Smoked (12 page)

Present Day—Five Months Later

“So you're sure this won't hurt them?” Scarlet asked, giving Zoe a doubtful look. “You're sure they're big enough now?”

“Are you kidding me?” Caleb grinned. “They're practically the size of Clydesdales.” He slapped Zavier affectionately on his front flank. “And trust me, they're ready. Just look at how excited they are.”

Zavier puffed two twin balls of smoke from his nostrils as if to confirm his guardian's words. And Zoe pranced around, barely able to keep all four feet on the ground as Scarlet attached the makeshift saddle to her back.

“Poor Zoe! Is the mean man calling you fat?” she cooed. “That's no way to speak to a lady!” She shot Caleb a mock offended look. “You go on and tell him, you're just big boned!”

Caleb snorted, turning back to his own big-boned beast and slapping a hand against his left flank. All joking aside, it was hard to believe how fast the two dragons had grown in the last five months. When Emmy had been their age, she'd only been the size of a large dog. Zoe and Zavier were probably double that size now—growing strong and sleek and tall.

At first, the rapid growth had worried him a bit; according to Dracken research, a quick growth spurt could be a sign of hybridity. At the same time, some subspecies of dragons were just quicker to mature than others, so it could have just been something they'd inherited from their unknown father.

Besides, he thought as he secured the saddle to Zavier, if they really were hybrids, they'd be showing other signs by now. Instead, the two dragons were gentle, friendly, with none of the food aggression or antisocial behavior one would expect from hybrids, and they took orders without question. Zoe was a lover, not a fighter, always doting on her brother and making sure he had everything he needed. And Zavier, while fiercely protective of his sister, was a total marshmallow under his tough, ebony scales. In fact, when Caleb had gone and killed a mouse in front of him the other day, the dragon had been so horrified that Caleb had been forced to laughingly apologize for his unprovoked violence against rodents. He was pretty sure if Zavier ever found out where meat truly came from, he might end up becoming the first dragon vegetarian.

Caleb tugged on the saddle, making sure it was secure. Then he turned to Scarlet, who was struggling to climb aboard Zoe without much luck, her feet slipping on the dragon's sleek scales.

“Watch and learn, young grasshopper,” he teased, then turned back to Zavier, requesting the dragon lower his wing as they'd practiced. The beast obliged, and Caleb scrambled up the wing on all fours, then swung his leg over to straddle the dragon's back, settling down into the saddle between Zavier's neck and wings. As he shifted in his seat to find the sweet spot, he couldn't help a small smile. God, it felt good to be on the back of a dragon again. He glanced over at Scarlet, catching her admiring eyes. He felt his face heat.

“I know, I know. It's hard to even watch such supreme dragon mastery, isn't it?”

She rolled her eyes. “Actually, it's your supreme humility that gets me every time.”

Caleb laughed, watching her as she followed his lead and successfully mounted her own dragon. The two of them had fallen into a comfortable pattern over the last five months, and the awkwardness had all but faded between them. In fact, at times, it almost felt as if they had their own little secret family, and he found himself looking forward to waking up in the morning to sneak out of the terminal to meet her. They'd go hunting at the crack of dawn, before the others awoke, and return to the maintenance shack to deliver breakfast to their hungry brood. Then they'd head back to the terminal to try to sneak in midmorning naps before tackling the daily Team Dragon chores. Sometimes at night, they'd sneak out again while the others worked to put together the evening Emmy broadcast, to allow the dragons a supervised fly in a large crater they'd found about a mile away from the airfield, far from any prying eyes.

“How was that, oh great Dragon Master?” Scarlet teased.

He smiled. “Like you were born to be a guardian.”

A flush of pride colored her cheeks, and it made him happy to see it. When they'd first started this adventure, she'd been so nervous and stressed, always worried she wasn't doing something right, that they'd be discovered by the others—or worse, by the government. But as the dragons had grown, so had her confidence, and the haunted look had lifted from her eyes. In fact, these days, she was more likely to be laughing and smiling at something Zoe did or said than crying in a corner.

And she wasn't the only one. Caleb had to admit good clean living had done wonders for his own physical and mental health. Being outside had brought the color back to his skin, and while he might never be quite as buff as his brother, he'd filled out nicely from all the physical labor dragon guardianship entailed. More importantly, he could barely remember the last time he felt the pull of the Nether. Real life was too interesting these days, he supposed.

He looked down at Zavier.
Are
you
ready
for
this, Big Boy?

Please.
Zavier puffed out his chest and belched up a few sparks.
I
was
born
ready!

You
were
born
a
scrawny
little
pipsqueak
, Caleb teased.
But
we'll let you live with the fantasy.
He glanced over at Scarlet. “On your mark, Buttercup.”

She grinned, looking both nervous and excited. “Get set…”

“GO!” they both cried in unison.

The dragons burst from the shack, launching off their back feet and leaping into the night sky, their leathery wings claiming the air currents and beating them into submission. It was zero to sixty faster than any sports car, and though Caleb tried his best to look cool, calm, and collected—as if this were just another Tuesday—inside, his pulse was racing and his stomach was flip-flopping madly. It'd been so long since he'd been on the back of a dragon in real life. He'd almost forgotten how exhilarating it could be.

The night was dark, with heavy cloud cover over the moon and stars. Caleb had insisted they wait for a night like this, to make sure they were able to fly unseen. It was a bit colder than he would have preferred, however, and the icy wind whipped at his face without mercy. But he didn't care. He was flying a dragon again.
His
dragon. Talk about a dream come true.

“Oh my God, this is AH-MAZ-ING!” Scarlet squealed from somewhere nearby, though he couldn't see her through the clouds. His heart warmed at the joy he heard in her voice. Like him, she'd suffered so much. And now, like him, she was finally free.

How
does
it
feel?
he asked, switching to mind speak to be better heard over the rush of wind.

Like
I've died and gone to heaven
, she replied blissfully.
I
thought
I'd be scared, but I just feel so good. Like…I don't know…I was born to do this or something.

Caleb smiled.
Maybe
you
were.

They cut across the sky, dipping and soaring and weaving in and out of the clouds, Zoe and Zavier teasing one another as they danced their dragon dance. Caleb was pretty sure the two dragons were having as much fun as he and Scarlet were, which meant they were having quite a lot of fun indeed.

In
case
I
didn't tell you lately, you're pretty awesome
, he told Zavier, slapping him playfully on the neck. The dragon turned to him, lifting a skeptical eyelid.

As
awesome
as
the
legendary
Fred?

Caleb gave him a scolding look.
Now, now, let's not get crazy here.

But even as he teased the dragon, he knew the truth. While Fred would always have a special place in his heart, Zavier had already proven himself a worthy successor. For the first time since he could remember, Caleb felt a strange sort of peace about his first dragon's death, and he liked to imagine that Fred was looking down from the Nether, smiling at him (while chomping down on a huge steak bone, of course!), happy to see her guardian moving forward with his life.

They found a rocky campsite a few miles away, atop a small desert mountain. Once on the ground, they dismounted their dragons and found a few boulders to sit on while Zoe and Zavier curled up around one another, tails entwined as they set out to clean each other's scales with their long, black tongues.
Silly
creatures
, Caleb thought,
really
not
much
different
than
overgrown
house
cats.

He sighed contentedly, stretching out his legs in front of him and his hands above his head. “If only we were in the Nether now,” he remarked. “I could conjure us up a nice fire and roast us some marshmallows—really make this night perfect.”

But Scarlet only shook her head, lying down on her back and staring up at the sky. “It already is perfect, Caleb,” she said.

He looked down at her, at her simple unguarded face. At the contentedness sparkling in her dark eyes. Warmth flooded his stomach again. She was right. This was perfect.

And so was she.

He closed his eyes. How easy it would be for him to just crawl over there now, to take her into his arms and pull her to him, their mouths and bodies coming together in mutual heat. Scarlet, he knew, would never push him away. She'd never call him a distraction. She would never make him feel even the tiniest bit unworthy of her love.

He stifled a groan. Was this how Trinity had felt when he'd gone and kissed her in the Nether? At the time, he couldn't fathom how she could just pull away like she had—deny all that was so obvious between them. Now he was beginning to understand how it felt to be conflicted.

He could kiss Scarlet now. He could kiss her for hours and hours, never bothering to come up for air. And she would sigh under his mouth, and she would pull him to her, and they would tangle up in one another until they lost track of where one of them ended and the other began.

He had no doubt it would be wonderful.

But it wouldn't be fair.

He could kiss Scarlet. He could probably allow himself to love Scarlet. But he couldn't give her everything. That small part of his heart that still belonged to Trinity and always would—he couldn't surrender that. Even to someone as wonderful as her. He'd made Trinity a promise to always be there for her. Which meant he couldn't afford to be distracted.

And if he couldn't give Scarlet everything, was it fair to offer her anything at all? Or would he only end up hurting her more than he could bear? He thought back to the second time he'd met Trinity in the Nether—how distraught he'd been, how hopeless he'd felt. She'd gone to kiss him, and he'd pushed her away. Because he knew she would never be able to truly feel for him what he felt for her.

You'll just make it harder
, he had told her.
And
it's so hard already.

Scarlet had been through so much. So many people in her life had betrayed her trust. He couldn't be one of those people, couldn't bear to see hurt in her eyes and know he was to blame.

You
think
you
want
me
, he thought bitterly.
But
I'm the last person to deserve someone like you.

“Earth to Caleb. Come in, Caleb!”

He startled, looking up to find her hovering over him, her face drawn in concern. God, she really was beautiful though. In another life. In another world…

“Yeah, sorry.” He sat up, shaking himself. “Sometimes I still get a little spacy. Side effects of all that Nether time.” The night air bit at him, and he shivered involuntarily.

Scarlet gave him a sympathetic look. She pulled her sweater over her head and held it out to him before he could stop her. “Take it,” she urged. “It probably won't fit you, but you could put it over you like a blanket or something.”

“Are you calling me fat?” His mouth quirked.

“Nah, you're just big boned.”

He took the jacket, laughing. “Won't you be cold?”

“I'm never cold. My grandmother always used to say I was born with fire in my blood.”

“Hm. Maybe that's why you're so good with the dragons.”

Even in the dim light, he could see her blush. “Do you think I'm good with them?” she asked hopefully. “I'm always afraid I'm going to do the wrong thing and screw them up for life or something.”

He shook his head. “Are you kidding me? Just look at them. They're strong; they're healthy; they're happy. What more could you want in a dragon?”

She nodded, watching them with affection. “I guess you're right. And they have each other too. That's the most important thing. Emmy always seems so lonely.” She gave the dragons a wistful look. “Though I guess it's her fault. I mean, if she had just given them a chance, then she could have seen how kind and gentle they are. There's no way these two softies could ever burn down the world. Zoe barely manages to burn her food before eating it.”

Caleb laughed. “I agree,” he said. He paused, then added gently, “Which brings me to something I wanted to talk to you about.”

“What is it?” Scarlet asked, trying to ignore the sudden flip-flopping of her stomach at Caleb's unexpected words. She didn't know why, but for some reason, she had a distinct feeling she wasn't going to like what he was about to say.

For a moment, he didn't answer, which only served to heighten her nerves. Finally, he cleared his throat. “I think it might be time for these guys to become acquainted with Team Dragon.”

“What?” she cried before she could stop herself. Then she shook her head, staring at him incredulously. Tell Team Dragon about Zoe and Zavier? How could he even suggest such a thing?

“Absolutely not,” she declared. “I mean, there's no way. After all, Emmy thinks I killed them months ago. What is she going to say when she learns they're still alive?”

And
more
importantly
, she thought but didn't say aloud,
what
would
she
do?

She thought back to Emmy's cold eyes as her gaze rested on her children. How Zoe's hopeful face had crumbled as the mother dragon turned her back on them. The sound of Zavier's dismayed whine as his mother flew off, leaving them essentially orphans. Scarlet squared her shoulders. No way was she about to put her dragons through that kind of rejection again. After all, she knew far too well what it felt like.

Caleb gave her a sympathetic look. “Don't get me wrong,” he said. “You've done an amazing job raising them up until this point. But even you have to admit it's getting to be too much. We need help. They're eating more than the two of us can hunt for each day. Soon they'll have outgrown the maintenance shack. Where are we going to hide them then?”

“I know…but…”

“It takes a village to raise a dragon, Buttercup,” he said in a gentle voice. “We should be thankful we have a village to fall back on. With all the people donating to Emmy's cause these days, they have, like, unlimited funds. Zoe and Zavier could eat like kings and queens—versus the pitiful scraps we're able to scrounge for them now.”

She squeezed her hands into fists. “But Emmy—”

“Emmy is their mother. Once she sees that they're good dragons, that they're not a threat to anyone, she's going to have to accept them as her own. I know she will.” Caleb smiled. “I mean, look at them. Who could not love these big fire-breathing dorks once they got to know them?”

Scarlet shot a glance over at Zoe and Zavier, her heart panging in her chest. Zoe was doing a goofy little show-off dance as Zavier chirped his approval, flapping his wings in time to her steps. She sighed. She wanted so badly for Caleb to be right. But still… “You're sure?” she asked, turning back to him. “You're absolutely sure? It would kill me if something were to happen to them.”

“I know. But I've already figured this out. As you know, tomorrow is the anniversary party—to celebrate six months of Emmy being on air. They're doing this huge celebration and live streaming it across the world. From what Luke was telling me, they sold over four million subscriptions to the online event.”

“And…?”

“And so everyone will be tuning in. They'll get to see the joyous mother and baby reunion, broadcasted live.” He grinned, looking proud of himself. “Don't you see? There's no way Emmy will be able to just turn her back on her babies then. Not with everyone watching. She'll have to give them a chance—at least for the cameras. And then, once she actually interacts with them, she's going to realize how awesome they are.”

“And if she doesn't?”

“Then the rest of the world will,” Caleb pointed out. “And Trinity and Team Dragon will have to accept them too or risk having their fans turn on them.” His eyes sparkled his excitement; he'd obviously been conjuring up this idea for some time now. “And again, once they get to know them and realize they're no more a threat than Emmy is, they'll welcome them into the fold.”

“I guess that makes sense,” she said slowly, still feeling a nervousness crawling through her stomach. “Still, why now? I mean five months ago, you were just as concerned as I was about keeping them a secret. What's changed your mind?”

He gave her a sheepish look. “I wanted to wait until they hit puberty,” he explained in a slow voice. “Some dragons—well, they don't always stay tame. When they hit a certain age, they become violent and wild and destructive—the kind of dragons that could very well want to break away and destroy the world—like Emmy feared. We call them hybrids. And since we didn't know these guys' full parentage, we didn't know for sure whether they were hybrids or not.”

Scarlet stared at him, realization washing over her like a tidal wave. She scrunched up her face, trying to ignore the feeling of betrayal stabbing her in the gut. “So you've been waiting this whole time,” she whispered. “You believed from the start that Emmy could be right, that they could grow up and turn on us.”

“Yes,” Caleb said simply. “But,” he added, “I wouldn't have let that happen. I was fully prepared to…take care of things if they suddenly went south.”

“Take care of things? What are you, suddenly Connor?” Scarlet cried, horror coursing through her now. She found herself stepping in front of the dragons protectively. “And here I thought you were on our side!”

Caleb let out a frustrated breath. “I
am
on your side. God, Scarlet, don't you see? That's the whole reason I agreed to help you in the first place—to give the dragons the benefit of the doubt. Not everyone would have done that. But I figured if there was even the slightest possibility that they were purebloods, they deserved a chance to prove it. To me, it was worth the risk.” He paused, then added, his eyes leveling on hers, “
You
were worth the risk.”

Scarlet's heart fluttered involuntarily at his words. Damn it. He always did know exactly what to say to stop her in her tracks. To make her consider even his craziest ideas.

And was this even crazy? Was it a bad thing that he gave the dragons a chance to prove that they were good and peaceful? He'd done everything she'd asked over these last five months. And though he'd never said it aloud, she was pretty sure he loved Zavier and Zoe almost as much as she did. There was no way he would just willingly put them in danger now.

“Look, Buttercup,” he said, his voice softening. “Don't be mad at me. I was trying to do the right thing. Yes, I probably should have told you the whole story, but I was afraid it would scare you—or stress you out. I didn't want you all worried until I knew whether there was anything to be worried about. And now we know there's not. Zoe and Zavier are clearly not hybrids. And everyone back at the base is going to love them as much as we do.” He shrugged. “Still, if you don't think it's the right time, we can keep going on as we have. Or try to find another way.”

She opened her mouth to speak, then closed it again, unsure of what she'd been planning to say. She knew Caleb was making sense. But a strong ache still crawled through her gut all the same. It took her a moment to identify the feeling. And when she did, she realized uncomfortably that it had nothing to do with the care and feeding of dragons.

And everything to do with Caleb himself.

She sighed. Over the last five months, they'd grown so close, as if they had a secret family, just the four of them. A special bond between them. Would that still be there if they rejoined the rest of the group? Or would Trin charge in, taking over as she always tried to do?

No more hunting expeditions. No more sneaking out for nighttime flying. No more chances that somehow she and Caleb would become more than they were.

Don't be stupid
, she scolded herself.
Caleb
doesn't think of you in that way. All this time spent just the two of you, and he's never even tried to make a move.

Well, not since that one night in the Nether, anyway. But they never talked about that night. To be honest, she still wasn't positive he remembered it had happened at all. Which made her wish it actually
hadn't
happened, because there was no way she could forget that it did.

Stop
thinking
of
yourself
, she scolded.
It's Zavier and Zoe you should be thinking of now. And Caleb's right. We can't keep doing this on our own. We need help. They need help.

“You're right,” she found herself saying before she could change her mind again. “You're absolutely right. There's no way to continue on as we have been. We need to get the others on board if we want to keep everyone happy and safe.” The words tasted like sawdust in her mouth, but she knew they had to be said.

She felt Caleb's eyes on her, curious and searching. She turned to face him, and he gave her a sad smile. “You should be proud, you know?” he said softly. “All you've done for them? They couldn't have asked for a better mother.”

She blushed, suddenly embarrassed. “Yeah, well, turns out you're not such a bad baby daddy yourself,” she managed to quip.

He shook his head slowly, his glowing blue eyes never leaving her face. “God, Scarlet,” he whispered, “why do you have to be so sweet?”

Her breath caught in her throat. His words. The look in his eyes. Was he really going to kiss her? She found herself taking a step toward him, wanting him to know she was willing—that if he took the risk, he wouldn't be turned away. Her heart pounded in her chest.
Kiss
me
, she wanted to beg.
Just
for
once, let go of whatever is holding you back and kiss me like you mean it.

But instead of stepping toward her, instead of grabbing her face in his hands and pressing his lips against hers—he stepped away. Retreating, putting distance between them. Yet not before she caught a shadow of guilt cross his otherwise beautiful face.

Desperate, she reached out with her gift—to try to glean what he was thinking. She knew it was beyond rude to jack into people's thoughts without permission. But at the moment, she couldn't help herself. She swallowed hard, straining to hear.

I
can't
, he was thinking.
I
made
a
promise
to
Trinity…

Scarlet's shoulders stiffened. Her mind darkened. She squeezed her hands into fists as she stared at him with fury. Was he really still holding on to that fantasy after all this time?

Trinity
has
Connor
, she wanted to scream.
She
doesn't get to have you both.

But what good would it do? You could rationalize till the dragons came home, but you couldn't change someone's heart. No matter what she did, no matter how “sweet” she was, she could never be Trinity Foxx, Caleb's manic pixie dream girl.

He liked Scarlet. That was obvious. But he loved Trinity. And if she allowed herself to fall for him, she would end up falling alone.

Oh God, what if she already had?

She forced herself to turn around, trying to hold back the tears pricking at the corners of her eyes. She tried to tell herself this was for the best. She knew for certain now, which meant no more wondering how he felt—no more hoping he was pining for her as much as she was pining for him. She knew where he stood now. And that meant she could move on.

“We need to go,” she ground out. “It'll be morning soon, and we can't be flying in the daytime.”

She tried desperately to keep the hurt from her voice, but from the look on his face, she could tell he heard it anyway. He opened his mouth to speak, but she waved him off.

“Don't,” she said. “Just don't.”

He closed his mouth, his face reflecting his guilt…and pity. Anger rose within her. How dare he feel sorry for her? When he was the one who made her feel this way to begin with?

Are
you
okay?

She whirled around. Zoe was peering at her with worried eyes. Scarlet forced a smile to her lips, then reached over to scratch the dragon under the chin.

I'm fine
, she assured her.
I'm excited actually. Tomorrow you're going to get to see your mother.

Zoe's eyes widened into saucers.
My
mother?
she repeated in amazement.
You
mean
Emberlyn? I'm really going to get to see Emberlyn?

Scarlet couldn't help a small smile as the dragon broke into an excited jig—so fast her feet barely made contact with the ground.
Yes
, she assured the dragon.
You're really going to see her at last.

Oh, Scarlet-mom. Thank you
, Zoe gushed, stopping her dance to give Scarlet a huge slurp on the face.
Thank
you
so
much!

Don't thank me
, Scarlet corrected, glancing over at Caleb, who had busied himself with adjusting Zavier's saddle.
It
was
Caleb's idea.

And
, she thought but didn't say to the dragon,
I
really
hope
it's a good one.