Smoke and Fire (10 page)

It was a tiny piece, infinitesimal to the multitude of pieces that was her heart. But it was still a piece.

To be loved so thoroughly made her sigh. There was no doubt Balladyn was an excellent lover. It made Rhi smile as she recalled how completely and utterly he'd loved her.

She'd almost forgotten how it felt to be wanted so desperately, to be desired so fiercely. Now that she remembered, she was going to make certain to never forget again.

All those thousands of years longing for a Dragon King infuriated her. He'd made her look like a fool, but it was her own fault for believing his words of love and forever.

But lies came easily to him.

Rhi refused to dwell any more on him. He'd nearly ruined her chances of finding happiness, and the sad part was that she'd almost let him. But not anymore.

It brought to mind her watcher. He stood behind and to the right. He'd become such a constant that she found herself relying on him—a dangerous thing. Especially since she didn't know why he was following her, or even how he was able to follow her as he did. Nor did she know his name.

He was Fae. Of that she was sure. Light or Dark though, that was the question. If he worked for Balladyn, then her watcher would've left when Balladyn arrived. But he'd remained.

She turned her head to look in his direction. He was constantly veiled, which took an incredible amount of power. Rhi knew because she was able to do the same. The only other Fae who could hold a veil that long was Usaeil, Queen of the Light.

As a previous member of the Queen's Guard, Rhi knew none of them could remain veiled for more than a couple of minutes at a time. Unless they hid the ability, much as she had.

Balladyn's hand touched her lower back right before his Irish accent filled her ears. “What's on your mind, pet?”

“Nothing,” she said and once more looked at the ocean.

“Liar.” There was no heat in his words as he sat up beside her. “Tell me you don't regret this.”

Rhi looked at him and smiled, even as sadness filled her when she saw his red eyes once more. “I don't regret this.”

“But you're not happy about it either.”

“That's not true,” she said and turned toward him.

Balladyn touched a strand of her black hair near her face. “I've wanted you for so long. I told myself I'd wait for you to come to me, but I couldn't.”

“If I didn't want what happened between us, I would've stopped it,” she assured him.

“Aye,” he said with a nod. “But was it really me you wanted?”

Rhi gawked at him. Was he serious? Yes, he most certainly was. “Yes, Balladyn. It was you I wanted.”

“Then why are you so sad?”

She swallowed and looked down as his hand took hers, their fingers lacing together. “For a long time I fooled everyone into thinking I had my life under control. It's all been a lie. When you captured me and tortured me—”

“I'm sorry,” he interrupted her.

Rhi paused. The depth of sadness in his words touched her deeply. “Something snapped inside me. Suddenly there was this darkness that felt like it was swallowing my light.”

“That's my fault,” Balladyn said and looked away, desolation lining his face.

Rhi didn't deny the statement.

“I wish I could undo it all.”

She put her other hand atop their joined ones. “I don't. Because of that time I discovered new power within me. Perhaps it was always there and just needed a reason to break loose.”

Balladyn's gaze swung back to her. “You would've found that power eventually. I don't like knowing I hurt you.”

“My life is more out of control now than ever before. I don't know which way is up anymore. I feel like I'm falling, and I'm desperately trying to grab ahold of something.”

“Then hold onto me,” Balladyn said.

She looked into his red eyes, his plea reflected there. Rhi didn't know what the future held, nor did she try and find out. What she did know was that having Balladyn by her side was what she wanted. “I won't turn Dark.”

“I know.”

“But you want to rule the Dark. This will never work between us.”

“Why not give it a try and see?” he asked. “We'll never know if we don't try.”

Rhi lowered her gaze to the white sand. “If anyone ever discovers us, it won't be good.”

“Are you frightened of what the Dragon Kings might say?” he asked in a hard voice.

Her eyes jerked to him. “No. But some of them are my friends, and if they need me, I'll be there for them.”

“And your King?”

Rhi was thankful Balladyn didn't say his name. “He hasn't been mine in eons. He's already moved on.”

Balladyn searched her eyes. “Have you?”

“Yes.”

He leaned forward and gently placed his lips on hers. Then he rested his forehead against hers and sighed. “I've loved you for so long that I feared this would never come to pass. Now that I've had you and tasted you, I'll never get enough.”

Rhi closed her eyes and smiled, even though her heart was heavy. She didn't understand the feeling, nor could she discern what was causing it.

“You're all mine now,” Balladyn whispered.

Rhi's smile grew. “Yes, I am. And you're mine.”

“Nothing will ever tear us apart.”

She lifted her head to look into his eyes. There, just around the edges, the red was fading to a brilliant silver. Rhi didn't mention it. Whatever it was that pulled Balladyn back to the light was enough for her.

Balladyn went to kiss her again, when he turned his head to the side and let out a string of curses.

“What is it?” Rhi asked worriedly.

He blew out a breath. “Taraeth is calling for me.”

“Then go,” she urged. “You're his right hand, Balladyn. Remain that way.”

“Just until I take over as King.”

She gripped his hand when he got to his feet. As she looked up at him, she hated the fear that suddenly enveloped her. “Be careful.”

“Always.”

“You don't have to be king of the Dark.”

He squatted in front of her, a half grin in place. “I most certainly do, my love.”

With a wink, he was gone.

Rhi dropped her hand to the sand. She'd known something was developing between her and Balladyn. He'd professed his love earlier, and she had kissed him a few times.

It was how she found herself thinking of him more and more that pushed her to consider letting go of the past and her Dragon King lover. Before her stood a Fae who was willing to do whatever it took to have her.

Why should she pine for a King who would never give her the time of day again? She'd wasted thousands of years on him. She deserved happiness, to be loved and worshipped, and to have a future.

Rhi stood. Behind her, she felt her watcher's eyes on her. She didn't bother to put clothes on. He'd seen all there was to see of her.

For far too long she'd felt the need to hide herself—her feelings, her wants and desires, dreams and wishes. No longer. She was done pretending. Whether anyone liked it or not, this was who she was.

*   *   *

Daire couldn't take his eyes from Rhi. She was stunning, standing glorious in the moonlight. The breeze lifted her long hair so that it billowed out behind her, as if reaching for him. She stood straight and tall at the foot of the ocean.

Her bronze skin glowed a soft blue from the light of the moon. The only sound was the waves crashing onto shore and the palm trees swaying.

Rhi hadn't spoken since Balladyn's departure. Though Daire smiled when she turned to look his way. She knew he was still there, and she didn't seem to mind.

“Are you judging me?” she asked softly.

Daire knew the question was directed at him. He didn't like that she'd chosen Balladyn, but he understood why. Rhi was like any woman. She needed love and attention. She needed to know that someone wanted and desired her, that someone yearned for her and loved her.

She hadn't gotten it from her Dragon King. It was time she received that attention from someone. Daire wished it had been him, though it was forbidden.

None of the Reapers could have relationships. Well … that was the rule since Death created them—until recently.

He wasn't jealous of Baylon and Jordyn's happiness. In fact, he was glad that one of the Reapers had found some. Jordyn, a half-Fae, was now a Reaper herself, which allowed her and Baylon to be together.

Daire was fine desiring Rhi from afar. She was someone he could never have, and not even Baylon's coupling could give him hope that he might get the same.

Never,
he answered Rhi in his mind. It wasn't his right to judge her—not after all he'd done.

He couldn't talk to her, wouldn't talk to her. Nor was he allowed to show himself. His orders were to follow her wherever she went and determine who she was allied with.

Death saw Rhi as someone important in the upcoming battle, and Daire had to agree. The more he was around Rhi, the more he saw the powerful magic within her.

She might not always make the right decisions, but who did? No one was perfect. What kept Rhi off kilter was the love she had held onto for ages. However, it appeared she was letting go once and for all of whatever hope she had of a life with a Dragon King.

It was the right move, of that Daire was positive. What that would mean for everyone else though, remained to be seen. He didn't think Rhi knew her potential. Yet.

Once she did, it would change the entire landscape of the current war.

Daire walked to stand beside her. He was close enough to touch, but he kept his hands to himself. His gaze slid to the side and looked at her pink-tipped nipples and taut breasts.

He'd seen her being goofy. He'd seen her focused as she shopped for shoes. He'd witnessed her mellow as she got her nails done.

He'd seen her joy, her pain … and her sorrow.

He had witnessed her bravery in battle, and her skill with a sword. He'd watched, mesmerized, as she put herself in harm's way just to help a friend.

It wasn't surprising she was the only female in Fae history to join the Queen's Guard. And she had been one of the very few who walked away from such an honor.

No wonder Death took an interest in Rhi.

 

CHAPTER TWELVE

Ryder stood and watched Kinsey. The minutes ticked by as she slept the sleep of the dead. She'd always had the ability to be able to sleep anywhere, anytime. And once asleep, she was hard to wake.

He briefly thought about taking off her boots, but her reaction when she found him carrying her kept him at the door.

When he lifted her in his arms in the computer room, it had felt as if he finally had what was missing from his life. He'd simply held her as she rested her head on his shoulder, savoring the moment.

It had felt like heaven. Ryder even contemplated lying next to her in bed. Then she had lifted her head and jumped out of his arms as if he were some monster.

Except to her, he was.

And that's what hurt the most.

Ryder looked to the side when he felt someone approach. Dmitri said nothing as he peered inside the room. Ryder knew he should shut the door and back away, but he couldn't make his feet move.

“If you want her, fight for her,” Dmitri said.

Ryder wished it were that simple. “She's terrified of me.”

“She didna look too scared earlier when the two of you were talking.”

“That is until she remembers what I am.”

“Then show her she has nothing to be afraid of,” Dmitri said, as if the solution was so simple even an idiot could figure it out.

Ryder glanced at the ceiling in frustration. Then he said, “I left her.”

“That makes you a proper bastard then.”

Leave it to Dmitri to state it so succinctly. “Aye,” Ryder said. “It does.”

“The two of you had something special. Find it again.”

“She's moved on with her life.”

Dmitri snorted loudly and glared at Ryder. “She doesna have a man. That tells me you still have a chance.”

Did he? Ryder wasn't so sure. “You didna see the way she looked at me when I shifted. Or hear her scream.”

“Give her some slack. She was in a war zone, Ryder.”

“Just now she practically flew out of my arms when she woke to find me carrying her.”

At that, Dmitri twisted his lips. “You might have more work than I expected. But answer me this, do you want her?”

“Aye.”

“Do you love her?”

Ryder nodded. “Verra much so.”

“Is she worth fighting for?”

“In every way.”

Dmitri slapped him on the back. “Then that is what you need to do. Now. Get your ugly arse in there and remove her boots while I get some food for her.”

“Food?” Had Ryder forgotten to feed her?

Dmitri rolled his eyes. “I knew you'd forget. You become focused on those damn computers, and you ignore everything else.”

“No' everything,” Ryder mumbled as Dmitri walked away.

Ryder slowly moved into his room. He hadn't known where else to take Kinsey. As he walked around the four-poster bed stained so dark it was nearly black, he imagined crawling into his bed and having Kinsey curl up next to him like they used to sleep.

It was a fantasy of his from the first time they'd made love. Once he returned to Dreagan and took a look at his bed, it had been impossible to sleep there and not think of her. Which is why he hadn't used his bed in three years.

One of her feet was hanging off the side of the bed. He tenderly grasped one leg and unzipped the boot before tugging it off. He repeated the process on her second foot before placing the boots beside the chair.

Next, he gently gave her a nudge at her side. Kinsey immediately rolled over, allowing him to tug down the comforter.

When he saw her blazer, he knew he had to remove it. Ryder grasped the hem at her wrist and pulled upward at the same time he got her to turn back onto her stomach. One arm fell out of the jacket.