Sins of Omission (21 page)

Reuben shrugged at his friend's accusation, but his face turned dark.

Mickey placed a gentle hand on Reuben's arm. “He's young, Reuben. He knows where his loyalty lies, but he's confused. I wouldn't be a bit surprised if Daniel is the recipient of a good many confidences from Bebe. You know, of course, even to you he will not divulge them. Daniel has ethics. An admirable trait. Most men…well, some men have it. You don't as yet, but you will one day.”

Reuben felt himself flush. A lot of things were going to happen to him “one day,” according to Mickey. It made him feel like a clod, aware once again that he was a man, but naked of the traits she most admired. Well, hell, when and where was he to acquire them?

Their peaceful reverie was spoiled now. “Let's go for a walk this way,” he said, pointing away from Bebe and Daniel.

He reached down to pull Mickey to her feet, and she bounded up to within an inch of him. “I love you, Reuben, all of you, every inch,” she said meaningfully.

“Even with my imperfections?” He meant it to come out lightly, but instead it sounded cold and brusque.

“Yes, even with your imperfections, for they are only temporary.”

“Will you love me when I'm perfect?”

“No. For there is no perfect person on this earth. If you come close to perfection, I won't be around to see it. It will take a lifetime for that to happen. I love you as you are.”

When Reuben looked away, obviously unappeased, Mickey sighed. “
Chéri,
you appear to subscribe to a double standard. You want me to accept you as you are, and I do, but you want to know everything there is to know about me from the day I was smacked on my bottom. You have pointed out to me in subtle little ways that you do not approve of my…past, and yet you want to know every little detail. I am not now who I was. You are who you are now, but you won't always be the same person. That is the way it works.” Her voice was steady and direct. “Don't you see that our lives are the reverse of each other? I think we should drop this subject now before we say things that cannot be taken back. I do not like to see that pugnacious look on your face, Reuben.”

Reuben seethed. She was right; she was always right! Every damn thing she said was true. Why did the truth hurt so much, why did he feel so frustrated? Because, he told himself, he wanted desperately to be all those things for her now, not later, when he was old. You are a boy masquerading as a man; that's what she was telling him. Yes, she loved him, but she'd love him more, maybe would have agreed to marry him if he had all those goddamned traits she so admired in other men.

Find a neutral subject, he ordered himself. Something, anything to get out of this mood. Using all his inner resources, he summoned a light, conversational tone. “If Daniel continues at the Sorbonne, what will we do with Bebe? She'll be lost without him. I'm going to be busy in Bordeaux and so are you.”

“I'm waiting for a letter from Bebe's father,” Mickey said, and shrugged. “As you know, she's been pestering me to go to England. If Sol gives her permission, I'll send her across the Channel to friends of mine, friends who are strict and won't allow her to get away with any nonsense. She could spend the summer there and come back in late September. While Daniel stays here, we can go back to the château, then attend to business in Bordeaux and return with both Daniel and Bebe under our wing. I feel like a mother hen.” She laughed. “Do you feel like a rooster, Reuben?”

Reuben threw back his head and laughed. He felt relieved that Bebe was going to be gone and realized that Mickey had managed to prod him out of his sour mood. “Someday I'm going to tell you about my friend George from the army. Yes, Mickey. I feel very much like a rooster. And may I say you are the most beautiful mother hen I've ever seen.”

Mickey giggled. “Spoken like a true gentleman.” She reached for his hand, squeezing it slightly. “I want you.”

“And I want you,” Reuben said with a catch in his throat. “I'll always want you. I'll want to hold you, to sleep next to you, to sit across from you at the dinner table, to make love to you every day of my life. Every day!” His voice was so intense, so passionate, tears welled in Mickey's eyes. He meant it, her heart told her…for now.

“And I feel the same. For all the days of my life.” That was what he wanted to hear, but not all of what she couldn't help thinking. Her reservations were in her heart.

Reuben caressed her cheek lovingly, his eyes luminous. “It's time to go back. The sun will go down soon. Let's go home, Mickey Fonsard.”

“Home. I love the sound of that word. It conjures up so many pleasant things to my mind. Does it to you, Reuben?”

“Yes, but only because it is your home, and you have shown me just what that word could mean. But I'm a guest, remember? I don't even have a key.”

Mickey laughed. “I don't have a key either! You know we never lock our doors. Is it important for you to have a key?”

He thought about it for a moment. “Yes and no. Not having a key makes me feel…temporary.”

“Then tomorrow you shall have a key, but whatever in the world will you do with it?” Mickey laughed.

“I'll carry it on my watch chain. It's a symbol. Do you understand, Mickey?”

“But of course,
chéri.
There is nothing I do not understand about you.”

 

Sitting down to dinner that evening, Bebe was instantly aware of the smug look on Reuben's face. It meant something was going to happen, something that involved her. Reuben looked smug only when he had the upper hand in something. Whatever the announcement was going to be, she knew she wasn't going to like it. In her apprehension she stirred the food around on her plate, making a mess of the vegetables and potatoes.

His own plate empty now, Reuben eyed Bebe's. She hadn't said much during dinner, but he noticed her hands were trembling. She must sense something is going on, he thought. Suddenly he felt sorry for her and was shocked at the feeling. What was Bebe Rosen really like underneath all the braggadocio, he wondered. Underneath her pretended shyness, underneath…her clothing? The thoughts so startled him that he dropped his fork, blinking in surprise. He could feel Mickey's curious frown from across the table. Could she feel his thoughts? Trying to cover his clumsiness, he addressed Daniel.

“Pierre Faroux sent your reports from the Sorbonne today, Daniel. They are something to be proud of. Mickey and I want you to stay on at the Sorbonne and live here in the house. You can come back to the château in September if you agree. With Faroux's help you'll have a high school diploma—we know you're way beyond that, though. In any case, then we can work on law school. What do you think?”

Daniel looked at Bebe first and read only blankness. His gaze then traveled from Mickey to Reuben. Did they want to be rid of him? It was such a foolish thought, he was sorry it even entered his mind. They wanted only what was best for him. More time at the Sorbonne. God, he'd give his right arm to stay longer, and here they were, offering him the opportunity on a silver platter. He stammered his acceptance, then asked, “What about Jake?” The dog, seated calmly by his side, thumped its tail, knowing intuitively it was being spoken about. “Will he go back to the château with Bebe, or can he stay here?”

“It will be better,
chéri,
if he stays here with you. Bebe will be going to England for the summer to stay with friends of mine. Reuben and I for the most part will be in Bordeaux.” At the look on Bebe's face Mickey said quickly, “Bebe,
chérie,
why are you looking like this? You begged me, pleaded with me, to allow you to go to England. I promised you could go if your father agreed. I expect to hear from him any day now. You look devastated. Please do not tell me now that you have changed your mind, after I've made all the arrangements. Say something,
chérie!
”

Bebe's world rocked. Separated from Daniel and Jake, and from Reuben as well! They didn't want her. It always happened like this. No one wanted her. Well, she couldn't let them know she was aware of their intentions. Later in her room she'd cry all she wanted to. But not now.

“How wonderful!” she croaked, her eyes bright with unshed tears. “I must buy some new clothes. I'll write to all my friends and tell them I'm finally going. How long ago did you write my father? He will agree,” she lied. “We talked about it before I came here. Does he know your friends?”

“Why, yes, he does. But I wanted to be sure. You are happy, then?”

“Happy? I'm delighted!” She jumped up from her chair. “If you don't mind, I'd like to be excused, I'm too full to eat dessert.” She beamed a smile around the table as she carefully replaced her chair.

Reuben stared at her as though she'd lost her mind. Daniel gawked, wide-eyed. The girl was one fine actress, he thought. Didn't they see what they'd just done to her? Were they blind? He could feel her pain, her rejection. Abruptly he excused himself and whistled for Jake, then realized the dog had followed Bebe to her room. By now her door would be closed and Jake would be inside on her bed licking at her tears. Goddammit!

In the now-deadly-quiet dining room, Mickey's heart fluttered in her chest. “I have this feeling,” she said so quietly Reuben had to lean across the table to hear her, “we just made a terrible mistake.” Reuben could only nod his agreement.

But it was too late to change things.

 

Daniel hesitated a moment before tapping softly on Bebe's door. He thought he could hear muffled sobs from within. Once again he tapped, this time louder, and called softly, “Bebe, it's Daniel. Please open the door.”

Bebe muttered something he couldn't quite make out. Without waiting further, he opened the door and closed it behind him. Jake didn't run to him, merely burrowed deeper into the pillows next to Bebe, who looked up at him, tears streaming down her cheeks. Daniel thought her eyes looked like moonstones, clouded with pain.

“He's nasty, he's mean, and he's hateful! It's all his idea.” Daniel didn't have to ask who “he” was. “He wants to be rid of me just like he wants to be rid of you. Don't you care, Daniel? Why do you let him push you around like he does? Don't you have a mind of your own?” Bebe gulped as fresh tears rolled down her cheeks. “He's worse than my father on one of his bad days. I hate him! Mickey didn't…Mickey doesn't care. Whatever Reuben wants is fine with her. She's glad to be rid of us, too. I don't want to go to England. I want to go home! We're prisoners!”

“No, we're not,” Daniel said, outraged. “You're upset because they didn't discuss your trip, just announced it cold like that at dinner.”

“There's a big difference between wanting something and having something shoved in your face. Why can't I stay at the château?
They
have other plans.
They
don't want me around, it's that simple. They don't want you around, either. For God's sake, Daniel, can't you see what they're doing? They're running your life. They could mess you up forever. You just sit there like a ninny pretending you like the whole idea.”

Daniel took in a long, deep breath before answering her gently. “But I do like the idea. I love the Sorbonne. Not many Americans get to study there. They're doing me a favor. I'll be living like a king, being waited on and going to classes. I'll have the library at my fingertips. I might even make some friends. It's good for me.” Bebe's disdainful expression pushed him further. “Listen to me, Bebe, I can't let you talk this way about Reuben. He cares about me, I know he does. Everything he's ever done for me has been for my own good. Mickey, too. You have to change your thinking.”

“You're a damned fool,” Bebe said sourly as she pushed away from his comforting hand. “Take your damn dog and get out of here. I don't need you. I'm sending my father a cable tomorrow. I'm going to tell him what's going on here, too!” Her voice was so defiant and spiteful, Daniel shuddered. “This place is just like Hollywood. It's a damn…den of iniquity! What do you think of that?!”

“I think you're upset. What would you do at the château by yourself? It's way out in the country. No, England is definitely the best choice,” he said firmly.

“I wish you'd leave, Daniel. I have a headache. I'm sorry…I'm sorry you…what I mean is, I'm glad you came in to talk to me, but I'm not glad…never mind. We're friends, and that's all that matters. We'll always be friends, won't we, Daniel? No matter what happens.” Her eyes implored Daniel to agree with her. He swallowed hard, then nodded, and Bebe threw her arms around him. Jake bounded from the bed, barking and wagging his tail excitedly.

“Let's take Jake for a walk, Daniel.”

“Bebe, it's late…. Oh, all right,” he capitulated. “I'll meet you downstairs.”

 

The fat little puppy of Christmas was now sleek, but still full of energy and mischief. Jake romped ahead of them, skidding to a stop, waiting until they caught up to him and then darting off again.

It was a lovely evening, the star-shot sky boasting a bright full moon. “Nights like this make me feel wicked,” Bebe confided.

“Then maybe we should go home,” Daniel grumbled. “I wish you'd make up your mind what it is you want. I'd like to see you happy.”

“Don't you think I'd like to be happy? I don't even know what it's like. Can you define happiness, Daniel?”

He struggled with the question. Whatever he came up with would have to be good to satisfy Bebe. “I think Mickey and Reuben are happy. They made their own happiness. I guess that's what each of us has to do.”

Bebe stopped in her tracks, hands on her hips. Her eyes blazed. “I asked you a simple question, a very simple question, important to me, and what do you do? You throw Reuben and Mickey in my face. No matter what I ask you, you always bring them into it.” Her mouth twisted in pain, and she turned her back to him.