Single Wide Female: The Bucket List Mega Bundle - 24 Books (Books #1-24) (38 page)

I couldn’t help but laugh. It was fun and exhilarating to be running with Max.

When we made it out of the garden I dared to look over my shoulder. Caleb had been tackled by the handsome usher, Kayla was being consoled by a passel of women and the music was still playing. It was not exactly happily ever after.

As Max and I walked away from the park together, I was secretly relieved that the kiss I’d almost attempted had been interrupted. If Max and I ever were to take that next step, would we end up throwing wine glasses at each other? Would we end up hating each other? I couldn’t imagine ever feeling that way about Max.

“So, have you learned your lesson?” His voice was smug.

“What lesson?”

“That marriage is just a piece of paper,” Max said. “That happy endings are a myth.”

“Not at all,” I said. “Maybe people are too quick to rush into it. There are liars and cheaters all over the place. I wouldn’t marry anyone whose true heart I didn’t know.”

“How do you know if you know someone’s true heart?”

“You just do. They’re the person that you would bet your life on, they’re the person that you are willing to suffer the greatest heartbreak over—if it means you end up together in the end.”

“You’ve been watching romance movies again, haven’t you?” He shook his head with mild disapproval, but when I glanced over at him I noticed a warmth in his expression. Maybe he didn’t agree with me, but he certainly wasn’t being cruel.

“There’s nothing wrong with having a dream,” I said.

We’d reached my apartment and he paused beside me as I unlocked the door.

“I just hate to think that you’re waiting for a Prince Charming.” His voice had grown quiet. I realized there was a lot more going on in his thoughts than he was willing to share with me.

“I’m not waiting,” I said. “I know that it might never happen. I don’t even have a boyfriend and it’s not as if I expect some magical event. I simply won’t be pressured into getting married—just because it’s the thing to do. So, in a way, I’m waiting for that one right person, but I accept that he might never show up—and I’m okay with that too.”

“He’ll show up.” His gaze lingered on me for a moment. “I can’t imagine anyone ever being foolish enough to miss out on a chance with you.”

I smiled a little at his words. They meant so much and at the same time, they were more than ironic. Clueless Max had no idea that he was the only man I ever thought just might be my prince.

“Good night, Max,” I said.

“Good night, Sammy.”

I watched him walk away for a moment and then stepped inside my apartment.

Chapter 10

I looked around at the apartment and smiled to myself. I did like having my own space. As often as I thought about meeting someone wonderful and getting married, sometimes I wondered if it was what I really wanted. At the moment, my apartment was exactly the way I wanted it to be. I could binge-watch television, or practice standing on my head, or just stay in my pajamas all day with no one around to question or judge me. That was a lot to give up.

As I stepped into my bedroom and caught sight of my reflection in the full-length mirror, I knew that I didn’t want to be alone. I wanted someone on my arm, someone who took my breath away and made me feel as if the world spun just for him. I liked the idea of love, even though I was perfectly content with being alone. I stared at my reflection and wondered what it would be like to see someone standing there beside me.

Max was right—the wedding did have an impact on me.

I slipped out of my dress and changed into a nightgown. I hung the dress up on the back of the door to take to Fluff and Stuff to clean. I pulled another dress out from the back of the closet. It was the next size down from the dress I’d just hung up. It was my new motivation.

Losing weight for me had nothing to do with gaining the attention of men. It had everything to do with building my confidence. It was about learning to treat myself with love, to nourish myself correctly—to be proud of who I was, no matter how I looked. Weight loss was just a nice bonus.

After washing off my make-up and brushing my teeth I returned to my bedroom.

I sat down in the middle of my bed. Despite being exhausted—and more than a little bit confused—I knew exactly what I wanted to do next. It was time to let the people who read my blog know what I’d been up to. The wedding had been a good lesson for me and I was looking forward to sharing it.

I logged into my blog and began typing out a new entry. I wanted to describe what it was like to feel that sense of envy for what I worried I might never have. That was a feeling I wanted to let go of once and for all.

I tapped away at my keyboard as my mind filled with thoughts about how the woman’s role in life was defined. We were groomed from a young age to expect marriage and a family. For some women, it took time to come to terms with the fact that they had a choice. They didn’t have to follow in the footsteps of their mothers if they didn’t want to. I had entertained the idea for some time of living a solitary life, or being as playful and detached as Max was. But it wasn’t want I wanted. I knew that now.

After I published my blog, I began surfing the web. I had something new to search for. After the growth I’d experienced that night, I wanted more. I wanted to be bold and brave, as Max had called me.

The next item on my bucket list was one I had added as a complete joke. I never thought I would come close to reaching this point on the list. But now I had. I was going to have to put myself out there yet again and I was going to have to be confident while I did it.

It took a lot of determination to try to work my way onto a movie set, but I was determined that by the end of the week, I’d be an extra in a movie. It would be a nice bonus if it was a romance.

Before I could close my computer, I received an alert of a new comment on my blog. I logged back in. As expected, it was from Blue. I smiled as I imagined what he might have said.

When I clicked on the link to the message I found myself giddy with anticipation. Blue had become one of the highlights of writing my blog, if I was being honest. I’d become a little addicted to his comments. His message was simple and sweet, but for some reason it had a bigger impact on me than usual.

SWF,

Forget the prince. Accept nothing less than a king. Or better yet, forget them both, and wait for me.

Blue

I raised an eyebrow at the message. I liked the king part, but it was the last sentence that had the greatest affect on me. He kept dropping hints about wanting to meet. It seemed crazy to me to want to meet a complete stranger from the Internet. However, Blue didn’t really feel like a stranger any longer. He felt like a good friend who knew me very well—almost as well as Max did. I wished there was a way to simply jump ahead to knowing him in real life. Would I ever be bold enough to take him up on his offer to meet?

As I fell asleep that night, my mind filled with visuals of my wedding. In one, I was marrying the handsome usher, then his very angry maid of honor wife showed up to kill the mood. In the next, I was marrying Max, elated and determined to never let him go. But the moment we said our vows he was wandering off to find something more interesting to do.

The last fantasy—the one I fell into a deep slumber thinking about—was of me marrying a man with bright blue eyes.

Could Blue be my prince—my king—or perhaps
just
the right person for me?

Single Wide Female: The Bucket List

#11 Be a Movie Extra

By

Lillianna Blake

Copyright © 2015 Lillianna Blake

Cover design by
Beetiful Book Covers

All rights reserved.

LilliannaBlake.com

Chapter 1

Today was the day. I smiled as I sipped a cup of coffee. It was a very big step for me. I was not only going to try something new, I was going to put myself in the limelight.

“Hey there. What’s the emergency?” Max sat down across from me at the table.

I looked at him over the top of my coffee mug. Even with messy hair and a simple sweatshirt he managed to look handsome.

“I didn’t say it was an emergency.” I laughed and set down my coffee mug. I waved to the waitress so that she would know there was another order to take.

“You said you had a big announcement. That sounds like an emergency to me.” Max met my eyes across the table. “So spill it.”

“What can I get for you?” the waitress asked.

“Just a coffee—black, with maybe a little milk—maybe a little sugar.” He pinched his fingertips together to show a small amount.

“Okay.” She turned and walked away.

“You know that when you order a coffee black with milk and sugar, you’re actually ordering a coffee with milk and sugar, right?” I tried not to grin.

“A little bit.” He shook his head. “Now stop trying to change the subject. Tell me what you’re up to this time.”

“I’m going to try to land a role as an extra in a movie.” I smiled as his eyes widened.

“You’re doing
what
?” He raised an eyebrow.

The waitress set a mug of coffee down in front of him. Max ignored it, keeping his focus on me.

“I’m going to try to be an extra in a movie.” I took another sip of my coffee to hide the nervous smile on my lips.

“Why would you want to do that?”

“I told you about it almost two weeks ago.”

“You did?” He frowned. “I think I would have remembered that.”

“Well, you were half asleep while we were watching
The Love Bug.
”

“Oh. Well, that doesn’t count then.” He took a sip of his coffee. “So you found a movie to try out for?”

“Yes. It’s shooting locally. I mean—I’m sure there will be tons of people there trying to be extras, so I doubt I will actually get picked.” I shrugged and sat back in my chair.

“Why do you do that?” He leaned forward slightly and met my eyes.

“Do what?”

“Doubt yourself?”

I realized I was in for one of Max’s lectures slash pep talks. He’d been a fantastic source of support for me while I was meandering my way through my journey to becoming a bolder and braver—if not a bit skinnier—woman. However, sometimes his lectures left me more than a little confused. There was always something kind in the way that Max spoke to me, but he didn’t pull any punches when he felt he had a point to get across.

“I’m just being realistic.” I picked up my coffee mug. I hoped that would signal to him that the discussion was settled. Max had a one-track mind, so I wasn’t surprised when he continued on the same topic.

“Why bother doing it if you’re just going to doubt it?” He shook his head. “If you’re going to do this—if it’s what you want, for whatever reason—then you have to go all in. You can’t just show up. You have to show up with a bang.”

“A bang?” I smiled at him. “What do you suggest?”

“I suggest that you show off your sunny personality and make sure that you don’t hide off in some corner.” He wagged his finger at me. “I know you too well, Sammy. Just showing up is not the same as trying out.”

“Maybe you should come with me—to make sure that I try hard enough.”

“I would love to, but I can’t. I have to meet with some friends from work for drinks tonight.” He rolled his eyes as if it were the most tedious task he’d ever been forced to endure.

“What’s the problem with that?”

“There’s nothing wrong with it, but I don’t have a lot in common with these people. I wish work life and private life could just stay separate.”

“Oh, so you’re worried they’re going to discover that outside of work you’re a real ladies’ man?” I grinned at him. He looked away from me with some annoyance before giving in and smiling back.

“Well, the stories that could be told would certainly surprise them all,” he said.

“I only wish I could be there to share those stories with them.”

“You wouldn’t.” He glared at me.

“You know I would.” I laughed and finished the last of my coffee.

“Well, just for that, young lady, I’m going to be hoping all day that you get a part in the movie.” He dropped some cash on the table to cover the coffee and then stood up. “Call me and let me know how it goes, okay?”

“I will.”

Chapter 2

The movie was being shot in a suburb that I’d rarely been to. It took a few wrong turns and the guidance of my GPS to get me in the right area. Once I was close, though, it was easy to find. There were people walking down the sidewalks. Cars were lined up around the block waiting to be parked. I got into the line with the rest, laughing at myself.

“Not a chance that I’m even getting inside.”

I wasn’t disappointed. It was still an experience to try. Just when I was about to give up and turn around, the line of cars began moving along. Soon every car was parked, including mine. I followed the throngs of people into a large warehouse. From the outside it was nothing special, but inside it looked like a luxury hotel. There was even a lobby of sorts set up.

“Listen up, people. My name’s Cheryl and I’m going to be asking for your cooperation as we get you all organized,” a woman said. She waved a clipboard toward a large folding table. “Extras over here!”

At least half of the crowd inside the lobby began walking in her direction. She looked slightly horrified.

Despite her initial look of terror, she soon had us divided up according to the needs of the movie. Men were lumped together in one section of the lobby, women were grouped together in another. Then she took it a step further and divided us by general age.

I knew that the chance of actually scoring a role as an extra was going to be slim to none. Tons of people always showed up to the set in hopes of getting the chance to show their faces on the big screen. Of course, even if I did land one of the spots, there was still a good chance that my scene would end up edited out.

That didn’t matter much to me. I wasn’t there for the fame. I was there because I wanted to push myself as far out of my comfort zone as possible.

There was a time in my life when I despised being photographed. I claimed to be camera shy, but it was mostly because I hated the way I looked in pictures. It was always a big shock to see a photo of myself and realize that I’d gained even more weight. I guess one could say that I’d been in a bit of denial back then.