“And then some,” Harry mumbled in disappointment.
“Sorry, Harry. I know you wanted more,” Josh admitted.
“Yeah, but you’re not a magician. You’ve given me more than I had when I got to Ballard this morning. That counts for something. I’m gonna do everything I can to get this sick bastard.”
“That’s good. Because Skye and I plan on doing the same,” Josh said in the way of a reminder.
F
or Josh and Skye, downtime was almost nonexistent. But when they were able to relax, they excluded the world in order to spend time alone with each other. They turned off cell phones to watch a movie. They did the same with their laptops, making a pact to not check emails or go near social media. There were times like tonight when all they did was stretch out on the couch in the living room at the loft and talk.
With his head, resting on Skye’s lap, they tried to sort out the changes taking place in Josh. It had taken him a couple of days to get back to his old self again. During that time, Skye had done her best to walk him through how best to handle the images which were becoming a nightly ordeal.
“Why do these visions only come to me at night? Why don’t they hit me while I’m sitting at my desk in broad daylight staring out at the Space Needle? Why don’t they point me to the sick bastard?” Josh wondered, clearly frustrated.
“Hmm, how do I explain this to a smart, sci-fi geek like you so you’ll be able to grasp the big picture? Let’s see. First, the brain is most susceptible to a vision when you don’t have your shields up. That would occur at night when the subconscious is prone to suggestions during sleep, the dream-like state. Second, if he ever takes off that damned mask, you’ve got him in your sights.”
“Shields up? I like that. My sci-fi influence is obviously rubbing off on you, admit it?”
“What I admit is that all your tossing and turning is keeping me awake at night,” she teased.
“Sorry. But I don’t see how you handled this at thirteen, Skye. Some of these images are disturbing and I’m a grown man. For a child…I can only imagine. I just don’t see how you kept from going crazy.”
“I’m the reason you’re having these dreams, Josh.”
Josh let out a loud sigh. “Come on. Not this again. We’ve rehashed this no less than a hundred times. I am what I am now. Do you hear me complaining? No. Want to know why? Because I’m happier than I’ve ever been before in my life.” He picked up her hand. “That’s because of you. You seem to forget that if you hadn’t come along in the alley to save me that night, I might not even be here. If we hadn’t crossed paths I might be dead right now long before Kiya ever brought me back from the other side.”
“Don’t do that.”
“Do what?”
“Try to make it sound like it was meant to be or something.”
“Why? I believe you and I were meant to be. I’m sorry you don’t.” Bitterness clawed its way into his reason, began to inch up to full anger.
“I didn’t mean it like that.”
All at once he sat upright, looked over at her, long and hard. “You won’t even talk about our future together. It clearly makes you uncomfortable when I even broach the subject. You can’t even bring yourself to use the word ‘married’ where we’re concerned.”
“Josh, I can’t even have children.”
He continued staring at her with those silver eyes of his, until she finally added, “Don’t deny it. You wanted children. You said so—with Annabelle.”
“Okay, I did—once upon a time—with Annabelle. But Annabelle’s gone. I’m not fixated on having children, Skye.”
“That’s because
you
can have children,” she snapped in a huff. “There’s nothing wrong with
you
.”
Josh tried for patience, rubbed his forehead where a headache wanted to join the growing resentment. “And there’s not a thing wrong with you. You’re perfect in every way.” When he saw her scoff at that, he went another direction. “Did you ever get a second opinion about that diagnosis from another doctor? You had to be very young when they told you that.”
She shook her head.
“We could always adopt.”
“You’d do that?”
He sighed and took hold of her chin. “I’m pretty sure before we head to an adoption agency and sit down with social workers, you’d have to marry me first, which up to this point, I can’t even get you to agree to discuss. Do you love me, Skye?”
“Of course, I do.”
“Then that’s the next logical progression for people who love each other. They commit to be together, usually marking that commitment with something known as a ceremony, either formal with a member of the clergy performing the ritual or something more casual with a judge in attendance to make it official in the eyes of either God or the state.”
She rolled her eyes. “Smart ass. I know what it entails, Josh.”
“Then maybe you just don’t want to mark that rite of passage with me.”
“Don’t be ridiculous. If not you, then who? I love you, Josh. But marriage? With me? What if, at some point, you
do
want your own child? It wouldn’t be with me.”
“If we adopt, the child would be
ours
. Period.” But even as he studied her face, those words didn’t dent her stubbornness on the subject. “I don’t get you. Your parents were married for how long? They loved each other, correct?”
“They adored each other.”
“Then you have a model to pattern.” Getting more irritated with her by the minute, he stood up, walked to the bank of windows on the west side of the loft. Staring out at the night sky, he stuck his hands in his pockets before he turned back to her. “We love each other. We’re living together. We get along well. Explain this to me where I can understand it. Because your unwillingness to tell me is starting to piss me off. Twice now I’ve gone into a jewelry store to buy a ring only to walk out without it. Mainly because this wedge you keep putting up between us right here.” With his hands now free, he waved at the imaginary wall in front of him.
“We’ve only known each other a few months.”
Josh bristled at the words. “So that’s it? We haven’t known each other long enough? Okay. But you won’t even discuss a wedding down the road. You’re dragging your feet about the future, Skye. For God’s sake, we can almost read each other’s thoughts. What more do you want?”
Without answering him, she pushed her hair back from her face and got up to go into the kitchen.
But Josh yelled at her back. “We aren’t done with this yet.” Just as obstinate, he followed her through the swinging door. “What the hell else is bothering you?” When she remained quiet, he grumbled, “Why do I keep begging someone to marry me who obviously doesn’t want to?”
“That isn’t true.”
“Then what the hell is going on with you?” he shouted.
“There’s no need to raise your voice to me.”
“Skye, this is bugging me.
You’re
bugging me.” At the first sign of waterworks, he closed his eyes to keep them from affecting the equation, putting him at a disadvantage. But when Skye’s tears became sobs, he couldn’t stand it any longer. He closed the distance, wrapping her up. “What
is
wrong? Tell me.”
“I’m not comfortable here, okay?” Skye finally admitted.
“I told you we’d get rid of the damned loft and get a house in the country where you can spread out if you want, grow stuff.”
“It isn’t that simple.”
“Oh, I can see that. Nothing ever is with you,” Josh grumbled.
“You couldn’t possibly be in love with me. You only think you are.”
“What?” He set her back, snagged her chin so he could look into her watery eyes. “Where is this coming from?”
“I’m not lovable. You keep telling me that you love me and I keep saying the words back to you, but I don’t fit into your world here, Josh. This is all like Cinderella or something. My parents were middle class. I spent five years in Yakima with people who treated me like I was worthless—”
He narrowed his eyes. “That’s bullshit and you know it. Is this some sort of mood swing—or something else? I thought you were past those zealots in Yakima. They aren’t worth your time. They certainly aren’t worth calling them family. No, there’s something else in play here, Skye. Level with me.”
“I’m losing Kiya,” Skye stated flatly. “I’ve lost my spirit guide—to you.” When she recognized the hurt on his face, she quickly added, “
It’s okay. I felt it happening several months back. I’m not the same. You aren’t the same. You and I are connected through Kiya. But Kiya is more yours now than mine. And something else is bothering me. If everything could change in one leap, one transformation like it has, this whole thing between us might not last. It might not even be real. There might be something else at play.”
“You’re kidding? Like what exactly? Where are you getting this stuff? That’s ridiculous.” But when he realized she was serious, he thought for a minute. “You mean you think what we feel for each other
is due to some kind of outside force because of the merge between human and wolf? That’s bullshit.”
“How can you be so sure?”
“For one thing I know what’s in my heart for you, my very human heart. But I see now you’re your losing your spirit guide is at the bottom of this. Let me get this straight, you aren’t able to see victims the way you could before—at all? As in a blank screen.”
“Pretty much.
I get a weak image every now and again. But it’s not the same as it was. Besides, I told you Kiya’s spirit is stronger in you than it ever was in me.”
Josh let her go so he could pace, back and forth, back and forth. “As bad as I hate to admit this, Nakota might’ve been right. Having Kiya’s blood coursing through my veins has strengthened me, but weakened your wolf instincts. Where you had Kiya all these years, in the process of saving my life, we’ve affected your path, apparently sapped what used to be so strong in you to virtually nothing.” He frowned, scrubbed at the stubble on his chin. “Over the past few months Kiya and I bonding has somehow managed to change your destiny.” He took out his cell phone. “
Which means we need to get Nakota’s input on this. He’ll know what to do to get your spirit guide back on track.”
“You think so?”
“Hey, don’t give up now. We’ll fix this. We have to get you back on the course you were meant to walk. Otherwise this lack of sight will affect everything around you. Like how you feel about me. I had no idea you were questioning what you felt.”
“I love you, Josh. I just feel different without Kiya.”
“Understandable. It explains a few things.”
“You mean that?”
“If I’m inviting Travis Nakota to have dinner here, I’m pretty sure, I mean it,” Josh admitted with a grin and a wink as he punched in a number on his cell phone he’d added to speed dial.
T
here were times when dealing with “family” could be a pain. Sitting down to dinner and spending an evening with Travis Nakota wasn’t exactly high on Josh’s wish list. But the man was as close to family as Skye had. That alone was enough to force him to be nice to Travis for the sake of the woman he loved. And now that they needed the man’s help again, this time to figure out why Skye had lost her “power of sight” along with the spirit guide she’d had all her life, wasn’t something Josh could ignore.
And he didn’t want to. It was obviously weighing Skye down enough to trouble her. They’d already waited months for the transformation to level out. It hadn’t. It was time to try to get answers. Travis might be the key.
Plus, it gave Skye a good excuse to make use of his gourmet kitchen to the max. She’d been busting her ass all day preparing appetizers, a four-course meal, and some kind of creamy custard for dessert she refused to let him sample.
The aromas coming from the oven were distracting him from doing any work at home on a Sunday. When the buzzer sounded, letting him know a guest was in the lobby downstairs, Josh got up from his desk chair to answer.
“How long do I have to stand down here?” Travis grumbled.
Josh sighed, not looking forward to facing several hours of the infamous Nakota chip. But he pressed the buzzer to allow him access. “Come on up.”
Josh met the gruff man at the elevator. He almost didn’t recognize him. His hair was down instead of gathered back into his usual ponytail. Neatly dressed in a pair of dark jeans and a white dress shirt, Travis held a fistful of pink roses.
Josh stuck out his hand in greeting.
“Aw, for me? You really shouldn’t have.” Josh could tell Travis had a hard time holding back a grin. That was a start he supposed. Cocking his head toward the buds that had yet to fully open, Josh went on to offer, “Want me to take those?”
Travis clasped Josh’s outstretched hand and the two men eyed each other with lingering mutual mistrust hanging in the air. Things weren’t about to change overnight between the two men. But when Skye appeared an unspoken pact had them heading to neutral corners for the next several hours.
All smiles now, Josh watched as Travis morphed into a gentle father figure. As Travis reached out to hug Skye though, images blasted at Josh’s brain. He caught several rapid-fire glimpses from the past. A ghost-like image flickered for a moment. Then, like a sudden flare out of nowhere, images raced toward Josh even harder, faster. They were so strong, packed such a punch, he thought he might lose his balance. Like a camera lens going off with a flash device to capture the best light, the series of pictures became as crystal clear to him as though he were flipping through a photo album.
Josh had seen shots of Jodi Cree, Skye’s mother. Now he saw the woman again. But he wasn’t quite prepared to witness the affection between Travis Nakota, the man standing two feet away from him, and what was happening with Skye’s mother. Somewhere in the montage, Jodi Cree and Travis had been talking about the birth of their child,
their
child’s future.
Dumbfounded, Josh tried to reel in his emotions. He needed to sit down.
It was tough to mask what he was feeling toward the man now. On automatic though, Josh followed Skye and Travis into the kitchen. But for him, what he’d seen remained with him. And when he took the time to replay the last five months, a ton of things clicked into place.
First and foremost, Travis’s role of overprotective father figure became clear because that’s what he was, Skye’s father, her
biological
father. Now, as Josh thought back to the way Travis had acted from the first moment he’d laid eyes on the man, all Travis’s resentment, made sense.
Travis Nakota was Skye’s real father. Josh couldn’t shake that one fact.
How the hell had she missed that flashing neon sign? And why hadn’t Kiya clued her in to her heritage years earlier? Could that be one reason why Skye’s destiny seemed to be changing?
All through dinner the questions kept Josh from tasting the food.
Which was a damned shame since Skye had outdone herself with the meal. Even the normally sedate Travis went on and on about the way Skye had grilled the salmon to perfection.
Even when the talk turned to the killer who kept Seattle’s women gripped in fear, Josh couldn’t engage. He listened to the back and forth as if he were standing at one end of a tunnel.
As far as Josh was concerned he felt like he’d been transported to soupy fog and struggled to see anything beyond several inches in front of him.
The awkwardness Josh felt didn’t abate by the time Skye served a delicious cappuccino crème
brûlée for dessert and poured coffee.
Any other time, Josh would’ve enjoyed the French custard, but now he couldn’t even taste it. He glanced at the woman sitting across from him, easily chatting with the man who’d fathered her. What the hell would she do when she found out?
Josh didn’t even want to consider the possibilities. He stared over at Travis, who was relating about his latest horse acquisition as if nothing was amiss.
When it came to cleanup duty, Josh and Travis went through the motions together, making small talk, or trying to. From horses to the Native American paintings done by Ty Moon, the topics stayed light and safe. In fact, Josh found himself postponing the inevitable. Retiring to the living room for a more detailed discussion about what was happening to Skye’s abilities suddenly became something he very much wanted to put off.
But after loading the last spoon and fork in the dishwasher, Skye tugged him into exactly that. It was, after all, the reason Travis was there in the first place.
While Travis and Skye got comfortable on the sofa, Josh could not. The shock of it all still hadn’t worn off. Ten percent of him paced like a caged wolf in front of the bank of windows, uncomfortable in his own surroundings, in his own home.
The minute Skye excused herself to go to the bathroom, Josh turned to confront Travis.
“What the hell’s wrong with you?” Travis barked. “You’ve been rude since I walked in here. You haven’t said two words all evening.”
“Me?” Josh tossed back, jingling the change in his pants pocket. He leaned forward and said in a low voice, “Do you ever intend to tell Skye the truth about her parentage?”
Josh thought he saw Travis go pale or as close to it as he’d probably ever see.
“What exactly do you think you know?” Travis snarled.
Josh raised an eyebrow in challenge. “You think it’s invisible, that I don’t pick up on the secret you’re keeping? I guess you really don’t understand the transformation in me yet or those wolf tendencies I now possess in spades. You should know though. You’re the one who warned me what it involved. If you don’t come clean with Skye soon—”
“You’ll do what?” Travis pointed a finger at Josh’s chest. “Do not threaten me.”
“The woman I love has no idea of her true father. Don’t you think she deserves to know? How long do you intend to deny her the fact that her father is alive and standing right in front of me?”
“Do you think I like living this lie? Do you think I haven’t wanted to confess before now?” Travis ran a hand through his loose hair in frustration before folding into the nearest chair. “I’ve been tempted to tell her no less than a dozen times since she came to live in Seattle at eighteen. Hell, I even drove down to Yakima once, the day before her sixteenth birthday, determined I’d come clean to her then and there. But once I got to the crazy aunt and uncle’s house, I couldn’t even get out of my damned truck to make the walk up to the front door. My knees were shaking, my palms were sweating.”
Josh blinked in surprise. The man standing in front of him didn’t look like he’d scare so easily—which told Josh a lot. All he had to do was look at the nerves emanating off the horse breeder and it had Josh feeling a measure of sympathy. But that didn’t do a thing to help Skye. “Why? Why keep this? It’s obvious, you and Skye’s mother—”
Travis stood up and thrust out a pointed finger in Josh’s direction again, this time more fierce. He raised his voice. “You don’t know a damned thing about it.”
“That’s right and neither does Skye.”
“It isn’t what you think. Oh hell. Don’t you see? I made a promise to Daniel and Jodi I’d take this lie to my grave. But now…you’re right, of course. Skye needs to know.”
“Know what?” Skye said from across the room. “What do I need to know? What did you promise mom and dad?”
Travis let out an audible sigh that filled the loft. “Sit down, Skye. I might as well get this over with and tell it one time. I don’t want to have to go through it twice.”