Since You've Been Gone (33 page)

“Then why do you keep indulging in them?” Suzanne was crying harder, clearly headed for a jag, and Rebecca couldn't resist trying to joke her out of it like Jonnie used to do. “My God, isn't the singing enough to inflict on yourself and everyone else, Mother? Sean's requesting ear-muffs.”

Suzanne went quiet for a moment. Then she started to giggle—long, wet, messy giggles but giggles nevertheless. “You never appreciated good music.”

“Yes I do. That's the trouble.”

Suzanne hid her eyes, still giggling, still crying, then lapsing into hiccups. “God, what a fool I am.”

“No. Just a little self-indulgent these days, but I see flashes of the mother I used to know. My beautiful, sparkling mother who loved life and enjoyed it like a child.”

“Yes, I did, didn't I? I didn't think anything bad could ever happen to me. Or my children.” She wiped at her eyes on the sleeve of her robe and looked up at Rebecca. “When I heard what happened at the library, I went to pieces. Of course I was already a mess—wine all day, that scene at dinner when Frank sent me to my room like a naughty kid—but I can pull myself together in an emergency. Usually. But when I heard you'd not only saved that girl from being murdered but were attacked while doing it, I simply couldn't take it in. Betty told me you were all right, but Betty soft-pedals everything with me.”

“Neither Sonia nor I was nearly killed. She was hurt worse than I was—hit with a stun gun—but she's all right.”

“But still, Rebecca, what you did! You got a vision that this girl was going to be
murdered
and you rushed right in
without a thought for yourself! I could never have done that. My mother would have, but not me. It makes me feel worthless. And it makes me feel a little afraid of you and also a little resentful that my daughter has so much strength that I don't.”

Rebecca tightened her grip on her mother's shoulders. “Mother, you don't have ESP like Grandmother Ava and me. And I know you don't even want it because it scares you. Believe me, she didn't understand it and neither do I. And we didn't ask for it. But my vision of Sonia made me run to the library to protect her, just as you would have done to protect Jonnie if you'd known where he was. We're all capable of things we don't know we are—you included. I'm not saying this to cheer you up. I really believe it. You just fall back on alcohol because you think you don't have any inner strength. But you do. Ava was the strongest woman I've ever known. You think
I'm
strong—do you believe all those strong genes just skipped you? Does that make any sense?”

Suzanne sniffled, “It's possible.”

“I don't accept that. I think Grandmother was just a dominating personality who unwittingly taught you that your function in life was to be decorative. And Daddy, adore him though I did, did the same thing. I think your problems are the result of training, not insufficiencies of character.”

Suzanne looked at her, batted her tear-laden lashes, and said with a hint of a smile, “You're making my head spin. I should never have let you go off to college. I can't understand anything you say anymore.”

“Yes, you can.” Rebecca squeezed her mother. “So please go in, give Frank a hug, and make a new resolution to quit drinking.” She grinned. “And please, for the love of heaven, stop singing.”

“I'm swearing it off for the whole evening.” Suzanne laughed. “I shall retire to my room and
read.
How's that?”

“Much easier on everyone. I'm heading for Molly's.”
Somewhat hesitantly, Rebecca kissed her mother on the forehead. “Have a nice evening, Mother.”

Suzanne hugged her fiercely. “You, too, my dear girl. And be careful. I don't want to lose you, too.”

Rebecca dashed up to her room, feeling incredibly light. She'd felt real affection in her mother's teasing, in her hug. She realized how much she hungered for that affection. Receiving it could make up for a multitude of traumas, including last night's.

Sean looked at her appealingly as she smoothed a bit of cheerful wine lipgloss on her pale mouth and grabbed up her purse. She looked back at him. “You and I have spent too much time apart lately. I think you'd like Molly's, and I could use a protector. How about being my escort tonight?”

As soon as she reached for his leash, Sean turned in a circle, his stump of a tail wriggling in excitement. At home she lavished attention on him with daily walks around the Garden District and weekends at Audubon Park. Here he'd been passed off too often to Betty and Walt.

Rebecca was relieved to see no news vans or loiterers around Molly's house. She'd already called ahead to say she was coming, and Molly greeted her at the door with a distinct lack of warmth. In fact, her emotions seemed flat, as if she felt nothing. This seeming detachment worried Rebecca more than agitation. It was as if Molly had given up.

Molly, who loved dogs, paid no attention to-Sean. He in turn kept his distance from her. “Would you like something to drink?” she asked Rebecca. “Coffee? Wine?”

“I smell fresh coffee. I'll fix myself a cup. You want one, too?”

“No thanks. I've had about a gallon today.”

“I'm going to let Sean off his leash. He's housebroken and he won't destroy anything.”

“I don't care about anything in this house except Todd's room. I'll never move one thing in Todd's room.
Never!”

Rebecca ignored the outburst although it disturbed her,
since it only underscored Molly's hopelessness. When Rebecca came back from the kitchen, Molly sat on the couch staring at Todd's photo. “I don't suppose you've had any more visions of him.”

“Not for a couple of days,” Rebecca said gently.

“Too busy out saving Sonia.”

Sarcasm had never been a trait of Molly's. Rebecca bristled at the criticism. “What do you think I should have done, Molly? Left her to die? Besides, the person who tried to kill her is probably the person who abducted Todd. There was a chance of catching him.”

“But you didn't, did you? You just stirred up a lot of publicity for yourself.”

Rebecca set down her cup. “I feel absolutely miserable about what has happened to Todd and what you're going through, but I will not tolerate this attack. I'm doing the best I can for you, Molly, but I'm not a miracle worker.”

Molly closed her eyes. She was quiet for so long that Rebecca had begun to think she was no longer going to acknowledge her, that she was just going to sit there like a rock until Rebecca left, but at last she said meekly, “I'm sorry. That was horrible of me.”

“It wasn't horrible. Just undeserved.”

“I'm really,
really
sorry.”

“Don't worry about it, Molly. Honestly. It's forgotten.”

“I'm just so scared.” She looked at Rebecca with tragic eyes. “Do you still feel that Todd is alive?”

“Yes,” Rebecca said truthfully. “Although I haven't had a vision, today, I feel…”

“What?”

“It sounds stupid. His life force.”

“Did you feel it with Jonnie?”

Not an innocent question. A test. Again, Rebecca answered honestly. “Yes, I did. For a few days.” She paused. “About twenty-four hours before he was found, the feeling went away. I didn't want to believe it, but I knew Jonnie was dead. I've never told anyone that before, but I wasn't
surprised when his body was found. Devastated, but not surprised.”

“But you don't feel that way about Todd. That he's gone.”

“No.” Dear God, don't let me be wrong about this, Rebecca prayed. She was being totally sincere, but desperately hoped her gut feelings were accurate. “Todd is alive.”

Molly closed her eyes again. This time she seemed to be marshaling strength. She didn't need idle chatter to distract her. “I'm going to look for Sean,” Rebecca muttered. “I haven't seen him for a few minutes.”

She found him lying on Todd's bed. She turned on the Lava lamp, closed the door to the room, and joined him on the bed. “Whatcha doing in here?” she asked, rubbing the thick hair on his neck. “Getting the scent of the little guy who's missing? Maybe that's not such a bad idea.” She flipped back Todd's quilt and held a bed pillow to Sean's nose. “He has strawberry blond hair. I know they say dogs can't see color, but it can't hurt. Now give this pillow a good sniffing.” Sean obeyed, sniffing for all he was worth.

“Great.” She looked around the room, then got off the bed and opened Todd's closet. She took out a pair of jeans and a sweatshirt lying on the floor. “Now try these.” She reached down for two pairs of shoes. “And these.” Sean sniffed assiduously. “Got a head full of Todd now?”

The bedroom door opened and Rebecca jumped, fearing it would be Molly angry that the sanctity of Todd's room was being violated. But it was only Esther with her long, fluffy white hair and bright blue eyes. “Thought I might find you in here. Letting Sean get Todd's scent?”

“How did you know?”

“When Jonnie was missing, you did the same with Rusty, although the dog already knew his master's scent. Molly doesn't know you're here and frankly, dear, I don't think she'd like it.”

“She's in a foul mood tonight.”

“So I gathered. I suppose she's entitled. She's been pretty brave through it all.”

Rebecca stood and hugged Esther. “Thank you so much for agreeing to stay with her. I know how you hate to leave home.”

Esther made a face. “I'll be forced to leave next week when I go to the hospital. And maybe I can help Molly. She used to enjoy my company.”

“She loves you. You could always make her laugh and feel secure. Her last caretaker—Jean Wright—was hardly a thrill ride.”

“But she
was
a nurse. If something should happen to Molly like a panic attack or hysterics or a fainting spell—”

“You'll call 911. Or Clay Bellamy. I think he's on duty at the emergency room.” She hugged Esther again. “You'll do fine.”

Rebecca decided that although her visit had been brief, Molly had seen enough of her for one night. Her hostilities flowed because Rebecca had not been able to work wonders. Rebecca was familiar with the syndrome. Still, she did not like to be around it. Neither did Sean. He sensed the tension and acted jittery, which Rebecca feared would result in a defensive nip on someone's ankle or a nervous splatter of urine against a wall. It was definitely time to leave.

Molly bade her a wan farewell. Esther winked at her and told her they would be fine. She also told Sean to take good care of his mistress.

Unlike last night, the evening was windless. A wispy fog crept slyly down the street, making the houses and trees look as if they were shrouded in a thin sweep of gauze. Lights in houses were muted, indistinct, and the few passing cars made a dull, distant sound.

As Rebecca neared the Thunderbird, she pulled her keys from her purse. Then Sean stopped dead and let out a low, menacing growl. The image of a hooded man with a stun gun flashed in Rebecca's mind and her blood seemed to stop flowing. Her grip tightened on Sean's leash and she pointed the notched end of the car key outward, ready to jab it into an eye if necessary.

“Who's there?” she asked in a surprisingly strong voice.

“It's Randy Messer. Sonia's boyfriend. Please keep the dog away from me. I need to talk to you.”

Randy Messer. Some people thought he'd taken Todd Ryan. The police thought he'd lost an earring in the library when he attacked and tried to kill Sonia. Sonia believed completely in his innocence and Rebecca believed in Sonia's instincts.

Still, she hesitated. It was dark. The street was deserted. This was no boy—he was 18. He could stab her, or shoot her, and be gone before anyone knew a thing was wrong.

“Please, Miss Ryan. Sonia says to trust you. I gotta talk to someone.”

Pain and fear reverberated in his voice. I'm being a fool, Rebecca thought, still clutching the key, but she made a decision. “I'm holding tight to the dog's leash. Don't get too close to me and don't make any sudden moves or I'll turn him loose on you. He'll go straight for your throat.” Sean would have to jump six feet to go for Randy's throat, but it sounded good. “He's maimed people before. Do you understand me?”

“Yeah, yeah, I get it. And I'm not gonna hurt you or the dog. Please, Miss Ryan, I don't have all night.”

“Step into the light.”

“I'm not standing under any damned streetlight. The police are looking for me. I'll take two steps forward. You can see me then. Okay?”

“Fine,” Rebecca said, then remembered she had never seen Randy Messer before. She hadn't the faintest idea what he looked like.

But when he came forward, she knew him instantly. Blond hair, blue eyes, chiseled features. Except for the soulful yet keen look in the eyes and the lines added by thirteen years, he could have been Clay's brother. No wonder Sonia had seemed so smitten with Clay. He looked like her own true teenaged love.

“How's Sonia?” Randy asked.

“Last I heard she's doing fine, but her doctor is letting
in only immediate family. And Chief Garrett is keeping a guard on her room.”

“Thank God.” Randy closed his eyes for a moment. “I kept thinking of her lying there all alone, unprotected, and some creep coming in and smothering her.”

“Can't happen,” Rebecca reassured him.

He reached up to his pocket. “Just a cigarette,” he said when she tensed. He pulled it out and lit it with a lighter held in a shaking hand. “Tve been hiding all day.”

“They found an earring in the Pioneer Room right beside where Sonia was attacked. They thinks it's yours.”

“They found an earring? Jeez, do I have the only earring in town? Or have they done their DNA tests on it and proved it's mine?”