Since Forever Ago (27 page)

“Life is crazy,” Liz mused with a roll of her eyes. “Get used to it.”

“Can I ask you something?” Audrey chimed in, peering at Riley with a curious expression on her face.

“I’m scared to say ‘yes,’” Riley slowly replied before exchanging a look with Liz. “But... sure.”

“So you didn’t feel anything with Noah after you got back together,” Audrey began with a pout. “Would you say that it was because of Max?”

“I... I don’t know.”

“Do you really not know?” Liz asked with an unimpressed frown.

“Okay, fine,” Riley muttered under her breath. “It was all because of Max, okay?”

“Well, how do you feel with Max?”

Riley scrunched up her face before letting her shoulders droop in defeat. “Whenever I’m near him, I feel like I’m going to vomit.”

“That’s... beautiful,” Liz commented with a wrinkle of her nose.

“I get light-headed and dizzy, and then I start sweating like a maniac! Then I’ll hate myself for not having put on deodorant that morning before I realize that I’m having trouble breathing, and then I get scared that I’m going to faint,” Riley babbled out. “Well, either faint or vomit.”

“Wow.”

“But, at the same time, I’m happy and relaxed. It’s like I’m really comfortable, but extremely uncomfortable at the same time.”

“Oh my God,” Audrey whispered out. “You’re in love.”

“In love?” Riley repeated, her brow furrowed in confusion. “With Max?”

“It pains me to say this,” Liz began with a shrug. “But I actually agree with her.”

“Okay, another one,” Audrey continued, her eyes glittering as she took a sip of champagne. “How are they in bed?”

“Audrey!”

“What?” Audrey cried out defensively. “It’s a legitimate question!”

“Well, Noah... Noah just does his... thing,” Riley said, cringing slightly as the words left her mouth. “He’s kind of just... in an out, you know? Like, bam bam, thank you, ma’am.”

“Ugh, the worst kind of all,” Audrey grumbled.

“Seriously,” Liz agreed with a grimace. “Fuck him.”

“And Max,” Riley slowly began, her stomach tightening at the mere thought of him. “He’s... Ugh, I don’t even know how to describe it.”

“God, now you
have
to describe it,” Audrey breathily replied. “And be sure to use lots and lots of adjectives!”

“I can’t!” Riley blurted out, her cheeks reddening in embarrassment. “But, with him, everything’s so slow and caring and, well, perfect. I can tell that he’s actually
thinking
about me, if you get what I’m trying to say. And then I just get lost in the moment and everything makes sense and doesn’t at the exact same time. It’s like he makes me forget how words are supposed to work.”

“Now
I
feel like I’m going to vomit,” Liz muttered under her breath.

“He was perfect,” Riley mumbled under her breath. “Like
literally
perfect.”

Audrey let out a pathetic whimper as she clung onto every last one of Riley’s words, frowning ever so slightly as she observed the pained look on her friend’s miserable face.

“But I fucked it up,” Riley groaned out. “When I told him about Noah, the look on his face was just... I know it’s too late now.”

“Ugh, you should’ve just listened to us!” Audrey blurted out.

“Audrey!” Liz hissed in warning.

“Shit, I know!” Riley wailed in response. “Seriously, FUCK me!”

“Do you children not understand what a bridal shower entails?” Taylor barked out at the three of them in annoyance as she marched over to where they sat. “Smiles, giggles and lighthearted banter,” she added, authoritatively crossing her arms across her chest as she stopped in front of them. “So why is it that all I’m hearing from this end of the table is groaning, yelling and the words, ‘fuck’ and ‘shit’, being used in every other sentence? You’re wearing pink tea dresses for crying out loud!”

“Riley’s heartbroken,” Audrey told her with a heavy sigh.

“Still?” Taylor flatly replied. “News flash—Noah’s a dick. Get over it!”

“Talk about a bridezilla,” Audrey muttered under her breath. 

“This isn’t about Noah,” Liz explained as Riley let out another miserable groan. “This is all about Max.”

“Wait, what?” Taylor blurted out, her eyes widening in interest. “
Max
Max? Run-away-from-home-to-hide-in-our-pantry-and-eat-all-of-my-cereal Max?” she excitedly asked. “Peed-in-his-pants-because-he-didn’t-want-to-stop-playing-hide-and-go-seek-with-Riley Max?”

“I sincerely hope that that second one happened at a forgivable age,” Liz said with a frown. 

“AMANDA!” Taylor yelled out, beckoning for her best friend to come over before turning back to Liz. “So it’s true? Oh my God, you
have
to tell me everything,”

“There’s nothing to tell!” Riley yelled out. “Abso-fucking-lutely
nothing
!”

“So I’m guessing that you two are still in the honeymoon phase?” Taylor sarcastically replied. 

“Who?” Amanda curiously asked as she approached them. “Why’d you call me over?”

“Guess what finally happened?” Taylor sang out, her eyes glittering with mischief.

“Um, you finally figured out where to seat Lauren so she doesn’t cause a scene?” Amanda asked in a hushed whisper, sneaking a furtive glance in their histrionic friend’s direction. “You
really
should make sure that it’s a good distance away from the open bar so that—”

“Riley got together with Max,” Taylor announced with a triumphant smile, motioning for Amanda to hand her something. “Pay up.”

Amanda let out an annoyed scoff. “What did we say—fifty bucks?”

“You guys
bet
on me?” Riley cried out in disbelief. “Are you really my sister?”

“Weddings are expensive,” Taylor said with a shrug. “What happened, anyway?”

“Well, after she broke up with Noah,” Audrey piped up with a bright smile on her face. “Max
finally
swooped in and told her how he felt.”

“What do you mean by ‘
finally
’?” Riley asked in annoyance. “You’re acting as if—”

“Oh, shutup,” Taylor moaned, shooting Riley a tired stare. “Not everyone is as dense as you are, dumbass. Anyone with at least one working eyeball could see that he’s been obsessed with you since, well, forever.”

“What?” Riley cried out in protest. “No! He totally—”

“Agreed,” Audrey said with a shrug.

“Same,” Amanda concurred, nodding in agreement.

“What?” Liz blurted out, frowning in confusion. “How come I never noticed?”

“You’re a pessimist,” Audrey slowly replied, patting her on the hand in reassurance. “It’s okay. We need more of you in the world.”

“Anyway, keep going!” Taylor yelled out. “What happened then?”

“Oh, so then they got together, and it was seriously the cutest thing,” Audrey gushed, letting out a giddy squeal. “He would come over and have the biggest smile on his face, and she would always freak out and act like a total spaz! It was the cutest thing ever.”

Riley let out a disgruntled groan, though Taylor and Amanda chose to ignore her as they gestured for Audrey to continue.

“But
then
Riley found out about how Max had basically told Noah that he should cheat on her! Like, Noah had told Max that he had been having seconds thoughts. So he asked Max if Max thought that Noah should act on his itch to cheat, and then Max told Noah that he
did
think that Noah should just go for it. So then
that
happened, and after Noah and Riley broke up, she and Max got together and it was so, so cute. But
then
Noah saw them at the library and told her everything!”

“Wait,” Taylor murmured, a puzzled look on her face. “I have no idea what you just said.”

“Try
living
with her,” Liz said with a smirk.

Audrey took a deep breath before continuing on with her convoluted storytelling. “So
then
Riley acted like a crazy person and got back together with Noah. We kept telling her not to, but she wouldn’t even listen!”

“Twenty bucks,” Amanda announced with a pleased smirk, holding her palm out to Taylor, who scowled in response.

“And then she told Max!” Audrey squealed, to which Taylor and Amanda shook their heads in disapproval. “Liz and I were watching them through the window, and he looked totally devastated when she told him. Or, at least, when we
think
she told him. Like, we couldn’t really hear what they were talking about since the window was closed, but he looked really sad about it either way.”

“Poor guy.”

“Never even stood a chance.”

“But
then
she finally realized that Noah’s a total bastard! I mean, like, hello? What took you so long, am I right? So she dumped him once and for all,” Audrey excitedly added. “And now she’s all alone.”

“Thanks,” Riley petulantly grumbled.

“So now what?” Taylor asked. “That’s it? You’re not even going to bother to try and fix things?”

“What is there to fix?” Riley dramatically replied. “I bet he’s so sick of my shit by now!”

“I don’t know,” Amanda slowly began. “I think you should just talk to him.”

“No,” Riley said with a firm shake of her head. “I’ve already caused enough trouble and there’s
no
way that our friendship can be saved. It’s over. I mean, what I did was so selfish and fucked up. I just don’t want to be
his
Noah, you know?”

“I guess,” Taylor replied, frowning slightly in agreement.

“So let’s stop talking about it,” Riley sighed out. “It’s pointless and exhausting. I just need to get over this. Get over it and move on. Cut my losses, you know? Besides, this is your bridal shower and you should be enjoying it, not listening to me whine about all of my drama,” she added, lifting her chin resolutely. “So let’s focus on
you
and forget about
me
. I’m going to invest all of my energy into being the best maid of honor that I can possibly be from this point onward. I promise.”

––––––––

“S
o even though I
really
hate my sister sometimes,” Riley slurred out into the microphone, the champagne sloshing over the rim of her glass as she drunkenly swung it around in the air. “I’m
so
glad that she convinced someone to promise to put up with her shit for eternity. Kudos to you, Johnny,” she added with a grin, pointing her glass in the embarrassed groom’s direction as Taylor fumed beside him. “You’re a good man.”

“This is awesome,” Riley’s ten-year-old cousin, Austin, gushed, gazing up at her from across the table as his mother sat frozen with a horrified look on her face.

“Seeing how much Taylor and Johnny love each other is almost inspirational,” Riley stated, her lips pursing into a sad smile. “Like, it makes me feel
super
shitty sometimes when I’m near them because, like, it’s kind of sickening? I don’t know if all of you know this, but Taylor will start talking in this baby voice and it’s just like, ‘Holy shit, woman! You’re 28 years old!’ I see you laughing over there, Megan,” she sang out, nodding in the snickering bridesmaid’s direction. “Totally gross, right? But, still, really great to see.”

“Oh my God,” Amanda quietly muttered under her breath to a grimacing Liz as Riley took another gulp from her glass.

“And I’m sure that many of you can agree with me that Taylor can be a total monster sometimes,” Riley drawled out, shooting her infuriated sister a pointed look. “No, really. You can be a real bitch.”

“She said the ‘b’ word!” Austin quietly gasped out as more than a few of the guests in attendance looked around in confusion. This was the most uncomfortable rehearsal dinner that they had ever attended! What kind of maid of honor speech
was
this?

“But that’s how I know that she’s really, truly, honestly, without a doubt in love,” Riley continued, lowering her now empty glass and gesturing for Austin to refill it. “Because, whenever she’s around Johnny, she somehow manages to become a little bit nicer. Like, she’ll hold her tongue during arguments. Or she’ll apologize first after fights. She’ll even swallow her pride and give in during power struggles,” she said with a sigh. “And isn’t that what love’s all about? Compromise? About realizing that there exists someone else whose happiness you treasure more than your own? That you don’t
care
how much it hurts as long as that other person is smiling?”

All of the distraught faces in the audience seemed to soften as she said this, many of the guests murmuring in agreement as Riley took another generous sip of liquid courage.

“Love is tricky. Like, it can really fuck with you, you know that?” Riley quietly sighed out. “It can convince you to act stupid or make terrible decisions that you’ll regret, or it can help you realize what’s important and make you deliriously happy. It can make you act like you belong in a straightjacket or on a movie screen, and it can bring you to feel like dancing in the rain or hiding under your blanket. There’ll be times when you think that it just totally sucks, and there’ll be times when you think it’s the greatest thing in the world. It’s a crazy, complicated, amazing thing that’ll be around to confuse us for the rest of our lives,” she said with a frown. “I mean, it totally sucks that some of us might
never
figure it out, but I’m proud to see that Taylor and Johnny have done just that.”

And you’ll be one of those losers who never does
, she glumly thought to herself as she plastered a tiny smile to her face.

“So here’s to my sister and the love of her life,” Riley concluded, lifting her glass in the couple’s direction, both of whom were now smiling and shaking their heads in appreciation. “I fucking
love
you guys. And I hope to someday find the kind of love that you two share. No, like, seriously. I’m really hoping I do. Because, like, cats, you know?” she muttered under her breath, bringing her glass to her lips as everyone followed suit. “Oh shit, I drank it all...”

“Thank you, Riley, for your, uh, lovely words,” Johnny’s best man, a sweaty guy named Paul, called out as he pried the microphone from her fingers. “The maid of honor, everyone!” he nervously added as Riley took a little bow before plopping into her seat.