Single Wide Female: The Bucket List Mega Bundle - 24 Books (Books #1-24) (25 page)

After I’d gone over what I’d written about myself for the thousandth time in my head, my mind began to wander to who might be looking at my picture. I wasn’t terribly worried about the stalkers and weirdos that Max had warned me about. However, it struck me that I really had no idea who I wanted looking at my profile.

Who was my dream man? Of course my first thought was Max. He had been my go-to fantasy guy for a long time. But lately I had been trying to nip that in the bud. Max wasn’t interested in me that way, and I didn’t want to be with someone that I had to wait for. So if not Max, then who?

As I rolled over in my bed my mind filled with flickers of faces I had found attractive in the past. I really enjoyed dark-colored eyes—whether dark brown, dark green, or dark blue—there was something mysterious and intriguing to me about the deeper shades.

Then of course there was the hair. I was a bit of a hair addict. I really enjoyed men with luxurious hair, no matter the color. I even liked hippie-style hair. But the more I thought about all of these physical qualities that I might like in a man, the more I realized that they didn’t really matter to me.

A man could have every physical attribute that I was looking for, but if he couldn’t make me laugh—if he didn’t share my light-hearted optimistic view on life, I wouldn’t want to be with him. As I fell asleep my mind was still scattered with thoughts of the good and bad qualities I might discover in a man.

“Samantha. Samantha,” he said.

I opened my eyes and found myself looking into the most beautiful deep brown eyes I had ever seen. I had no idea who they belonged to. Whoever it was also had full soft lips that were only a few inches from my own. My heart dropped. Who the heck was lying next to me in my bed?

“Don’t be scared,” he said.

“Who are you?” I asked.

“Don’t you think the world would be a better place if we didn’t ask so many questions?”

“Why are you here?”

“I got kicked out of my Mom’s basement,” he said.

“What?” I sat up in bed and stared at him with disbelief. He had the perfect chest, which just happened to be bare. His hair was long and slightly wavy. He looked like he could have been straight off of the cover of a romance novel. “Who are you?”

“I’m yours, Sammy,” he said. Suddenly his voice was Max’s voice.

I felt as if I was losing my grip on reality.

“Oops—sorry, I have to go. I’m meeting my third wife and three kids at a comic book convention. Could you please walk the dog while I’m out? And make sure that you put his shoes on, because you never know what might be on the sidewalk.”

He climbed out of bed. I stared at his completely naked body as he walked away.

“Samantha? Sammy? Are you going to walk the dog or not?” he asked.

Suddenly I felt a long lick on my cheek. I shrieked as I discovered a giant Saint Bernard lapping at my neck and ear.

I hit the floor with a hard thump. My legs were tangled up in my sheet. My head was spinning as I fought my way out of the sheet. The bedroom was dark. I looked around for the dog, or the strange man that had declared he was mine. My bedroom was empty, aside from me on the floor.

It was a dream. A stupid, weird, dream.

I crawled back up into bed, my heart still pounding. It was a wild dream and I just hoped it wouldn’t become reality.

Chapter 4

The incessant sound of my alarm jerked me out of my sleep. Pressure spread from one temple to the other as I lifted my head off the pillow. I wondered if I had done more damage by falling out of the bed the night before than I realized. With a light smack of my palm I shut the alarm off. With a big yawn, I stretched out my body beneath the warmth of my blanket.

As the fog of sleep finally began to lift, I remembered publishing my profile the day before. My computer was beckoning to me from my desk. Still wrapped up in my blanket I shuffled over to it and checked to see if I had any responses. A cheerful red flag waved above my profile name along with the number three.

“Wow, three?”

I smiled as I checked the responses. The first was from a man who was about ten years older than me. I didn’t mind that so much. He had rugged features and was looking for a commitment. I liked that idea. The next was from a man who was a sports fan. He had a baseball cap tugged down over his head and a bright smile. I found him endearing right away. The third was from a black-leather-jacket-wearing biker guy that had a very appealing dangerous glint in his eye.

Each one had requested a date. I was thrilled. At first. Then the computer began beeping over and over again. With each new alert of a message coming through, my heart jumped. All of these men had seen my profile? All of these men wanted to contact me for a date?

The idea made my head swim with a multitude of emotions. Most of all, it was overwhelming. I certainly couldn’t date all of them. How would I ever choose who to say yes to? As the beeping continued I snatched up my phone. I dialed Kat’s number without even thinking about how early in the morning it was.

“Who is this and why shouldn’t I murder you for waking me up?” Kat asked.

“Kat, I’m freaking out,” I said. I paced a little more quickly back and forth in front of my computer. I glanced at the time and frowned. “Sorry if I woke you up.”

“Okay, why are you freaking out?” Kat asked. She still sounded irritated and sleepy.

“I’ve gotten a ton of responses and I’m not sure what to do,” I said. “I don’t even know who these men are. Why are they contacting me? What did you add to my profile?”

“I think that you need to calm down,” Kat said. I could hear the amusement in her voice. “I didn’t add anything to your profile that you didn’t want in there. It’s just that you are a very desirable woman and these men can’t wait to meet you. Just take a breath and chill out. This is a good thing.”

“I’m trying to—I just don’t know what to do. Every time I look at one picture there’s another beep and another picture. They’re even coming through on my phone now. Can you please come over here and help me, Kat? Please?”

“Alright, I’ll be there in a few minutes,” Kat said. “Don’t respond to anyone until I get there. With the way you’re freaking out you’re going to scare those guys off before you ever get a chance to go on a date.”

“Thanks for the vote of confidence.” I hung up the phone and sat back down in front of the computer. As I was sorting through some of the pictures of the men who had responded, I started feeling pretty good. These men were good-looking, successful—and best of all—interested in me. It was pretty exciting until I came across a picture of a man with spikes coming out of his forehead and more lip rings than he had lips.

“Wow,” I said. “This might be a little scary.”

I heard a knock on the door and, expecting it to be Kat, I hurried over and opened it, still in my pajamas, with my bed hair. Max stood outside the door. He looked a little surprised.

“Max! What are you doing here?” I reached up to check my chin for drool. Luckily I didn’t find any dried-up saliva.

“Listen, I feel like I owe you an apology. You seemed upset last night and—”

“Let me through, there’s important work to be done here,” Kat said. She pushed past Max and headed straight for the computer.

“Important work?” Max asked.

“I got some replies to my profile,” I said. I adjusted my pajama top, hoping that it would hide the fact that I had not bothered to put a bra on.

“Sixty!” Kat said. “She’s got sixty and counting.”

“Sixty?” Max asked. “Who are these guys? Just random Internet trolls?”

“Are you trying to say that only trolls would be interested in me?” I asked.

“That’s not what I’m saying at all,” Max said. The tone of his voice showed that he was getting frustrated. “I just don’t think it’s a good idea to hook up with these random guys—they could be serial killers for all you know!”

“First of all, I’m not hooking up with anyone. Dating doesn’t mean anything more than a shared meal and conversation. Secondly, it’s no different than what you do when you go out to the bar or the club and meet some random woman.”

“It’s completely different!” he said.

“Why, because you’re a man?” Kat asked. She shook her head and tapped away at the keyboard. “Get into the present decade, Max, would you?”

“You’re going to listen to
her
?” Max asked. “What does she know about safety?”

“Max, I think you’re overreacting,” I said. “I’m really excited about this.”

“You’re being foolish.” His eyes had darkened along with his demeanor. “Don’t blame me if you end up locked up in some freak’s basement.”

“You’re not into that are you, Samantha?” Kat asked.

“Definitely not.”

“Okay, well, that will eliminate about fifteen of these guys,” Kat said.

“See?” Max said. The sharpness in his voice was starting to irritate me.

“There are bound to be some not so great guys in the mix,” I said. “That doesn’t mean I shouldn’t try.”

“Fine, but you better be careful.” Max turned and stalked out of the apartment.

Chapter 5

Kat and I looked at one another after Max left.

“I don’t know how you put up with that,” Kat said.

I shook my head. “Well, let’s just get on with it. I’m not going to worry about what Max thinks.”

Kat nodded and brought her attention back to the computer screen. “Okay, I narrowed your selection down to about five.”

“Five? Out of sixty?” I asked. I peered over her shoulder at the options. The guy with the baseball cap was still there.

“Trust me, you want to be picky. Max is right about it being important to be cautious. Besides, when you wake up tomorrow you’ll probably have sixty more.”

“You think?” I asked.

“I know. So let’s respond to these guys,” Kat said.

“Alright, but what do I say? I don’t want to sound like an idiot—you have to help me, Kat.”

“I’m helping, I’m helping. Who do you want to set up a date with?” she asked.

“I don’t know. Who should I?”

“You have to trust your instincts on this one,” Kat said.

“I think the guy with the baseball cap. He seems nice—he has a very nice smile,” I said.

“Alright, I’m sending him a connection request. Do you want to do breakfast, lunch, dinner?” Kat asked.

“I think lunch. Then if it’s a bust, my whole day isn’t wasted. Plus, lunch is not one of those lead-ins that make a date impossible to escape from,” I said.

“Good idea. Okay, I’m requesting a lunch date,” Kat said.

“Now what?” I asked.

“Now you wait for him to agree to the date. Then you can select a location,” she said. “It’s just that simple.”

“Okay.” I stared at the computer intently.

“Well, it may take a little while,” Kat said. She laughed a little. “I’m getting out of here. I need to take a nap, since you woke me up way too early.”

“Thank you for your help.” I was still staring at the computer.

“Good luck,” Kat said.

I didn’t have to wait long before I heard yet another beep. This time it was from the man with the baseball cap. He had accepted my lunch request. I read the message attached to the request.

Meet at Jay’s tomorrow at noon?

Wow, that was fast. I stared at the screen. I wondered if I should wait to reply. Then it struck me—why wait? The whole point was to meet and date someone, so waiting was counterproductive. I knew Jay’s well. It was a local cafe, and I only had the morning shift at the laundromat.

“Sounds good. I’ll see you then,” I sent back.

I smiled as the screen showed two links in a chain joining together. He might not be my Prince Charming, but he was certainly a start. I had a date the next day, which was something I hadn’t been able to say in a long time.

Just when I began to think that I could relax and be happy about having the date, a new anxiety began to creep up. What was I going to wear? How was I going to do my hair? Would he like me in person? Was my picture too flattering? Had Kat sneaked things into my profile that I didn’t know about? With all of this anxiety rolling through me I had to do something to fix it.

Within the span of an hour, every item of clothing that I owned was spread throughout my bedroom. Having a lunch date had made me rethink everything—from my sense of style, to how much skin to reveal, to whether I had time to get my hair done. I was exhausted by the time I sat down on the edge of my bed. I tried to remind myself that the whole point of the bucket list was to gain confidence and be daring. I was so obsessed over what to wear that I couldn’t even enjoy the experience and anticipation of having a date.

“I will be beautiful in whatever I choose,” I said.

This was the lesson I’d been trying to learn throughout my weight-loss journey. No matter what size, no matter what style, I was beautiful just the way I was. It took me just about the rest of the day to get everything back into my closet and organized once more.

I took some time to weed out some clothes that were no longer my style. I also discovered some gems that I’d been too shy to wear. As my figure slimmed I found that my clothes began to fit better, but more than that, I didn’t feel as if I had so much pressure to hide my body from view. It made me sad to think of the times that I wanted to disappear because I felt as if people were judging me for being bigger.

Now I tried my best to own my size. I was discovering that sexy wasn’t about a number or even a shape—it was about confidence. The more I learned about myself, the more I liked myself and the better I felt about how I looked.

I decided to update my blog on my experience with online dating. As I was typing out my latest blog post, I found that spark of excitement again. I wondered about the man I would be meeting and whether he was wondering about me.

Chapter 6

The next day I was glad to have the early shift at Fluff and Stuff. It would keep me from obsessing all morning. When I arrived at the laundromat one of the employees, Enid, was already there.

“Morning, Enid,” I said.

Enid glanced up from the book she was reading. “Morning, Samantha—it’s a slow day.”

“That’s good.”