Sizzling Nights with Dr. Off-Limits (4 page)

Just when her ex-husband showed up and rocked her world by saying he wanted to be her friend. Right.

Lucas's gaze was intense, so much so it bore into her. She ignored him. Let him think what he wanted. She'd wondered if hormones had played into her constant tears, but perhaps Lucas had been the real cause.

“These days, what makes you cry, Emily?” Lucas asked, his fingers toying with the puzzle piece he held. Did he know she'd cried Saturday night? Did he want her to admit how much he'd affected her? Truly, he triggered strong emotions whether they were of happiness or sadness.

“Sad movies,” she answered flippantly. No way was she getting into a discussion about what brought on her tears.

“Me, too,” Cassie piped up and began to talk about a movie where a dog had died and she'd cried.

While Lucas watched, Emily removed the thermometer from the supply tray she carried. She took the girl's temp across her forehead, took her blood pressure, clipped the pulse oximeter over the child's finger and completed her vitals check.

Then she took her stethoscope and listened to the girl's heart and lung sounds and jotted them down on a notepad she kept in her pocket. She'd record them into the computer electronic medical record when she returned to the nurses' station.

“Is there anything you need, Cassie?” she asked.

Wincing a little, the little girl shook her head. “Just to finish this puzzle.”

Emily glanced down at the three-fourths completed puzzle. “Looks like you're making good headway.”

“Dr. Cain is helping.”

“I'm not much help,” Lucas quickly inserted. “Cassie is the puzzle master. I'm just riding on her coattails.”

Emily's throat tightened. She didn't attempt to speak. Why bother? There was nothing to say even if he was kind to a child.

She fought to keep from frowning.
Professionalism
, she reminded herself.
Professionalism.

Ugh. She had to get him out of her head.

Which had been a lot easier when he'd been out of her sight. Now that he was working at Children's, she was going to have to learn a new strategy to keep Lucas from ruining her hard-earned peace.

Work. She'd focus on work.

She turned to Cassie's mother, smiled. “Anything I can get for you, Mrs. Bellows?”

The woman shook her head and thanked Emily anyway.

Without a word to Lucas, she headed out of the room. Lucas joined her in the hallway seconds later.

“I'm sorry.”

That made three apologies. Seemed Lucas's vocabulary had definitely expanded over the past five years.

“For?” she asked, not sure what it was that had him saying a word he used to be unable, or unwilling, to say.

“Saturday night.”

Her heart raced within her chest, using her lungs for punching bags and leaving her breathy. “There were so many things you should be sorry for about Saturday night. Enlighten me as to which you refer specifically.”

“All of it.”

She ordered her hands not to shake and her feet not to trip over each other. “All of it?”

“Well, not the buying your date part,” he amended, flashing a good imitation of a repentant smile. “I'd like to take you to dinner, Emily.”

He wanted to take her to dinner. Flashbacks of the past hit again. He'd pursued her hot and heavy, had asked her out repeatedly until she'd said yes. Not that she'd not wanted to say yes to the handsome doctor, but she'd planned not to fall into the trap of dating the doctors she worked with. Ha. That hadn't turned out so well.

“Perhaps you misunderstood how the date works,” she said, just because he waited for a response. “Part of what you won is that I am supposed to provide you with a meal.”

“I'd rather provide you with a meal, but beggars can't be choosers. Would tomorrow night work?”

Beggars couldn't be choosers? What did he mean by that? Whether or not she agreed to coexist with him really didn't matter a hill of beans in his achieving his career goals. He had to know that. She frowned. “Maybe we should just make the ‘date' a lunch one.”

He shook his head. “I work through lunch most days and just grab a few bites of something when I can.”

So did she, most days.

“Okay, fine. Tomorrow night,” she agreed for the sole reason that the sooner she had her “date” with him, the sooner she had that behind her and wouldn't have it hanging over her head like an executioner's ax.

“Really?”

Why did he look so surprised? Then again, he didn't know she'd gone to the TBI fund-raiser chairman and requested to purchase her date and void her obligation to Lucas. The woman had denied her request with a laugh that said she thought Emily was silly for even asking.

“Let's get this over with.”

His smile made his eyes twinkle. “What time can I pick you up?”

She did not want to be seen with him in public, but she supposed most of her friends already knew he'd bought her date. Several of them had asked how it felt to be bought by the hospital's hot new doctor. Ugh.

“I'll meet you at Stluka's.” She told him the address of the bar and grill that was not too far from her apartment.

“Sounds great.” He smiled and Emily's brain turned to mush. Pure mush. Lord, help her. She didn't want his smile affecting her, didn't want him to smile and her nerve endings to electrify with old memories.

That was all that was causing the zings through her. Old memories and not that he was knocking down bits and pieces of the protective wall she'd erected between them.

Maybe she was being too hard on herself. Lucas was a beautiful man with gorgeous eyes and a quick smile. Plus, she knew what those long fingers, that lush mouth, his hard body, were capable of. She knew.

Darn. She needed Lucas repellent. Or Lucas resistant spray. Or something. Anything to give her the power not to respond to his utter maleness.

She didn't want to respond to him.

He represented the worst time of her life.

He represented the best time of her life, a little voice reminded. Only, that time of joy had been short-lived and she'd spent years recovering from the aftermath.

CHAPTER FOUR

E
MILY
ARRIVED
AT
Stluka's right on the dot of seven. Although she'd been ready and nervously pacing across her tiny apartment for the past hour, she'd refused to arrive early. She would not have Lucas thinking she'd been eager to spend time with him.

She wasn't.

She just wanted this over. Which didn't really explain why she had a nervous jittery feel in her stomach. Maybe that was normal when dining with one's ex-husband.

The perky blonde hostess greeted her with a huge smile and welcomed her to Stluka's. “Are you meeting someone or just want to hang at the bar?”

At that moment, a man stood from a bar stool, turned, met her gaze.

“I'm meeting someone. He's already here.”

The girl followed Emily's gaze and gave an impressed look. “Lucky you.”

Lucas joined her, but Emily wasn't sure if he overheard the girl's comment. If so, he didn't acknowledge her admiration.

“We're ready for our table,” he told the hostess.

Smiling, she grabbed a couple of menus and motioned for them to follow.

The place was packed, just as it usually was, so the fact they were immediately being shown to a table surprised Emily. Then again, there was no telling what Lucas had tipped the girl to have a table ready for them. Money talked.

“What are you thinking?” he asked as they walked toward a semiprivate booth.

“Nothing.”

“Your expression went sour. Surely I haven't already done something to ruin your evening. I'd hoped you'd enjoy tonight.”

“I'm not here to enjoy my evening, Lucas. I'm here to fulfill an obligation.”

“And determined not to enjoy one moment of having to endure my company?”

“Something like that,” she admitted, which garnered a low laugh from him.

He let her slide into the booth, then joined her. The hostess handed them the menus.

“Your waitress will be over in just a few minutes.”

Lucas scanned the menu. “It all looks good. What's your favorite?”

She glanced briefly at her own menu. She did not want to make small talk, but the night would pass quicker if she at least attempted to interact.

“I like their cedar-plank salmon.”

“Sounds good. That what you're getting?”

She nodded. “The apple-stuffed duck is really good, too.”

“I'll order that, then, and share.”

“I don't need you to share your food with me. I'll have my own.”

“Maybe I was hoping to try the salmon and the duck so I'd know which I preferred for next time.”

Next time. Would he be on a date? Have some young woman with him who wasn't so prickly, wasn't so five years ago.

“Suit yourself.”

Their waitress came, took their order, then disappeared.

“Tell me, Emily, how did you end up in that bachelor/bachelorette auction? Even though it was for a great cause, I will admit, I was surprised to see your name.”

She bristled. “Why? Think no one would bid on me?”

“I bid on you.”

“It would have been better if you hadn't.”

“Would you have agreed to dinner with me if not for the auction?”

“No.”

“Then it was best that I bid. Besides, your guy was ticking me off that he barely upped the bid each time someone bid.”

Yeah, there was that. Speaking of ticked off, Richard had not been happy that she'd canceled their plans that evening so that she could go out with Lucas. Actually, he'd been downright surly.

“That's why you jumped the bid out of his ballpark? Because he was barely upping the amount?” She'd just been happy that Richard had kept bidding against the strangers who'd been bidding prior to Lucas putting an end to all other interest.

“You deserve someone who sees your worth, Emily.”

“Yes, I do, which doesn't explain why
you
bid on me.” She immediately wished she could retract her words. She didn't want to argue with Lucas. She wanted to make it through dinner and go home unscathed from spending time in his company.

“Ouch.”

“The truth often hurts.”

“True.” He took a sip from the glass of water the waitress had set on the table. “If I was completely honest, I'd admit that I didn't know I was going to bid, until I actually did.”

He hadn't meant to bid on her? She wasn't sure if that made her feel better or worse that he had.

“Like I said, you shouldn't have.” She unfolded her napkin and put the cloth in her lap. “All it's done is cause problems.”

“How so?”

“Richard is my boyfriend. He isn't thrilled at what you did. Nor is he thrilled that I'm out with you tonight.”

“He could have bid higher.” He took another drink of water.

“He could have,” she admitted, wondering why she was defending Richard. He could easily have afforded to bid higher and he should have. That he hadn't irked her. Never would she have let another woman win a “date” with her man when she had the means to prevent it. “But Richard is way too practical to spend that much money on dinner with me. Why should he when he knows he gets to spend time with me for free?”

“You like practical?”

“I love practical,” she immediately answered. She did like practical. Impractical made her feel out of control and that was something she never wanted to be again.

Lucas coughed as if his water had lingered and gone down the wrong pipe. “You love that guy?”

She wanted to lie. She wanted to say she was madly in love with Richard. She wanted to be able to tell Lucas that, yes, she had moved on past him and given her heart to another.

Instead, she told the truth.

“Richard is a great guy.” Despite how surly he was over Lucas. Then again, Lucas was a handsome doctor; under different circumstances that didn't involve a past relationship that had ended in divorce, Richard would have every right to be surly. Maybe she should tell him who Lucas really was. “We have a lot in common and I enjoy our relationship.”

At least, she had right up until Richard had let Lucas walk away with the winning bid without even putting up a fight. Now she found herself questioning everything.

Lucas's gaze didn't waver from hers. “But do you love him?”

Did she love him? Not in the way Lucas meant. Not in the way she'd loved him. She'd never let herself love that way again. She knew how much that kind of love hurt.

“I don't think my feelings toward Richard are any of your business.”

“You don't.” He leaned back against the booth seat and studied her. “You're not in love with him.”

At first she thought he sounded smug with his claim, then she realized he was saying the words as much for himself as he was to her. Which had her wondering why. Why would Lucas care if she was in love with Richard? He hadn't come to Children's because of any lingering feelings for her. He'd come because he'd been given a medical director position that was his dream job.

“What do your parents think of him?”

“They like him.” Mostly. Part of her knew her parents were just glad she was out and dating, that she was rebuilding a life for herself. Plus, Richard was a pharmacist, a good man with a steady income, and he came from a similar background to Emily. They liked that about him. They liked that he wasn't Lucas. They'd die if they knew she was out with him, that he'd come to work at Children's. Her mother would be trying to get her to change jobs immediately. Her father would, dear Lord, her father would likely come after Lucas if he knew she was within ten feet of the man who'd broken his little girl's heart.

“How about you?” she asked, wanting the conversation to turn away from her and Richard, to turn away from her parents and how they, probably rightly so, felt about Lucas. “Anyone special in your life?”

He shrugged. “I date from time to time but am currently not seeing anyone.”

“Maybe you'll meet someone at Children's and sweep her off her feet and live happily ever after.”

Why did the thought of him meeting someone and her having to watch that relationship blossom make her physically ill?

“I'm not looking to meet anyone, Emily. I'm at Children's because of the career and research opportunities being there provide me. Nothing more.”

Nothing more. As in, she shouldn't get any ideas he was there because of her. Ha. As if. She knew better than that. He'd expressed himself loud and clear on that one over five years ago. “What type of research opportunities?”

His eyes lighting, he told her about a new procedure he and a colleague had been developing to reduce intracranial pressure post head trauma. His passion for what he was doing, what he hoped to achieve, impressed Emily. Lucas loved what he did and wanted to make a difference in his patients' lives. Darn him. She didn't want to like anything about him, but she admired his passion.

“You couldn't do that at where you were before?”

He shook his head. “Dr. Collins is still the medical director and shot me down every time I wanted to use the procedure.”

Dr. Collins. A grumpy old man who was so antiquated he must have come with the building. No wonder a progressive neurosurgeon like Lucas had sought other career opportunities.

“At Children's you get to make the final call of whether or not the procedure takes place?”

“I'm just waiting for the right patient.”

“What's the advantage over traditional procedures to decrease ICP?”

“It's less invasive and less risk of post-surgical complications.” He explained the procedure and continued to do so after their meal arrived, pausing only to brag about how good the duck was.

Surprisingly, Emily found herself enjoying listening to Lucas.

“I didn't know you were so interested in research.”

He shrugged. “It's always been a dream.”

“I never knew that.”

“We didn't talk about my school and work much.”

“We didn't talk much about anything,” she reminded, more sarcasm than she'd meant coming out in her tone.

“That's not how I remember things. At least, it wasn't that way in the beginning. We'd spend hours just talking.”

La. La. La. La. She fought to keep memories from rushing into her head. Memories of lying in Lucas's arms, naked, sated, and talking about anything and everything. Much easier to keep him at a distance if she only remembered the endless tears and screaming matches they'd battled through.

Seeming to realize that she was throwing up walls, he forked a piece of his duck, then held out the loaded utensil. “Here. Taste.”

She shook her head. “I know it's good.”

“Humor me so I won't feel guilty when I ask to try your salmon.”

She did not want him to feed her, nor did she want to feed him. “But I...”

“Emily, please.”

Please.
The word on his lips undid a knot holding her emotions back. She leaned forward and took the bite he offered.

The sweet yet tart flavor of the apples next to the tender duck had Emily sighing. The salmon was her favorite, but the duck dish ran a close second.

“That's good.”

His gaze dropped to her plate.

“Oh, all right.” She forked a piece of the flaky pink meat and proffered her fork.

His gaze locked with hers, his mouth closed around her utensil, then he smiled. A real smile that reached his eyes and was full of pleasure.

Emily fought to keep her eyes open, hating the weakness surging through her. She didn't want to respond. Not in any way, shape or form.

But sharing his food, sharing her food, had her gulping.

“Amazing,” he agreed, and she assumed he meant the food and not the starburst of feelings shooting through her. Why, oh, why couldn't she be immune to this man? She should be immune. He'd hurt her so badly, he shouldn't have any control over her feelings anymore. Not any.

“This was a really bad idea.” She hadn't meant to make the admission out loud.

“Why?”

“You're my enemy.”

“Your enemy?” He shook his head. “That's not who I am, nor how I see you, Emily.”

“How do you see me, Lucas?”

* * *

Lucas studied the one woman he'd given his name to and who had held more power over him than any other. His wife. Ex-wife, he corrected.

“I see you as the most beautiful woman on the inside and out that I've ever met.”

She was. If only her sadness hadn't taken over their relationship. If only he'd been able to understand and help her through whatever had changed within her. Him. He'd been what had changed her. No wonder she'd jumped at the chance to leave.

Emily's eyes closed and she shook her head. “Don't say things like that.”

“Things like what?”

“Things you shouldn't say to me.”

“Why shouldn't I tell you how beautiful you are?”

“Because you quit making me feel beautiful long ago.”

Her words stunned him, shocked him, but maybe they shouldn't have. He and Emily had fallen apart. He regretted that he'd played any role in her not seeing the beauty so evident in everything about her. “I am sorry, Emily.”

“I don't want your pity. It was a long time ago.”

“I don't pity you. I pity myself at what I lost.” His admission shocked him almost as much as hers had. He did regret that he hadn't been able to make Emily happy. When he looked across the table at her, saw the depth of emotion in her eyes, heard the sincerity in her voice when she spoke, he was filled with longings for her laughter, for her to smile at him the way she used to, before they'd married.

“Can I interest you in dessert?” the waitress asked, filling up Lucas's water glass.

Emily shook her head. “I'm full, but thank you.”

Lucas found himself wanting to order dessert just so he could prolong the meal, could prolong his time with Emily, but he declined, also.