Six Miles From Nashville (5 page)

“Sorry.”

He wagged his head slowly and gave her a sorrowful look. “We won. We were six and they were three. They tried to weasel out another first down, but we held the line.”

“You must be very proud,” she said, thinking he would detect the sarcasm in her voice.

“Yep, we held them.” He rubbed the mud from his face and tossed the towel back to her. “I’ll meet you at supper. I don’t want to mess up your pretty little car.”

Chapter
6

Three weeks later she stood at the front of the line when Johnny loped up to her and ran his fingers through his chin length light hair. “I have to go home.”

“You?”

“I ran out of money and can’t get a job to pay my school payment. I talked to the superintendant and he said there were no more grants or extensions available. I can’t ask the folks for money. They are barely making it.

“I have to go today, but I wanted to give you this to remember that you belong to me. We belong together.”

He produced a small box with a promise ring in it. The diamond was tiny, but it represented the promise of a life together someday.

“You shouldn’t have spent your money on this.”

“Please wear it. I...I love you.”

“Thank you.”

“Thank you for what? Do you love me or not?”

“I just didn’t want it to sound like a knee jerk response.”

“Well?”

“I love you, too.” She took the ring and put it on her left ring finger. Her lashes were wet with tears.

“I have to pack up and go before classes start today.”

Betty was stunned at the abruptness of his departur
e. After he gave her a lingering kiss, they left the astonished students behind as they walked hand in hand to his dorm room. She watched him pack everything he owned in one small suitcase. The others were in the cafeteria and didn’t see her kiss him goodbye when he reached his 1970 Ford. Tears flowed down his face as he got into the driver’s seat and started the car. She wished he would ask her to go with him. She took a step back as he slowly put the car in gear.

The sound
the threadbare tires made as they crunched the gravel echoed in her head. Johnny slipped around the corner out of sight. Betty’s legs wouldn’t hold her any longer. She sat in the middle of the parking lot with her knees shoved up to her chin. She swayed back and forth until she noticed students leaving the cafeteria and heading to chapel. She went to her dorm room, skipping her kitchen duties. Betty stared at her little golden ring with the tiny diamond winking at her.

Will he write to me
?
Will he forget me?

In the foll
owing days she didn’t talk much and was careful to stay away from everyone. Soon, she felt that she was invisible. No one thought anything either good or bad about her. She was asked to go on a few double dates, but declined. She still didn’t have any real friends.

Her world ended when
Johnny went home.
He was the best friend I ever had.

Betty awakened and looked around. She realized that she was at Miss Sweetie’s place. She punched the pillows. Replaying everything about her life made her tired.
I miss Johnny so much, but I can never see him again. I can’t mess up his future
.

The pain in her back quieted after she
leaned into the lumpy pillows.
Johnny was at the school to become a pastor. I hope he is able to make enough money to go back. I believed that all the students there were as hungry to learn about God as he was. I was wrong.

The discovery
that most of them were sent there by their parents, surprised her. They took the biblical studies lightly. Some of them were like sponges. They could memorize all the Scriptures assigned to them easily. She struggled with it even though learning it was her heart’s desire.

After
Johnny left, she put most of her efforts into her choir class. The choir director took her aside and introduced her to a voice coach. Betty was to learn some of the solo parts for the choir tour around the world. She told him that she couldn’t pay for a coach or the trip. It didn’t seem to matter to him.

Betty
learned a lot from the voice coach. Her voice became strong and she was able to hold notes a long time without grabbing for air. It was a powerful feeling.

She
marveled that she ended up in this place so far away from the school. She blew her nose hard and could hardly think because she was crying so hard.

Betty
remembered the trouble she caused when she wrote Mama and told her and Daddy that she was going to be a soloist for the choir. In her letter she told them about the trip and that her teacher assured her that she could work her way over there.
If only I hadn’t told Mama that they were working on my diction and pronunciation.
I can’t believe Mama placed that phone call.
Her mama called the day she read the letter and yelled at her for more than an hour.
She thought I was takin’ on airs...like the way we talk in Oklahoma isn’t good enough for the fancy old Bible school.

Betty turned onto her
side and wadded the pillow into a bunch and lay her head on it.
I hadn’t realized that I had changed my speech. I had started using different words.

She made me feel low. I never wanted any of my folks to think I was putting on airs. Nothin’ I said comforted her. She hated me. She said so. I wasn’t her girl anymore. I belonged to the world.

There isn’t a hurt so bad as to lose the love of your mama. The pain was all the way through me
.

When Betty
hung up the phone and went to her dorm room, the roommates were sitting on one of the beds eating popcorn and gossiping about the girls on the lower floor. Betty stretched out on the bed and tried to get Mama’s words out of her head.

Someone started practicing chording on the piano
in the parlor. It was Jane. Nobody played more pitiful than her. It matched Betty’s thoughts. She was out of harmony with her family. She began to think that she was wrong for leaving the living room and should have stayed and watched TV with her mama and daddy. Maybe something would have happened to her and she could have made them proud.

Betty’s memories were interrupted by a knock on the door. Miss Sweetie came in and wrapped her greasy plump arms around her and tried to comfort her. It seemed to make things worse because all she wanted was for her mama to be with her and love on her.

Betty spoke to Sweetie in a raspy voice,
“Daddy called me once. He didn’t say much. ‘I’m proud of you, girl. You are gonna be something big. Don’t let Mama hold you back. I will watch over her. She gets over stuff by and by. Keep your head up. Daddy loves you.’

“Something happened to me when I hu
ng up the phone because when I did, the wail inside me that I held back for that whole conversation busted through my throat. I collapsed into a mess on the floor. The floor monitor called for help and they sent for an ambulance.

“I trie
d to talk, but all I could do was groan or make that pitiful sound from my throat. There was no telling them that I wasn’t sick and I would get over this.”

“
They put you in the hospital? How long were you there, little one?” Sweetie asked.

“They kept me a few hours
until they realized that there wasn’t any insurance on me. Then they sent me to a county mental facility. It was crowded, but seemed clean enough.”

A strange look
of fear fell over Miss Sweetie’s face. She gave a small nod as if she was talking to herself. She smiled at Betty wide enough to show all of her big horse teeth. Clearing her throat she said, “I am sure you are not crazy.”

Betty
laughed just a little bit. “The doctor told me that I needed to get away from my folks. They were restricting my growth. He said that there was nothin’ wrong with trying to speak better. His example to follow was Walter Cronkite on the evening news. He said that powerful people talk without an accent. They talk like the people on television. I found that funny because all Mama and I ever did, besides going to church and town, was watch TV. We should have learned something there.”

Miss Sweetie shook her head in disbelief. “You know how to spin a yarn, young one.”

“The whole thing is the truth.”

Betty decided to hold back the rest of the story. She needed to keep her job so that she
could save up to do something big.

“Anyway, here is your grub. I gotta go. The rush will be here soon.”

Miss Sweetie left quickly and was down the stairs to serve the people on her shift.

Betty got a large drinking glass from the cabinet and filled it with tap water. She took a small bite of her chicken fried steak. The memories continued.

She was at the county hospital for only two weeks. There were some really crazy people there, but there were some who were mostly normal. One boy seemed only a little disturbed.

She kept mostly to herself so he started up a conversation with her. “Hi. You don’t look like you belong here.”

“I don’t,” she said.

  “I don’t either. I was sent here instead of juvie hall to  keep my
record clean. “

She frowned and studied the young face. He looked like a kid. “What did you do?”

“Took a joy ride in my art teacher’s car. He was a sorehead and pressed charges even though I brought it back to his house.”

“You must’ve known you would be in trouble for that.”

“So.”

“So, you are here,” she said.

His smile was dazzling. “If I hadn’t done that stupid thing, I wouldn’t have met you.”

Sweat broke out on her brow as he
r throat tightened. “I am engaged.”

“Looks more like you are ‘promised’ to me. That’s not as official.”

“It is,” she said as she walked away from him and to her room.

While she
relaxed in the sunroom that evening, he came in and sat down slowly next to her. “Didn’t mean nothin’ bad earlier. It gets kinda lonely in here. I was hoping we could be friends.”

“Okay.”

“My name is Randy. I heard someone call you Betty?”

“Yes, that’s my name.”

“Betty, I feel lost in this place...like nobody really understands me. Sometimes I...,” he paused for effect, “cry myself to sleep.”

She had never heard a boy admit to something so personal. It made her feel uneasy.

“I know we can’t see each other except in here, but I need to talk to you where the nurses won’t overhear.”

“Why?”

“I need to tell someone what they are doing to me.”

She blinked quickly.

“They beat me, the male nurses, every night.”

“Can’t you tell the doctor?”

“No, they won’t believe me. I need to show you what they have done to my back and ribs so that when you get out, you can go to the law and tell them I am in danger.”

“I still think you can tell your doctor.”

He crossed his arms and leaned back in his chair. His voice was only a hoarse whisper, “You don’t believe me either.”