Siren's Surrender (24 page)

And she hated it.

In a way it was a relief that people knew. She didn’t have to hide it or pretend anymore. She could be herself.

“No,” she said. “I’m not as brave as you and Addison are about it. I’ve always thought I could get through life without having to tell anyone.”

Tessa’s knowing gaze met hers. Her expression softened. “But, Gwen, that would mean being alone your entire life. As much as we sometimes think we don’t, Mers need human males. They are our mates, the father of our children. Without them, we have no future.”

A shiver ripped through her hard enough to make her body quiver. “I know,” she said, desperately trying to make her brain function. “I always meant to tell him, but I never could make myself say the words. I was so afraid he’d look at me like I was a—”

“Freak,” Tessa finished for her. “We’re all afraid of that moment when we have to open ourselves up to other people. Do you think it was easy for me to tell Jake? Or Kenneth?”

Gwen couldn’t help cracking a smile. The way Tessa told it, Kenneth had caught her quite by surprise when she was wearing her tail. “As I recall, you weren’t exactly thrilled when Kenneth came back to the island looking for you. Hadn’t you just about decided you’d had enough of human men?”

Tessa smiled. “Yeah, I was just about finished with men when Ken came along.”

Gwen stared at her older sister. “Then you have to understand why I held off so long,” she said simply. “I was afraid no one would accept me.”

Careful to keep her expression neutral, Tessa asked, “So you made love with Agent Whittaker because he knows you’re a Mer?”

Gwen felt sweet agony roll inside her as memories of the previous night began to reemerge in her mind. Instead of responding to Whittaker as an agent with a job to do, she was drawn to him because she found him attractive. There were no barriers between them, no more reasons to lie because he already knew what she was. She didn’t have to explain her scale pattern or wait with bated breath as he absorbed the details of her origins. He’d simply treated her as a woman he found attractive.

Gathering her frazzled nerves, she nodded. “Even though it probably wasn’t the smartest thing to do, I let him seduce me. Or maybe I seduced him. It just happened.”

“Did he know you were a virgin?”

Self-conscious, Gwen felt her scalp prickle with embarrassment. “No. Not until afterward.”

Tessa gave her sister a look. “Addison and I always assumed you were doing just fine. You always seemed to have a handle on things.”

Gwen shook her head. How do you tell someone, the people you love, that you’re falling apart inside? “I didn’t want to be a burden. You already had a lot on your hands. Breaking up with Jake, trying to hang on to the island . . . for a while there it seemed like everything was on the verge of falling apart.”

Tessa’s expression softened. “Your problems aren’t a burden, Gwen. We’re sisters. Sticking together and supporting each other is what we do. I know you’ve spent your whole life wanting to fit in. In a way I think we all do. But it shouldn’t come at the cost of our identities as Mer. What are we supposed to do? Shore up and die because we don’t belong in this world?”

Propping her chin on her hand, Gwen sighed. “I wish I could fully accept being a Mer.”

Tessa lifted a hand, stifling a yawn. “This is the only life you’ve got, kiddo. Might as well make the best of it.” She broke into a mischievous smile. “So was it good?”

Gwen felt heat rise to her cheeks. The question brought a reluctant grin. “It was great.” She cleared her throat. “All three times.”

Tessa’s brows rose. “Wow.” She fanned herself with a hand. “That man’s got staying power.”

“A lot of it,” Gwen added drily.

They didn’t have a chance to exchange more of the dirty details.

Kenneth ambled into the living room. Dressed in a pair of pajama bottoms and a plain white T-shirt, he stretched and yawned as he made his way through unfamiliar territory. “Who’s got staying power?” he asked with a sleepy grin.

“There’s no coffee,” Tessa announced. “And we weren’t talking about you.”

Kenneth made a face. “What the hell are we supposed to do about that?” he demanded.

“Agent Whittaker’s gone to fetch breakfast,” Gwen offered helpfully. “He’s bringing coffee and something to eat.” It felt odd referring to the man she’d just slept with in such a formal manner.

“Serves the fucker right to be errand boy,” Kenneth griped. “After all the damn trouble he’s caused us, he should be shining my damn shoes, too.”

Tessa shot her husband a warning look. “Settle down, Ken. You’re talking about Gwen’s new boyfriend.”

Kenneth looked from woman to woman. “Get out,” he started to say.

Pulse pounding like a jackhammer, Gwen felt hot blood rush to her cheeks. Now that the fantasy had faded with the night, she was faced with some cold hard realities.

With a groan she let her head drop into her hands. “He’s not my boyfriend,” she said, peeking up between her fingers. “I just slept with him. Uh, last night.”

Kenneth’s brows soared. He stared at her, his expression incredulous. “What? Why would you do that?” Suspicion crept across his features. “He didn’t take advantage of you, did he?”

Gwen let her hands drop. Right now she felt like a two-year-old who’d been caught stealing cookies before supper. “No, I think it was the other way around,” she admitted, giving a little wince. “I kind of showed him my tail, and things went from there.”

The ringing doorbell interrupted further conversation.

Grateful for the interruption, Gwen slid off the barstool. “That should be food,” she announced, and hurried toward the door. Her hand trembled, fingers fumbling with the knob.

Blake Whittaker’s big frame filled the threshold. He carried two plastic sacks that looked overstuffed with goodies. “Delivery,” he announced. “Hope this is the right place.”

The sight of him caught her short. Heart leaping to her throat, her breath stalled in her lungs as she remembered how he’d looked undressed, his magnificent chest covered with a dark thatch of matted hair. The ripple of muscles beneath his taut flesh. She’d seen a lot of men in her life, had admired them. But Blake Whittaker had the power to take her breath away. He was all male. As much as she might have wanted to, she couldn’t deny the attraction. It was as strong as ever.

She silently gave herself a swift mental kick.
What have I gotten myself into?

Swallowing hard, she stepped back. “Sure is.”

Blake Whittaker breezed past her, carrying the groceries to the counter. “Sorry you woke up to an empty fridge, folks,” he said, pulling out a big can of coffee, followed by a small bag of sugar and half-and-half. “I just grabbed the basics from the BX. Later you can go for your own supplies.”

Tessa snatched the coffee and popped the lid. She took a deep sniff of the aroma of pure Colombian coffee. “I needed this,” she said, adding a few heaping spoonfuls into the coffeemaker before pouring in the water.

Kenneth crossed his arms, a suspicious look playing across his face. With his hair sticking up at all angles, he looked like an angry rooster. “Well, aren’t you just Johnny on the spot? I suppose we’re going to be seeing a lot of your face around here.”

Dressed in one of his immaculately pressed suits, Blake Whittaker dodged the lethal frown. “Yes, you will.” His shoulders rolled in a casual shrug. “Guess you’d better get used to it,” he said.

Kenneth cut the agent a sharp look. “I know part of your job is to spy on us.” He smiled, but it was a cold, hard smile. “That’s a given. But I’d like to know where it’s written in your job description about having sex with my sister-in-law.”

Gwen gasped, feeling the contact of his words like the blast of a mortar. A ripple of uneasiness spread through her. “Really, Kenneth, I don’t think that’s any of your business.”

Whittaker refused to take the bait. “Anything you want to know, you can ask Gwen,” was all he said. “I won’t discuss it.”

Kenneth barely spared Whittaker a glance before homing in on her. “If he’s taking advantage of you to get to us, Gwen, it is my business.” He pointed a finger toward the agent. “I don’t care what you think your job is, Whittaker. If you hurt her, you’ll answer to me.”

Seeing the anger in her brother-in-law’s face, another ripple of uneasiness went through Gwen. His reaction shouldn’t have startled her. She should have known she’d be dragging her family into the mix when she’d taken Blake into her bed.

I’ve made a mistake,
came her panicked thought. There was only one way to make things right.

Stay as far away from Blake Whittaker as possible.

L
ater that day, Gwen barely gave Blake a second glance as she slid into the seat on the passenger’s side. Since his little dustup with Kenneth, she’d given him the cold shoulder, replying only when spoken to and staying close to her family.

Walking around to the driver’s side of the car, he couldn’t blame her. While he’d been ordered to get close to her, seduce her, he hadn’t planned for the dirty deed to happen just last night. He’d planned to take a little time, work his way into her confidence. Instead he’d steamrolled in and taken her straight to bed.

Oh, yeah. He’d also taken her virginity.

Casanova you are not,
he thought as he pulled the door shut and snapped the seat belt into place. After enduring a very uncomfortable breakfast, the day’s agenda had been revealed with a call from Director Thompson. They were on their way across the compound where the hostile Mer were being held in quarantine. Now that the women had been disarmed, his superiors wanted to question them. Any answers they offered might help speed the hunt for the remaining fugitives.

Blake glanced toward Gwen. He’d deliberately maneuvered the travel arrangements so that they could have a few minutes alone to talk.

Hands neatly folded in her lap, Gwen stared out the window. It looked like he was going to be ignored for the rest of the day.

He sighed, turning the key and starting the engine. Pulling away from the curb, he guided the big sedan toward the facilities housing the hostile Mer.

Maybe it would just be better to say nothing. Pretend it hadn’t happened. Although he knew what Frances Fletcher expected, he’d found the idea of seduction to pry out information distasteful. When he wrote up his report later today, it would not include the fact that he’d slept with Gwen. That was none of the government’s business. What had happened between them wasn’t anything that would bring the country to its knees if revealed. They’d made love and it was a private matter. Period.

Somehow he had to make Gwen understand that his desire hadn’t been faked. He’d reacted with all the instincts of a man excited by the idea of having a woman he craved.

He cleared his throat, preparing to speak. “I’d like to clear up a few things about last night.”

Gwen gave a slight shake of her head. “Let’s not talk about it,” she said, keeping her voice low and neutral. “As far as I’m concerned, it never happened.”

Blake’s grip tightened on the steering wheel. “Because you feel I took advantage of you?”

A long silence lingered between them.

Gwen finally shook her head. “No, I don’t think you took advantage.” She inhaled a deep breath and her breasts rose beneath the soft peach fabric of her blouse, kicking off all kinds of erotic images in his mind. “I was willing. I wanted it to happen. But I should have thought about the consequences. It’s like Kenneth said. Everything you see and hear, you’re going to write down. Nothing that happens between us will be private.”

Fighting to keep his head clear, Blake nodded. “To an extent, that’s true. I do work for the government.”

Gwen said nothing, just looked at him impassively with her beautiful, long-lashed green eyes.

“So you’re going to give me the silent treatment from now on?” he inquired.

Folding her arms across her chest, she stared at him. She was beautiful, even when suspicious, and the only thing he wanted to do was pull her close and kiss her crazy. “I’m waiting for you to whip out your recorder so you can capture the conversation.”

Blake immediately put his foot on the brake. The car slammed to a halt. “Let’s cut the bullshit, shall we? I slept with you last night because I wanted to. Not because I was ordered to.”

It was a lie. But it also wasn’t. Even though Frances Fletcher had tacitly suggested that he get close to Gwen, she’d also told him that it would be his own decision as to how far he pursued the matter.

The tension surrounding her eased. “Really?” she finally asked.

Blake nodded. “The spies in movies might tumble into bed with the pretty woman to find out all her secrets, but that’s not the way I work,” he said. “There’s a certain place where I draw the line. My body isn’t for sale.” What had happened between them wasn’t anything he’d let be exploited. Gwen deserved better than that.

So did he.

She seemed to be mulling his words and she wasn’t smiling.

“That’s nice of you to tell me and I thank you for your honesty. Last night was good—”

His brows rose. “Only good?”

Her green eyes sparked, showing a bit of the animation that had attracted him to begin with. “More like magical,” she admitted and a flush began to creep into her face.

Blake nodded. He didn’t dare to smile even though that was what he felt like doing. “Magical’s good.”

Gwen blushed. Really blushed. A rosy glow suffused her high cheekbones with wonderful color. “It was everything I imagined my first time would be like.” She made a quick face. “Well, except the, you know, accident.”

“I wish I had known.”

Anxiety creased her smooth forehead. “If you had, would you have gone ahead?”

“You want the whole truth?”

Biting her bottom lip, she nodded. “Yes. I do.”