Skinny Bitch in Love (34 page)

Authors: Kim Barnouin

Tags: #Fiction, #Romance, #Contemporary, #Romantic Comedy, #Contemporary Women

BOOK: Skinny Bitch in Love

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On Friday afternoon, I did what I always did when I was freaking out. I cooked. My cell phone was next to the package of vegan cream cheese on my kitchen counter. It had rung at least twenty times in the past hour. But it was never the real estate agent.

If she didn’t call me soon I’d go out of my mind.

I was whisking vegan cheddar, jack, Parmesan, and the cream cheese into squash and soy milk for my amazing Macaroni and Four Cheeses when the phone rang.

I grabbed it. “Clementine Cooper speaking.”

It
was
the real estate agent. I held my breath.

This is it. Say yes.

“Clementine Cooper, I fully expect dessert on the house when I stop by your new restaurant on Montana Avenue.”

I screamed. I barely know what I said back. Promised her free food for the rest of her life, I was pretty sure.

Clementine’s No Crap Café. Reality.

Text to Zach:
Talk Friday tonight?

Zach:
Come by at seven.

When Zach opened the door to his house, I handed him his lease. Charlie stared up at me and then waddled over to his dog bed.

“I got the space on Montana. Clementine’s No Crap Café is a go. My way.”

“You want to know what I think about all this?”

“Yeah, I do.”

He took my hand. “That you’re not the least bit interested in my money.”

“I could give a shit about your money,” I said. “Actually, I like you less for it.”

He laughed. “You can take me out to dinner then. To celebrate.”

“I’d rather make you dinner. Here.”

He pulled me close to him and kissed me.

“Oh, and by the way, Zach? I love you, too.”

Shit, yeah, I said it.

Epilogue

O. ELLERY RICE

Los Angeles Times
Restaurant Critic

It takes a confident chef to put the word “crap” in the name of her restaurant, and let me tell you, twenty-six-year-old Clementine Cooper, owner and executive chef of Clementine’s No Crap Café, has good reason for that confidence. Her terrific new vegan restaurant opened last night on Montana Avenue in Santa Monica with a line wrapped around the block.

From the moment you step inside the gleaming ten-table eatery with its Cali-meets-Moroccan décor, you feel instantly healthier. Raised on an organic farm in northern California, Clementine believes in offering delicious food in its natural form, and with a range of cuisines, this fabulous eatery has something for everyone.

From her famed Butternut Squash Ravioli in Garlic and Sage Sauce to melt-on-the-tongue Curried Chickpea Cakes, Clementine’s entrees are healthy and incredibly satisfying. Offerings include Spicy Vegetable Curry, Asian Macaroni and Cheese, Crepes with Raspberry Sauce, Caramelized Eggplant with Red Miso, Lentil Tacos, and some fantastic soups and salads, from the incredible Red Potato Black Olive Salad, to the blissful Kale and White Bean Soup.

A former sous chef at Fresh and several top vegan restaurants, Clementine Cooper has brought to Santa Monica a vegan restaurant so good that it’s easy to see why the competition has always run scared from her. Famous for her Skinny Bitch empire, Clementine sat down with me over dessert—a slice of her incredible German Chocolate Cake—and explained that being a Skinny Bitch has always meant cutting the crap out of your life. Clementine’s No Crap Café will give you a great way to do just that.

Acknowledgments

Laura Dail, a million thanks for so many things. To Karen Kosztolnyik, I am grateful for your enthusiasm and your belief in me. Heather Hunt, you handle so many details that make everything run so smoothly, and I truly appreciate it. To Louise Burke, Jennifer Bergstrom, Liz Psaltis, Natalie Ebel, Ellen Chan, and Stephanie De Luca at Gallery Books, thank you so much for your help in getting this book made, I am forever grateful. Melissa Senate, you are truly magical. Thank you does not suffice, but still, thank you!

A special shout out to San Diego’s La Jolla Beach and Tennis Club; it was there that I got the inspiration to do this novel.

To Keesha Whitehurst Fredricksen and Joylene Loucks, I am the luckiest girl in the world for getting the most amazing BFFs.

And finally, thanks to Stephane and Jack for loving and supporting me, no matter what I decide to do.

KIM BARNOUIN
is the #1
New York Times
bestselling coauthor of the Skinny Bitch diet and cookbook series:
Skinny Bitch
,
Skinny Bitch in the Kitch
,
Skinny Bitchin’
,
Skinny Bitch Bun in the Oven
, and
Skinny Bastard
, and the author of
Skinny Bitch Ultimate Everyday Cookbook
;
Skinny Bitch: Home, Beauty & Style
; and
Skinny Bitch Book of Vegan Swaps
. She is the creator of the Healthy Bitch Daily website. Kim lives in California with her family.

http://authors.simonandschuster.com/Kim-Barnouin/

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Also by Kim Barnouin

Skinny Bitch

Skinny Bitch in the Kitch

Skinny Bastard

Skinny Bitch: Bun in the Oven

Skinny Bitchin’

Skinny Bitch: Ultimate Everyday Cookbook

Skinny Bitch: Home, Beauty & Style

Skinny Bitch Book of Vegan Swaps

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First Gallery Books hardcover edition June 2013

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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Barnouin, Kim