Sing as We Go (31 page)

The first film ended and the Pathé News came on. As the house lights went up, Amy was out of her seat and running up the aisle towards her before anyone else had moved.

‘Kathy, Oh Kathy, I’m so glad I’ve found you. Why didn’t you write, you naughty girl? We’ve been so worried – all of us. Can we go somewhere to talk?’

‘Not until after the last film,’ Kathy said. ‘I’m still on duty.’

‘Of course. All right.’

‘You coming to the bar across the road, Amy?’

‘Yes – yes, you go on. Port and lemon for me, please. I’ll be there in a mo. I’ve just met an old friend.’

‘We gathered,’ the other girl smiled and another quipped, ‘That’s her way of getting out of paying for the drinks.’ She winked at Kathy. ‘I bet she doesn’t know you from Adam – or rather Eve – does she?’

‘Oh, yes,’ Kathy said huskily. ‘She – she’s my best friend.’

Another hug and Amy followed her friends, saying again, ‘Don’t you dare disappear again. I’ll see you afterwards in the bar. Okay? And the drinks will be on me.’

Kathy looked forward to, and yet at the same time dreaded, the end of the show.

When all the cinema-goers had finally gone, Kathy took a deep breath and made her way across the road.

‘Here she is.’ Amy jumped up at once and beckoned her to the corner where the five girls were seated. She made the introductions. ‘This is Dorothy, Millie, Janet and Vicky.’

‘What are you doing here?’

‘We’re just up the road at a holiday camp that’s been turned into a training camp for the Navy,’ Amy explained. ‘It’s my first posting. But none of us know how long we’re here for.’ She hugged Kathy again enthusiastically. ‘Oh, it’s so good to see you. Tell me everything.’

‘Well . . .’ she hesitated, not wanting to talk freely in front of the others.

‘Look,’ Dorothy said, perceptive to Kathy’s hesitation. ‘You two go off on your own. We’re fine here. We’ll give you a shout when we’re ready to leave. The Liberty Bus leaves in fifty minutes and we mustn’t miss it.’

‘The Liberty Bus?’ Kathy smiled as they rose and, carrying their drinks, moved to a table in a quiet corner where, above the hubbub, their conversation would not be heard. ‘Whatever’s that?’

‘It’s the bus that brings us from camp into town,’ Amy giggled. ‘Brings us to liberty, I suppose.’

There was a pause before Kathy asked haltingly, ‘How – how’s everyone? Your mum and dad and – and Morry?’

‘They’re all fine, but we’ve all been so worried about you. Tell me everything, Kathy. How’ve you been and – ’ she lowered her voice – ‘what about the baby?’

Suddenly it all came pouring out, like the floodgates opening. She told Amy everything that had happened to her since she had left Lincoln, ending with, ‘He – he’s been adopted by a nice woman, I have to admit. She looks smart and lives in a big house on the outskirts of the town. And there’s no doubt she – she loves him.’

‘You – you know who she is? I thought they didn’t let you know anything about the adoptive parents, just in case . . .’ Amy faltered and stopped.

‘Just in case I tried to snatch him back or made a nuisance of myself, you mean?’

‘Well – yes.’

Kathy sighed, and explained how she had found out the Wainwrights’ address.

‘You rogue,’ Amy said with admiration. ‘I wouldn’t have dared.’

‘I think that’s what the matron depends on. Why she’s not more careful to secure her records. She doesn’t think anyone would dare to go into her office. Mind you, I’m surprised no one has.’

‘Perhaps they have. They’re not going to tell anyone, are they? Any more than you’ve done.’

‘No,’ Kathy smiled. ‘I suppose not.’

‘So, what are you going to do? Try to get him back somehow?’

Kathy was silent for a long moment while she searched her heart and her mind. Her heart told her to run to the house this very minute, bang on their door and demand her child. But her head told her that the Wainwrights could give her son everything that she could not. And, most important of all, Kathy had seen for herself the love that Mrs Wainwright had for the baby boy. He would be cared for and cosseted and loved. He would have a legitimate name, not some vile insult called after him in the playground. Her head won. Slowly she said, ‘No, I can’t. I can’t do that to him. He deserves better than I can give him. And besides, it’s too late. That woman loves him, really loves him. How can I do that to her now?’

‘But he’s your child. You’re his mother. He should be with you,’ Amy persisted.

Kathy closed her eyes and groaned. ‘I know, I know. But he’d carry the stigma of illegitimacy all his life. This way he has a good home with people who love him and can give him everything.’

Softly Amy said, ‘But you love him, don’t you?’

‘Of course I do,’ Kathy cried out so loudly that one or two nearby glanced round at her. She turned her face away to hide her tears. ‘Of course I do,’ she whispered again. ‘And that’s why I know it’s the right thing that he should stay where he is. Oh, it wasn’t done in the right way. Those people at the home – there should be a law against what they’re doing – but in the end, what choice do I really have?’

‘You could come home and marry Morry,’ Amy said simply.

Kathy went with them to the bus. Amy hugged her as they parted. ‘If you change your mind, you know where we still live and Morry won’t ever change his.’

Amy’s words did nothing to ease Kathy’s conscience over Morry, yet she knew she was right not to give in. A one-sided marriage was no marriage at all. And she was too fond of Morry to do that to him, even if, at the moment, he might think otherwise.

‘Won’t you at least come home for Christmas? I’ve been really lucky; I’ve got a seventy-two. We could go together.’

‘I—’ For a moment Kathy was very tempted. She yearned to be enveloped in the loving Robinson family. ‘I can’t,’ she said at last and her tone was full of regret. ‘I have to work.’

Amy pulled a face, hugged her swiftly one last time and climbed aboard the bus. She was still waving from the back seat as it drew away.

Kathy walked back to her lodgings feeling a turmoil of emotion. Seeing Amy had been wonderful and yet it left her with a strange feeling of unrest.

‘I must move on,’ she murmured aloud as she walked home through the blacked-out streets, with only a thin pencil line of a torchlight to guide her. ‘Go somewhere else. Now Amy has found me, I’ll have the whole Robinson clan down on me.’ And yet she couldn’t drag herself away from the place where her son lived. Though she couldn’t see him, couldn’t hold him, she did feel close to him. She could stand outside the gate and look up at the windows and imagine him in his cot or lying on a rug in front of the fire, while Mrs Wainwright knelt beside him, playing with him, caressing him with adoring eyes.

But the days passed and no one came. She saw Amy briefly now and again, until on one meeting in the pub in late March after Kathy had finished her duty, Amy said, ‘I’ve been posted down south. I’ve a week’s leave before I go, so I’m going home. Do – do you still want me to keep quiet about where you are?’

Kathy raised her eyebrows, surprised that her loquacious friend had kept her secret thus far. But then she remembered. Despite giving the opposite impression, Amy was really very good at keeping secrets. Kathy nodded. ‘I don’t expect you to lie for me if anyone asks you straight out, but unless they do, yes, I’d prefer that no one knows.’

‘Okay,’ Amy nodded. ‘I don’t suppose they’ll think to ask me anyway. But . . .’ she bit her lip and looked awkwardly at Kathy.

‘What? What is it?’

‘Well, there is some news. Not good, I’m afraid.’

‘Is it – is it my mam?’

‘No, no, not that. They’re fine, at least – ’ Amy pulled a face – ‘as fine as they’ll ever be.’

Kathy smiled weakly. But she could see from Amy’s worried expression that the news had something to do with her.

‘Tell me.’

‘Aunt Jemima told us. She only heard quite recently and Mum’s written to tell me. But, of course, she didn’t realize that I often see you.’ Amy took a deep breath and took hold of both Kathy’s hands, gripping them tightly. ‘You know that Tony went to train to be a fighter pilot?’

Kathy nodded, her heart beating painfully. She almost knew what was coming before Amy said the words. ‘It seems he was involved in the Battle of Britain. You know, all that fighting that went on in the south and over the Channel last autumn?’

‘I – I’ve heard about it, though at the time . . .’ Kathy’s voice faded away and she shuddered as she remembered being shut up behind the grim walls of Willow House, cut off in shame from the world outside and everything that was happening. She began to tremble. She couldn’t speak, could hardly breathe.

‘He – he was shot down and – he was posted missing, presumed killed.’

The room seemed to spin. Kathy clutched at the table, her hands pulling free of Amy’s grasp as she felt herself falling sideways. She knew no more until she opened her eyes to see Amy’s face bending over her, chafing her hand.

‘She’s coming round,’ a strange voice said. ‘Don’t let her get up too quickly though. There, steadily does it.’

‘Can we help?’ said a man’s voice and Kathy found herself lifted bodily from the floor by two sailors and placed gently on the chair where she’d been sitting.

‘Can I get you anything?’ one asked.

‘Thank you, she’ll be fine now. I – I just had to give her some bad news.’

The fresh-faced young man grimaced. ‘Tell me about it. Well, if you’re sure you’re all right . . .’

‘We’re fine, but thanks for your help.’

‘Don’t mention it.’ He laid his hand gently on Kathy’s shoulder. ‘Hope you’ll be all right, miss.’

Kathy murmured her thanks. Her head was still woolly as the landlord of the pub arrived at the table. ‘Here, miss, drink this brandy. It’ll help. On the house, love,’ he said to Amy as she offered to pay.

Kathy sipped the liquid and colour came back into her cheeks.

‘Are you going to be all right?’ Amy said anxiously. ‘Because I daren’t miss the bus.’

‘I’ll be fine in a minute. It was – it was just the shock.’

They sat a few moments longer in silence, neither knowing what to say now, until Amy was obliged to say, ‘I’ll have to go.’

‘Yes, yes. I know. I’ll be all right. Honestly.’

Amy kissed her. ‘This is “au revoir” for the moment then. Take care of yourself, and I’m so sorry I had to break such news to you, but – but I thought you should know.’

‘Of course,’ Kathy said flatly.

All hope was gone now. Any dreams she might have had that one day she would meet Tony again were blown away by those few words. ‘Missing, presumed killed.’

But even amid her own sorrow, Kathy spared a thought for Beatrice Kendall.

It was the first time she’d felt any sympathy for the woman. Now that she had given birth to her own son, and lost him, she understood the devastation Tony’s mother would be feeling.

Thirty

After she knew Amy had gone, Kathy felt even more bereft than ever. And to be left with such heartbreaking news, too, was almost too much to bear. The days now passed in a blur. Kathy was hardly aware of what she was doing. She did her job but she couldn’t even force the cheery smile she always plastered on her face. Before she knew it, it was spring and Saltershaven was flooded with personnel from the RAF training centre that had been set up in the town.

One Sunday evening towards the end of April, when there was a live show on the stage of the cinema instead of a film, several airmen came to the cinema, laughing and joking and flirting with any girl in sight.

Kathy looked at them with bitterness. Why should they be alive when Tony was dead? Immediately she felt guilty.

‘Cheer up, love, it’ll never happen,’ said one cheery young man. He looked no more than a boy, Kathy thought. He looked as if he shouldn’t be out of short trousers yet, never mind flying off to face the enemy.

Now, for the first time since Amy had told her the awful news, Kathy’s smile was genuine as she said huskily, ‘Not with you brave boys defending us, it won’t. Good luck to you.’

The young man’s face sobered for a moment and then he nodded and said, ‘Thanks, but tonight, we’ve got a night off. We’re looking forward to this. Have you seen the show before?’

Kathy shook her head. ‘No. It’s the first time this particular concert party’s been here.’

‘I hear they’re from Lincoln?’

‘Really?’ Kathy glanced down at the programme she held in her hand. So lost had she been in her own private grief that she hadn’t really taken in the name of the concert party appearing tonight. But now she saw the name on the programme she gave a gasp of delight. ‘The Lindum Lovelies’ bring you
Sing As We Go
, a musical extravaganza of laughter and song,’ she murmured aloud. ‘Of course! I should have known.’

The lights began to dim as she showed the young man into his seat. Then, taking her own seat at the back, Kathy looked eagerly towards the stage, wondering if there would be anyone among the artistes whom she might recognize. And there was. The very first person to come on to the stage as compère for the evening was none other than Ron Spencer.

He stepped up to the microphone and spread his arms wide. ‘Ladies and gentlemen, welcome one and all . . .’

Kathy smiled in the darkness and sat back to enjoy the show, pushing aside, just for a couple of hours, the sadness in her heart. But it was not quite what she had expected. Knowing Ron, she had anticipated a programme of choral works, but instead it was more like a music-hall revue. Then she remembered the plans that they’d had just before she’d left so hurriedly. This is exactly what they’d planned. She smiled in the darkness, thrilled that it had all come about just as they’d hoped.

The young comedian, with a pencil-line moustache and a garish suit, shamelessly impersonated the great Max Miller, while the girl vocalist sang a medley of favourite songs of the thirties from ‘Roll out the Barrel’ to ‘Smoke Gets in Your Eyes’. But throughout her performance, Kathy couldn’t help wincing. The girl, Melody Miles, though pretty and vivacious and attracting whistles and catcalls from the young men in the audience, could hardly sing in tune. The three dancers, with long shapely legs, were a definite hit with the audience and were seen in various guises in the comedy sketches, as too was Melody. And in two of the sketches, Kathy spotted Martin Montgomery. What a good actor he was, she thought in admiration. They all were, and Melody was a much better actress than she was a vocalist. Her comic timing was perfect and the audience’s laughter threatened to damage the roof far more than any bomb!