Snow Melts in Spring (19 page)

THIRTY-FIVE

THE HESITATION ON GIL’S FACE CAUSED MATTIE TO REGRET HER RASH confession. She should have held her tongue. Waited to see how he felt before throwing all of her sentiments out on the floor before him.

“There’s a lot you don’t know about me,” he said. “I’m not sure I’m worthy of your hard-earned trust.”

“What do you mean?” She clutched his lapel, wanting so much to reach out to him. “You’re caring, honest, dependable. You have problems with your dad, but who doesn’t have issues?”

“I’m not perfect, Mattie.”

“I never said you were.”

He cupped his hand over hers and concern filled his eyes. “Come on,” he said. “Let’s go down and get some fresh air.” He laced his fingers through hers and pulled Mattie through the crowd of guests, shaking hands with well-wishers as they went out.

“What about your party? You can’t just leave.” Mattie worked to keep up in her high heels and narrow skirt.

Gil waved to Charlie and a few other friends. “In another thirty minutes, they won’t care if I’m here or gone.”

They took the elevator to the lobby, and Mattie adjusted her ankle straps, conscious of the low neckline on her dress.

“Everything all right?”

Mattie straightened and pulled on the hem of her skirt, which kept riding up from her knees. “I’m not used to such a fancy dress — borrowed it from Clara.”

He leaned closer, and the crisp scent of his aftershave wrapped itself around her. “Quit fussing. You’re gorgeous.”

The elevator doors opened to reveal the luxurious lobby adorned with giant crystal chandeliers. “Would you like to see Fisherman’s Wharf?”

Mattie’s sandals already pinched her toes, and her feet ached from the high heels. “How much walking will that involve?”

“Wishing you had your boots?” He grinned, then whirled her through the revolving doors and down the hotel steps. As they neared the sidewalk, the cable car’s bell clanged right before it stopped.

Gil grabbed a pole and hopped onto the running board. He swung Mattie up to join him, his hands clasping her arm and waist. Her heart raced at his touch, and she hoped he’d never let go.

But he did, and they settled in for the ride. “Your team really loves you,” she said. “What made you decide to retire?”

Gil took a moment before answering. “My age, my aching shoulders and knees.” He looked thoughtful. “It’s time to start the next stage of my life. I’m nearly forty years old. I want what Charlie has — a loving home, a wife, family. I crave these things even more since I met you.”

Despite the cool breeze, Mattie’s cheeks warmed at his directness. “You don’t mince words, do you?” She rubbed her arms as goose bumps prickled her skin.

Without a word, Gil removed his tuxedo jacket and placed it around her shoulders. “Life’s too short for games.”

She clutched his jacket, intensely aware of his arm resting on her back. His face hovered over hers, and she gazed into his eyes. “I don’t want to play games, Gil.”

“Neither do I.” He leaned closer, then paused as though waiting for permission. “And you know I don’t like to take no for an answer.”

Mattie closed her eyes and gave her consent. She pressed her lips to his in a kiss that made her thoughts swirl and turn to mush.

Maybe the two of them could work out their differences. Maybe God had plans for her and Gil, and maybe her visit to California would reveal those plans. It made perfect sense, especially when she considered how much she fought the trip and then how easily the arrangements came together, despite lack of time and money.

His finger trailed down her cheek and lingered on her lips, causing her skin to smolder. Then he enclosed her in his arms and kissed her again, this time with more fervency and passion. His kiss ignited a flame in her heart that threatened to consume her.

The bell above them clanged, and she broke from his embrace.

After a few seconds, she touched her mouth where his lips had been and struggled to think clearly. “Okay . . . so we agree we share an attraction . . . and that we’ve at least considered the possibility of a future. But you have to admit, our situation isn’t perfect.” The cable car lurched over a hill and headed down a steep grade. Mattie gripped the iron handlebar to hold her balance.

Gil reached out to steady her. “As I mentioned, there’s a lot you don’t know about me — things you should know.” His voice murmured softly in her ear.

“You’re a football star — I’m sure you’ve seen and done things that would turn my cheeks red.” Again, she swayed with the movement of the car and brushed against Gil’s shoulder. “I’m more concerned with our regional differences. My home is in Kansas.”

“And mine is in California.”

Mattie closed her eyelids at the absurdity of the situation. How could God allow such a connection but provide no clear way for them to be together?

“Before you say more, agree to go with me tomorrow to see the estate I want to buy.”

So he could tempt her even more? “I’ve come this far, you might as well show me everything. But I warn you, nothing will change my mind.”

THE NEXT MORNING, GIL MET HER IN THE LOBBY OF THE HOTEL TO take her to the property he wanted her to see. They drove out in his SUV, and as they approached the estate, Mattie’s breath caught. When she crossed the threshold of the majestic home, she recalled her taunt from the night before and blushed. In her defense, she’d never considered such a dwelling as this, with its towering ornate ceilings and arched doorways that led to rooms more spacious than her entire apartment had been back home.

The blonde-haired realtor took them past a spiraling staircase, then down a short hallway to a gourmet kitchen.

“Look Mattie, two ovens,” Gil teased. “You could bake cookies and biscuits to your heart’s content.”

Mattie swept her hand along the marble counter and imagined the meals she could prepare. The idea seemed hilarious compared to the antique stove she used now. After a few minutes of consideration, they entered a narrow enclosed porch with a fireplace in the middle.

“This is the solarium,” the agent said. “An intimate place to retreat on cold nights with a cup of cappuccino when it’s just the two of you . . . and then in warmer weather you can entertain out on the lanai.” She walked them through an open passageway where an outdoor veranda spanned the entire back of the home, bordered by exotic plants and concrete arches braced with tall pillars.

From that point on, Mattie followed along in a trance, unable to believe people actually lived in such luxury. Gil might be able to fit in to this sort of lifestyle, but how could she with her meager country ways?

She wouldn’t know where to begin.

As they neared the end of the tour, they entered the master bedroom, which boasted a private sitting area the size of the kitchen with closets alongside a mirrored dressing room. The adjoining master bath was no less elegant, boasting an oversized spa centrally located behind a huge bay window that overlooked an enclosed view of a privacy garden.

“I’ll let you look around for a few minutes before we continue,” the agent said, then moved out to the hallway.

Gil came to Mattie’s side with a cheeky smile that would rival any Cheshire cat. “Did I tell you, or what?”

“Can you really afford this . . . palace?” She hated to admit that a part of her enjoyed imagining the possibilities, while her more conservative side argued the place was too pompous for any self-respecting person to own.

“You haven’t seen anything yet.” Gil kissed her on the nose, completely oblivious to the whirling doubts within her. “Wait till you see the barn.”

THIRTY-SIX

“YOU MEAN TO TELL ME YOU WEREN’T IMPRESSED?” GIL ASKED AS he headed west toward the coast, wanting to show Mattie another of his favorite spots. He didn’t believe Mattie’s objections for one minute. What woman wouldn’t jump at the chance of being the mistress of such an estate?

“I never said that. I simply suggested the place was too pretentious for my tastes. No one would deny the home was beautiful . . . breathtaking, even.”

Gil smiled at this description, more fitting of his passenger. She was gorgeous last night, but her outfit today suited her more. Dressed in a tiered skirt and a denim jacket, her simple beauty took his breath away. He especially liked that she’d worn her hair down again and not in its usual braid. “Then you liked it — could even picture yourself there, especially in the barn? With the private clinic I plan to build, you’d be the envy of every vet in the country.”

She stared down at her lap and played with the layers of her skirt. “What makes you think I’m so ambitious?”

He thought of how hard she’d worked to build her clientele in Diamond Falls. “I know how much your practice means to you.” He reached for her hand, but she evaded his grasp.

“I was mistaken when I said you understood me,” she said. “If you think I care about money, then you don’t know me at all.”

Gil trained his eyes on the road as he went through a series of curves and passed a cluster of weathered businesses. “I know you want to succeed. You want to be accepted.”

“But you can’t buy my affection with a lavish house and a fancy barn. Can you really picture me in that place, entertaining your football buddies or prospective horse buyers?” Mattie’s voice became slightly shrill. “Who are we kidding? You’re used to a lifestyle I can’t imagine, and my home is on the prairie. I need an uncomplicated life, Gil — not one where I have to pretend to be someone I’m not.”

Gil squeezed the steering wheel. Life back home was anything but simple for him. It was extremely complicated. “If we care about each other, we should be able to work through these obstacles. You give a little, I’ll give a little.”

“That sounds good in theory, but not if it means I have to give up the one thing I care about most — and I don’t even understand why.” She gripped his shoulder. “What are you afraid of? You’re so busy pushing this place on me that you stopped giving Kansas a chance. Why won’t you work out your problems with your dad and help run his ranch? Make that your future instead of this overpriced hacienda . . . which seems too good to be true, by the way.”

Her gaze penetrated and unnerved him.

Swerving off the main highway, he parked alongside the road on a rugged cliff. The salty spray of the Pacific coastline whisked into the cab of the Escalade as he took a deep breath and stared out over the ocean. Far beyond the outcrop of jagged rocks, the white-capped breakers rushed onto the pebbly shore, only to draw back into the dark blue depths, just like his long-buried emotions.

He considered the last few months, his inclination to return home to make amends with his father, only to be swept away by an onslaught of waves — Dusty, Mattie, his dreams of raising horses and owning the California ranch — all of these things had served as deterrents to his original objective.

When had Mattie become his end goal? He’d become so taken with her that he’d glossed over the problems that had followed him all of his adult life. Gil suddenly realized that football wasn’t the only thing he needed to retire from; he needed to retire from deceit and the distance he’d put between himself and his dad. He wanted peace. “I’m sorry for pushing you. I guess I have been coming on a bit strong.”

“Just a little.” Mattie opened the door to get out, and Gil followed her to the scenic overlook. A gusty wind whipped against his shirt, and he went to grab his jacket.

“The view here is beautiful,” she admitted as she gazed out at the western horizon. “But to me, these pounding waves are as unsettling as the life they represent.”

“No more unsettling than a Kansas tornado.”

“Or a California earthquake,” she quipped.

“With the prairie, what you see is what you get. It doesn’t hide anything.” She held down her skirt as it flapped in the wind. “It’s not a majestic mountain or hypnotic seashore, but it’s honest . . . unpretentious and tranquil. Winter snows and summer droughts come, but you prepare for them, and as the seasons change, you get a chance to start anew.”

Gil zipped his windbreaker. “Why do I get the feeling you’re talking about more than dates on a calendar?”

“I recall a man who wanted another chance with his father.” Her eyes challenged him. “Why don’t we concentrate on that first, then maybe we can deal with this other stuff . . . when and if we have the footing to handle it.”

Unable to resist, Gil stepped closer and pulled her into his arms, welcoming her sturdy, yet slight body next to his. She rested her head against his chest as he stared out at the Pacific. The timed surge of the swells as they foamed against the beach whispered in his ears like the distant wind on stems of tallgrass. At that moment, he felt in his heart that he’d do nearly anything for this woman, even if it meant coming to terms with his past and admitting his faults. He just prayed his confession wouldn’t destroy their prospects for a future.

“Do you mean you might still give us a chance?” he asked.

Mattie looked up at him with a gleam in her eyes. “All I know is I’ve been in this state for two days, and already I’m itching to get home. Any chance you’d fly with me tomorrow?”

After a moment’s consideration, Gil nodded. A four-hour flight would give him time to build the courage to tell her about his past. And if Mattie took the news about Jenna badly, which he guessed she would, they’d be forced to work it out, talk it out, right there in the passenger seats, thousands of miles in the air.

Where Mattie couldn’t run — and neither could he.

“I think that could be arranged, on one condition.”

“What’s that?”

“There’s a shack up the road that serves some of the best crab dinners. Go there with me? Their clam chowder will make your mouth water.”

“More so than your chili?” Her voice lilted in amusement.

He scrunched his forehead. “You can’t compare beef to chowder. Kansans know their steaks, but if you want seafood, this is the place to be.”

MATTIE TURNED THE TAP TO FILL HER HOTEL BATHTUB WITH bubbling water, then adjusted the belt on the white terrycloth robe and considered her day with Gil. Never in her life had she seen such a magnificent home. A part of her felt guilty at having curbed Gil’s excitement with her persistent doubts.

But she couldn’t help it. The place was too . . . extravagant. She much preferred his father’s house with its sandstone walls and centuries-old décor. A home like the Lightning M was more than plenty — more than she could hope for.

Mattie watched as the glistening water gushed into the tub. To her dismay, she realized that in her entire time with Gil, neither of them had mentioned love — not once.

Did she love him?

There were moments in his arms when she wouldn’t hesitate to think that she did. At times, Gil could be the gentlest, most caring and compassionate man she knew. Those tender moments, however, were offset by tense arguments and the ever-present knowledge that they were too much alike in their bullheadedness and too different when it came to deciding their future.

If she truly loved Gil, wouldn’t she be willing to follow him anywhere? It shouldn’t matter where they lived, as long as they were together, whether it be the West Coast or the Midwest. If she loved him . . .

Mattie clipped her hair into a coil on top of her head. By the same token, if Gil loved her, he ought to be willing to sacrifice his dreams and put her desires above his own. In so doing, he would surely come to realize their aspirations were not so different.

They both wanted a ranch, and Gil could raise his horses in the Flint Hills as easily as he could in California. As a bonus, in Kansas he’d have more acreage and be able to work on his relationship with his dad . . .
if
he loved her.