Read Sinners and Shadows Online
Authors: Catrin Collier
âDo you want me to come in tonight and brush out your hair?'
âNo, you'll be tired after your day with Mr Evans.' Julia handed Rhian a copy of Bennett's
Anna of the Five Towns.
âLet me know what you think of it?'
âI will.' Rhian hid the book in her handbag. âSee you in the morning.'
âEnjoy your day.'
Julia looked around her room after Rhian left. Her stepmother had wanted to redecorate it but she hadn't allowed her to touch a thing. As a result it had changed very little since her childhood. The simple pinewood furniture and cream wallpaper were both over twenty years old. She had removed her toys from the shelves either side of the fireplace and used them to store her books and display some of the photographs her father had taken. Carefully posed studio shots with her mother and Gerald, taken at various stages of their childhood, outdoor snapshots of her and Gerald playing tennis and cycling, and the last photograph he had taken of her with the staff on New Year's Eve.
Leaving the stool, she opened her wardrobe and lifted out the Gladstone bag she had used to carry documents to and from suffragette meetings for the last few weeks, or so her father and stepmother thought.
She packed a new nightgown and negligée in the bottom, placed a brand-new set of toiletries on top and a plain hairbrush and comb. The photographs were difficult and she took a few moments to choose them, eventually settling on one of her mother, one of her parents, Gerald and her that her father had taken with an experimental timer and one he had taken of her and Rhian last summer. She wrapped the frames in a towel to protect them and placed them in the bag.
She added a change of underclothes, stockings, a lightweight summer dress and a pair of shoes. She had problems closing it, and the leather sides bulged. Hoping that no one would pay much attention to it when she left the house, she opened her casement window wide, moved her chair in front of it and began to re-read her favourite book,
Wuthering Heights.
Her sympathies oscillated between Cathy's mad passionate love for Heathcliff, and a desire to shake the woman for not appreciating her safe, boring husband, Edgar Linton, and the secure life he gave her.
âI agree, Joey, there's always wars going on “down there in the Balkans” as you put it. But I've a feeling that this one is going to spill over and reach here.' Billy Evans took a cheese scone from the trays of cakes, scones and sandwiches Megan had put on the table and set it on his own plate.
âSurely it won't affect Tonypandy?' Megan glanced instinctively at the twins. She couldn't bear the thought of violence marring their childhood.
It was three o'clock in the afternoon, and the air was still, uncomfortably warm even within the stonewalled farmhouse. They were eating tea, and because of the early hours Victor kept, a full hour earlier than it would be served in polite circles.
âI'm afraid it might, Megan.' Billy tapped the copy of the previous Saturday's
Rhondda Leader.
âIt says here that the Admiralty wants the mineworkers in the pits that supply the Navy with coal, to work through their summer holidays.'
âThe South Wales Miners' Executive Council have declared that it is not necessary for Britain to interfere in a war between Austria and Serbia,' Joey chipped in.
âUnfortunately the Miners' Executive Council doesn't run this country, or have any more influence than the International Miners' Congress. They adopted a resolution condemning the war between Serbia and Austria and demanding their members do everything they can to stop their respective governments from going to war. But only an incurable optimist would believe that resolution will have the slightest effect.' Billy spread butter on his scone.
âSo what are you saying, Dad?' Victor asked. âWe're powerless to prevent it?'
âAs ordinary working men, yes. The capitalists have decided to go to war for their own selfish ends, which have everything to do with making money for the arms manufacturers and nothing to do with freedom, common sense or the comfort of ordinary people and their families. And because they want it, they'll engineer it no matter what.'
âThey've been preparing for it for years,' Betty Morgan declared. Betty's husband, like Billy Evans, had been a Communist and miners' leader, and unlike most women of her class, she had developed a keen interest in politics. âWhy else is the Kaiser about to launch the world's biggest ship, the Bismarck, if he doesn't intend to start a naval war?'
âYou only have to read the papers.' Billy pointed to the neat pile in the alcove next to the stove. âThe Kaiser's reaffirmed Germany's alliance with Austria, the Russians have warned that they won't sit back and watch Serbia be invaded, so you've four countries hell-bent â sorry, ladies but I couldn't think of another word to use â on wasting the lives of their young men. And once they start firing shots at one another, more will join in. That kind of guts and glory killing has always been infectious in the past.'
âBut Britain will stay out of it.' Megan looked to her husband for reassurance.
âFor now, Megs. Cut me a slice of that apple pie, please.' Victor held out his plate.
âDon't worry, Megan, nothing's going to happen in Tonypandy.' Joey dropped a spoonful of clotted cream on the last piece of fruit scone on his plate.
âI thought that right up until the day I saw troops marching down Dunraven Street.'
âThat was the strike, Dad.' Victor could see that Megan was really upset.
âAnd you think the miners' refusal to work holidays isn't reason enough for the government to send the soldiers back into the Rhondda?'
âLet's hope not.' Victor pushed his chair away from the table. âIn the meantime I've a herd of cows to bring in and milk. Coming, Dad?'
âAye.' Billy picked up his cap and pushed it on to his head. He and Victor kissed Rhian's cheek and shook Joey's hand when they left the table to say goodbye. âEnjoy the show in the New Theatre.'
âWe will.' Joey said goodbye to the twins and the women and followed his father and Victor into the farmyard. âYou don't really think that Britain is going to get involved in this war, do you, Dad?' Unlike his father and Lloyd, he had never been a political thinker or interested in anything that took place outside of his immediate circle.
âI can't see into the future, but I don't mind telling you I'm worried. Particularly when I look at the newspaper reports. Truth seems to have given way to flag-waving and patriotism of the worse kind.' His father laced on the dusty working boots he'd left outside the kitchen door.
âThe Evans family will just have to remain neutral,' Victor said loudly for Megan's benefit when she pushed the twins' pram out into the sunshine. âHoping they'll sleep for an hour, Megs?'
âBetty said she'll keep an eye on them for me while I clear the dishes and start cooking supper.'
âAnd Betty has the best end of the bargain.' The elderly widow carried a chair and her knitting into the yard and sat next to the pram. âSee you next week, Rhian, Joey?'
âAnd then in church,' Joey smiled.
âI'll get there early. Half the Rhondda will be wanting to see Joey Evans walk up the aisle.' Betty shook her head in wonder. âI never thought I'd live to see the day.'
*â¦â¦*â¦â¦*
Rhian slipped her arm around Joey's waist as they made their way along the track that led from the farm to Tonypandy. The heat of the day was slowly giving way to balmy early evening warmth, and she felt blissfully happy and contented.
âTired?' Joey asked when she yawned.
âMaybe, just a little. All of us have been working harder and longer hours than usual. Mrs Larch has organized a series of garden parties in aid of the hospital fund. I'm glad to be missing one today.'
Joey slipped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her close to him as they walked. âI wish I could see more of you.'
âThen you feel as though we haven't had enough time to talk the last couple of months as well?'
âYes, but I'm not complaining. I like visiting Victor, Megan and the twins and Sali, Lloyd and their children, and,' he gave her a slight squeeze, âit won't be for much longer. Another two and a half weeks and we'll have all the time in the world. A two-week honeymoon in my aunt's cottage on the Gower followed by a lifetime. We could even have a little more now, if you took Sali's advice, handed in your notice to Mrs Williams and moved into Ynysangharad House.'
âI told Mrs Williams that I would work until the twenty-sixth of this month and I will,' she countered firmly.
âThat will only give you five days to prepare for the wedding,' he warned with mock solemnity.
âYou know Sali and I have everything in hand.'
âThere's always last-minute panics with a wedding,' he pronounced authoritatively.
âAnd how would you know that?'
âI was at my brothers'.'
âSo was I, and everything went smoothly.'
âThey both married in the register office. We're marrying in church.'
âAnd everything is ordered, booked and sorted. If I gave up work any earlier I'd have nothing to do except sit around Ynysangharad House and annoy Sali.'
âYou could never annoy anyone.' He bent his head and dropped a kiss on to the nape of her neck below her upswept hair. âYou said that Mrs Williams has already engaged your replacement.'
âShe doesn't start until Friday and she'll need training in the mistress's ways.' Rhian stopped when they reached the summit of the mountain and looked down. Distance and sunlight lent enchantment to the living map spread out below them. The river sparkled as it wound its way over the floor of the valley and she reflected that if she had only seen it from this distance she might have believed its blackened, filthy and debris-strewn waters to be clean.
To her right the pithead gear of Pandy Colliery dwarfed the surrounding terraces. The banging of wagons being shunted in the sidings of the goods sheds echoed upwards, accompanied by the cries of a crowd of boys who were playing football with a stuffed haversack on the flattest area of mountain above the houses.
The fine weather had enticed people out of their homes. The mountain was covered with miniature figures. Young girls holding hands and skipping behind groups of mothers, carrying babies Welsh-fashion. Colliers crouching in circles, smoking their pipes and, judging by the shouts she could hear even from that distance, arguing politics. Courting couples edging away from the crowds and heading upwards in search of privacy.
âYou sure I can't persuade you to hand in your notice now?' Joey dropped his arm to her waist. âI could visit Ynysangharad House every day after work.'
âEven on a Thursday, Friday and Saturday when you close the store at ten o'clock?'
âSali has enough bedrooms. She'd let me stay over and we could breakfast together.' He pulled her back, just over the brow of the hill where they couldn't be seen, and kissed her long and thoroughly.
She grew weak and began to tremble as she always did when he kissed her. She wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him to her until their bodies meshed so close she could feel his heart beating against hers.
He moved his head back, linked his arms around her waist and looked down into her eyes. âI love you.'
âI love you too.' Her senses heightened by the passion he'd evoked, she breathed in the scents she had come to associate with him: Kay's toilet soap, Cherry toothpaste, tobacco, the sweet, seductive almond aroma of the Macassar Oil he used on his hair.
âOh, hell!' He stopped abruptly.
âSomething's wrong?'
âYou may be about to become a virginal bride, but you can't be that innocent. Have you any idea what you've just done to me?'
She didn't want to, but she couldn't stop herself from glancing at his crotch. âI'm sorry.'
âSo am I. It's times like this that make me wish I hadn't made you one particular promise.'
âWhen you kiss and touch me the way you just did, so do I.'
âIt's nice to know you're suffering too.' Keeping his distance, he bent his head and kissed the soft skin just below her ear. She clamped her hand over his when he reached for her breast and moved it away before he touched her. âThe past four months have lasted for ever, but the next two and a half weeks are going to be an eternity,' he complained.
âFor me too,' she said quietly.
âDo you mean that?'
âYou have no idea of the number of nights I have lain awake imagining that it's you, not Bronwen, sleeping beside me. I can't wait to be close to you every minute of every night and to wake in the mornings knowing that the first person I will see when I open my eyes will be you.'
âTruly?' he asked seriously.
Deciding that as she had gone this far, she may as well confide the rest of her thoughts, she added, âAnd wondered what you look like without your clothes on because I've never seen a man naked.'
âYou had but to ask,' he teased.
âI was afraid of what it might lead to.' She felt the colour flooding into her cheeks.
âAfraid?' He fell serious again.
âOnly because I don't want to get pregnant before we're married.'
âThe wedding is so close, it hardly matters now.'
âI know,' she whispered.
Wary of pressurizing her, he said, âUnlike women, men aren't beautiful without their clothes on. That's why most artists paint female nudes,' he added, forestalling any comment on his past.
âI can't wait for us to be married so we can make love without worrying about having a baby because our baby would be a blessing like Victor and Megan's twins. But most of all I want to touch you the way you touch me and find out what it will be like when we do go to bed together for the first time.'
âIt will be wonderful â if we're not too tired after our wedding and travelling down to Gower,' he added wryly.
âJoey â¦' she faltered and fell silent.
âYes?' He sensed what she was about to say.
âWith the wedding so close we don't have to wait any longer.'
She had spoken so low he wondered if he had dreamed her reply. He said the first thing that came into his head. âWe have tickets to see Chung Ling Soo in the New Theatre.'
âIf you'd prefer to see the show â'
âWith my father and Betty Morgan still living at the farm and the house empty apart from me â and you, if you care to visit â the only magician I want to see is you,' he whispered huskily.
âWhat's the time?' Before he could move, she opened his jacket and slipped his watch from his waistcoat pocket without unclipping the chain.
âAlmost four.' He closed the watch and took it from her fingers. âWe can be at my father's house in twenty minutes but I don't want to force you into doing anything you don't want to,' he said soberly. âI promised you that I'd wait for you until our wedding night and I will, if you'd still prefer it to be that way.' He lifted her hand to his lips. âBecause the one thing that I am certain of is that you're worth waiting for, Rhian.'
She took his hand and led the way back to the summit. âYou couldn't force me, Joey, because suddenly I want this to happen as much as you do.'
âFather, I am sorry to disturb you in the office.'
âJulia, this is an unexpected pleasure.' Edward rose from his chair behind his desk and greeted his daughter. âWould you like some tea?'
âIf you're having some and you have time.'
âSit down, I'll ask Miss Arnold to bring in a tray.'
Julia glanced around the room. Her father's office hadn't changed since she was a child. Same brown-varnished dado below a cream-painted upper wall hung with a framed copy of his law degree and various other certificates. Four glass-fronted barristers' bookcases stacked with law books. A filing cabinet and low cupboard that presumably held his clients' papers. But something was different, she was sure of it. She simply couldn't see what it was.