Smoke and Mirrors (42 page)

“So,” Amy murmured by his ear, voice pitched to carry over the roaring and swearing and shrieking behind them. “This is the arm the little old lady chopped off the gardener?”

“One of.” A sharp impact against his shoulder spun him around in time to see Amy shove Adam back into the battle. She apologized and adjusted the angle of the book.

“Kind of makes you wonder who the Addams family chopped Thing off of,” she mused as he continued drawing.

“Hadn't occurred to me.”

“Oh, please. You see a hand chugging around and you don't think Thing? I loved those movies.”

“First one didn't suck. The second . . .”

“The second was brilliant. I mean it so speaks to all us outsiders who were told by brutal authority that sleeping in a cabin with gum chewers and gigglers was for our own good.” When Tony shot her a look of blank incomprehension, she sighed. “You must've had some kind of a camp experience when you were a kid.”

The lipstick left a ridge of color on the floor as he pressed just a little too hard. “I had a couple of friends who were drag queens.”

“That's not what I meant.”

“I know.” He finished the last line of the last symbol, rocked back on his heels and up onto his feet. “I guess we'll know this works if the arm doesn't come back.”

“What if it's heading for the other door?”

“Uh . . .”

Between them and the other door was a roiling mass of bodies. Brianna appeared momentarily above the mix of arms and legs and torsos wrapped around what—given the size and the work boot—could only be Mouse's foot. Tony half expected her to yell “Yee ha!” as she disappeared back into the fray.

“. . . it doesn't move very fast.”

“Good thing,” Amy acknowledged philosophically. “What about your hand?” She lightly touched the pale skin. “It's freezing!”

“No shit.”

“Ghosts need energy to manifest, so the cold is indicative of them sucking power.”

“Yeah, Stephen said something like that earlier.”

“Stick it down the front of your pants.”

“What?”

“Your hand—stick it down the front of your pants. It's the warmest place on your body.”

Footwork Mason would have been proud of kept him from scuffing the pattern as he backed away. “Yeah, and I'd like it to stay that way.”

“Well, you're not sticking it down the front of my pants.”

“Damn right, I'm not.” He stuck it into his right armpit, sucked air through his teeth at the cold and watched as Amy darted forward and dragged Kate out from under Mouse's descending ass just in the nick of time. Kate's snarl was incomprehensible, but the attempted kick in the head with her bound legs was fairly easy to understand.

Amy patted her shoulder. “You're wel . . .”

He lost the end of the word in the next replay. The good news: this time there'd been a little more time between the ballroom and the drawing room. The arm had to be using energy now that it was out of its piece of history so that could be why the replays were spreading out again. The bad news: well, actually that was more of a disturbing question. The gardener had been cut into six pieces. What else was out there moving around?

The plate of little cakes was back on the pantry counter. Last time he'd been here . . .

He couldn't believe he was just standing here when all he wanted to do was tear the house apart looking for Lee.

The familiar sound of duct tape being ripped from the roll accompanied his return to the present pantry and seemed to indicate that the battle was nearly over. The slightly less familiar sound of duct tape being ripped from Mouse's legs—with accompanying bellow—suggested there were still a few loose ends to tie up. And a lot less hair on Mouse's legs.

Light glinted off the ornate, brass candlestick as Sorge raised it above his head. It was on the way down before Tony realized where it was headed and it was close enough to part Mason's hair when he called it to his hand.

“Sorge! Sorge!”

The DP's eyes were wild as he glared first at Peter's hand on his arm and then up at Peter.

“Beating Mason to death is not the answer! Trust me, if it was, I'd have done it months ago!”

“
Il reste toujours alongé de
won't!”

“In English. Please.”

“I say, he won't lie still!” He smacked his palm against Mason's chest. “I make him lie still!” He scanned the room and his eyes locked on the candlestick still in Tony's hand. “Give me that!”

“Sorge, look, the guys have got him taped.”

“Taped?” His brows drew in and he shook his head. “No, we can't tape. The light, she is all wrong.”

“No, no,
duct
tape.”

His focus moved to the bands of gray around the cuffs of tuxedo pants and dress shirt. “Ah.”

Mason craned his head up and stared at the tape as though he was seeing it for the first time. “You can't do this to me! Don't you know who I am? It's all about me! I'm Raymond Dark! You have no show without me!”

“We have no show if you go for a wander and get killed,” Peter told him, shaking out a match to the linen napkin gagging Kate.

“My agent is going to hear about this!”

He was sounding remarkably lucid. Apparently Peter thought so, too, because he paused and peered into Mason's face, napkin ready. “If you lie quietly, I won't gag you.”

“And the tape?”

“The tape stays.”

“Because I've been captured by vampire hunters and I'm lying quietly, listening to their plans.”

Okay, so much for lucid.

“Why not.” Peter pocketed the napkin and patted Mason's shoulder. “Please don't mention that to the writers,” he muttered as he stood. Turned. Frowned down at both techs, Brianna, Zev, and Adam who were sitting on Mouse. “Why isn't
he
taped?”

Saleen held up the empty cardboard roll. “We've got electrical, but it won't hold long enough for us to get enough around him.”

“Wonderful. You couldn't have taped him first?”

“Oh, sure, criticize.” His lower lip went out.

Brianna bounced on Mouse's wrist. “I have to pee!”

“Big surprise the way you sucked back that bottle of water,” Ashley sniffed from within the circle of Tina's arms.

“I have to pee NOW!”

“Fine.” Shoulders squared, a man facing the inevitable, Peter pointed at Tina. “Tina, take the lantern and . . .”

“No!” Ashley tightened her grip. “Mason's gone mental, so Tina stays with me!”

“Whatever, Zev . . .”

But when Zev shifted his weight, Mouse got an arm free. Tears streaming down his face, the big man grabbed the back of Saleen's shorts and very nearly started the whole fight again before Zev wrestled his arm back to the floor.

“All right, Amy, you take Brianna upstairs. Zev, move
carefully
around to hold down both arms. Adam, once Zev's in place, you go with her. Check the bathroom for Lee—maybe he's just taking a piss. Tony, do the lipstick writing in front of the other door.”

“I want Tony to go with me!” Brianna opened her mouth to shriek, but Tony clamped his good hand over it.

“Bite me,” he warned, “and I'll pull your brains out your nose. No more shrieking, the room's too small and everyone's on edge.”

Her nostrils flared dangerously over the edge of his hand, but she nodded. “My father would fire you if you pulled my brains out my nose,” she growled when he uncovered her mouth.

“Yeah? Well, right now, on a scale of one to ten, that's about a minus two. I'll go with you . . .”
Because the needs of little girls trump the needs of possessed actors. I'm sorry, Lee.
“. . . but first I'm securing this room.”

“No,
me
first.”

“You want your sister to be safe, don't you?”

Brianna shot him a look that suggested he was out of his mind, but after a moment reluctantly nodded. “Yeah, whatever.”

He stepped over Mason, and crouched by the other door. The door that led to the kitchen. The door that Lee had gone through when he left. The door he was not charging through, racing off to the rescue.
You can't go after him right now, so try concentrating on the immediate problem.
How long would it take an arm to get around the first floor? Hopefully, a few minutes longer.

“Amy . . .”

And she was there with the book.

No longer distracted by a battle behind him, the copying went a little faster. When he finished, he handed Amy the flattened lipstick. She sighed, capped it, and handed it back.

“Hel-lo! I still gotta pee!”

“Fine.” One hand clamped on her shoulder, Peter gestured toward the supine cameraman with the other. “Tony, take Zev's spot on Mouse. I'll keep Sorge from braining Mason . . .”

“And I do the same for you,” Sorge muttered staring down at Mason who smiled and said, “What the vampire hunters don't know is that it's my show, so it's all about me. It's always all about me.”

Peter nodded at his DP. “Thank you. Zev, go upstairs with Amy and Brianna and Adam.”

Hang on. Tony stepped forward and bumped up against Mason's leg. “I thought I . . .”

“No. You're staying here. I'm not having the boss' youngest daughter escorted through a haunted house by a PA who keeps zoning out. Unless you can protect them with your magic power.”

Man, he just wasn't going to let that go. Tony sighed and surrendered, moving around to where Zev had Mouse's arms laid out over his head with a knee on each forearm and a good grip above the elbow. The moment they got back from the can, he was heading out for the other lantern and the moment after that, they were going to find Lee.

Brianna stomped one bare foot. “I want Tony!”

Peter smiled down at her. “Tough.”

“My father . . . !”

“Isn't here.”

Her brow furrowed and she glanced around the room, gaze finally lighting on her sister.

Ashley's shrug got lost in the depths of Mason's jacket. “He's right. And there's like arms walking around, so stop being such a pissant, Cheese.”

“But Tony said he'd show me the burning baby.” Volume dialed down to a whine. “He promised.”

“You promised?” Tina's head snapped around like a bad horror effect. “You promised to show an eight-year-old a burning baby?”

Although they were a good four feet apart, Tony leaned away from the force of the script supervisor's affronted gaze. “It got her out of the ballroom,” he muttered defensively, then turned his attention to the girl. “Look, Bri, Peter's right.” Probably too late, but it never hurt to suck up. “I can't protect you if I zone out, but I can still be dead weight here.”

“You're not dead!”

“It's a . . . never mind. Zev can show you the baby.”

“No, he cannot!” Tina snarled.

“If I don't see the baby . . .” Volume ratcheted back up again. “. . . you'll all be sorry!”

No one doubted it.

“Show her,” Peter said, eyes rolling.

“You won't be able to see it,” Tony reassured Zev as he choked, “but I'm pretty sure she will.” Given that everyone had seen the hand, it was possible that Zev would also see the baby. Since that hadn't occurred to Zev, Tony wasn't going to bring it up. “Just open the nursery door, give her a three count to look, and then close it. Don't let her go in and don't keep the door open any longer.”

“Do I want to know why?” Zev asked taking Brianna's hand.

“No.” He popped the top off Amy's lipstick with his teeth, and beckoned Brianna closer with his nearly useless left hand. “Pull your apron thing out tight.” He carefully drew the symbol on the fabric. “There, that might help.”

She peered down her nose at it. “With what?”

“I have no idea.”

“Brenda is going to have a fit!” Mason giggled. As all eyes turned on him, he sighed dramatically. “Yes, I know, an out-of-character comment. Unless, of course, one of the vampire hunters' name is Brenda, in which case it's a perfectly valid . . . Hey! Don't stop looking at me! I'm acting here! I'm the star!”

Tony had assumed that the killers were always the ones the house had driven over the edge. If the common urge to brain Mason was any indication, apparently not.

“The kitchen sink's closer than the bathroom,” Amy sighed, taking Brianna's other hand. “Why can't she just pee in that?”

Even Mouse stopped weeping long enough to look appalled.

“What? You've never done it? You're guys; you pee in corners for chrissake!”

“
I
am not a guy,” Tina reminded her, “and this child is not peeing in the sink.”

“But . . .”

“No.”

“What is it with people and bodily fluids?” Amy demanded. “Healthy urine is safe to drink.”

“Why do you know that?” Zev asked as Adam picked up the lantern. He shook his head when it looked like she was about to answer. “Never mind. I don't actually want to know.”

Lantern high, Adam paused, his hand almost to the doorknob. “What if the arm didn't go around to the other door? What if it's waiting in the dining room for this door to open?”