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Authors: Rebecca St. James

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BOOK: Sister Freaks
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Although Gina wasn’t always sure how to pay her bills in the beginning, God always provided for her needs, showing her over and over again that this was the ministry He called her to from the beginning. All of her struggles, all of her experiences have led her to where she is today, where she can speak confidently about who she is, and who we all are, as children of God.

For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—not by works, so that no one can boast.

(Ephesians
2:8-9
)

3

dana

From Death to Life

D
ana learned early of God’s love for her and never doubted that He was real. In her simple understanding, He was her friend. Dana continued to grow in her trust in Him and His extravagant love. On her ninth birthday she made it official and went to the altar, asking Him to be her Lord.

The crossroads of her existence came when at twenty-five years old she felt God ask if she’d be willing to move across the world to care for little children in Africa. She had doubts. But she felt so full of His love, she couldn’t imagine keeping it to herself. After lots of prayer, her answer was a resounding yes! It was a decision that would uproot all Dana knew about God.

After many hours of travel, the young woman arrived in Mozambique, a country located on the dry, dusty, eastern border of Africa. Dana’s new home was in an orphanage, which housed at that time approximately four hundred children, most of them abandoned, some deathly ill, and all broken and hurting. A wild mix of intense emotions arrived with Dana, but she had ministered in some pretty rough areas of other countries and in inner-city situations, so she was confident God had adequately prepared her to handle that too.

Dana adored the dark-skinned people of Mozambique, soon loving them as if she’d grown up with their soil under her feet. Otencia, a little girl eight years old, was one of Dana’s shadows at the orphanage. She visited Dana daily, sometimes bringing bread and tea in the morning for breakfast. Each week she insisted on helping Dana hand-wash her clothes and sweep her room. Dana couldn’t believe how responsible she was for one so young.

The conditions were shocking, but Dana’s faith was sure. God wanted to demonstrate His love and care to those children. She and her team had many trials to overcome, one being that Dana became very ill with malaria, a disease passed through mosquitoes. Still, she considered that merely a part of the sacrifice—a cross she would gladly bear for Jesus.

A few months after Dana’s arrival, an outbreak of cholera, a very deadly disease from contaminated water, hit her orphanage. For almost two weeks, Dana spent days and nights transporting the children who were most ill to a tent hospital. There, under the tattered canvas, she lay them on rough wooden tables, the only hospital “beds” available. Each trip, Dana saw them getting worse, not better. All she could do was watch as the life drained out of several of those precious ones, their bodies growing limp, their breathing slowing, their skin cooling. It was actually a tent of death, and each visit there dented Dana’s faith a little more. But she held on, doing what needed to be done.

Then Otencia became ill. It was cholera, and as her energy and strength faded, Dana faced the unthinkable task. It was part of her service, part of her mission, so she carried the young girl through the night, Otencia’s soft face held to Dana’s, mixing their tears all the way to the tent.

Dana tried to speak words of comfort, but could Otencia understand? Leaving her there with those fawn eyes looking back at her—eyes filled with fear when Dana peeled Otencia’s hands from her arms, leaving her to lie on the table. Dana turned and walked away. Would Otencia make it? She could only hope.

But as Otencia’s cries faded into the darkness behind Dana, she found there was no hope left inside. Her soul collapsed in on itself, sucking what was left of her heart into a dark hole of doubt and questions about the goodness of God in the face of such anguish.

Back at the orphanage, death continued to take others. Apart from the cholera epidemic, AIDS, pneumonia, and untreated disease had claimed three more lives. The team had to continue on, but Dana cried day and night, “Where are You in the midst of this, God?” She endured weeks of questioning and bitterness against this God whom she had loved and trusted since she was a little girl.
How can I ever trust Him again?

For weeks, the Lord remained silent. No answers came. No comfort was given. And then, in the middle of a worship service for the missionaries, He broke the silence in clear, unmistakable terms. Dana was down on her knees, on the concrete floor, when one of the leaders began to read from John 12:24: “Unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds.”

As she heard these words, Dana felt her spirit began to groan deep within her. Before she knew exactly what was happening, she had fallen on her face and was crying out, “Kill Me! God, just kill me!” Dana was dying. She was dying to all that she had known before and all that she thought God was . . . and wasn’t. Dying to her need to know why; dying a beautiful, hard death. And in exchange for Dana’s death, the Lord breathed into her new life—and with this life came these words: “Dana, My goodness is never determined by your circumstances.”

In the midst of all the darkness, a new light of understanding began to grow. God’s goodness is one of those absolutes in this world of suffering. It is goodness that passes beyond all suffering, all death, and all brokenness. In His goodness, there in Mozambique, He brought Dana into a death of her own.

She realized that somewhere along the way, she had become convinced that the Lord was only as good as the events in her life. When life was all right, God seemed loving and close. When things felt as if they were crashing down around her, Dana questioned His motives, forgetting that He was the one who never changed. That’s why she had to die. Dana had to die to herself and all her expectations, so she could see Him for who He really was.

And as Dana died, she began to live in a new way, letting the Lord show her His heart even in the midst of such a distorted and painful world. He showed her that while suffering and death had so overwhelmed her, it was His goodness that met those precious little ones at the gates of eternity. It was His voice that ushered them into the land of eternal living—free from the bondage of earth. It was His perfect love that kept many more from death and suffering during those critical days and weeks.

It was certainly His goodness that brought Dana to a place of spiritual death, she saw, allowing her to be raised to new life in Him. Heaven now fills her thoughts. She says, “How can I describe the abundant life waiting for us who are willing to die to ourselves and find real life hidden with Christ in God?”

Dana is willing to work and believe.

Let heaven fill your thoughts. Do not think only about things down here on earth. For you died when Christ died, and your real life is hidden with Christ in God.

(Colossians
3:2-3
NLT
)

4

mary

Mother of God

H
ow brave am I? Can I bear this call on my life without breaking? Why have I been chosen to mother the Son of God? I’m only thirteen—how can this be true? I’m a virgin!

Her story began with a troubling visitation. Mary, a young Jewish girl living in Nazareth, heard the call of God—and not at the most convenient of times. She was engaged to a man named Joseph from King David’s lineage. Then an angel appeared and said, “Greetings, you who are highly favored! The Lord is with you.” Mary, understandably, was frightened and “greatly troubled” (Luke 1:28-29). But the angel assured her she had nothing to fear.

Mary, you have found favor with God. You will be with child and give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus. He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High. The Lord God will give him the throne of his father David, and he will reign over the house of Jacob forever; his kingdom will never end. (Luke
1:30-33
)

Mary responded, “I am the Lord’s servant. I’ll do it! I will submit to His will for me.”

Not surprisingly, after Mary said yes to God, her life changed dramatically. When the angel had approached her, he didn’t explain everything but simply heard her submission to God. So God’s plan went forward, and Mary, barely in her teens and a peasant, carried in her body part of the Trinity.

The months ahead were not easy. Joseph didn’t believe Mary’s story at first. She couldn’t blame him—it was almost too fantastical to imagine. And the couple lived at a time when women were stoned for adultery. Joseph planned to divorce Mary quietly, which would spare her life. But then God sent an angel to Joseph in a dream, explaining that Mary was indeed carrying the Messiah. The angel told him that His name should be Jesus, because He would save all people from their sins. So then the young couple carried the burden together. The Lord knew they would need each other in the days to come.

During the pregnancy, Caesar Augustus issued a decree for a census to be taken of the entire Roman world. Mary and Joseph had to travel from Nazareth in Galilee to Judea, to Bethlehem, the town of David, because they belonged to David’s lineage. It was about a three-day trip, and Mary knew the baby was coming soon—but not exactly how soon.

While the couple stayed in Bethlehem, Jesus was born. This wasn’t exactly a dream birth. No rooms were available for the couple at the inn, and Joseph could locate as shelter only a stable. There, on a bed of hay, their son was born. Mary wrapped Jesus in strips of cloth to keep Him warm and still. Despite His humble beginning, the baby radiated God’s glory. Joseph and Mary couldn’t take their eyes off Him.

Mary kept blinking through tears to see Him more clearly. She couldn’t believe she was finally holding her son—God’s Son, the Savior of the world. Her arms trembled as she cuddled Him, and she felt a joy she had never known before.

Soon shepherds, whom angels had told about the young couple, arrived. They were just as amazed as Mary and Joseph. In that quiet, lonely night, Joseph, Jesus, and Mary found comfort in the company of shepherds and some friendly barn animals.

Those early moments of Jesus’ life were precious to Mary. She held Him tightly all night, pondering what the Lord had done to bring about the miracle. It seemed so—impossible. What if she had said no to God’s plan? In the silence broken only by the quiet breathing of sleeping animals, Mary rejoiced. All fear and anxiety left her heart.

Soon after Jesus’ birth, the Magi from the East came to worship Him. Herod, the ruthless king, was very disturbed by this. He had murdered his wife and three sons, and in his rage, he gave orders to kill all the boys in Bethlehem, hoping to destroy Mary’s son. But Joseph had another visitation from an angel, who said, “Take the child and his mother and escape to Egypt. Stay there until I tell you, for Herod is going to search for the child and kill him” (Luke 2:13). The little family stayed in Egypt until they heard of Herod’s death.

Through all these trials, the Lord’s faithfulness protected Mary. He accomplished all He promised through her. Yet as she raised her son Jesus, she still often wondered,
Why me? Surely there were other, older, more qualified women who could have taken on the task.
Yet, in God’s wisdom, He chose Mary. As scandalous as the plan seemed at the time, she knew His way had to be the best. She had to trust Him.

Mary’s story continues to cause people to question why God picked such an unconventional way to save the world. Why a thirteen-year-old girl? And Joseph’s anguish and shame—couldn’t Jesus have been born under more favorable, conventional circumstances? Why couldn’t the inn have had room to house the young couple when they most needed it? Why was Herod reigning at the time—a man who thought nothing of killing babies? So many mothers’ hearts were broken.

No doubt God could have chosen an easier road for Mary, but then she—and we—would have never known emphatically that “nothing is impossible with God” (Luke 1:37).

My soul glorifies the Lord

and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior,

for he has been mindful

of the humble state of his servant.

From now on all generations

will call me blessed,

for the Mighty One has done great things for me—

holy is this name.

His mercy extends to those who fear him,

from generation to generation.

(Luke
1:46-50
)

5

bethany

Part of the Family

W
hen Bethany was a senior in high school, her English teacher assigned each student a book of the Bible to examine for literary allusions and parallels. Bethany remembers digging an old, dusty Bible out of a box in the basement and reading Ruth’s promise to her mother-in-law, Naomi: “Your people will be my people and your God my God” (Ruth 1:16).

Abused and abandoned by her biological father and struggling in her relationship with her stepfather, Bethany read the words sadly. They described a sense of belonging she had never felt and couldn’t imagine experiencing.

Bethany had almost forgotten about her English class assignment a few months later when she moved to a nearby city to begin college. A girl in her dorm invited Bethany to a church worship service, and she agreed to go.

That night, as the band played praise songs, Bethany found what she was missing: the unconditional love of a Father. By the second song, she was sobbing. “I wanted everything that I saw there that night,” she says. “So I asked Jesus into my life. And for a few moments it was pure bliss; I got a glimpse of eternity.”

And then, she says, life went downhill.

When Bethany told her parents that she had joined a church and a Bible study, they were suspicious, then hostile. While she was growing up, they had encouraged her to explore as many different faiths as she wanted. But once she chose one—Christianity—their support disappeared. Bethany’s stepfather had been raised in a Christian church, but he had turned away from it. He convinced Bethany’s mother, a non-practicing Catholic, that her daughter was being brainwashed. Bethany repeatedly invited her parents to attend her church themselves, but they never did.

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