Skin Dive (27 page)

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Authors: Ava Gray

Tags: #Romance

BOOK: Skin Dive
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Regardless, Taye walked into the redbrick building, went up to the fourth floor, and filled out the forms. In his leather duster and motorcycle boots, he didn’t fit in with the other patients, who were all dressed in silk and cashmere. The receptionist—a silver haired matron—eyed him when she saw he didn’t have insurance . . . because this was a pricy private clinic; he’d checked them out before he hung up with Mockingbird.
“Do you have an appointment?”
“I’m just here for some tests,” he said. “I understand you can help me . . . draw blood and expedite the process. I’m paying cash.”
Her demeanor grew a little friendlier. “Ah. What kind of tests?”
“Full STD panel and HIV finger stick.”
“If we send the sample to the lab today, we can have results in three days. The HIV test we can do on premises. Results in about half an hour. The nurse can take care of you. No need to see the doctor.”
“Excellent.”
It didn’t take long, as she’d promised. The HIV test came back clean, a relief for Gillie’s sake. Hell only knew what he might’ve done in his past life. Taye left then, heading back to his hotel. They’d call when his lab work came back.
For three days, he sat and waited, watching bad TV and trying to ignore the pain in his gut. He wasn’t sure he could hide his illness this time around; she would certainly notice the pills. Maybe he could convince her they were vitamins.
At last, the phone rang, and he swung by the clinic to hear the news. The relief when he studied the results surprised him. If he’d picked up anything, he couldn’t have gone to her. He had almost been expecting it, given the scraps of memory that came to him in his dreams. But apparently his vices had been drink and violence, not unprotected sex.
Nerves crowded his head, but it was time. Taye called a cab.
Though there was an electronic entry, the gate opened without anyone asking who he was visiting. Maybe the guard thought he lived there. That was pretty fucking stupid; just because he had cab fare, it didn’t mean he belonged here.
Then he got into her building itself without trouble when a neighbor was coming out. God, any bastard with killing in mind would have no trouble at all getting to her. It chilled his blood. He ran up the stairs, ignoring the knife in his side.
Before he got to the apartment, however, he heard laughter—Gillie . . . and someone else, a male someone; their voices hinted at intimacy and familiarity. Fear froze his steps, his hand upraised to knock. Before he could make up his mind, the door opened.
She was still a brunette with a flip cut. Contacts tinted her eyes green, but the gentle curve of the mouth was the same. She had freckles now, a sweet smattering across the bridge of her nose. If possible, she was even more beautiful than he’d remembered . . . because she looked happy. No more running, no more working terrible jobs for a pittance. What the hell was he doing here? Lines from a Trent Reznor song flickered in his brain. Yeah, he’d only hurt her. But he couldn’t walk away either; he didn’t have the innate altruism to deny himself again.
“Hey,” he said.
Gillie recovered her poise swiftly, her smile locking into a shape he hadn’t seen before. It had a false quality, like plastic fruit. “It’s been a while. Steve, this is my friend, Brandon.”
Steve.
That was the name he’d chosen in the bus station, so long ago now. That last time, he’d walked away from her, made her think he didn’t care, and now he’d reap the bitter harvest.
This is what heartbreak feels like.
The kid stuck out his hand politely, and Taye felt a thousand years old as he shook. Sick roaring in his head almost drowned out the words, “Nice to meet you.”
Normal. Be normal.
But pain called more pain, and he felt the lightning rise.
Not here. Not now. Be. Normal.

 

Gillie saw the
danger signs in Taye’s face. For all he’d pretended there was nothing between them, for all the lonely he had put her through—those long months without contact—there was an unbreakable bond between them. And the idea she’d chosen a baby like Brandon was driving him crazy. If she didn’t take the situation in hand, someone would wind up fried.
“We have a lot of catching up to do,” she said to Brandon. “I hope you understand.”
“Sure.” He grabbed his backpack and headed out.
Fortunately, he had been on his way already. He came over twice a week, ostensibly to study, though she knew he had ulterior motives. Brandon wanted to hook up with her—well, not her. Grace Evans from Ohio. With him, she had to be nice. Polite. No breaking dishes. No screaming. He wouldn’t understand the anger, and so it would never, ever be anything but pretend. She couldn’t be real with anyone but Taye. From the beginning, she’d known that, but men could be slow.
It hadn’t been easy since the incident at the mental hospital. She had bad dreams, and she regretted what she’d done, so much. But she’d faced it alone, proving she was strong enough to handle anything. She’d passed a test. Therefore, it was fitting Taye would sense that and show up now. She was ready for him.
As Brandon went down the stairs, she took Taye’s hand. “Dial it down. If you pull here in the hall, I’ll have to run again, and that’ll piss me off. I’m acing aberrant psych.”
“You’re not with him?”
Typical man. Took you ages to claim me, but the minute you catch someone else sniffing around, you’re about to blow a fuse.
“We’re friends,” she answered. “Not with benefits. Relax and come inside.”
“You’re not mad at me?” His expression seemed faintly dazed.
She closed the door behind him, trying to decide how to answer. “I was at first. Went through all the stages, including
he’ll be sorry
and
this is it forever
, but it always cycled back around to
it’s him or nobody
, once the anger faded
.
”
A little shudder rolled through him, visible to the naked eye. God, he looked like shit, so thin and hollow-eyed, his cheekbones sharp as knives. “You’re serious. Have you dated at all?”
“Sure. Casual stuff.”
“And there’s nobody special.”
“There’s you,” she said. “It’s always been you. It’ll
always
be you.”
“I shouldn’t love hearing that so much, but . . . Gillie, you’re everything.”
“I am?” God, she’d almost given up hope.
He reacted as if he had a world of words dammed up inside him. “Sweet, sweet girl, I want to dive under your skin.”
The sweetest ache blossomed in her chest. It wasn’t quite an
I love you
but it was closer than she ever thought she’d hear from Taye. Maybe he didn’t know how deep he’d taken root already—that he’d woven himself through her soul in an infinite pattern. She’d resigned herself to a future without him, but she’d never wanted that, ever.
“You’re there,” she told him. “My heart beats for you.”
His throat worked. “I want to be part of you so you can’t ever cut me out.”
“I didn’t even try,” she said quietly. “I can get by without you. I
have
. I can manage reasonable contentment, but I can’t be me without you. I can only be Grace Evans.”
“She seems nice. Brandon likes her.”
Gillie laughed. “My point. I guess I only have one question—what took you so long?”
“I suffer from a unique genetic condition. It’s called Dumbass Syndrome and, unfortunately, there’s no cure.”
“I’m a healer, you know. I can help.”
“You’re the only one who can. I have something to show you.” Taye dug into his pack and produced a sheaf of papers.
Gillie took them, reading with a dawning sense of wonder. “You got tested?”
“I knew if I came to you, I had to do it with a clean bill of health. Unlike most guys, I can’t tell you who my partners have been. I can’t say how many women—or men—there may have been. I don’t remember shit about my past, and I don’t think I ever will.”
“I don’t care,” she said softly. “We’ll make new memories. I may as well have been born the day I met you, too, because it was the first day in longer than I could remember that I actually had hope. You have no idea what you did with that message you left in the bathroom.”
“And you
believed
me. I have no idea why. At the time I wasn’t even sure I could control myself enough to make it happen. Sometimes surges still get away from me.”
“That’s part of the magic, isn’t it? In a place like that, we found each other.”
“I taunted Rowan about you,” he admitted.
She grinned. “I know. Silas told me.”
“What the—”
“ ‘Word on the ward is: she’s smoking hot. A tight little redhead with a killer ass.’ ” Gillie pitched her voice low, doing her best Taye impression. “‘I figure she’ll be so grateful to see a new face that she’ll be riding my pole in under a month. What do you think, Doc? Will she put out?’” She winked, continuing in her normal tone, “I totally would have, you know.”
“Dear God.”
“Relax, I thought it was hilarious. Only
you
could make him crazy like that . . . You knew just how to push his buttons. Silas showed me the footage after you freed him. I loved when you told Rowan he was the crazy butcher keeping me in his dungeon, so I was never gonna show him my titties and beg him for the cock. True, by the way. And awesome.”
A red flush lingered high on his cheeks, but he was smiling, too. “It was kind of inspired, I must admit.”
“And this is why it’s you. There’s nobody else with whom I can acknowledge those days, who would understand what’s been done to me. I’m not normal. I never will be. I can pretend, and I can pass, but I have no hope of a real relationship with anyone else.” It hurt her to admit this, like he was a consolation prize, and that so wasn’t the case. “They took too much away from me, too many years. But you understand that because they stole your memories, too. We’re the same, you and I. We fit.”
“You don’t need to convince me.” He drew a deep, shaky breath, as if releasing some long-held tension. “I’ve wanted you so long I hurt with it.”
“What changed your mind about us?” Gillie knew he’d intended to make the break permanent. That last time, he hadn’t even left her hope, but sometimes you ran on faith instead.
“I felt like I should give you the chance to meet other people . . . and not just roll you under me without letting you do some comparative shopping first.”
That wasn’t all of it. From the shadows in his eyes, she saw a secret, maybe even the one that had him looking so thin and tired. But she wouldn’t push for his confession. In time, he might trust her enough to confide on his own.
“Well, now I have. Other men tried to get in my pants, some with more determination than others, but I didn’t feel anything for them. I always wanted you.”
His voice went rough, and the gravelly tone sent a thrill through her. “At night, in bed, I get off remembering how you taste, the softness of your lips, and the way you sound when you come. Those are the only sexual memories I have. All you. Always, you.”
A slow burn started deep inside, as Gillie imagined him tugging on his cock as he had that day at the safe house . . . for her pleasure. Every orgasm he’d ever had, she had caused in one way or another. How fucking hot was that?
Irresistible
. She figured this was how some men felt about virgins . . . because in a way, Taye was one, too. He couldn’t recall anyone else, and that made him all hers.
Delicious
.
But before she moved forward, she had to be sure. “Tell me we’re done pretending this isn’t what we both want.”
“No more waiting. I gave you a chance to find someone else.”
“If I had, you’d have killed poor Brandon . . . and maybe everyone in the building as collateral damage.”
“Not on purpose,” he muttered. “But I’m not big on restraint. You’re mine now.”
Mmmm
. The need spiked higher, making her want to grind against him, and he hadn’t even touched her yet. Not once. They were going to blow the roof off, though not literally, she hoped. With Taye, it was always a possibility. The danger added a little spice, not that they needed additional chemistry. Almost from their first moment, she’d known it could be like this, if he would only let it happen. She would have fucked him on her bathroom floor down in Rowan’s dungeon.
“Then let me show you my room. Did I mention it has a bed?”
“Fascinating.”
Taye laced his fingers through hers, but she noticed he didn’t lead. No sweeping her off her feet. Gillie registered the subtext at once—this was a decision they’d made together—no coercion, no seduction, just willingness and desire. That meant everything to her because he remembered what she’d said about needing to be equals. He didn’t see her as a child to be protected anymore.
“We know you’re clean,” she said softly. “I obviously am. And I have a bonus prize. I got a Depo shot two months ago.”

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