Slow Burn (23 page)

“It is,” he said. “It’s true.”

“Please...”

“Hold on,” he said. “I think I hear Knox in the other room.” He got to his feet and wandered out of the kitchen. There was a gunshot.

Dixie started to cry again.

I got up and began to walk with her, rocking. “We have to do something about the baby, Griffin.” As soon as he got through whatever he was going through, he’d be okay again. He was only grieving. He was only blaming himself. Obviously, Beth had been very important to him. Maybe if I could distract him, get him moving again, then he’d start to snap out of it sooner.

“Do whatever you want with the baby.”

“We should take her somewhere.”

“You take her somewhere,” he said.

“I need you to come with me.”

He appeared back in the kitchen. There was more blood on his skin and clothes. “I’m not going anywhere. Don’t be ridiculous. I’ve got Knox here to play with. And let’s face it,
doll
, this is no place for a baby.”

He mocked his pet name for me, made it sound stupid and sordid.

I bit my lip. Could I do this without Griffin? “Where should I go?”

“A hospital or something. There’s got to be someplace you can take a baby.”

Maybe if I left for a little bit, when I came back, he’d be better. Less freaked out. He was scary now, and I supposed that I didn’t really think I liked the idea of being around him. So maybe I should go.

“You saved this baby,” I said. “Maybe you didn’t save Beth, but you saved the baby. Are you sure you don’t want—”

“Get it away then,” he said. “I might kill it.”

“You would never—”

“Things I try to keep safe die,” he said. “I won’t be able to keep you safe either. You’ll die too.”

“You can’t know what’s going to happen.”

“You should both get away from me,” he said. “You and Dixie. Get the flying fuck as far away from me as you possibly can.”

“If I take Dixie someplace, I’m coming back.”

“You shouldn’t,” he said.

“Well, I will,” I said.

“Don’t,” he said. “I don’t want you too. I want you to get away from me, because you’d be better off without me. I can’t keep you from getting hurt. I only make it worse.”

“I’m coming back,” I said. “Because I love you, Griffin Fawkes.” Oh God. I’d just said that out loud, hadn’t I?

He flinched, as if I’d just punched him. For one moment, I saw something soft swimming to the front of his expression, the old him coming back. But then the stoniness slammed back down in its place. He laughed harshly. “That’s pretty idiotic of you, isn’t it?”

“This child is too old to be taken in under the Safe Haven law.” The woman at the desk in the hospital was chewing gum. She had on cat-eye glasses, like a cafeteria worker from the 1950s. “You can only drop off unwanted babies up to seven days after they’re born.”

Dixie was sleeping in my arms. Her mouth was open, and she looked so peaceful. “Look, it’s not really that she’s unwanted. It’s just that her mother is dead.”

“You’re not the mother of the baby?”

“No,” I said.

“Then you have no legal right to leave the baby anywhere. Only the parent can do that.”

Was the woman deaf? “But her mother’s dead. She’s an orphan.”

“What do you mean her mother’s dead?”

What did I mean? “I mean she’s no longer alive.”

The woman glared at me as if I were particularly stupid. “I mean, how do you know the mother is dead?”

“Well...” What was I supposed to say here? The activities of Op Wraith were not within the confines of legality, but they were powerful, rich, and connected enough that they were able to make sure the law looked the other way. Would admitting I knew something about a crime make me get detained or something?

“The reason I ask,” she said, “is that in most situations, there would be someone official available on the scene of the death of a young mother. Someone who would know to call the proper people within Child Services—”

“So, you’re saying that I need to take the baby to Child Services?”

“I’m saying that I don’t understand why you’re carrying around a baby whose mother is dead.” She cracked her gum. “Look, sweetheart, if it really is your baby, there’s no reason to lie that the mother’s dead.”

“It’s not my baby,” I said. Did I look like a woman who’d given birth within the past few months? I didn’t think so.

“How’d the mother die?”

I hesitated.

“That’s what I thought,” she said. “Look, you can’t drop the baby off out of nowhere at that age. You’ll need to actually go through the legal steps to put the baby up for adoption.”

“I can’t do that,” I said. “I don’t have the time.”

“What?” said the woman. “You got some new boyfriend who wants to whisk you away, but not if you still have a baby?”

“She’s not my baby!” I yelled.

Lots of people in the hospital lobby looked up.

A woman in flower-printed scrubs came over to me. She was probably a nurse, I thought. “Hi there,” she said in a soothing voice. “You want to tell me what’s going on?”

“That kid’s too old for Safe Haven,” said the woman behind the counter.

The nurse smiled at her. “Yes, thanks, Deloris. You’re very good with understanding the law. I appreciate that.” She turned to me. “Come with me for a minute so that we can talk.” She led me to a waiting area. We sat down on seats with vinyl cushions. “Now, are you trying to drop off this baby under the Safe Haven law?”

“I don’t know what that is,” I said. “This baby’s mother is dead, and rather than leave her alone with a dead body, I tried to find someplace to take her. But I guess I can’t do that.” I rubbed my face. “But I can’t take care of her. I don’t know anything about babies, and I’m not in a position where a baby would even be safe around me, and—”

“It’s okay,” said the nurse. “Calm down.” She patted my shoulder. “Was the mother killed? Violently?”

Was I supposed to lie? I didn’t say anything. I fidgeted with the bib that Dixie was wearing.

“I see,” said the nurse. “Why didn’t you call the police?”

“It wouldn’t have helped,” I said.

“Did you know the person who killed her?”

“No,” I said.

She gave me a disapproving look. “I’m not here to get anyone in trouble.”

I didn’t say anything.

She reached out her arms. “You want to give me the baby?”

“You’ll take her?” I said.

“I’ll make sure that someone does, yes,” she said.

I handed Dixie over. She murmured in her sleep, but thankfully, stayed still.

“Listen,” said the nurse. “I appreciate that you came here with the baby today. That was a good thing to do. But if your boyfriend or husband is involved in something illegal, like a gang or some other kind of organized crime, and he routinely puts you in situations like this, then you need to know that there are places you can go that will help you. Even if he has all the money, and you have nowhere else to live. You can get away from him.”

I shook my head. “It’s not like that.”

“Even if he isn’t responsible directly for the death of the baby’s mother,” she said. “He still put you in a violent situation.”

“No,” I said. “It wasn’t him.”

“You do have a boyfriend,” she said.

I got up. “I have to go.”

“No matter how sweet he seems at other times,” she said, “underneath all of it, you have to realize what he’s capable of.”

“Really,” I said. “You’ve got it all wrong. There’s no gang or anything like that.” I turned and walked, afraid I’d said too much as it was.

I took the T back to Beth’s apartment.

When I got there, I noticed that the car Griffin had stolen from Nantucket was gone. I thought that was a little strange. My clothes had been in there. Not that I had a lot of clothes. My packing skills when we left Thomas had not been top notch. I went up the stairs to the apartment. The door was unlocked.

“Griffin,” I called as I went inside.

No answer.

The living room was empty. The bodies that had been in there were gone, including Knox. Someone had cleaned up the blood on the walls too. The carpet was still stained, but the furniture had been rearranged to cover most of it. At first glance, I’d never have known what had happened in here.

I went into the kitchen. My duffel was sitting on the kitchen table, holding down a note and a wad of cash.

I picked up the note. “Leigh,” it said. “Here’s some money. You’ll be better off without me. I’d only let you down in the end.”

It wasn’t signed.

I set the note back down.

Beth’s words echoed back to me, from days ago.
He will abandon you, just like he abandoned me.

At first I couldn’t believe it. After everything Griffin had done for me, after all the promises he’d made me. He wouldn’t do this. He wouldn’t leave me on my own with no idea where to go or how to take care of myself.

But he had.

Obviously, losing Beth had been really hard on him. If I were with him, maybe I could help, but...

Then I was angry. He shouldn’t have done this to me. I’d followed him all over the place, done everything he asked, completely changed my life for him. How dare he leave me alone?

I snatched the money, stuffed it in my pocket, took my duffel bag, and stalked out of the apartment. This was fine, really. I’d been on my own before Griffin showed up. I could do it again. I didn’t need him. I didn’t need anyone. That was the way my life worked, anyway. I took care of myself. I’d been doing that ever since I was a little girl, and I could do it now.

I made my way back to the T. I wasn’t sure where I was going yet, but it wasn’t like I didn’t know my way around Boston. I had money, since Griffin had given me the cash, and I could find someplace to stay for the night while I figured it out. Maybe I’d end up back in Nantucket in the house we’d been in. That had seemed safe.

A guy bumped into me as I was getting on the train. He accidentally brushed against my breast, turned bright red, and said he was really sorry.

I was too mad to reassure him. For all I knew, he’d done it on purpose.

I pushed farther into the train, away from him. But I shouldn’t have worried. He got off on the next stop.

Two minutes later, I reached into my pocket and realized the cash that Griffin had given me was gone.

The guy had taken it, of course. Touching my boob had been a good distraction. I hadn’t even noticed I was being pick-pocketed.

I sank down onto one of the hard seats on the train. This was bad.

Griffin was gone. I was alone. I had no money. There were people after me who wanted to kill me, and they probably knew I was in Boston since they’d almost gotten us at Beth’s apartment. What the hell was I going to do with myself?

I sat there, stunned, the reality of the situation really penetrating my brain. Things were not good. Not good at all. I was in very bad trouble.

Without money, I had nowhere to sleep. I couldn’t get back to Nantucket. I couldn’t get anything to eat. I was screwed.

And I wasn’t angry anymore.

I don’t know if there are words to describe the emotion I felt. I was terrified. I was devastated. I was hurt and betrayed. But mostly, I felt numb, like I’d been dipped in ice water and lost the feeling in my limbs. I knew I should be feeling something, but I wasn’t feeling anything. I was frozen and unable to move forward.

I sat in my daze for a long time. I don’t know quite how long, but the T kept making stops, and people kept getting on and off. I watched them, and time passed, and I still didn’t feel anything.

After a while, my brain started to clumsily try to figure out what I was going to do. I needed food and shelter first, and I needed to be someplace safe, where they wouldn’t be able to get to me.

I doubted there was anywhere safe, not really.

But an apartment building with security was probably the best bet that I had.

Axel’s apartment had security.

We hadn’t parted on especially good terms. I knew that. He’d actually been a total ass to me. But I didn’t have a lot of choices. In fact, if he was angry with me because of the way that I’d acted, I was going to have to grovel.

I had nowhere else to go.

Chapter Fifteen

But when I got there, Axel was asleep. He stumbled out of bed to let me in and told me to take the guest room. “You look awful, babe,” he said, giving me a hug and kiss on the cheek. “We’ll talk later.”

I didn’t know when I had slept last. I didn’t even know what time it was.

I realized that everything that had happened with Beth had just been this morning.

Right.

A few hours and my whole life was ruined and destroyed. That seemed to be a running theme with me lately.

I fell into the bed in Axel’s guestroom gratefully and slept for hours.

When I woke up, it was dark outside, and Axel was standing over my bed with a spoonful of blow. “Need a pick-me-up?”

I sat up, shaking my head. “No more coke.” I needed my head clear. Doing it only made me want more coke. It fucked me up considerably.

Axel shrugged. “Your call.” He snorted it himself. “Get yourself in the shower, chica. We’re going out.”

“Out?” I said. I thought Axel would be angry with me because of the way I’d left. He didn’t seem to care at all.

“Yeah,” he said. “I bought this little club, and I want to show it off. Plus, you can tell me all about why you appeared on my doorstep looking disheveled.”

“You bought a strip club?” I said. It was called The Golden Key, and it was a classy looking place with dark wood accents and low mood lighting. The girls inside were all wearing turn-of-the-century corset things.

“It’s a burlesque gentleman’s club,” he said, leading me over to a table in the corner. It was circular with red velvet padding on the seat.

“Does your dad know?”

He sat down. “Of course my father knows. If I make a go of this place, then he’s going to trust me with bigger amounts of investment money. This is all the beginning, Leigh.”

I peered around at the place. There were three stages, each in separate parts of the room, all of various sizes. The largest was front and center. There were two women writhing up there on poles. The other stages were full as well. “What’s the difference between a burlesque gentleman’s club and a strip club?” I asked.