Snowfall (12 page)

Gregory, Age 7

Maybe it had been a big mistake to think she could host this year's Christmas dinner.

That thought had been spinning in Elsie's head all morning. Ever since Amanda and Viola had walked into her kitchen two hours ago. They'd arrived with pads of paper, a handful of pencils, and all sorts of great ideas.

As she heard those ideas, Elsie's confidence began to falter a bit. She'd wanted to host this dinner to prove to both herself and her family that she was just as capable as everyone else.

But now she was starting to get the feeling that she'd been fooling herself. “Nineteen people for dinner is rather more than I had imagined.”

“It is,” Viola agreed, “but we can handle it. We three girls can handle just about anything together.”

“I'm not so sure about that.”

Amanda placed her warm palm on Elsie's hand. “It could be worse, I suppose. Your uncle Aden was going to come out this way but the weather is supposed to turn.”

“Really?” Elsie asked. It had been the driest winter that any of them could recall.

“I, for one, hope the weather does turn. I'd love for Annie to experience a white Christmas,” Viola said.

Elsie hadn't been able to spend much time with the girl yet. “How's she getting along with Mommi?”

“I think she really likes living with our grandparents. They seem to have mastered spending time with her and not being too intrusive.”

Elsie shook her head in wonder. “I love Mommi, you both know that. But I've never considered spending time with her to be particularly easy.”

Amanda chuckled. “I think they've mellowed a bit over the years. Regina loves being with them, too. Whenever I need a babysitter, she asks to be with her Lovina.”

Elsie sighed. “I suppose if Annie can come all the way over here from Belize and stay with Mommi and Dawdi, I'll have to get over my nerves.”

Amanda squeezed her hand again. “Elsie, both Roman and I were so happy that you wanted to host Christmas dinner. I was honored that you asked me to help. I promise, everything will get done and it will be perfect.”

Viola chuckled. “Amanda, you are too sweet. I can practically promise our meal won't be perfect, but we will all be together. That's all that matters to me.”

At last, Elsie relaxed. Her twin was exactly right. Dinner didn't have to be perfect or fancy. All it needed was their loved ones, and they had that in spades.

Getting to her feet, she reached down to pat Betsy, who stood up as well. “In that case, let's call Lorene and see what she wants to bring. And then tell our husbands to go to Daybreak and borrow the card tables and chairs that Atle said we could use. We've got plenty to do.”

When Ruth got back to her apartment after another long day at the Rhodeses'
haus
, she looked at the pretty pink quilt, the perfectly aligned books, the neatly put-away dishes and glasses. The kitchen sink was clean and empty; the bathroom countertop practically sparkled. Everything was fresh and clean and neat.

It was exactly the living space that she'd always dreamed of having.

It was also the perfectly wrong place for her at the moment.

And she realized she couldn't be there another second. She needed another person to talk to, not peace and quiet. She needed some advice, not time for reflection.

Before she changed her mind, she turned on her heel and rushed down the sidewalk to Daybreak. If she was lucky, Kristy would still be on her shift or just coming off of it.

After saying hello to Florence and some of the other staff members, she discovered that her hunch was correct. Kristy had just finished her shift and was in the staff room gathering her things together.

And luckily, she was also very happy to see Ruth. “Long time no see,” she teased. “I thought you were going to keep me informed about how your job was going.”

“I had planned on it, but I've been busier than I ever imagined.”

Kristy looked at her again, this time a little bit more closely. Then she smiled wider. “I don't know what's happened, but you seem happier.”

Well, now. That was a shock. “I don't know if I am happier. But I definitely have some things to share. That is, if you have time to chat.”

“I do.” Glancing up at the clock on the wall, she said, “Floyd is going to pick me up in about an hour. I was going to work on my knitting while I waited. Now we can chat.”

Ruth didn't need a second invitation. “Want some hot chocolate?”

“Of course. You get the hot chocolate and I'll get the cookies. The cook made some really delicious peppermint-bark cookies. I'll meet you here in five minutes.”

Five minutes later, they were eating chocolate brownie cookies decorated with crushed peppermint candy and sipping hot chocolate.

While they indulged in their chocolate snack, Ruth relayed everything she could about Martin and his kids. She finished her story by describing the latest news, filling Kristy in on Gregory's case of probable chicken pox and Martin's sudden invitation.

Through it all, Kristy was the perfect listener. But when Ruth finished her summary, her eyes got wide. “Oh, Ruth. Only you would get talked into being in such a home.”

Wondering if maybe she'd been laying things on a little too thick, Ruth winced. “It's not a bad place, Kristy. Simply disorganized and hectic.”

“I'm surprised he asked you to move in with them.”

“It did take me off guard. So much so, I didn't know what to say at first.”

“I wouldn't have known what to say, either.”

“At first I feared he was joking. I mean, it's not like he doesn't have any extended family. There would have to be someone better than me, right?”

“Maybe.”

“Maybe? I thought you would be as shocked as me.”

“I am. But I also can't say that I blame him for wanting you there,” Kristy murmured as she looked at Ruth over the rim of her mug. “You are exceptionally calm and stalwart in a crisis. And it's obvious he is worried about his son. Why wouldn't he want your help?”

Ruth shifted uncomfortably under her girlfriend's gaze. “I don't mind helping him. I want to help him. I'm worried about Gregory, too. And worried that the other
kinner
are all going to get sick, too.”

“Then what is the problem?”

Thinking about that, she shrugged. “It's a lot of things. It's the way he seems to have forgotten that I have a life outside of his house. He shouldn't expect me to drop everything in order to take care of his sick children twenty-four hours a day. Especially not at Christmas,” she added, hoping against hope that she sounded as if she did, indeed, have other things to do.

She wished she did.

“That does seem rather presumptuous of him.”

“I'll say. Because it is.”

“So you're going to say no? Just let him deal with his
kinner
on his own?”

Put that way, it did sound pretty harsh. Of course, more to the point, she hadn't actually decided that she was going to refuse to help him. “I'm not sure.”

“Really?” Kristy's voice was more bemused than upset. And her expression was a mixture of surprise and something far more calculating. Almost as if she knew about a secret plan that Ruth didn't. “So you actually are considering moving in to help with the children over Christmas.”

“If all the
kinner
get chicken pox, I'm afraid I might have to.”

“Oh, Ruth.”

“Honestly, you don't know what they're like. They're beyond handfuls. Why, why . . . they are worse than a basketful of kittens when they're all happy and healthy. Thinking of all six of them cranky and itchy at the same time? It's frightening to imagine.”

“But Ruth—”

Ruth exhaled, looked at her best friend in Sugarcreek, and decided to take a leap of faith. “The truth is that I'm afraid I would really regret not helping out Martin and his children. They need me. And, well, this is going to sound hard to imagine, but I think I need them.”

Kristy's expression softened. She reached out to grab Ruth's hand. “Oh, Ruth. I know this is a hard time of the year for you. But you can always spend time with my family. We'd love to have you.”

But that was the point, Ruth knew. If she spent the holidays with Kristy and her family, she would once again be the visitor, the outsider looking in. And, well, she'd done that. She'd done that a lot.

At the Rhodeses' house, she was becoming a part of them. Oh, not really. She of course realized that she wasn't actually a member of the family. She was only a paid employee. But because those
kinner
were so needy, because Martin seemed to appreciate every little thing she did, even when she didn't do it very well—it made her feel needed.

“Kristy, I've spent most of my life trying to be grateful for any attention. I made due with less affection, less time, less things. Less everything.”

“Oh, Ruth—”

She held up a hand. “I'm sorry. I know I sound sorry for myself. Pitiful, even. But that's not how I'm trying to be. It's just that it's been hard, and I fear that I'm in this place where I am now because of all those experiences.”

“Anyone would feel that way,” Kristy pointed out.

Ruth wondered if that was true. Her childhood had been less than ideal. But she also realized that she wasn't the only grown woman to have to deal with some painful memories.

“Now, after spending time with the Rhodes family, I feel a bit like one of Martin's Christmas trees. I'm sturdy and just fine on my own. But if I was mixed in with some festive decorations and maybe even covered with lights, I would glow with happiness.”

Kristy frowned. “Ruth, you already are special. You don't need anything more to be worthy.”

“I'm not trying to be worthy, Kristy. I just want to surround myself with a little bit of brightness and merriment. Soon enough, I'll go back to my regular life. I'll go back to being plain old Ruth. But right now God has given me an opportunity to be an actual part of a family this Christmas. They aren't asking me to stay with them because they feel obligated or out of pity. They need me.”

“They need you to cook and clean and nurse them through chicken pox.”

“I know that. However, they also need me to read stories and hold their hands and make cards and games. They need to have a merry Christmas in spite of their being sick, their father being overworked, and their mother being gone to heaven.” She lowered her voice. “But what they don't realize is that I need to be around those
kinner
and Martin even more. I feel that they might not realize it but the Lord does, and He's given me this opportunity.”

Kristy's eyes looked suspiciously damp. “You need to do what your heart tells you to do. And what you feel the Lord is wanting you to do, too.”

Ruth was so glad Kristy had mentioned the Lord's will. She really did believe that He had to have been guiding them all together. Why else would she have crossed paths with Lovina Keim on the exact day that she'd received notice about her job?

Why else would she feel so at ease around the children when everyone knew they were a handful?

And why else would Ruth—who always kept to herself—even be considering such a thing as moving in with a man and his kids to help out over Christmas? These feelings of openness and happiness, they had to be a gift from God.

He'd been a fool. A scared and frightened one at that.

Why else would he have asked Ruth to move in with them? The moment he'd thrown out his idea, he could practically feel her shock.

And why wouldn't she be shocked? She was a young woman doing him a favor. Of course she would have dozens of other things to do besides help him nurse his children.

But boy, did he wish he wasn't sitting alone at the moment.

Actually, he wasn't exactly alone. He was sitting next to Gregory, who was restlessly sleeping. Across the room, his brother Thomas was sound asleep, never moving or twitching, as was his way. Thomas was as solid a sleeper as he was a busy child. He'd always been that way, too. Even as a baby he'd slept through the night, and Grace had used to press her palm to his chest to make sure it was moving, declaring that she simply couldn't understand how such a busy boy could sleep so soundly.

Gregory, on the other hand, had been the complete opposite. He'd been far more easygoing during his waking hours, but hated to sleep.

At the moment, the pain reliever seemed to be doing some good. His fever had lessened and he'd been asleep for a solid two hours.

Getting to his feet, Martin straightened the sheets around the boy, did the same for Thomas, then quietly walked into the hall.

And was brought up short by the sight of Brigit sitting on the floor of the hallway, Frank curled by her side.

“Hi,” she said.

“Hi to you, too.” Since he was too tired to take her downstairs, he elected to do the easiest thing and simply sit next to her on the floor. “Any special reason you're up?”

She stretched her toes. “Nope. I was up, then I got thirsty. Then I decided to wait for you with Frank.”

“I'm glad Frank was keeping you company.”

“Me, too. He's a
gut
dog.”

“He is. When he's asleep.”

Brigit's lips curved up as she gently petted the dog. After smoothing her little hand over the golden fur a couple of times she glanced up at him. “Are you worried about Gregory?”

“Well, I'm worried about him because I don't want him to be feverish or uncomfortable. But I'm not worried about chicken pox. Most people get it one time or another.”

“Did you get it?”

“Yep. When I was just about your age.”

“Did Mamm?”

“You know what? I'm sure she did, but I don't remember us ever discussing chicken pox.”