Singing Heart (5 page)

*****

The children awoke gloomily on Christmas day. Not expecting any festivities they lingered in bed staving off the cold under warm quilts preferring to remain in slumber rather than face the depression of the holiday.

Their big sister had other plans for them. Xzan had stayed up late last night then risen early this morning to prepare her surprises. Lady Miller as promised had given her the same annual bonus as her other staff for their devoted services. The basket Cook had placed in Xzan’s hands as she left last night was full of nuts, fruits, sweets, cookies and scones. In addition were a few cinnamon sticks and a huge block of cheese and chocolate.

Xzan had hidden the basket in the pantry sharing her secret only with Mammy. After the children were asleep she had crept back downstairs to stuff all the stockings over the fireplace. Including the adults who enjoyed treats just as much as the younger generation.

Mammy had helped her make the spiced tea she was now carrying on a wooden tray. The cinnamon had been used to stir it. It smelled heavenly. All of the children were gathered outside of their parent’s bedroom door. Hopping anxiously up and down on the cold floor shivering, longing for the cozy warmth of their beds.

“
Hush!” Xzan admonished severely. “Think about someone else besides yourselves for a change.”

Todd knocked at her command. Mama stood in the portal swaying sleepily her face lighting in a tremulous smile when she saw all of her children’s faces beaming at her joyfully.

“
Why is it Christmas already?”

“
Merry Christmas Mama!” They chortled merrily.

“
Paul wake up! It’s Christmas! Our children have brought us a gift!”

Rebecca disappeared behind the closed door. None of her children had ever been allowed a glimpse of their parent’s private domain. She came back shortly with a bleary eyed Papa. He yawned loudly scratching his stomach.

“
What’s this? My…my… what have you done? This smells wonderful!” he bragged, winking at his oldest.

He knew exactly where it must have come from. He had never been so pleased with Xzan as he was at this moment for her unselfishness.

“
Brrr…it’s cold. Let’s go down to the parlor so we can thaw out by the fire.”

Children scattered racing down the hallway needing no further urging. Laughed shrilly pushing each other as Paul yelled for them to be careful on the stairwell. Xzan carried the tea tray lingering behind with her parents. She wanted to see their faces as much as her brothers and sisters when they opened their stockings.

Happy laughter heralded her surprise before they reached the room. But to her astonishment instead of devouring stockings they were looking through packages under the tree.

“
Merry Christmas!” Mama and Papa shouted above the din.

It was a miracle. Somehow Mama and Papa had found a way to celebrate the holiday. When the presents were unwrapped Xzan discovered what had been sacrificed. Mama had made each of her daughters a doll. Her’s was exquisite with black yarn hair and embroidered blue eyes like her own. Xzan recognized the material the elaborate dress and bonnet were made from. Mama’s favorite seldom worn rose silk gown. All of the dolls had similar outfits but each was fashioned to look like its owner. Papa had carved boat for the boys which sported crisp starched white sails.

“
She’s beautiful Mama!” Xzan exclaimed throwing herself into her mother’s arms. “But you shouldn’t have used your dress…”

Mama stopped her words with a slender finger across her lips.

“
Shh. I love you. Nothing means more to me than my children… except,” she winked flirtatiously at her husband, “Papa of course.”

He wrapped his arms around her tweaking her bosom playfully. She blushed shooing his hand away.

“
Paul not in front of the children!”

It was the best Christmas they ever had even though they had known more elaborate holidays. The handmade presents, sweets, even the humble potato pie and corn cakes for dinner were the best of all because love was the miracle that they celebrated that year. They sang carols gathered around the piano as Mama played. Her sweet soprano led them while Papa harmonized slightly off-key in his tenor. The children followed suit mixing up the words making up the ones they didn’t know by heart. The effect was poignant.

Xzan knew it was a holiday she would never forget. She held baby Dawn in her arms. An incredible sense of joy filled her heart so full she believed she would never feel anything quite so wonderful again and she longed to hold on to it forever.

Chapter Two

Grannie Winslow sold all her jewels retaining only her beloved wedding ring. Mama sacrificed her precious heirlooms. Treasures that had been stored in the attic all these years safe from prying, bumbling fingers. Xzan continued working as needed for Mrs. Miller. It wasn’t lucrative but every little bit helped. Sporadically the generous lady would send home treats for the family. Leftover pies or meats. Raiment her own household had outgrown or was tired of.

Papa found a station at long last in the new bank that opened in town. It wasn’t the prestigious position he’d held previously in that field and he had to toil longer hours but they didn’t have to sell their farm after all.  Paul came bounding up the front steps early one afternoon. Spinning his spouse around gleefully and carrying her into the house he slammed the library door shut with his foot against inquisitive ears. Rebecca giggled breathlessly as he lowered her to her feet swaying dizzily as she tried to recover her balance. Her husband steadied her grinning.

“
I feel like a new man! I can’t wait to tell you all about it.”

Rebecca sat on the green velvet sofa by the bay windows patting a spot invitingly next to her.

“
I can’t wait to hear it.”

He reclined pulling her close toying with her wedding band. It was a nervous habit when he was jittery about something momentous.

“
There’s a client at the bank…I supervise all his transactions. He’s quite wealthy. We’ve gotten to be chums over the past few months. His name is Nicolas Colby.”

Paul twisted her ring tightening his clasp of her hand continuing.

“
We were conferring today. It appears Nicolas is interested in financing a shipping venture. He’s predisposed to take a chance on me since I’ve had prior qualifications and he knows I’m scrupulous.”

Rebecca gasped knowing it was Paul’s aspiration to try again. But he’d never had the capital to back him since the Becky sank. This was a miracle!

“
Does he know about our ship?” she asked eagerly.

“
Yes… like he said though… we had four good years with no problems. If this is a success we both stand to make a fortune. I could buy another ship then use the money to reinvest. We might be well off in a few years.”

Rebecca hugged him exuberantly.

“
That’s wonderful, Darling! When does he want to make the arrangements?”

Paul tensed releasing her abruptly rising to pace. Running a bony hand through his receding hairline his voice deepened anxiously.

“
Straight away. There’s only one dilemma. Nicolas is a businessman. He expects some sort of guarantee. He wants our farm as collateral.

“
You can’t be serious! He expects you to stake everything and he’ll hazard nothing. He’s already rich. That’s not fair.”

“
I’m afraid it’s laudable business sense Becca. As much as I maintain it would be fine there is still the potentiality it might be… a disaster. I can’t take that gamble unless you’re willing to take it too.”

He peered at her intently. She yearned between wanting to back him show him she believed in him and pointing out the ruination if it failed. He saw the conflicting sentiments on her fragile countenance. Knew she was warring internally. Ultimately her expression cleared. She set her chin stubbornly beautiful eyes flashing defiantly.

“
I believe in you Paul. I have from the first moment we met. I have never regretted taking a chance on you in the past and I will continue risking all to go forward with you in the future. I can’t influence the elements or pirates. But if you’re confident it is a risk worth taking… I’ll endorse you for better or worse.”

She rushed into his arms clinging, praying she had made the right decision. Like her husband she longed for so much more for their dynasty. Paramount above all else to see that the light shining in his eyes today remained forever. He had been defeated too long. Rebecca couldn’t condemn him to remain empty until his dying day.

*****

Before the contract was signed Nicolas Colby died of a lung ailment. Papa sealed himself in the study for two days when he received the communique. He was inconsolable. Not only for the unforeseen demise of his friend but his dreams as well. There would never be another chance such as this one.

On the fifth morning Rebecca shaking from nerves distressed and depleted, lost her temper. Marching up to the locked door she pounded it furiously.

“
Paul Edgar Winslow… open this door immediately! I will not allow you to ignore this family one more day while wallowing in self-pity!”

Paul opened the door stunned. In fifteen years of matrimony he’d never heard his wife raise her voice to him and rarely to the children. In fact he’d barely ever even seen her riled. His disheveled visage was almost her undoing. Sorrel whiskers had sprouted under his chin. His eyes were puffy from either want of sleep, crying or imbibing in too much spirits. His roan suit was rumpled and he reeked of stale cigar fumes. She remained inflexible despite the fact that her heart melted when she saw how devastated he still felt.

“
Breakfast is ready. I expect you to join us there. You need to eat. The children and I don’t understand why you have rejected us all.”

With that she turned as majestically as a queen head held regally and was gone with a swish of pink silk. Paul joined his family for breakfast. Afterward he cleaned up, dressed and went to work. He didn’t lock himself away anymore but was like a condemned man serving a prison sentence. Never smiling, mumbling a riposte when spoken to. After several weeks the whole family became moody and dejected. Snapping irritably. The littlest children cried and griped incessantly till Rebecca was ready to pull her hair out in frustration. Then Papa came home one evening smiling and bringing a guest. He introduced his family jovially to the stranger.

“
Everyone this is Mr. Colby’s son… Brett. Brett… I’d like for you to meet my mother…Edwina Winslow.”

Grannie ogled the young man shrewdly. He was an attractive devil. His dress was impeccable. Dove gray trousers with a matching vest and jacket. An immaculate blue ruffled dress shirt and knee high black boots polished to a spit shine. Intelligent eyes converged with hers undaunted. Bowing over her wizened hand he chivalrously murmured, “Enchanted, I’m sure.”

In turn the raven-haired man was introduced to each member of the Winslow family. Dispassionately charming to every female down to two- year-old Dawn. Brett shook the boys hands in a manly fashion feigning their grips were so strong it wounded his hand.

Infrequently having visitors and never one so captivating as Brett they all bubbled over with enthusiasm making for a stimulating evening. Mammy twittered like a schoolgirl when Brett flattered her over dinner praising her culinary skills. Xzan’s mouth dropped open when she observed the woman positively simpering and batting her eyelashes at the man coquettishly.

Mama though utterly devoted to Papa had a sparkle about her facade as well. Star and Twilight now nine, identical blondes with Papa’s emerald eyes, stood on either side of the gentleman heeding his every word in adoration. Dawn sat perched on his knee gazing worship-fully up into his lissome face innocently delighted to have the closest proximity.

Xzan was as impressed as the rest of her family. Brett Colby was the most striking man she’d ever seen. To a fourteen-year-old girl who had blossomed promisingly early in life and was old enough to be courted, Brett aroused a certain physical fascination despite the fact he was nearly as elderly as Papa.

“
Xzan your father tells me you play the piano by ear… have in fact composed some of your own music.”

She blushed with his attention riveted on her. She was sitting between her parents her feet daintily together with her back ramrod straight as Mama had taught her. Adorned in a light blue silk her first full length dress, one Mama had helped her fashion from some of Mrs. Miller’s hand-me-downs, she felt very mature indeed. With dark hair caught up in a matching bow falling into a riot of curls over her shoulders Xzan was an arresting picture of loveliness. She lowered ebony lashes shyly looking down at her fingers stammering with embarrassment.

“
I…I…I… don’t know how others…perceive my music… however I do enjoy playing… immensely.”