Snowbound Baby (Silhouette Romance) (12 page)

Then suddenly she saw a simple, sleeveless white cotton dress sprinkled with purple violets. It was sweet and feminine and could be laundered. She grabbed it and ran down the steps to the basement where she tossed the garment into the washer. She waited until the cycle was finished, then brought the dress upstairs. But rather than dry it in the great room, where Cooper could see it, she hung it on a hanger from the curtain rod in her bedroom, right above the furnace vent. Within two hours it was dry. Then she showered, put on makeup and slid into the dress.

When she walked out of her bedroom, all the lights had been dimmed and the television had been tuned to an all-music channel. Soft rock glided through the air. Daphne happily played in the dresser drawer in the center of the great room floor.

At the kitchen table, Cooper glanced up from cutting a chicken and said, “Oh. Well…” He paused as his eyes took a slow inventory. Then he swallowed. “Don’t you look nice.”

She smiled. “Thanks.”

Fighting a serious case of
butterflies, she walked into the kitchen. Because she didn’t have shoes that complemented the dress, she wasn’t wearing any. Barefoot and in the airy sleeveless dress, she probably looked like a woman about to go on a picnic with her lover, rather than a woman stranded in a cabin in the middle of a cluster of snowstorms.

She saw Cooper swallow again. “You
really
look nice.”

And Cooper felt
really
funny. If he still had a stomach it had fallen to the floor. He couldn’t stop staring at her, but when he noticed it was beginning to make her uncomfortable he reminded himself that he had to get her in an amiable enough mood to take his check.

The gentleman he usually kept buried rose up in him and pulled out her chair.

She smiled. “Thanks.”

Zoe made dinner very easy. She kept her voice low, her comments quiet and Cooper relaxed, knowing soft-spoken, quiet Zoe could be persuaded to accept the money. She wasn’t the arguer or the spitfire. She was the woman with common sense. The check was as good as in her bank account.

But as quickly as he realized that, sadness enveloped him. He might succeed in putting the money in her hands, but he also knew they weren’t going to see each other again. He longed for a kiss. One more kiss. A kiss to remember…

He glanced at her, thinking how pretty she looked, how innocent, and reality intruded. Their attraction was much too potent to risk another kiss.

Still, he wanted something special
to make this a night they could both remember. A slow romantic tune floated from the television and, inspired, Cooper rose. “Would you like to dance?”

She smiled shyly and agreed and Cooper’s heart did a somersault. He couldn’t believe everything was going so smoothly. He’d thought for sure she would immediately demand to know his proposition. Instead, she seemed to want to make this night as memorable as he did.

As he pulled her into his arms and began to glide around the floor, he realized again how well they fit together. The warmth of her pressed against him felt so wonderful, so natural, he couldn’t help admitting that though they might not be perfect partners, they did have “something.” He had no idea what it was, but there was clearly a connection between them. Swaying in rhythm with the soft music, they both knew it. And she probably wanted a kiss as much as he did.

Unable to resist, he lowered his head and kissed her. As always, the world spun. But this time it didn’t tilt off its axis. This time he understood the sexual attraction had been seasoned with genuine affection and he enjoyed it because it was the last kiss he would get from her, or give her. This was the end for them. Except he had to give her his check.

Compelled by the truth of that, he pulled away. There would never be a more perfect moment. He slid his hands from her waist so he could clasp her fingers and said, “Zoe, I know we haven’t known each other very long, but we’d be foolish if we didn’t acknowledge that in these past few days we’ve become very close.”

She nodded.

“We’ve shared a lot of
things about our lives that I’m guessing we’ve never shared with anyone else.”

“Yes.”

He drew a quiet breath. “So, I want you to have my check.”

She blinked. “Your check?”

“Yes.” He pulled the folded white envelope out of his back pocket. “This is the certified check I had written to pay off my brothers. It’s more than enough to pay the taxes on your house and probably put you through all four years of college. I want you to have it.”

She searched his face. “This is what you wanted to talk about tonight?”

“Yes.” He opened her hand and placed the envelope in her palm.

She looked at it, then caught his gaze, tears shimmering on her eyelashes. “This is really it? All of it? Everything you wanted to tell me?”

Panic gripped him. He expected her to be overcome with joy or to get angry. He didn’t know how to deal with questions or confusion. “Yes.”

Holding his gaze, she asked, “So, what was the kiss all about?”

He cleared his throat. “Zoe, you’re kind of an irresistible force and we’re friends….”

“So, that kiss meant we’re friends?”

He studied her for a few seconds, then said, “We’re more than friends. And you know that. I wouldn’t be giving you my life savings if we weren’t.”

“But we have no
future together.”

“We’ve been through this. I can’t commit. If you knew me better—”

“We know each other well enough for you to give me every cent of money you have, but you think we don’t know each other?”

He shook his head in disbelief. “You expect to be bosom buddies after six days?”

“No, I expected you to like me enough to want me to go with you.”

His eyes widened. “Come with me?”

“Yes. To Texas. I’m losing my house, remember?”

“That’s why I’m giving you the check.”

“I don’t want your check! I want you to love me!”

“Love you?
In six days?”

“You’re giving me every cent of money you have after only knowing me a few days. To me it makes as much sense to think we could fall in love, as it does to give each other our bank accounts.”

“You need this money more than I do. I can start over, but you…”

Eyes flashing fire, she said, “I what?”

“You have a baby.”

Cooper watched Zoe force herself to be calm. “I know we haven’t spent a lot of time together, but you should have known better than this.” She stuffed the check into his shirt pocket. “I told you. I don’t want your charity.”

With that she walked out of the room, and Cooper stood flabbergasted. She’d missed the significance of what he had done. He hadn’t merely given her every cent he had. He was willing to give up years of his life for her. But she didn’t want what he was offering.

She wanted him to
love her.
Love
her. Even if he were the kind of guy to fall head over heels, he wouldn’t do it in six days.

This really was the end.

T
he mood in the house the
next morning was black. Cooper didn’t know whether to be astounded that Zoe could possibly think he could love her in a matter of days, or angry that she’d thrown his generosity back in his face.

When she came into the kitchen and silently gathered Daphne’s assorted bottles and half-eaten jars of baby food, her beautiful yellow hair cascading around her, his mind nearly took off in a direction that he knew it wasn’t wise to go, so he focused on his anger. She needed that money. Hell,
he
needed that money. But he was giving it to her because her need was greater. That money was her jump start to life.

But she didn’t want it because she’d fallen into some starry-eyed vat of stupidity and thought he should love her. Yes, she was beautiful. Yes, he’d love to make love to her. And, yes, under different circumstances—for instance if they lived anywhere near each other—they might be friends. For him, even admitting he wanted to be friends was a stretch. But they didn’t live close enough that there was a hope in hell they could maintain a friendship. What would they do? Talk on the phone? Yeah, like he’d spend hours chatting!

But she didn’t even want
to be friends. She wanted to be lovers. In a real relationship. And she thought they were already on that road. Because the thing left unspoken the night before was that she loved him…or thought she did.

Which astounded him. Even if he did believe in love, even if he believed somebody could love him, there was absolutely no way in hell he would accept that somebody could fall in love with
anybody
in less than a week. Period. So she didn’t love him and he sure as hell didn’t love her.

She left the room as silently as she had entered and Cooper wilted. He didn’t love her. But he did care about her. He cared about Daphne. And he knew enough about life to realize that Zoe had been given a raw deal. He also knew enough about life to suspect that he’d been thrown in her path at the very time that he had a cashier’s check because his money was actually supposed to be
her
money. And he knew enough about life to realize that things didn’t happen by accident. He’d met her, come to care about her, so he could give her the leg up she needed because he’d already proven that when the chips were down, he could always find a way to save himself.

He frowned. Did that mean he thought she
couldn’t
find a way? Was that why she was so angry?

He almost slapped his forehead at
his stupidity. He most certainly did not think she couldn’t find her own way. He believed she was smart and capable but overburdened. He believed that his money would give her the chance to get the education that would allow her to live the way she was supposed to live. He also believed that if she were by herself, with no baby, no day care, no formula, diapers, or wipes to buy, she would kick life’s butt.

But the circumstances were that she had a baby and unusual expenses and she needed a break.

Still, if she assumed he’d offered his herd money because he thought she
couldn’t
save herself…well, then he supposed he understood why she was upset. Which simply meant he had to explain that she had taken his offer the wrong way. And once he explained she would see he didn’t think her stupid or lazy or incompetent, simply overburdened, she would take his money.

Relief overwhelmed him and he walked into the bedroom where she was stuffing Daphne into her snowsuit.

“Can I talk to you?”

“I think we said everything that needed to be said last night.”

“Now, see, there’s where you’re wrong. Because out there in that kitchen, after only a few seconds of real thought, I realized why you’re mad at me. And if we had talked a few minutes longer last night, all this,” he said, waving his hands around her room to indicate her quick packing and silent departure, “would be unnecessary.”

She turned from the bed, holding grinning Daphne, and pushed past him to the door. “I have to get home.”

“And I have to get on the road, too,” he agreed, following her. “But this is an easy thing to settle. I figured out that you’re mad at me because you think I’m giving you my mortgage money because I think you can’t make it on your own. But the truth is,” he continued, speaking quickly because she was rapidly striding to the door, “I don’t think you’re incapable. I think you’re overburdened. I think life dealt you a bad hand, and even with your poker skills, it’s killing you.”

She put Daphne in her baby
carrier and set it on the floor in the hall, then turned and ran into Cooper.

She sighed. “Move. I need to get the diaper bag.”

“Why don’t you let me get the diaper bag?”

“Because I can handle everything myself!”

Her words hit him like a slap across the face, making him see he was right on the money with his assumption that he’d insulted her, so he pushed on. “Yes. You
can
handle everything yourself. That’s my point.”

She shifted and walked past him to the bedroom. He scrambled after her.

“I’m not giving you my money because I don’t think you can handle things. I’m giving you the money because I know you can. With this money you will get a degree—you will have money for both tuition and day care and living expenses for the years it will take. Then you will get a job and become self-sufficient. To me you are a good investment.”

“I’m an investment?”

From the tone of her voice, he couldn’t tell if she thought that a good or bad thing so he went with the truth. “Yes.”

Her eyes narrowed. “So, you want the money back eventually?”

“No! It’s not a loan.”

“Right, because if it was a
loan you would have to give me your address so I could make payments and you don’t want me to have your address.”

She was right. He didn’t like people knowing where he was. He didn’t like being accountable or depended upon. He just wanted to give her the damned money.

“Why is it so hard for you to believe that somebody wants to
give
you something?”

“Because no one’s ever given me anything! There are always strings attached. There’s always a catch.”

“This money comes with no catch.”

“Except that it gets me out of your hair. This way you leave me without regret. You won’t love me. You say you can’t, but I say you
won’t.
So you give me your money, take the burden of sacrifice on yourself, don’t have to worry about me, don’t have to think about me…except maybe to have a warm feeling in your heart to know you gave me everything you had.” She paused. Her gaze caught his. “But you’re not giving me everything you have. I want
you.
You want to take the easy way out. Buy me off. Ease your conscience.” She drew a quick breath. “Well, I won’t let you. I want you to think about me. I want you to remember me. I want you to know that without you I’m alone and struggling.”

The thought of her being alone, broke, hungry, cold, nearly did him in. Until he realized that was exactly what she wanted. She wanted him to feel he somehow was to blame for that. Just as Seth blamed him for the Bryant brothers not getting along. Just like Bonnie blamed him for their relationship fizzling. He cursed. “Take the money.”

She grabbed the diaper bag
and hoisted it to her shoulder. “No. If you really believe I’m strong, you know I don’t need it.”

She stormed to the front hall where Daphne sat trying to shove her entire fist into her mouth. Zoe grabbed the carrier handle, adjusted the diaper bag onto her back and headed for the door. But the weight of the diaper bag shifted and she nearly fell.

Cooper sighed. “Let me carry the diaper bag.”

With her back to him, she tilted her head back and drew a deep breath. He knew she was debating. He knew she hated to look weak. Because she wasn’t weak. But she needed help. He suddenly felt her pain, her burden. How would it feel to be a strong, self-sufficient person, who suddenly needed help? He couldn’t imagine it because he’d never needed help. Life had always given him the resources to save himself.

He slowly walked to the door and eased the diaper bag from her shoulders. “No strings attached,” he said quietly and opened the door, motioning with his hand for her to go out.

She nodded. He pulled the door closed behind them and followed her, watching her walk, back straight, head held high, to the driveway. His heart constricted. She was so proud. He could feel her pain. He knew she would never let him talk her into taking his money. But now that he was holding her diaper bag, he didn’t have to talk her into taking it. He could simply give it to her.

He stopped walking. “Hey, Zoe. I just realized there’s no point in me walking this twice. I’m going to run inside and get my duffel and backpack. You keep walking. I’ll catch up.”

She nodded. He breathed a sigh
of relief and ran back to the house. He grabbed his duffel and backpack, which were in the great room where he’d stored them while he’d gone out and shoveled around his truck and her car to assure they weren’t plowed in. He unzipped the backpack, pulled out the check and stuffed it into Daphne’s diaper bag. Zoe would find it when she dumped the bag to do the laundry.

She’d probably curse him.

She’d probably almost tear up the check at least three times over the course of a long week that she’d spend looking at it.

But he would bet every cent of money in this check that ultimately she’d cash it…because betting every cent of the money was exactly what he was doing. It was a certified check. If she didn’t cash it, the money was lost to both of them.

Zoe trudged up the mountain to her car. She remembered making the suggestion to Cooper the day they were stranded that they walk downhill rather than uphill looking for a cabin. At the time, she’d been so engrossed in his thunderstruck reaction to her touching him that she hadn’t thought about how walking down to find shelter meant they would have to walk uphill to return to their vehicles.

She took a quick breath. “We’re fine, Daphne,” she told the baby girl who seemed happy to finally be outside in the fresh air, even if that air was only about thirty degrees. “We survived when your dad left. We’ll survive now.”

Daphne cooed and Zoe lifted the carrier high enough that she could nuzzle Daphne’s face and grin at her daughter. But she knew her smile didn’t reach her eyes. She had survived without Brad because Brad was a loser. He was a narcissistic boy. And every time Zoe missed him, if only his companionship, she reminded herself that there was somebody better out there. But she couldn’t do that with Cooper because he was her somebody better. Even the way he’d tried to give her his check proved he was unselfish. Kind. Caring. But he didn’t see it. Nope, unlike Brad, who only saw his good and never even considered he might do things wrong, Cooper only saw his faults. His mistakes. And he couldn’t believe he would ever do anything right, good or kind.

He thought she was the one life
had overburdened, but Cooper was the one who would always be trapped. He would always be alone because the person he refused to trust was himself. That knowledge hurt her worse than realizing she might always be alone because she didn’t believe anybody would ever compare to him.

She heard the crunch of snow behind her and realized Cooper was catching up to her. So she put on a brave face. She didn’t want his memories to be of her angry with him. After all, he might have decided to live without her, but she most certainly intended to haunt his dreams.

He skidded to a stop beside her. “See, I told you I could catch up.”

She smiled. “Yeah. I figured you would.”

He adjusted her diaper bag and his backpack on his shoulder and started walking again.

“I don’t want us to end on a sour note,” she said quietly, hesitantly, because she wasn’t sure how this comment would be greeted. But they were only about ten feet from her car. Ten feet of time left together. Ten feet to tell him the things she wanted to say. So it had to come out right.

“I didn’t like us
leaving mad, either.”

She took a quick breath, then smiled at him. “Good, because I never got a chance to say what I wanted to say last night.” She took another breath. “I think you’re a very, very good person.”

He looked away. “Yeah, well, you’ve got some stars in your eyes.”

“And you’re too hard on yourself.”

Surprisingly, he laughed. “You aren’t going to give this up, are you?”

She shook her head. “I have about five more seconds,” she said, stopping by her car. She opened the door and slid Daphne’s carrier to the driver’s seat. Because Cooper had let her car run while he’d shoveled, the inside was warm. She lifted Daphne from the seat and buckled her into her car seat. She gurgled happily.

“Daphne’s glad to be going,” Cooper said, nodding inside the car.

“Want to say goodbye?”

He swallowed and looked away again and Zoe’s heart broke. He didn’t even see that it was more painful for him to avoid love than it was to risk loving.

“Go ahead,” she urged, nudging him toward the open door of her car. “Just poke your head in and say goodbye.”

He nodded and bent inside her car. “Hey, kid. You be good.”

She screeched and slapped his nose with her rattle.

Zoe winced, but he laughed as he pulled out of her car. “She still loves me.”

His words shot an arrow
in Zoe’s heart. She knew he didn’t mean them literally, only as an expression, so she smiled and said, “A slap with the rattle is her highest praise.”

He nodded, stepped back. “So…you take care of yourself, okay?”

She nodded, and glanced to the right as misery tumbled through her. Damn it. She couldn’t believe he could let it end like this. Especially since she couldn’t! Before he knew what she intended to do, she took a step forward, grabbed the lapels of his jacket and pulled him to her. Standing on her tiptoes, she kissed him. At first he didn’t respond, and then as if he couldn’t help himself, he wrapped his arms around her, jerked her closer and deepened the kiss.

But he quickly pulled away and they stared into each other’s eyes.

Please,
she thought.
Please don’t let me go. If nothing else, ask for my address, my phone number…anything!