Silt, Denver Cereal Volume 8 (32 page)

“
Sure,” Jill
said.

She fussed with Katy’s heavy coat and wool
hat before letting her get out of her car seat. Jacob helped Katy
out of the SUV while Jill stepped out on the passenger side. Jill
pulled her jacket around her round belly. Jacob took Katy’s hand
and held out a hand for Jill. They walked toward the large,
handcrafted farmhouse.

“
I bought this place right
after I moved to Colorado.” Jacob stopped walking. He let go of
Jill’s hand to point. “This house and the other two. Mormons built
them around 1900. They farmed here, raised families
here . . .for decades. The last generation moved on
to Utah around the time I moved back to Denver. The houses aren’t
extravagant, not in any way, really; but they are gorgeous inside,
solid, and . . .built with love.”

Jill watched his face in the moonlight.

“
I dreamed of living here
with my family,” Jacob said. “My daughter would keep her horses in
the barn.”

He waved in the direction of an empty field
near the house.

“
My sons would run across
the open fields,” Jacob said. “And
you . . .”

He leaned into her and she kissed his cheek.
Jill knew that he was telling her something important, so she
didn’t respond. He looked out across the field.

“
We’d grow corn or soy,”
Jacob said. “I wasn’t sensitized to the whole GMO thing and
pesticide thing then. Now, I think I’d grow sunflowers
and . . . organic corn and kids; maybe a cow or two,
some goats . . . I’d give it all up for a patch of
land, a lovely wife, and a few kids.”

Katy tugged on his hand and he let her go.
She ran out into the moonlight and twirled in place.

“
I’m sorry,” Jill said. “I
don’t know if you’re sharing a very sweet dream with us or if
you’re seriously thinking about giving everything up and moving to
this farm.”

Jacob nodded.

“
I see,” Jill watched Katy
in the moonlight. “Rough meeting?”

“
I’m tired,” Jacob said.
“Tired of the fighting. Tired of being tired. Tired of working so
damned much that I never see you or Katy. And the
boys . . . I thought this Lipson crap would be long
over before the boys were here. Now, I’ll be lucky to live long
enough to get away from the company.”

“
You’re distraught,” Jill
said.

He turned to give her an exasperated look.
Shaking his head, he looked away.

“
What?” she
asked.

“
You don’t understand,”
Jacob said. “All I ever wanted was a quiet life.”

“
What do we have?” Jill
raised an eyebrow at him.

Jacob moved away from her, picked up Katy,
and carried her to the car.

“
We may as well go,” he
said.

Jill came up behind him and held him for a
moment.

“
Why don’t you show me the
inside?” she whispered in his ear.

He looked back at her. For a moment, with
the twins between them, their eyes held. He gave her a partial
smile.

“
I’m sorry,” he said. “I’m
just . . .”

“
Worn out,” Jill said.
“Can we stay here tonight?”

“
No beds,” Jacob said.
“The house has been empty for a couple of months.”

“
Let’s go take a look,”
Jill said.

Chapter Two Hundred and
Forty-One
Crux

“
But . . .”
Jacob started.

“
I put the sleeping bags
in the back this afternoon and some blankets,” Jill
said.

“
You did?” Jacob
asked.

“
Of course I did,” Jill
said. “I bet we could camp out here for days if we wanted
to.”

Jacob smiled. He put Katy on his hip and
held out his hand to Jill. They walked onto the solid porch. Jill
noted the signs of Jacob’s small repairs. Jacob opened the heavy
oak front door, and they went inside. The home smelled like wood,
cinnamon, and love. Jacob flicked on the light and Jill smiled. The
house was just as he’d said, solid and beautiful.

“
The other houses are
rented by a couple of Amish families,” Jacob said. “But they’ve
already told me they want to move to the San Luis Valley or maybe
up by Craig. There are large Amish communities there. They want to
be with their own people. The family that was renting this house
has gone to buy a farm for them. The way the world is now, I don’t
blame them for not wanting to be out on their own like
this.”

“
This is where the new
city is supposed to go,” Jill said.

Jacob gave a curt nod.

“
The rooms are small, of
course, for heating,” Jacob said. “Unlike the Castle, the house has
all of the original fixtures.”

He nodded to the glass-paned doors and the
sliding doors in the living room. There were stained glass windows
on either side of the fireplace mantel, and every transom featured
the same happy stained glass theme.

“
The fireplaces work and
there’s a cord of wood in the back,” Jacob said. They walked toward
the back. “I replaced the furnace a couple years ago. It needs a
new kitchen, but what house doesn’t?”

Jill nodded.

“
You feel like you have to
give up your dream in order to create the new city,” Jill
said.

“
I feel like I’ve lost
myself in work,” Jacob said. “I don’t know if I’m too scared to
really have the dream—you, me, a bunch of kids, a nice quiet
life—or . . .”

“
The dream has changed?”
Jill asked.

“
Maybe,” Jacob said. “I’m
bound up with Delphie and the Castle and the drama of this stupid
company and all the people who . . . expect
something for nothing because they imagine that other guy is
getting something for nothing or . . . I don’t know
what.”

“
You’re tired,” Jill
said.

“
I’m tired of defending my
right to sell the company,” Jacob said. “I’m tired of defending my
decisions to the people in the company I sold to. I’m tired of
seeing my father look so old and exhausted. And mostly, I’m tired
of living without you and Katy and our boys in the center of every
minute of every day. I want a quiet life.”

Jill smiled.

“
You think I’m crazy,”
Jacob said.

“
I think you’re tired,”
Jill said.

He leaned against her for a moment.

“
I also think you’re a
person who needs a lot of stimulation,” Jill said. “A person who
has a lot of energy. Sure, you’d love living here for a while, but
once the farm was set up, the cows and goats purchased, and the
people hired to work the fields, you’d get restless. It wouldn’t
happen right away, but soon you’d want to fix up this house or
someone else’s house and you’d be away from us again.”

“
I hate that about me,”
Jacob said.

“
I love you, Daddy,” Katy
said. “Just the way you are. Would Delphie live in one of those
other houses? Would Mr. Colin and Ms. Julie take the other one so
Paddie could live next door?”

Jacob kissed Katy’s forehead and closed his
eyes. Jill watched him breathe in their daughter’s sparkle and let
it go. Katy put her hands on his face and he opened his eyes.

“
What’s wrong, Daddy?”
Katy asked.

“
I don’t know,” Jacob
said.

“
Can you take tomorrow
off?” Jill asked.

“
I already told Aden I
couldn’t do any more,” Jacob said. “He
told
me to take tomorrow off.
Blane’s going in. Dad’s not leaving until the afternoon. They’ll
survive without me.”

“
Then let’s just rest here
tonight,” Jill said.

“
What about dinner?” he
asked.

“
It’s in the cooler in the
back of the SUV,” Jill smiled.

Not sure what to say, he smiled.

“
Go on now,” Jill said.
“I’ll get us settled while you move things inside.”

“
We have to be back for
Val’s cyber premiere,” Jacob said.

Jill smiled.

“
What?” Jacob
asked.

“
Nothing,” Jill said.
“Would you mind getting the things from the car?”

Nodding, he set Katy down and left to get
their overnight gear. Jill turned to Katy.

“
What do you think?” Jill
asked.

“
I think our plan was
perfect,” Katy smiled.

Chuckling, Jill gestured toward the
staircase and they went up.

~~~~~~~~

The next morning

Friday early-morning—5:15 a.m.

Jacob kissed the back of her neck and her
bare shoulders. Even after all this time, and in her bulging
condition, his strong hands brought her waves of bliss. To her
surprise, she continued to enjoy the gentle movement and deeper
probing of his skin tight against hers. She turned her head for one
last kiss before she got up.

“
If you think I haven’t
noticed that this house has recently been cleaned,” Jacob said , “I
noticed last night.”

“
Clean?” Jill feigned
ignorance. She went through the bathroom to check on Katy. The
little girl was sound asleep in the room adjoining the bathroom.
She used the bathroom.

“
Is everyone coming here?”
Jacob asked.

“
Yes,” she said when she
stood in the doorway to the bathroom.

“
When?” Jacob
asked.

His eyes followed her. She dove into their
makeshift bed of sleeping bags and blankets.

“
After five,” Jill
said.

“
Caterers?” Jacob
asked.

“
Two,” Jill
said.

Jacob lay on his back staring at the
ceiling. She rolled over to rest her head on his shoulder.

“
Are you mad?” she
asked.

Jacob shook his head and stared at the
ceiling.

“
It’s the crux of my
problem,” Jacob said. “I don’t want to miss Valerie’s premiere.
She’s taking this huge risk by taking Jackie to the premiere. Sure,
she has her co-stars’ support, and they’re bringing their kids, but
it’s a big deal. She needs my support,
our
support. I would never miss
that, but man, I want to.”

“
It’s a web that ties you
down,” Jill said.

He nodded.

“
What weighs so heavily on
your heart?” Jill asked.

“
When I was a kid, Dad
used to say that my actions had consequences,” Jacob said. “There
was no way to know how the ripples of my actions would affect
others. I had to just do my best and . . .” He
shrugged.

“
I guess I feel the weight
of all that responsibility. Whatever I do now affects so many
people—at home, at Lipson, you, Katy, the boys,” Jacob said. “I
long to shrug it off like a cloak and . . .I don’t
know, move back to Maine, open a wood shop in the forest,
and . . .”

“
Would you be happier
there?” Jill asked.

“
Would you move to Maine
with me?”

“
Sure,” Jill said. “But
that’s not what I asked.”

He didn’t respond. After a while, she leaned
up to look at his face and he was sound asleep. She moved to get up
but he held her in place. She looked at him again.

“
Just tired,” he
said.

She smiled and lay down against him. For
this moment, they could just lie here, together, in peace.

~~~~~~~~

Friday afternoon—2:15 p.m.

Delphie turned on the electric kettle and
sat down at the table in the main Castle kitchen. For the last few
months, she’d met Valerie at this very table every day at 2:30 p.m.
for tea and chat. They would talk about nothing until Jackie woke
up or the kids came home from school.

But today, Valerie was in Los Angeles and
she was alone.

She could have gone with Valerie. In fact,
Valerie had almost begged her to go, but Delphie felt like she was
needed at home. After all, the rapists had threatened Sissy and
Jill would be having her grandsons soon. No, she was needed at
home.

Plus, there was the cyber celebration of
Valerie’s new movie tonight. Delphie knew she should be calling the
caterers and checking on everything. It was her job to make sure
everyone was ready for the party. But today, she didn’t feel like
taking care of anything.

Today, she wanted to have tea with Valerie
and talk about nothing.

The kettle clicked off at the same moment
she heard the side door to the Castle open. She got up and went to
the counter to make some green tea. Out of habit, she took a mug
down for Valerie.

“
Are you making tea?” Sam
asked.

She turned to look at him. He was wearing
the new tux and tails Valerie had bought for him for the cyber
premiere.

“
You’re dressed up,”
Delphie said.

“
Yes,” Sam said. “Wonder
why?”

“
Probably something out in
the world-ish,” Delphie sighed.

“
Yes, Eeyore, I have an
‘out in the world-ish’ event to attend,” Sam said. “Curious as to
what?”

Delphie gave a small shrug and Sam smiled.
He came up behind her and put his hands on her shoulders.

“
I’m here to pick up my
princess for the ball,” Sam said.

“
Celia’s gone, Sam,”
Delphie said.