Small Town Girl (28 page)

Busted.

I sighed. I didn’t want to lie to him
anymore. I was tired of the lies. I just wanted an open dialogue between us. I
couldn’t move forward without it.

“When I came home from brunch, you were
gone,” I said. “And Flor wouldn’t tell me where you were.”

“I don’t usually tell her where I’m
going,” he said, growing defensive.

“After the whole Ava thing…I just got
worried,” I admitted. “I had to see for myself.”

“Did you find what you were looking for?”
He asked. His voice was dry.

“Yep,” I replied. “Sure did.”

And then, with perfect timing, my
navigation kicked back on. It was as if it had never been broken in the first
place. I hung up on Hudson, fought back the tears, swallowed the dry lump in my
throat, and typed Alec’s address into the system.

***

“Brynn, what are you doing here?” Alec
said as I stood in front of the door to his condo. “Couldn’t get enough of me
at brunch this morning?”

I opened my mouth to speak, but I
couldn’t. I couldn’t bring myself to speak of what had just happened.

“Talk to me,” he said as he pulled me in
and shut the door. “Go sit down. Do you want something to drink?”

I shook my head no, still unable to
verbalize a damn thing.

“Did something happen with Ava? Hudson?”
he asked.

I nodded. We were now playing Twenty
Questions.

“Did you and Hudson break up?” he asked.

I shrugged my shoulders as if to say I
just didn’t know.

“Okay, you need to talk to me, honey,” he
said. “I’m too old for this guessing game nonsense.”

He crossed his arms and took a seat next
to me, studying my eyes.

“All men are pigs,” I sobbed. “No
offense.”

“Oh, honey, none taken,” he smirked as he
waved his hand. “What happened though?”

“I just want to understand,” I said.
“Nothing makes sense.”

“What? What doesn’t make sense?” I could
tell he was growing frustrated with me. My thoughts were a little all over the
place, and naturally so were my words.

“Everything was going so well for us,” I
said as I reached for a tissue from his coffee table and dabbed my eyes. “I
came home from brunch today expecting to see him, but he was gone. I drove out
to Malibu – “

“You drove out to Malibu?” He interrupted
me. “Don’t tell me you went to Ava’s house…”

I nodded.

“And Hudson’s car was there,” I said.
Just saying those words made my lip tremble, but I managed to fight it off.
“What was he doing there, Alec?”

He looked just as perplexed as me, and I
could tell he didn’t want to say anything to make me feel worse.

“I just don’t understand,” I said.

“Don’t even try.” He put his hand on my
knee. “Trying to understand will only make you feel worse. Have you talked to
him? Does he know you saw him?”

“Yeah,” I said. “He knows alright.”

“And what did he say?”

“I didn’t even give him a chance to
explain,” I said. “He always manages to tell me what I want to hear, and I go
running back to him every time. I didn’t give him the chance this time. I just
hung up on him.”

Alec pursed his lips and breathed loudly
through his nose. He felt sorry for me. Anyone else would’ve known better than
to get involved with someone like Hudson, but not the poor little naïve country
girl from Iowa. He probably saw this whole mess coming from a mile away.

“What am I supposed to do?” I asked him.
“I don’t want to go back home. But I can’t stay here either.”

“And why can’t you stay here?” he asked.
To him, L.A. was the center of the universe.

“I can’t afford to live here,” I huffed.
“I don’t have a single penny to my name. Hudson pays for everything.”

Alec pursed his lips again and looked
deep in thought.

“You can stay with me for a little bit
until you get on your feet,” he offered after much deliberation.

It was as the sun had just broken through
the clouds, and I realized that things didn’t have to be so shitty. Nice people
did exist, and Alec was one of them.

“Are you serious?” I asked him. “You
don’t have to do that for me.”

“I want to,” he said. “Besides, I was
thinking of hiring an assistant.”

“An assistant?” I asked. “But I don’t
know anything about styling people.”

“Brynn, give yourself a little more
credit,” he laughed. “You’ve come a long way, and there’s so much more I can
teach you. In the meantime, you can sort of be my gopher. Steam clothes. Make
appointments. Accompany me to job sites. Be my little bitch.”

I smiled for the first time all
afternoon.

“I don’t pay much,” he said. “We’ll start
you off at forty.”

“Forty?” I asked.

“Forty thousand. A year,” he said.

“F-forty thousand dollars?” I asked,
unsure if I’d heard him right.

“Yeah,” he said. “Wish I could give you
more than that.”

“No, no,” I said. “That’s perfectly
fine.”

His salary offer was a far cry from the
three bucks an hour plus tips I used to make back home.

“I don’t have benefits,” he said. “Or
paid time off.”

“That’s fine,” I said, still in shock
from his salary offer.

“Brynn,” he said as he locked eyes with
me. “We’re friends. Don’t make me regret this.”

“Never,” I said as I threw my arms around
him and gave him the biggest bear hug.

Moving on without Hudson was going to be
hard, but for the first time in my life I was going to have a real career. I
could make something of myself. I vowed to myself never to become dependent on
a man ever again.
For anything.
I never wanted to feel
that way again.

“Your phone’s ringing,” Alec pointed to
my bag. I must have tuned out the
vibrating
as I was
lost in thought.

I reached in and pulled out the shiny,
glass phone. It was Hudson.

“It’s Hudson,” I said, shooting Alec a
look of annoyance. I pressed the “ignore” button and threw the phone back in my
purse.

Reality smacked me on the face the moment
I woke up Tuesday morning. With a headache reminding me that Alec and I had
drank too much the night before and a crick in my neck from passing out on the
sofa, I knew my life had officially veered in a completely different direction
from just twenty-four hours ago.

My stomach growled, but I was too afraid
to go ransacking Alec’s cabinets for something to eat. We were good friends,
but we weren’t that close. It didn’t seem right, and the last thing I wanted to
do was be that annoying
house guest
who makes
themselves too much at home. He was the only thing I had in that town. I didn’t
want to go wearing out my welcome quite yet.

I ventured out past the sliding glass
doors that led to his little five by seven balcony. Below the jarring symphony
of traffic sounds and people starting their day was a sad replacement for the
chirping birds and waterfall sounds of Hudson’s back yard.

As I took a seat on one of the balcony
chairs, I couldn’t get comfortable. I leaned from side to side and repositioned
myself before realizing my phone was in my back pocket. I whipped it out,
trying to talk myself out of checking for messages, but
I
couldn’t not look
. It was right there.
On the screen.
Eleven missed calls and seven text messages all from Hudson.

I smiled, though I shouldn’t have. I
needed to move on. I needed to close that chapter. I could never be with a man
who wasn’t completely honest with me, no matter how wonderful he treated me.
Nice cars, fancy clothes, and extravagant dinners were no substitute for the
things that made a relationship solid. Things like honesty, fortitude, and
openness – those were the things that were worth their weight in gold.

“Hey, what are you doing out here?” It
was Alec. He looked adorable in his silky pajamas and his messy bedhead hair.
He slipped some black sunglasses over his squinty eyes. “I didn’t see you on
the couch when I got up. Thought for a minute you went back to Hudson.”

“No,” I laughed. “Still here…”

“When are you going to go get your
things?” he asked as he took a seat next to me.

I half expected him to hand me a mug of
tea or something. I’d been spoiled. And I chided myself for forgetting my
roots. I was so used to being waited on hand and foot. It wouldn’t be long
before that lifestyle would be a distant memory.
A small blip
on my timeline.

“All those things,” I said. “They don’t
belong to me. He bought them. I don’t have anything over there that’s really even
mine.”

“He bought them for you,” Alec argued.
“Therefor they are yours.”

“I don’t want to see him,” I said. “Not
yet. He’s just going to talk me into staying.”

“Stay strong, sister,” he said with a
playful nudge. “Get your things and get going. Don’t stay and chat.”

“Yeah,” I said. I didn’t see that
scenario being that easy though. I was always powerless around Hudson. Those
lips. Those eyes. Those hands. His words. He was my kryptonite.

“Can you do me a favor?” Alec asked.

“Of course. Anything.”

“Please don’t tell him I took you in,” he
said. “I really don’t want to lose him as a client.”

“He knows you’re, like, the only friend I
have out here,” I said. “He’s not dumb. He’ll figure it out.”

Alec’s shoulders drooped.

“He’s not going to sabotage your career
if that’s what you’re worried about,” I said. “He’s not a vindictive person.
He’s not Ava.”

Alec shuddered. “Her name literally gives
me the chills. She’s such an icy cold bitch.”

I laughed and leaned my head against his
shoulder.

“I guess I should head over there and get
it over with.” I stood up and stretched. My heart pounded at the mere thought
of seeing him again. Alec was right though. I had to be strong. I had to stand
my ground with him.

***

The hot leather of the white Mercedes
nearly burned my skin as I headed back towards Brentwood. From stoplight to
stoplight, I touched up my makeup and slicked my hair up into a messy
top knot
. I chewed gum like it was my job. I knew I looked a
hot mess.

Nervousness and anxiety flooded through
me as I approached his street and pulled into his driveway. I pulled up to the
key code box and punched in the code. Nothing. I tried it again. Nothing. It
hadn’t even been half a day and Hudson had already changed the code to the gate
and locked me out of the house.

It seemed so unlike him. Hudson was
usually so benign. Part of me assumed he still wanted me back, so it didn’t
make sense that he’d change the code and essentially keep me away.

I pulled out and turned back down the
street to head back to Alec’s. I was going to need a pay advance so I could
build up a new wardrobe. Or at least get some toothpaste and clean underwear.
The clothes on my back were officially all I had.

***

I turned right at the stoplight down the
road from Hudson’s house, only to pass by Hudson himself. He was sitting at the
light, waiting to turn left, and he spotted me immediately. We made eye contact
for just a split second, but that was all it took. In my review mirror, I saw
him pull a u-turn in the middle of the intersection, nearly get hit by oncoming
traffic, and speed up until he was right behind me.

I couldn’t run from him forever. I was
driving on of his cars after all. I pulled off into a nearby parking lot of a
pharmacy chain store with him following behind me. I rolled my window down and
remembered Alec’s words from earlier. I had to be strong.

“Brynn,” he said as he ran out of his car
and came to my window.

He leaned down and rested his hands on
the window ledge. I couldn’t bring myself to look into his eyes. I knew it
would be all over from there if I did. Instead, I stared at the gold Rolex on
his wrist and watched the second hand tick by in slow motion.

“Look at me, Brynn,” he said. I still
couldn’t.

“Do you want your car back?” I asked,
still staring at his watch.

“My car? Brynn, God, no,” he said. “We
can worry about that another time. Where did you stay last night?”

He wasted no time.

“With a friend,” I said.

“I was so worried about you,” he replied.
“I know you don’t know a lot of people here. Sorry I texted and called you so
much.”

He was being so sweet. Hudson was always
sweet though. His sweetness was my biggest weakness. If I
wasn’t
so pissed at him, I would’ve jumped into his arms then and there.

“It’s okay,” I replied. I was already
starting to cave. I could feel it.

“Why were you at Ava’s yesterday?” I
asked the
million dollar
question. My hands glided
over the leather-bound steering wheel, stopping to grip it tightly as I waited
for his response. My palms were sweaty, and I chided myself for asking that
question. He was just going to tell me what I wanted to hear.

The silence went on for too long. It
wasn’t like Hudson to not have an answer for everything. I finally looked up at
him to see what was taking so long, only to see him standing there with his
hands covering his eyes.

“Hudson?” I asked. Was he crying?

He ran his fingers through his dark hair
and took a step back.

“I can’t win with you, Brynn,” he said.
He looked tired. Defeated.
And slightly on the verge of
tears.
“Nothing I ever do is good enough for you.”

“That’s not true,” I said.

“Anytime I try to do something for you,
I’m instantly accused of doing something wrong,” he said. “I give up, Brynn. If
you want me, you know where to find me. But I’m tired of constantly trying to
prove to you that I’m a good guy.”

He threw his hands in the air and walked
backwards, his eyes filled with disappointment. He wasn’t going to fight for
us. Not this time. He wasn’t going to give me a perfect little Hudson
explanation. He wasn’t going to even try.

I’d royally fucked up. At least I was 95%
certain.

I slipped on my sunglasses and watched as
he climbed back into his Range Rover and drove home. It was really over this
time. There was going to be no back and forth banter. No crazy makeup sex. No
Hudson telling me how crazy he was
about me and how he would
do anything to make me happy
.

In the short time that I’d known him,
he’d whisked me away, treated me like a princess, and shown me things I’d never
have seen otherwise. He took me under his wing. Gave me a car worth more than
most people’s salaries. A wardrobe any girl would die for. Jewelry.
Access to his personal trainer and top-notch stylists and industry
professionals.
He put my mom in one of the best treatment centers in the
country. He’d given me the keys to his kingdom and placed the world at my
fingertips. Not once did he ever ask for anything in return except for me to
love him.

Anytime things weren’t perfect or
something came along to rock our beautiful little world together, I’d start an
argument. I’d make an accusation. I’d believe the lies printed in the tabloids
and think about throwing in the towel on Hudson.

“I’m such a fucking asshole,” I said out
loud in the car. I needed to hear it with my own ears. “I’m such a fucking
asshole.”

I’d just ruined the best thing that had
ever happened to me.

As I drove back to Alec’s in Hudson’s
car, wearing clothes Hudson had bought and paid for, and clutching the cell
phone Hudson had given me, I thought about my mom sitting there in that
treatment center. I had no idea how much it was costing him to keep her there,
but I couldn’t expect him to keep paying for it. Not after what I’d done and
not if we weren’t together anymore. He’d given me so much. I wasn’t going to
keep taking from him. I wasn’t that kind of person.

But how was I going to pay for her
treatment? She needed at least another month there, maybe longer.

I pulled up to the stoplight outside of
Alec’s condo and something caught my eye. It was the glimmer of my yellow
diamond ring, sparkling in the late morning sun.

***

I didn’t want to sell it, but it wasn’t
going to do any good sitting in a box, shoved in a drawer somewhere. I had no
idea how much it was worth. If I could just sell it and get enough money to pay
for the rest of my mom’s treatment, I could save up to pay Hudson back for the
ring. I knew he’d understand. And it was going to be a lot easier than asking
him to straight up pay for her treatment after the falling out we’d just had.

 
It was the only thing that made sense,
and it was going to be win-win for everyone.

The box had the name Lorraine something
on it. Lorraine Schultz? Lorraine Smith? No, it was Lorraine Schwartz! That was
the name of the jeweler. I typed it into my navigation system and headed there
immediately.

The only thing I was thinking about was
getting that money so my mom could stay at Paradiso. I wasn’t thinking about
how my hair was sticking up like a crazy person or about how I hadn’t brushed
my teeth yet that morning or how my eyeliner was smudged below my eyes.

In yesterday’s clothes, I marched
straight into the jewelry store and up to a sales associate in a navy sport
coat with slicked back silver hair. He glanced at me and then did a double
take. I was sure to him I looked like a homeless person.

“I need to return something,” I said as I
slid the canary band off my finger and clinked it down on the glass counter.

He picked it up, looked at it, and then
looked at me.

“This is definitely one of ours,” he said
with a sigh, as if he were sad to see it returned. “Are you not happy with this
piece?”

“No, it’s not that,” I said staring
longingly at it. It was a gorgeous piece, but it didn’t mean anything anymore.
“I got it from a boyfriend. We broke up.”

“I see,” he said. He didn’t quite believe
me. “Let me look up the sale in the system. What was his name?”

“Hudson Smith,” I mumbled. Keeping my
voice down was the best way not to cause a scene. My humble appearance had
already caused a scene of its own. I didn’t need another one.

“I’ll be right back,” the salesman said
as he trotted off with the ring and went to a back room.

As I waited, I glanced around the store.
Sparkling baubles under clear glass displays, highly attractive staff, and
subtle, elegant music that mewed lightly from the speakers created the perfect
storm of simplistic sophistication. This place oozed money and status, and I
didn’t belong in there. Not anymore.

The salesman came back after several long
minutes with a pained look on his face. If I could just get a few thousand out
of it, I’d have been happy. I had no idea how much anything in that store was,
but a few thousand would buy my mom a little more time in the treatment
facility.

“I don’t know if you’re familiar with our
return policy,” he began as he handed me a piece of paper with Hudson’s
signature. It was the original sales receipt. “We have an 80% restocking and
return fee.”