Sizzling (26 page)

* * *

BETWEEN HER NEW JOB and helping Lori and her mother through the
funeral, Dani hadn't had much free time. So it was another week
before she found an empty afternoon and the courage to face
Gloria.
She parked in front of the large, old house and stared
up at the sparkling windows. As a child, the house had terrified her.
As a teenager, it had represented a place to escape from. She'd never
been comfortable inside the well-decorated walls and she didn't
expect to feel any better at the end of this meeting. But she had to
try.
She'd called Gloria and had asked for a meeting,
explaining the purpose and, despite the older woman's civilized
behavior at the funeral, had expected to be shut down. But the woman
she would always think of as her grandmother had agreed.
"It
doesn't mean anything," Dani muttered to herself as she climbed
out of her car, then walked toward the front door. "She just
wants to torture me in person."
There was no other
logical explanation for Gloria's agreeing to see her. Still, she
couldn't help the spark of hope that burned inside.
She was
let in by Reid who gave her a thumbs-up after he led her to Gloria's
room. Apparently the accident meant she couldn't climb stairs because
Gloria sat in a wing chair in the study. The room had been converted
to a comfortable bedroom, complete with an adjustable bed and large
television.
"Hello, Dani," Gloria said. "Have a
seat."
"Thanks." Dani crossed to the other
chair in the room and sank down. "You're doing much better. You
seemed to be getting around pretty well at Madeline's
funeral."
Gloria shrugged. "I'm healing, but still
getting older and older. It sucks, but there we are."
Dani
blinked. She'd never heard her grandmother use the word "sucks"
before. It was kind of scary to hear it now.
"I
understand you went to work for Bella Roma? An interesting
choice."
"I'm happy with it. Bernie is great to work
for."
"His mother can be a bit of a
challenge."
Dani remembered that Mama Giuseppe hadn't had
very much nice to say about Gloria and wondered about a past the two
might share.
"I'm enjoying the new place," Dani
said, going for a neutral response. "It is challenging, but fun.
Great people, great customers and the food is amazing."
Gloria
studied her. "I haven't seen much of you lately."
"I
know."
"Why is that?"
Dani stared at the
other woman, unable to believe the question. "You made it clear
I wasn't family in the cruelest way possible. You deliberately hurt
me. Why would I want to come back for more and why would you want me
to?"
Gloria looked down. "Yes, I suppose when you
put it like that…"
There was an uncomfortable
silence. Dani found herself feeling almost guilty, which really
pissed her off. None of this was her fault. She hadn't done anything
wrong. So why did she feel like apologizing?
"I don't
want to keep you," Gloria said, pointing to a folder on the
bookcase. "That's for you. There's basic information about your
father inside. I didn't bother with anything else because you'll be
able to find out whatever most interests you yourself."
Dani
stared at the folder, but didn't reach for it at once. "You're
going to tell me his name?"
"Of course, Dani. I
understand why you're doing this, but please be careful. A man in
your father's position…" She sighed. "It won't be
easy. You have to understand that."
Dani stood up and
grabbed the folder, but didn't open it. "What aren't you telling
me? Is he a murderer? Someone I'll hate?"
"Not at
all. He's— " She waved at the folder. "Open it, for
heaven's sake. Then you'll understand what I mean."
Dani
sucked in a breath, then flipped open the folder. The top sheet of
paper showed a picture of a man in his early fifties. His face was
handsome, smiling and incredibly familiar.
Shock held her
frozen. She couldn't read the words underneath or bring herself to
turn the page. She looked back at Gloria.
"Mark
Canfield?" she asked, her voice breathless. "Senator
Canfield?"
"Yes."
"He's my
father?"
"Yes."
Dani didn't know what to
think. "He's running for president. Of the United States. You're
telling me my father is running for president?"
"His
campaign is still in the exploratory stage, but that's what I've
heard."
Dani sank back into the chair and tried to catch
her breath. She couldn't get her mind around this life-altering
reality.
"I can't believe it," she murmured. "Mark
Canfield? I know who he is. I voted for him."
"I'm
sure he'll be delighted to hear that," Gloria said with a smile.

* * *

REID WOKE in the middle of the night and found himself alone in
the bed. He lay there for a second before getting up and walking into
the living room.
Lori sat curled up in a corner of the sofa.
Outside, street light spilled through partially opened drapes and
allowed him to see she was awake.
"Bad dreams?" he
asked as he settled next to her.
She shrugged. "When I
can sleep, which isn't often."
"You could take
something."
"I'm not ready to resort to medicating
myself, although I'm close to giving in on that front." She drew
in a breath. "Why are you up?"
"You were
gone."
She didn't answer that. He put his arm on her
shoulder to draw her close, but there was a stiffness in her body
that resisted his attempt to offer comfort. Uneasiness settled in his
gut.
She was still deeply mourning the loss of her sister.
This was hardly the time to talk about their relationship, yet he
felt compelled to say something.
"You've been quiet,"
he told her. "I know you're going through a lot. I've been
hanging around to help. Would you rather I wasn't here?"
She
turned to him, her eyes dark and unreadable in the half light. "I
think that would be better. I need some space right now."
It
was as if she'd crawled inside his chest and drop-kicked his heart.
The rejection was as sharp as it was instant. He didn't know what to
think, what to say. Lori didn't want him around. Lori didn't want
him.
"I, ah, okay." He stood. "I'll
go."
He paused for a second, but when she didn't say
anything else, he had no choice but to leave.
As he got
dressed he remembered all the times she'd worried that he would be
the one crushing her. Looks like she'd spent too much time worrying
and he hadn't spent enough.

CHAPTER
TWENTY-ONE

GLORIA THREW DOWN her napkin. "What's wrong with you?
You're hanging around the house too much. Frankly, you're starting to
get on my nerves."
Reid looked at his grandmother. "I
can move out anytime."
She sniffed. "I'm not ready
for that, but I want to know why you're so quiet and moody. While
Madeline was a perfectly lovely young woman, you hardly knew her. So
it can't be that."
It wasn't. "I miss Lori," he
said quietly, knowing at this point there was no reason to hide from
the truth. It slapped him in the face every single minute of the day.
"I finally found the woman I want to be with and we can never
have a relationship."
"Why on earth not? The girl's
crazy about you. She has been from the beginning. I tried to warn her
off, but would she listen? Of course not. Young people
today."
"She's not crazy about me anymore. She
barely speaks to me. About a week ago I asked her if she'd like me to
stop coming around all the time, if she needed space. She said it
would be better that way." He stared at his uneaten dinner. "She
can't forgive me, which I understand. I can't forgive myself."
"For
what?" his grandmother demanded. "What is your horrible
crime?"
How could she not know? How could she want him to
say it aloud? Unless this was her way of forcing him to take
responsibility.
"I'm the reason Madeline died."
"You've
always had a flair for the dramatic," Gloria muttered. "Dear
God, Reid. You weren't in the operating room. It's not as if you ran
her over with a car. How is any of this your fault?"
"I
found the donor. I insisted on moving forward with that."
"So
she could have a chance. The new liver was supposed to save her
life."
"But it didn't," he said, feeling the
helpless fury rise up inside of him. "It didn't do a damn thing.
If I'd just left things alone, she could have had another year. Do
you know what that year would have meant to her? To Lori and her
mother?"
"I do know," Gloria told him. "But
you're taking your already overdeveloped sense of self-importance a
little too far. Be logical for a moment. Madeline wanted a liver
transplant. You didn't force this upon her. Lori and her mother
wanted it, as well. As far as they're concerned, you made a miracle
happen."
"You don't know that."
"I
have a good idea about it. Besides, based on what you told me, the
doctor said Madeline would never have survived any major surgery. She
had a heart condition no one knew about. So regardless of who found
the donor, she would never have made it."
"But she
wouldn't have died that day," he said heatedly. "Maybe,
with time, she would have had a chance."
"Or not.
You did the best you could. Reid, you put yourself up for public
ridicule in an effort to save someone's life. You acted as you did
with the best of intentions. No one blames you. Not even Lori."
"You
don't know that."
"Of course I do. Did it ever occur
to you that Lori's actions have nothing to do with you? That she and
her sister have been close for years and that the loss has devastated
her? Did it occur to you that she's withdrawn as a way to deal with
the pain? Or maybe because she thinks you don't care enough to deal
with her grief. Have you talked to her at all?"
"There's
nothing to say."
Her expression tightened. "I don't
remember you being this much of an idiot before. If you don't get
your act together, go to her and tell her how much you love her, I'll
write you out of my will."
That nearly made him smile. "I
don't need your money, Gloria. I have plenty of my own."
"Fine.
I'll fire you."
"I already quit."
Her
eyes narrowed. "Then I'll stop loving you."
That got
him. He straightened. "I didn't know you did."
She
looked away. "Of course I do. You're my grandson. I've watched
you grow up and become, until today, a relatively decent
man."
"You've never said the words."
She
sighed and returned her gaze to his face. "Fine. I love you. Are
you happy?"
It kind of surprised him, but, yeah, he was
happy to hear it.
He stood, walked around the table and hugged
her. "I love you, too," he said.
"I know. So
stop telling me and go say it to someone who matters."

* * *

LORI WAS SORRY she'd started crying the day
of Madeline's funeral. It had been nearly a week and she couldn't
seem to stop. She wasn't eating or sleeping. Instead she lived in a
world of pain where she missed her sister in ways she hadn't thought
possible.
The pain was made worse by the loss of Reid. She'd
known letting him go was the only thing that made sense. He couldn't
possibly want to hang out with her while she mourned, so when he'd
wanted to leave, she'd let him. But as he'd been her only anchor in a
swirling, scary world, now she was alone and it terrified her.
Her
mother had gone back to her little trailer. All her friends gathered
around her and she seemed to be doing all right. But Madeline had
been one of Lori's only friends.
"I'm pathetic,"
Lori muttered to herself as she walked into the kitchen to make some
tea. "I have to pull it all together."
She had a
job. Although she'd talked to Gloria a few times, she'd yet to make a
commitment on returning. Part of her knew that Gloria was well enough
to survive without her. Which meant she, Lori, should start looking
for another job. But where? The thought of having to deal with
someone else right now, to start over at yet another house with
another family, was more than she could stand.
She put a
spoonful of tea leaves into the pot while she waited for the water to
boil. As she reached for a mug, she almost called out to ask Madeline
if she wanted tea, then remembered Madeline was gone.
The wave
of agony was sharp and fresh. It cut through her, slicing away her
strength until she could only collapse and slide toward the
ground.
But instead of falling, she was caught in strong arms.
She turned and saw Reid standing there.
Gratitude replaced a
little of the pain. She threw herself at him.
"You came
back."
"I had to," he said, his eyes dark with
emotion. "To tell you I'm sorry. I know this is all my fault. I
know I'm the reason she's gone."
The kettle began to
whistle. Lori released him and turned off the burner.
His
fault? How could he think that? "You don't have anything to do
with Madeline dying."
"I found the donor. I pushed
for the surgery. I made it happen. She wasn't ready. She made that
clear. If I hadn't pushed, she could have survived another
year."
Lori supposed a soft, gentle caring response was
in order, but she was too stressed. She folded her arms over her
chest and shook her head.
"I've always suspected you had
delusions of grandeur, but I never expected this. Madeline died
because her heart stopped beating. That's it. Unless you have a
direct line to God and put in a request to end my sister's life, you
had nothing to do with it."
"But I— "
"Stop,"
she told him. "Just stop. Madeline was going to die from her
disease. One way or the other, she was lost to us. Do you know what
it's like to live day after day, knowing the end is coming? Sure,
we're all going to die eventually, but most of us get to pretend that
moment is a long way off. We get to live normal lives. But that
wasn't going to happen for her. She was going to get more and more
sick. The liver cleans the body from the inside. So she would get
more toxic as time went on. Massive bruises would cover her torso.
She would be poisoned to death by her own body."
She
dropped her arms to her side, but she didn't touch him. She wanted
him to listen, to not be distracted by anything else.
"You
gave her what no one else could, Reid. You gave her hope. In fact you
gave it to all of us. Don't ever make that less than it is. Hope is
everything. Hope is a miracle."
"So if you don't
blame me, why did you send me away?"
"What? I
didn't," she said. "I thought you
wanted
to be gone.
I know I've been caught up mourning Madeline. It just seemed like you
would want to be somewhere else."
He glared at her.
"Dammit, Lori, why do you always do that? Why do you assume I'm
here because it's convenient or easy? Why do you think I'm going to
disappear at the first sign of trouble?"
His temper
surprised her, as did her reaction to it. She was more than ready to
fight. "Because you have a long history of taking the easy way
out. We've talked about it. You don't hang around when things get
difficult."
"In my past," he said. "When,
with you, have I ever flaked out?"
Good question. "You
haven't had the chance."
"Oh, great. So you're just
waiting around for me to screw up? Because that's what I do,
right?"
"No. I don't mean that." She didn't.
Not exactly.
"So what did you mean? You dumped me before
I could dump you?"
"No," she told him. "I'm
in mourning here."
"A convenient excuse."
"You
should know— you're the king of them."
He shook his
head. "You talk about me. Sure I've spent my life taking the
easy way out. Well, you've spent your life not even trying. At least
I show up."
The unfairness and the truthfulness of the
statement cut her. "You don't know anything about me," she
said, her voice getting loud. "You don't know what it's like to
live in someone's shadow."
"Bullshit," he said
in a low voice. "You called me on using my sad past with Jenny
as an excuse to hide. Allow me to return the favor. You stopped
hanging out in Madeline's shadow a long time ago. Sure the story
worked while you were still a kid, but you've been on your own for a
long time now. You have a career, a house, you're more than capable
of taking on the world. So why are you so damned afraid to step up
and take a chance?"
How could he be hounding her like
this? Didn't he know what she was going through?
"Why
were you always so convinced that I could never really want you?"
he asked when she didn't say anything.
"Because you
couldn't," she yelled.
"So this has all just been a
game? I'm playing you?"
"Maybe," she
muttered.
"Maybe?"
"Yes," she told
him. "Yes, this is easy and convenient and fun and when it gets
hard, you won't be here."
Then she started to cry because
as she said the words aloud, she knew that the last couple of weeks
had been hard and he'd been with her every step of the way. He'd
never flinched from any of the emotional messiness. She'd been the
one hiding, the one afraid to believe she was worth loving.
"If
that's what you really think," he said quietly, "then I
don't belong here."
He turned to leave.
It was
like drowning. In that second, Lori saw her entire life flash before
her. But it wasn't the years she'd already lived— it was the
years to come. The old, empty years of regret. Years where she would
search the local papers for some word of Reid. Where she would waste
her life wondering how things could have been different.
She
could see herself hiding in a crowd, hoping to catch a glimpse of
him, wishing he would look up and see her and give her another
chance. She could see years of playing it safe.
"Don't
go!"
She ran into the living room and grabbed his arm
before he could reach the front door. "Don't go. Please.
Don't."
She brushed at the tears in her eyes so she could
see him. "Reid, don't go. I love you. I love you so much. I'm
terrified you'll leave and I'll never survive that. So I thought it
was better to get over you now. To hold back, to push you away. I'm
afraid. But that's not fair to either of us. I've always hidden
because it was easy and safe. But it's lonely and not how I want to
live my life anymore."
"What if I don't love you
back?" he asked.
She felt cold all over. "Then
you're really stupid," she said, trying for bravado and failing.
"It'll hurt, but I'll recover. It's easier to get over a
heartbreak than it is to try to heal from regrets. And I would regret
pushing you away. I'd regret it for the rest of my life."
She
decided to be more honest with him than she'd ever been with
anyone…including herself. "I've spent too long not
trying. Giving up instead of risking. That stops now. I love you, no
matter what. You are a part of who I am."
"I love
you, too."
She blinked at him. "You do?"
"I
do. I love you in a way I've never loved anyone. You bring out the
best in me, Lori. You don't let me get away with anything. You're not
easy, but you're the greatest time I've ever had." He grabbed
her hands, raised them and kissed her knuckles.
"I love
you," he repeated. "Seriously, deeply, forever. I only want
to be with you. I want to marry you. I want to have babies with
you."
"I love you so much," she said as she
threw her arms around him and pressed close. "How could I not?
You're everything to me."
He grabbed her upper arms and
held her far enough away so that he could see her face. "Yeah?"
She
smiled. "Yeah."
"And you'll marry
me?"
"Yes."
Something light and warm
brushed against her arm. It wasn't Reid and the air wasn't blowing.
Still she felt the touch and knew she'd made the right choice. For
the first time since her sister died, her heart was at peace.
Thank
you,
she said silently.
The soft brush came again and with
it, a faint whisper: "Be happy."
If she hadn't been
saving money to stay home with Madeline, she wouldn't have taken the
job with Gloria. If she hadn't taken the job, she would never have
met Reid, wouldn't have known what it was like to be loved by this
man. She might never have found him, or herself.
For the first
time in her life she knew what she wanted and where she belonged.
With Reid. She'd finally reached the place where she could not only
believe in him…she could believe in both of them.
ISBN:
978-1-55254-778-6