Since He Really Feels (He Feels) (20 page)

I dreaded telling him about both of those things, and I had no idea how to do it, but I had to.

I threw my stuff in my bag. A glance at the clock told me that it was still early, and I hoped that everyone would still be asleep so I could just sneak out. For once, I got my wish, and I
left quietly, figuring I’d text Travis later to thank him for being the friend I needed.

When I arrived home,
Nick’s car wasn’t in the garage, and the house was empty.

I located my phone on the counter. I had two new texts, and both were from Nick.

The first one was sent the night before, just after I’d left.
I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that I wanted us to take a break. I just want a break from the fighting. I want you to come home.

The second one was from this morning, about a half an hour earlier.
I’m heading into work. Please call me as soon as you get this. We need to talk. I love you.

My heart warmed with his sentiment. I loved him, too, and I knew that with a little communication and a lot of work, we’d
find our way out of this mess. 

I didn’t want to have this conversation over the phone
, so I grabbed my keys and drove toward the office.

A
s soon as I exited the elevator for our floor, I heard two voices in the quiet office. One was definitely female, and the other was obviously Nick.

I heard a loud, feminine laugh that made my blood boil.

Fucking Bree.

I stalked my way down the hallway and wasn’t at all surprised at what I saw when I arrived at Nick’s office doorway. Nick was sitting at his desk with a smile on his face as he looked at his computer, and Bree was standing behind him again, bending down with her breasts
nearly pressed against his shoulder. Could she get any closer to him? Seriously? Didn’t she just attend our engagement party the night before? This woman had zero respect for the fact that Nick was in a relationship. It may have been a rocky relationship at the moment, but that was none of her damn business.

They both looked up at me at the same moment, and Nick’s smile faded quickly. Not shockingly, Bree’s didn’t; in fact, her smile widen
ed a bit.

“Julianne,” Nick whispered as his eyes met mine. I saw a flash of fear in his eyes, and I wasn’t sure if it was because he’d been caught alone with Bree or if it was because I was standing there and we had issues to resolve.

I pressed my lips together into a forced, tight smile as I raised my eyebrows at the scene before me.

“Bree, would you please excuse us?” he said, his eyes never leaving mine.

“Of course,” she rasped, and she shimmied her way out of the office, breezing past me without so much as a glance.

Nick stood, still gazing at me, and I hadn’t moved from the doorway. As I stared back at him, I felt the guilt hit me again. What had I been thinking?

Why had my instinct been to run to Travis?

He was wearing just a red t-shirt and jeans, and I couldn’t help my mouth watering as I gazed back. He really was just so devastatingly handsome whether he was wearing a formal suit and tie or casual clothes, but beyond his good looks, I knew that he had a good heart, a heart that swelled for me. He’d proven that more than once; he quit his job for me, he took care of me when I needed him to, he bought me a fucking car, he charmed my parents.

Maybe I didn’t deserve him, but I was going to fight like hell to keep him.

“Come in, baby,” he said, his voice low.

I walked into the office and shut the door behind me as he came around his desk. He met me midway across his office and pulled me into his arms.

I felt like I was exactly where I belonged. My heart raced and my breathing became shallow as he held me close against him. He buried his face in my neck, and I felt tears brimming in my eyes. How had things between us become so monumentally fucked up? This moment – Nick holding me in his arms, his lips finding the skin of my throat – was how things were supposed to be. This told me how we both felt about each other, because I could feel the love he had for me pouring out of him just in a simple embrace.

He took a deep breath and then pulled back. He placed one brief kiss on my lips. Brief as it was, it still sent butterflies racing through my system.

He
gazed at me. As our eyes met, something in the air changed and electricity crackled.

“Where did you go?” he asked.

I started to open my mouth to answer, but I was silenced when his lips crashed down over mine. And that’s when all coherent thought left for a moment. The guilt was gone, the fears were gone, the indecision and stupidity and foolishness of all of our fights were gone. It was just Nick and me wrapped in each other.

His tongue found mine and I moaned, having forgotten in all of our angst over the past few days how magical his kisses were. It was slow, his tongue exploring every crevice of my mouth as I gave right back.

I felt him backing us up until my ass hit the conference table behind me. He lifted me up onto it and then stood between my legs, so I wrapped my legs around him, drawing him as close to me as I could, our mouths never breaking contact. His kiss transformed from slow and sensual to aggressive and erotic.

His hand moved the length of my torso until he cupped my neck. His strong hand against my soft skin was perfection.

He groaned into me, clearly needing this close connection as much as I did, and then he pulled back only long enough to pull my shirt over my head. I pulled his shirt off and ran my fingers down his chest, down his perfectly chiseled abdominal muscles, and settled on that perfect slice of hipbone as his lust-filled eyes met mine.

His hunger for me was apparent as his mouth came down over mine once again, his lips assaulting mine as his hands moved up my back and snapped off my bra. He tore it from my body and then manhandled my breasts like he hadn’t been with me for weeks or months.

This Nick was aggressive and hot, and equal parts of me wanted him to hurry up and get inside of me while I never wanted it to end.

He pulled me close against him so my chest was crushed to his, and then his fingers wandered south, down my chest to my stomach, finally settling between my legs.
I needed to get rid of the clothes separating our bodies. I needed the connection I shared with him. After our night apart, I needed to prove to him that he was the only man for me.

His fingers felt their way up until he undid the button on my jeans, and then he slid his hand down my panties until he found the spot he had been searching for. His breath hissed between his teeth as he pushed one finger into me, and I arched back and moaned as we both felt how wet I was for him.

My hand found his dick outside of his jeans, ready and waiting for me, and I rubbed my hand up and down in time to the rhythm he set inside of me.

“Jesus, Julianne,” he moaned, and then he pulled back from me to remove my jeans and panties at once from my body.

He knelt on the floor between my legs. I spread them wide enough to accommodate him, and I felt his warm breath inching its way along my thigh as he placed open mouth kisses and dragged his tongue along. When he met the juncture between my thighs, I tossed my legs over his shoulders. He swiped his tongue through my wet center just once, and it was enough to send a shockwave of desire coursing through my torso.

I threw my head back and planted my hands behind me to support my weight as I basked in the pleasure he was delivering. His tongue moved slowly, and I was reminded just how good he was at pleasuring me with his mouth. He found my entrance and
teased me with his tongue as it moved in and out, in and out, ever so slowly.

He brought me right to the edge of ecstasy and then he pulled back, brushing a gentle kiss to the inside of my thigh. He pressed his finger into me and his tongue found my clit. He sucked and licked, and the combination had my entire body tensing for what was going to be a very intense orgasm.

“God, I need to be inside of you,” he said. He pulled back suddenly and stood, lowering his jeans and boxers just enough, and then his mouth found mine again as he plunged into me.

“Oh God,” I yelled out, feeling the perfect fullness of Nick driving into me over and over.

A low growl grumbled up from his chest as he pumped in and out, and then his hands found my breasts as he cupped them. The combination of his mouth, his hands, his body, and just Nick was enough to propel me into oblivion.

I yelled out incoherently as I flew headfirst into a shattering orgasm just as I felt
him thrust up and let go. His groans matched my moans as we both hit our peak intensely, and then he held me close as we both shuddered and came down from the intensity we shared together.

He stayed buried inside of me, my face in his neck and my arms clasped fiercely around his neck.

“I love you so much,” he murmured into me. With the connection we shared and the loving sentiment coming from him, I was overwhelmed with emotions.

He slipped out of me
and kissed me once more, slowly and sensually again, coming full circle after our aggressive office sex.

He pulled back from me and handed me my clothes and then he fastened his jeans and found his shirt.

I had missed the closeness we’d just shared, but I knew that it was time to talk. I was just so afraid that the beautiful moments we just had would be the last of our relationship together once I opened up and told him where I’d gone the night before, and, more importantly, what I’d almost done.

We both got dressed, and then he motioned for me to sit in one of the chairs that faced his desk, and he sat in the other one. We faced each other at an angle, our chairs pulled close together.

“We need to talk,” he said quietly.

“I know. But I prefer what we just did.”

He chuckled. “Me, too.”

We were both quiet for a moment, and my heart started racing as I realized it was time to tell him everything.

“Julianne—” he started at the exact same time that I said, “Last night—”

We both stopped.

“You first,” I said, suddenly wanting to prolong the inevitable.

“Are you sure?”

I nodded.

He sighed. “I know you’re angry with me because I keep putting off telling you things that you want to know. I want to give you what you need, but I need you to understand that it’s difficult.”

“I get that, Nick. I just want you to let me in.”

“I have let you in, baby. No one knows me like you do.”

“I love you,” I said. I wanted to encourage him. I wanted him to know that I was his cheerleader and I always would be.

“I know. And that’s why I’m willing to tell you things about my family that I have never told anyone else.”

Suddenly, for about the millionth time in recent memory, I felt like a complete idiot.

I was all out of sorts. Clearly I was on a freaking emotional roller coaster, and I wasn’t dealing with any of the constant issues that were arising in my life
in any sort of appropriate way. The only thing I could think to attribute it to was the fact that I had fallen so hard so fast for one man while the other man in my life was suddenly gone.

Normally I faced issues head-on. Normally I reacted maturely, with a calm, rational head. But somehow everything I had done in the past few weeks was totally out of character. I was being immature, reacting impulsively to every situation, and behaving like a child.

As Nick prepared to tell me about the hardships he’d endured in his past, I realized that this wasn’t just about Nick. It wasn’t about him not letting me in or brushing me off. It was about his past with his family; it was about other people and apparently a history that he didn’t want to share with anybody. I was being incredibly selfish, and it wasn’t fair of me to force that information out of him when he wasn’t ready to talk.

“Nick, stop,” I said just as he opened his mouth to continue talking. “Please don’t talk just because I am forcing you to. I want you to tell me those difficult things when you’re ready to tell me, not because I am being a stubborn brat about it.”

He pulled my hand to him, and then he brushed his lips across my knuckles. “You’re not being a stubborn brat. I appreciate your need to know.”

“Let me go first,” I blurted.

“Okay,” he said, drawing the word out. “What do you want to say?”

“I want to tell you where I went last night.”

He still clasped my hand in his, his lips brushing casually across the back of my hand. “Where did you go last night?” he asked quietly.

I sighed.
“The Millers’ house.”

He froze. “You ran to Travis?” he asked, his voice thick and hard. He dropped my hand and his eyes glazed over with anger.

Shit, if that’s how he reacted to the news that I went to the Miller house, I was not looking forward to my next confession.

I nodded. “I was just so mad. It was automatically where my car went.”

“That’s fucking bullshit and you know it.”

“I don’t want to fight about it, Nick. I can’t change it.”