Singing Heart (29 page)

“
Not tonight. Please…I want to be in familiar surrounding the first time.”

He grinned. “The first time? Does this mean you aren’t going to feign bridal jitters and ask me to sleep on the floor?”

She giggled at his teasing prodding his shoulder to be put down. He obliged following her tiny form to the loft. As she held up her skirts to climb up Sean reached up and did something he had longed to do for months. He reached under her skirt running his large palm sensually from her narrow ankles all the way up to the rounded curves of her behind stroking slowly with his breath coming in short rasps of excitement.

She gasped. It was scandalous. She was about to scold him when she realized he had every right to touch her that way now. They reached the top rung of the ladder and he caught her to him ravishing her lips hungrily. His hands were busy untying, unlacing as his lips held her captive and his tongue darted in and out of it’s sweet recesses evoking feelings she had never known existed before. She panted eyes wide as saucers with wonder when he lay her on the bed in nothing but her camisole. She hadn’t had time to even feel shy he had undressed her so expertly. He lifted his head to look admiringly as he slowly undid the strings that held that filmy material together exposing the creamy smooth skin underneath.

She was so gorgeous he could barely contain himself. He tortured them both revealing one luscious inch of milky white skin at a time until she lay beside him totally exposed and vulnerable. He sucked in his breath. She was exquisite. So perfectly formed. From the tip of her dainty pink toes, the flat belly and diminutive waistline to the round full mounds tipped by pink elongated nipples ripe for a man’s mouth.

She emitted the intoxicating scent of roses. He buried his face in her neck inhaling deeply relishing in the baby soft skin and curtain of dark ringlets that spread across the pillow. He couldn’t get enough of her. She was flushed suddenly shy and a little frightened. He could tell she was as aroused as he was by the way she was breathing yet he felt her hesitation saw the fear in her glazed eyes.

“
Just relax sugar. I won’t ever hurt you. I’ll be a good husband to you.” He grinned teasingly repeating the words he’d said to her years ago aboard the ship that had brought them west.

He whispered his love in her ear kissing her tantalizingly. Then he leaned over and blew out the candle, undressing himself hurriedly. His skin next to hers was hot satiny smooth. He gave her all the time in the world. Let her get used to his proximity tentatively exploring his masculinity while he gently stroked her from head to toe. Sean encouraged her to touch him moaning with pleasure when she complied. His fingers gradually worked down towards her most intimate parts and he spend a long time arousing her until she was arching to meet his touch and panting with excitement.

She was wet. Her body was ready for him and he was so aroused himself it was almost painful. He moved above her cradling the back of her delicate neck in his powerful hands kissing her deeply tasting her lips. Delving even deeper exploring the inner recesses while flicking his tongue against the roof of her mouth he teased the sensitive corners of her lips. He stayed like that for some time easing her into her arms letting her get used to him. He wanted it to be good for her too. For her to give without fear or holding back. He knew she cared for him but he wasn’t stupid enough to believe she was in love with him. She had married him because she was tired of being alone. He could live with that. For now. He hoped that once they became lovers she would feel different.

He felt her tense when he pressed his manhood against her seeking entry at last. He soothed her coaxing her to relax.

“It’s only me…It won’t hurt. If it does…just tell me. I’ll stop. I promise.”

He seemed so huge. Hard. Foreign to her insides. It didn’t hurt. Only scared her. He barely moved rocking gently until she began to feel the heat build. She moved instinctively urging him to speed up to assuage the ache that was growing stronger inside of her. He chuckled throatily and she gasped as he held her pulling her body upward to meet his thrust. He went even deeper and faster.

“
Is this what you want?” he rasped. “It’s what I want too. Do you want more?” She couldn’t speak moaning in ecstasy.

He began taking longer strokes as she reached even higher peaks. They both soared together towards their climax clinging to each other riding higher and higher until they both plunged over the edge. Sean fell on his elbows supporting their combined weights trying not to crush her underneath him too exhausted to move. Still captured in her body their legs tangled intimately he bent his head and kissed her passionately. She wound slim arms around his neck deepening her response to his kiss.

“
Your so beautiful.” He whispered.

“
So are you.” she smiled. She could just make out his features in the moonlight that wafted through the rafters. He looked different somehow. She hadn’t even realized how much his face had changed the past year. His cheekbones were more prominent and his eyebrows seemed bushier. He had just turned 18 this year. For the first time since they met she didn’t feel an age difference. She was simply a woman in the arms the man she cared for and would spend the rest of her life with.

It was too late to go to sleep so they lay in the dark talking. Planning for their future. When dawn came they dressed and began gathering up things they would take to their new home. She asked if he would take her into town to stock up on supplies. Theirs were dwindling rapidly and she didn’t want to move out and take what little was left from Jeb and Robert. They would have to either learn to fend for themselves or walk to her house from now on. She hoped they would keep their house in order now that she had gotten it in shape and trained them to pick up after themselves.

She and Sean spent most of the morning going back and forth with the wagon. Their new home was even more impressive in the light of day than she remembered from the night before. She felt like she was living in a dream world. If she was she didn’t ever want to wake up.

Chapter Eleven

They fell into a happy routine the next few weeks. She insisted that the men clean up before coming in to her house and now that she felt she had some say in the matter that they should pray before each meal. She served Sean at the head of the table with Jeb and Robert on either side. Xzan sat at the other end of the table the way her mother had when she was growing up. If the men resented having to learn manners they kept it to themselves undoubtedly aware that if they offended her they wouldn’t have a home cooked meal. Jeb and Robert never balked at the ten-minute walk each evening to get there and they were getting quite proficient at washing up.

Now that she had modern conveniences to aid in preparing the meals the fare grew even more delicious. Xzan experimented with breads, rolls and different ways of preparing the meat and vegetables. She had kept the house spotless taking care of each piece of furniture like it was extremely fragile. It was priceless. Irreplaceable. She still had money that would be spent for the rest of their lives and their children. What was there had to last for the years that drought or hardships prevented them from sowing the land.

They were also thinking about taking on some extra hands to help get the crops started for next year. Extra mouths to feed, laundry to do and messes for her to clean but it would help her husband get the start he needed to make the farm productive. It was still a few months before they had to worry about that. Winter was setting in full force now. They wouldn’t even be able to go in to town for supplies soon. She had made a huge list last week with everything she could think of on it. Spices, sugar, flour, salt. Even a butter churn. Hers had worn out and she longed to be able to make butter, cheese, buttermilk, sour cream and cottage cheese curds to add to the flavor of their meals.

She had Sean purchase a few chickens and a rooster so they could produce fresh eggs for themselves and a cow, which she promised to milk herself. Another list which he hadn’t been allowed to read was handed to Mrs. Golden the mercantile owner’s wife. The contents of that box had been wrapped and she had the packages hidden in her room to make Christmas presents. Sean figured he’d get a shirt like the one she made him a few years ago. A different color of course. He still had that shirt even though he couldn’t wear it anymore. The sleeves weren’t too long now but the rest of the shirt was way too small. He would never part with it.

Whatever she had ordered had taken two large crates. He didn’t even know how much it cost. The money she’s sent had been sealed in an envelope and the change was returned in the same manner. Christmas was 25 days away. The one thing Xzan’s money hadn’t paid for was the piano. He had spent all but the last 11 dollars he had to his name for it. Nor would he ever tell her the exorbitant amount he had paid to transport it out west. She would have been horrified.

If he hadn’t won the money gambling there was no way he could have afforded it in a lifetime. She kept telling him not to give her anything for Christmas. The house and its contents were too much already. He had ideas of his own. There were several items he was determined to give her. The question was how to find them. He’d already looked in Angel City. There wasn’t enough time to mail order before Christmas. He’d just have to keep looking around.

She still felt apprehensive every time they made love. He didn’t approach her as often as he would have like to respectful of her emotional turmoil. Many nights he just held her showing how much he loved her getting her used to being close physically in a way she could feel safe and protected. If he did reach out she seemed tense not really in the mood. He fondled her then backed off until he was sure she felt good about it. Tonight they had started tickling each other on her bed upstairs and she ran squealing through the corridors darting down the stairs two at a time, skirts held high showing off her trim ankles.

He’s captured her in the dining room proceeding to pull up her frock having his way with her, while they were still laughing right on top of the table. Once they were done she straightened her clothing chortling

“
Dinner will never be the same again.”

He grinned. “Neither will the table.” It was true. They had left several ugly scratches. Probably from her shoes. She rushed over worriedly to investigate. Sean waylaid her capturing her in his arms.

“
Don’t let it ruin the moment, Xzan. The table will get old and dented no matter how well you take care of it. We’ll throw a cloth over it when we have to. For now every time we sit at it we’ll remember this moment when we made love. That is the joy of living and being a family.”

*****

Milking Gertrude every day turned out to be almost more of a problem than it was worth. Xzan had milked cows before. Knew not to squeeze too hard or to sit on the wrong side. She had even tried carrying a hot brick to warm her hands so the poor cow wouldn’t be shocked when she grasped its udders. But no matter how gently or patiently she tried the huge creature mooed in misery trying to get away. She had to be milked so Xzan would persist with half the contents of the pail ending up being spilled before she made it back to the house.

She didn’t know what to do about the situation. She treated the animal the way she treated every creature she came in contact with truly concerned for it’s well being always seeing that it was well tended. She talked to it soothingly. One morning she even tried singing to it. Gertrude only bellowed louder. Xzan hated to lose money on the animal or to destroy it. The whole purpose of having a cow was to make life more pleasant for all of them. As it was she didn’t even get enough milk to make the things she wanted it for. It cost money to take care of the beast to boot.

She didn’t bother Sean with her dilemma immediately. Stubborn as Gertrude she was determined to overcome the obstacle herself if it killed her. She just wished she knew what the problem was. Until one morning she came storming in covered in milk. The cow had won. She gave up marching past her handsome husband whose mouth had dropped open incredulously. He roared with laughter as she glared at him from the stairwell.

“
Get me another cow!” she spat too furious to embellish any further.

He put on his hat heading for the barn still chuckling to himself. The cow looked at him with its huge brown eyes pitifully unhappy. He couldn’t figure out what his wife was upset about. Because when he sat down and tried his hand at it he got another half of a bucket of milk that Xzan had missed.

He placed it on the sideboard with a piece of cloth over it to keep out the varmints and went in search of his distraught bride. When she saw the milk a few minutes later she was so furious she could have spat nails.

“
Wait until the morning! You can come and see how that hussy acts when I try to milk her!”

Sean reached out to hug her soothingly. “Now Sweetheart, it can’t be that bad. You’ve been milking her before today.”