SITA’S SISTER (26 page)

Urmila took her mother’s hand, ‘I supported him in this decision. By going with him, I would have simply imposed myself on him; I would have been a distraction. I helped him follow his heart and his greater good. As I see it, he saw his brother needed him more in the forest than I needed him as a wife in the palace. It was not just a sense of duty, or a filial sense of obligation, Ma, it was love. And I accept that love—I love and respect him more for it. This is his defining quality. For me, it is as if he has gone for war with his brother and shall return victorious and…’

‘But why should he make you suffer? He could have taken you with him.’

Urmila slowly shook her head. ‘It would have killed the purpose. Does a soldier take his wife to war, Ma? And worse, I would have foolishly jeopardized matters and imperilled myself and them as well, don’t you see?’ she said earnestly. ‘And is not dharma all about giving? It can never be about taking or demanding. Our duty cannot just be to the family and our loved ones—what about our responsibility towards society and the world? The promise extracted was a strange one which forced Ram to leave the comforts of the palace for the hardships and challenges of the forest. Clearly, he is destined to perform bigger deeds—I don’t know what they are, but I do know that Lakshman realized it and wanted to be there for his brother in his hour of need. Each one here followed his dharma. I am following mine, too.’

Sunaina was still not convinced. ‘It kills me that you have been made to bear such pain. I was so wrong, I should have been more firm and not allowed you to marry Lakshman.’

‘Just like he would have wanted to,’ said Urmila quietly. ‘He didn’t want to marry me either.’

The queen of Mithila was dumbstruck, her anger and indignation cut short.

‘He did not want to marry me. He did not want to marry at all!’ stated Urmila. ‘And he told me so. He warned and discouraged me, telling me that marrying him would be no rosy path to happiness and joy, but just the opposite. It would be a compromise; a hardship.’

Sunaina was too stupefied to react for some time, finding it difficult to assimilate what her daughter had just divulged. Her anger against her son-in-law was replaced by a growing, grudging respect and a finer understanding of the situation but she was yet perplexed.

‘But why didn’t you tell me this then?’ she demanded. ‘If he could be so frank with you, why weren’t you so with me? I wouldn’t have misunderstood him or the situation.’

‘You would have never allowed me to marry him!’ argued Urmila. ‘You would have questioned how and why I could be in love with such a person and tried to dissuade me…’

‘No, dear, I wouldn’t have. On the contrary…’

It was Urmila’s turn to be flummoxed.

‘I could see both of you were so very madly in love—and so right for each other,’ remarked her mother. Why would I have discouraged you to marry such an honourable and honest man? Oh dear, had you explained to me before, I would not been so hard on you!’ she sighed

She gripped her daughter’s hand. ‘But I have always been hard on you, haven’t I?’ she smiled mirthlessly. ‘Possibly, because I expected too much from you. Or, because I felt you were mine, the daughter of my flesh and blood, unlike Sita or the motherless Mandavi and Kirti. And that’s probably why I was over-protective about them, and harsher to you. I assumed I had this unspoken right over you which I did not have on them. And, besides, you could always look after yourself—you were tough, kind, competent and smart—the four qualities needed to survive in this world. That is why, probably, you took care of them too in your own way and never failed them.’

Urmila was surprised by her mother’s unexpectedly honest confession. It meant a lot to her and, she suspected, to her mother as well. ‘Ma, I know. You explained it all to me as a child, so patiently, so assuringly. And I understood. I can never doubt your love.’

‘Yes, you understood too well. You never made any extravagant attempts to reclaim our attention or love. I wasn’t the perfect mother for you. Was it an evolutionary imperative that preferences the more vulnerable child? Was that why I was more protective toward the other three? Or was it a flaw in my nurturing? Or all of the above?’

‘You brood too much over this, and so needlessly, Ma.’

‘Since you have gone, I have had all the time to retrospect,’ smiled the queen of Mithila, not without a tinge of sadness. ‘Maternal love can falter. It was a certain blindness of the heart; you could see me but I didn’t see you as you were—a child as old as Mandavi and a year younger to Sita. But it is them I looked after and rarely you. Call it guilt or shame but sometimes it is helpful; it penetrates the very defences it built. And it is because of your innate maturity you are being more kind to me than I deserve. Because you were always wise—even as a child. But when I heard what had happened, I had to rush here. I was worried and angry…’ she said frankly, ‘and so agitated that I was ready to take you back with me to Mithila right away!’

‘Ma!’ Urmila could not help smiling. ‘You? Who taught us to be so resilient and self-sufficient?’

Her mother sighed. ‘But not always. I could not bear the thought of you staying all by yourself, lonely and forlorn and away from your husband who I believed had forsaken you. And now that you have assured me what a worthy man you have married, I can return to Mithila a relieved mother!’ she gave a short laugh. ‘But I still insist that you should have told me this earlier. I cannot accuse him of abandoning you. He had a duty and he had to leave. That’s how I see it now,’ she paused, heaving a long relieved sigh. ‘And what I also see is my little girl grown into this fine woman who stands elegantly brave even in her despair and desolation, who sees not the darkness but the light ahead. Who appreciates the now for the never.’

‘Now you are embarrassing me!’ exclaimed Urmila, giving her mother a reassuring shake. ‘Don’t ever worry about me. And it’s not that I am unhappy, Ma, and I know that’s what worrying you. I am content with what I had for those two whole gratifying months with him. They shall last me a lifetime. I will live on that and I refuse to spoil it by thinking any sad thoughts! Of course, I miss him, but he is there always with me—his memories, his voice… He is with me, Ma, forever.’

Sunaina smiled through her unshed tears, proud of her daughter, and a little ashamed of herself.

Her mother decided she would return to Mithila after the funeral, which would, possibly, be that very day as Bharat and Shatrughna had almost reached Ayodhya. It was just a matter of time when Bharat reached the capital city and the palace.

Urmila wondered who would break the news to him; he still did not know of his father’s sudden death, or his brother’s exile, nor the cause of it.

‘It’s best he learns it from his mother,’ said Sumitra quietly. ‘Let’s not say a word.’

‘Do you think he is as clueless as you believe? His mother orchestrates such a huge plan for him and you still claim he is innocent?’ asked Shanta incredulously. ‘He must be her partner-in-crime!’

Sumitra was visibly shocked at her statement. ‘Don’t blame the crime of the mother on the child, dear,’ said the queen. ‘If I know Bharat well, not only is he innocent, but he will be as revolted with this as all of us are.’

‘He will go a step further,’ said Urmila, with a slight shake of her head. ‘He won’t just be revolted, he will revolt against his mother.’

She heard Shanta give a snort of disbelief.

‘Shanta, he is your brother, you should know him better,’ Urmila gently reminded her. ‘Why would you think the worst of him—just because of the changed situation where he stands accused and presumed guilty? ’

‘Yes, like mother, like son. After what has happened in our family, I don’t trust anyone anymore!’ retorted Shanta. ‘Who knows who is capable of what? Who would have thought Ma Kaikeyi could do what she did?’

‘Shanta, take me away from here!’ implored Kausalya with a gesture of her hand. ‘Bharat will soon arrive and sit on the throne. I am at his mercy and that of Kaikeyi. I stand defeated; one who has lost her son and her husband to their ruthless ambition. I dread what my future will be in this palace from now on!’

‘No, sister, Bharat is our son. How can you suspect him of such treachery?’ pleaded Sumitra.

‘Because he is his mother’s son,’ replied Kausalya bitterly.

It was futile arguing with them, conceded Urmila as she left the queen’s chamber to seek some peace in her own. Shanta and her mother would probably take time to regain that lost trust.

Later in the evening, Urmila saw the two brothers arrive; there was no one to receive them. She saw them walking fast towards the king’s palace and saw them coming out quickly enough and heading toward Kaikeyi’s palace, the unfinished floral trimmings a reminder of the awaiting coronation and the funeral of the king.

‘Urmi, what’s happened? Why is everything so dreadfully quiet?’

Urmila turned swiftly from the window. It was Kirti, standing bewildered at the doorway of her chamber, Shatrughna behind her. Kirti’s confusion grew when she noticed her Aunt Sunaina there.

The sight of her cousin flooded Urmila with an overpowering emotion of familiar, unforgotten feelings. Her sisters were back. It had been more than a month since she saw them but it seemed like eons ago.

‘Where is Mandavi?’ asked Urmila gently, as Kirti rushed to hug her.

‘With Bharat. They have gone to meet Ma Kaikeyi,’ replied Kirti. ‘But what is wrong? The city was stark and empty and whoever we saw, gave us such scowling looks—especially to Bharat and Mandavi. There was an angry crowd shouting loudly for Ram. Where is he? Where is Sita? And why is Lakshman not with you? Where is everyone?’ she asked tearfully. ‘There was no one to greet us…’

Urmila told her as briefly and unemotionally as she could what had happened in the palace during their short absence. Kirti stood numb; Shatrughna went white with fury, his face ashen, his eyes flashing dangerously. Seeing him thus, Urmila was startlingly reminded of Lakshman.

‘It is all because of that Manthara! Where is she? Gloating?’ he said, grinding his words with vehemence. ‘I shall find her. And I shan’t spare her!’

Before either she or Kirti could stop him, Shatrughna had walked away and Urmila felt a small pang for the old maid. Her days were now numbered…at least in this palace.

‘Urmi!’

The short stillness in the room was shattered with the sharp plea. Mandavi—not her cool, collected sister—but a panicking Mandavi with tears streaming down her face, clutched at her arm urgently. ‘Come quick please! Bharat is beside himself! Mother Kaikeyi just told him all that happened…’ she sobbed uncontrollably.

Urmila did not waste a second; she allowed herself to be grabbed by her hand and followed Mandavi. One look at her sister’s terrified face, and Urmila could only guess of what must have occurred in Kaikeyi’s palace.

The sight which met her eyes as she entered Kaikeyi’s chambers sent a cold shiver down her spine. Bharat was lying sprawled on the cold marbled floor. Her heart skipped a beat. She rushed towards him as did Mandavi.

‘What are you two girls doing here?’ demanded the enraged queen. ‘How dare you interrupt us! Leave, I say! I am talking to my son!’

‘Mother, what’s wrong with him?’ asked Urmila worriedly.

She looked again at him. He was white to the lips; he looked ill. Mandavi was trying to help him up.

‘I just broke the news to him. He’s grieving…’ she hesitated. ‘Don’t worry, I’ll take care. I am his mother.’

‘You are a murderess, not my mother!’ said Bharat weakly, his face slowly tingeing with colour. ‘A cold-blooded killer!’ he repeated more strongly. ‘And I am ashamed to call you my mother. It’s a slur. It’s a smear I’ll have to bear all my life—I could die of mortification! Oh, woman, what did you do?’

And he took a stride towards his mother. Kaikeyi retraced a step fearfully. Urmila swiftly intervened and placed herself between the two. Mandavi held him back.

‘How did you ever think I would fall for your wicked plans? You banished Ram thinking I would accept his crown, his throne, his kingdom?’ he cried. ‘You have made me a villain like you—one who is desperate for power, a brother who is a traitor, who seizes his elder brother’s throne. You have made me as culpable as you, evil woman!’

His mother flinched, her face hard. ‘You can call me what you want, son, but there was a plot against you—to deprive you of your rights. I did it for you.’

‘For me? Without asking me?’ he questioned. ‘And what rights are you talking about? The promise my father made to my grandfather? Why, even my grandfather would not ask for it now knowing the changed situation. My father gave that promise when he was childless. But after the four of us were born, it was always Ram, being the eldest, who was heir apparent. Even you accepted it all along, and so happily. So what made you turn so suddenly against us? Why? Greed?!’

‘I came to my senses at the right time!’ said Kaikeyi fiercely. ‘That is why I asked for the boons because everyone—including me—was under this happy spell that all was well, but it wasn’t, was it? Why was the coronation of Ram arranged for when you had been shunted out to my father’s? Is that not odd, Bharat? Everything was hushed and hurried. I wasn’t told about it…why?’