Snow's Lament (3 page)

At this question, Rumple looked discomfited. “I don’t know,” he said roughly, which made me happy. For once, he wasn’t a know-it-all, and that gave me a sense of hope since I always felt like such an idiot around him.

“He could be anywhere,” Robin said. “I’m familiar with the forested area, but it would take us ages to find him.”

“We should find someone who knew him well and see what they know.”

Rumple nodded with approval. “Wise idea, young Belle. It is rumored Simeon had a young woman he carried on with in a village close to the North Woods.”

“Carried on with?” I snorted.

“I prefer to stray from vulgarities. It is not normally necessary to use inappropriate words to get your point across.”

He sounded so prim and proper, I couldn’t help the wide grin spreading across my face. “Robin,” I said in an affected posh accent, “could we please find the woman Simeon was dallying with? Perhaps we could discuss this more over high tea?”

Robin snorted. “Certainly, mistress,” he said, his clipped accent even more defined. “With the Sterling silver tea set and good china, I presume?”

“Yes, yes.” I fluttered a hand at him. “Do be a dear and get that started, would you?”

Rumple, grumpy as always, grunted. He was a real buzzkill to have around. Speaking of which…

“Are you planning to stay here?” The thought disturbed me more than I wanted to admit. My house wasn’t big enough for all these egos.

Rumple met my gaze. “Why? Would it bother you if I did?”

From the corner of my eye, I noticed Cyndi stiffen. It would bother me, but I’d bet it would bother Cyndi more. I wondered why. It was obvious she wanted him, definitely in a physical way, but I wasn’t sure about the rest. Once this debacle was over, they were bound to each other through a contract. She would be forced to go with him anyway—a fact that kept me awake at night with worry for her. She’d accepted his contract to help us out, but at least once a day I poked and prodded through the parts of the contract I remembered to see if there was any type of loophole that could be exploited. So far, I’d come up with nada.

I chose my words carefully. “You are welcome to stay here if you wish. Our sofa is a pull-out, so you could sleep there.”

Confusion swept over his face. “A pull-out?”

I tried not to smile. “The couch is also a bed.”

“Interesting. I find Earth curious.”

“You’ve never been here?” From his attire, he seemed to fit in, but overall, Rumple was like a fish out of water. He was too handsome, too powerful, too…everything to be of this land.

He shook his head. “I came when I knew you were about to make a huge mistake.”

I studied him, my thoughts swirling. “How did you know?”

His gaze shuttered. “It matters not.”

Cyndi stiffened and sucked in her breath. “You…you were spying on us!” She toyed with a charm she wore on her bracelet. I hadn’t noticed it before, but there was a gem hanging off one of the links on the silver chain. It was amber and small. She unhooked her bracelet and shoved it in his face. “I waited to use this because I didn’t want to ask for a favor and you knew what was going on the entire time!”

Emotion after emotion flickered over her face—disgust, anger, confusion, and finally, fury. “You jerk. Can you see through this thing? Is this like some pervy magic camera? Did you—did you watch me take a shower?”

Her hands shook in anger as she dropped the bracelet and stomped on the charm with the heel of her boot. The gem crunched and a brilliant stream of light shot through the room as its magic dispersed.

Rumple looked devastated. “I-I would never, Cyndi.” He dropped his head. “You have me all wrong.”

Cyndi wasn’t giving an inch. “I dislike you very much, Rumple.”

I bit my lip to keep from laughing. She didn’t mean for it to be funny, she just didn’t have it in her to call someone what they really were. A dirty bastard, in this case.

Cyndi spun on her heel and left us there in an awkward silence.

“Well,” I said after a moment, “guess that answered that question. How about we get back to the subject of Simeon?”

We avoided talking about Cinderella for the next few hours. She never came out of her room and we gave her the space she needed. I couldn’t help but feel a little bit sorry for Rumple. He, in his own way, seemed to care for her, but he was completely oblivious to the ways of women. He was also quite possibly a pervert, but I think he might have been telling the truth when he said he didn’t spy on her in that way. He seemed to be the kind of man who was only interested in further securing his power base. I did sense a potent sexual hunger within him, directed only toward Cyndi, but other than that, he seemed to be…asexual. It was a strange combination.

She would need to be careful around him. And I would continue to try to find a loophole in her deal with him to keep her out of his grasp. Her time with us was running out.

As it turned out, we would be forced to work with Rumple. Maleficent wasn’t around and she was the only one we knew who could open a portal, besides him. We agreed he would open the portal for us, but as much as we tried, he wouldn’t guarantee it would be open when we were finished. He didn’t see the point in returning back here, and even though we argued about it, it was essentially useless. He wasn’t from Earth. His life was in the Enchanted Forest and he thought ours was too, so he didn’t see why we should have to come back.

In a way, he was right, but I still had material things and memories to go through. I wanted to have a way back here even if everything worked out and I claimed my throne. This thought bothered me. I’d been here for so long, Earth felt like home now. The Enchanted Forest seemed like a vacation spot, although being there was anything but a vacation for us. So far, it was bruises, fighting, and a whole lot of bad memories.

In the end, we were at a stalemate and forced to agree with Rumple. We would have to find Maleficent if we wanted to get back here. We needed a couple days to prepare, so Rumple agreed to stay and allow us the opportunity to draft up a somewhat feasible plan to find Simeon and we agreed to try to stay alive in the process.

Five fairytale characters walk into a kitchen…and awkwardness reigned supreme. I would have never thought the most powerful sorcerer of our times would ever see me in my pajamas, but there he was, smirking at me as I poured myself a cup of coffee while wearing my favorite old pair of pink and white flannel pajamas. I hated pink, but I loved those pajamas.

Cinderella bought them for me a few birthdays ago and I was horrified at first, but once I realized how soft and fuzzy they were, I rarely wore anything else. This was even to my detriment because a couple times, Cyndi and Belle staged an intervention and were close to holding me down and wrestling those pants off me. I compromised and washed them a couple times a week and they finally calmed down once they realized I no longer smelled.

I gave Rumple the death stare and dared him with my gaze to say one word. Not everyone could look gorgeous when they woke up. Rumple seemed to possess that rare gift. He sat there, his powerful frame filling up my kitchen table, wearing a pair of gray sweats and a black t-shirt. It was bizarre to see him dressed like that, looking like he owned the place. Plus, it pissed me off. I lived here and I never looked that comfortable.

Jerk.

There was an oppressive air smothering the kitchen. We had another day and a half to prepare and then we were heading back home. Even Robin, the most chatty of our motley crew, was quiet this morning. I looked over my shoulder and smiled. He stood behind me, his face expressionless, his mug dangling between his thumb and forefinger. He was terribly handsome and we’d talked before about why we’d never gotten together, but the truth was, I viewed him like the brother I never had—or ever wanted. I loved him, that was true, but it wasn’t the all-consuming, breathless feeling I had with Max. Plus, when he and Belle were in the room together, you could practically see the fireworks exploding. Those two were as different as night and day, but if I knew one thing, it was people, and those two belonged together.

I’d been meaning to talk to him for awhile about it, but it was difficult. It wasn’t a big house and as soon as we got within three feet of each other, Belle came around as if she had some kind of radar that told her when she was about to be discussed. We tried to communicate with looks a couple times, but it didn’t go so well and ended with us giving each other confused,
WTF
faces.

They were both my friends and they were both hurting. You would have thought living in this close proximity together for so long would have forced them into an epic, soul-cleansing fight, but no, they were usually annoyingly polite with each other until I wanted to scream. The tension expanding between them was so tight, I could bounce on it like a trampoline. I was trying my absolute best to stay out of it. They were two adults who obviously had history, and it was none of my business.

I was truly trying to stay out of it.

But it was killing me not to know.

I sat down at the bar, my fingers curled around my cup of salvation. Robin settled in beside me and shoulder bumped me.

“Hey,” he said.

“Hey back.” I grinned at him over the rim of the mug I’d lifted to my lips.

“So, this is all super awkward,” he said.

“Definitely. My house is way too small for all this craziness.”

Belle leaned against the counter across the kitchen, trying as hard as she could to be nonchalant, but I knew her well enough to know she was dying to hear what we were talking about. Cyndi stood stiffly at the stove, stirring eggs into an unrecognizable mess. I wouldn’t be eating those.

“Way too small,” Robin concurred. His gaze flicked over to Belle and away before she noticed.

I leaned in, appreciating his clean male scent, and felt a pang for Max. “Eventually, one of you will break,” I whispered.

“It will be me,” he said.

Tears filled my eyes.
Oh, Robin
. “Maybe you need to break.”

“Maybe she needs to bend.” His jaw clenched and he white-knuckled his coffee mug.

“Even the strongest of trees flex when the wind blows.” I sipped my coffee and waggled my eyebrows when he turned to look at me.

“Deep,” he said and chuckled.

“I am not just a bad ass with a gun. I’m a secret poet.”

“She’d need a hurricane to blow through here before she moved.”

By now, Belle was staring at us with open hostility. Our voices were low, but she’d have to be oblivious not to realize we were talking about her.

“So, go stir some wind up,” I said, and patted him on the leg.

He put his hand over mine and squeezed. “Later. Now isn’t the time. We have a queen we need to get back on her throne.”

I frowned. “This whole gem thing has me freaked out. I’m not sure why Simeon has to be the one to activate it, especially if I’m next in line for the throne.”

Robin leaned over and whispered in my ear, “Do not trust the ancient one. He helps only when there’s something in it for him.”

I whispered back, “Cyndi. That’s his prize. The faster we take down Naomi, the faster he can take her.”

His amber gaze met mine. “But is that the only thing he wants? It doesn’t mean he’s telling the truth. Beware,” he murmured.

Robin slipped off the bar seat, lifted his mug, and winked at Belle. He washed the remnants of his coffee away and slipped out of the room, leaving me to ponder his words. Belle watched him hungrily as he walked away.

By now, Cyndi had moved over to the table and sat across from Rumple, silent as she picked at the hot mess of eggs on her plate. She was still furious at him and hadn’t said two words all morning. It was a bad way to go into things, but I wasn’t sure how I could help her. For all intents and purposes, they were the worst match on the planet. She was blonde and a little—sometimes
a lot
—naïve. He was ancient, powerful, brilliant, and quite possibly psychotic. But the thing is, they had the same problem as Robin and Belle. When they were in the room together, there was a powerful tension between them. Rumple obviously cared about her and Cyndi…well, I wasn’t quite sure how she felt about him. She thought he was hot, but that wouldn’t help her when her time was up.

I shook my head as I stood to rinse out my mug. I was doing a good job of staying out of everyone’s business, but it didn’t stop thoughts of them and why they were acting so dumb from taking up so much of my time. I had to find Simeon so I could get him to activate the gem. I had to displace the evil bitch sitting on my throne, and I needed to find my way back to Max and hope he wasn’t feeling sociopathic again by the time I found him.

I swept past all the awkwardness and took a deep breath of fresh air as soon as I stepped out of the kitchen. I’d give them a few more minutes to get themselves together before I started putting a boot in everyone’s tail.

#

Guns, knives, and weapons were spread out across my bed like an old lover beckoning me into his embrace.

“Calm yourself, lass,” Robin said in an amused voice. “I wish you looked at me the way you’re looking at your guns.”

I snorted. “No you don’t. You only have eyes for a certain gorgeous bookworm.”

“That’s because a certain blue-eyed beauty has never given me the time of day.” He winked at me and picked up one of my favorite blades: a wicked stiletto etched with power runes. I’d never been able to get the runes to flare, but it was a gorgeous piece nonetheless. I bought it off EBay from a gamer who thought it was merely a showpiece he picked up at a Ren Faire. I did him a favor and took it off his hands for fifty bucks. When I actually won the auction, I screamed out loud, wondering how in the hell I’d gotten so lucky.

Robin’s long, tan fingers caressed the knife and he lifted it to the light to study the markings. He whistled long and low. “Where did you find this?”

I shrugged. “You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.”

“Did you slit some poor bastard’s throat and rob it off his still warm corpse?” A hint of a smile played on his lips.

“Nope. Even worse.”

His eyebrows rose as he flicked his gaze to mine. “Oh?”

I grinned. “EBay.”

“No shit?” His head reared back. “You lucky, lucky girl.”

A thought occurred to me. It could be the last time we were here. I couldn’t afford to carry everything through. “You can keep the blade if you like it.”

His features morphed into surprise. “Truly?” He shook his head. “I couldn’t.”

“You can. I’d love for you to have it. I might end up leaving some of this stuff behind, especially if we can’t make it back here.”

He studied my face. “I’d be honored to keep it,” he said after a moment. Robin picked up the etched leather case and slipped the knife into it with reverence. He clipped it onto his belt. “My thanks, fair Snow.”

I tipped my head. “My pleasure.” And it was. I loved it, but I could only take and use so many things, and my weapon of pleasure lately had been my Sigs.

We worked in silence for awhile, sorting out which weapons we could take and which needed to stay behind. I had my Sig and backup gun, another wicked stiletto tucked into my left boot, and a small dagger snuggled into the other one. This was a practice run before leaving tomorrow, but so far, I thought I could take at least six weapons on my person and pack the rest in my bag, just in case. My hair had grown out a few inches since our last foray into the Enchanted Forest, so I was able to slide my hair up in a bun and put two more blades in to hold it  together. They looked like pretty hair pins, but when you pulled them out, they were thin, sharp blades. It took me awhile before I could work with them without cutting my scalp. The tops were rounded with dark purple amethysts mounted in the setting. Beautiful and deadly—my favorite kind of weapon.

Robin never left home without his bow and arrow, but he was also a pragmatist and carried guns too. I’d rarely seen him use one since he was super handy with the bow. This time, though, we needed to plan for every contingency, so he packed two small handguns, the dagger I’d given him, extra ammo and arrows, and blinding powder, something I’d proudly ground up in my own kitchen. I’d never used it, but it could have come in handy a few times. Apparently, Robin thought so too. I watched as he tipped the vial out into a small, easily opened box, and clipped it onto his belt loop.

When he finished, I motioned for him to hand the powder to me and I did the same, only using a wooden vial instead of a box. I clipped that inside of my bra and moved my arms back and forth, confident I still had a full range of movement.

We grinned at each other, one lunatic to another, and slowly began to unstrap our weapons, laying them in a pile on the floor for tomorrow.

“I’m glad we could bond over sharp knives and gunpowder,” I said happily.

Robin chuckled. “You should get out more.”

I bristled. “The last person who said that to me got punched.”

He held up his hands. “I take it back. Max seems to like them crazy, so carry on.”

“That’s more like it.” I looked at the mess covering my bed. “Let’s pack a couple bags full of extra stuff we think we should bring and put the rest of this away.”

“As you wish.”

I sighed.
The Princess Bride
. Belle was an idiot if she didn’t jump on him and ride him into the sunset. “Thanks, Robin” was the only thing I said.

#

Dinner was just as awful as breakfast had been, but worse this time because we all sat at the table like some dysfunctional sitcom family. I went over the game plan for the next day—which wasn’t much, I had to admit, but it was something.

Rumple would open the portal, we would all go through, and then we would find Simeon. We decided to start in the North Woods to look for Simeon’s paramour (his word, not mine), and then venture close to areas of water because it would be the most likely spot for someone to want to stay. Electricity was sparse in the Enchanted Forest simply because it wasn’t a land full of technology. It could be manipulated, as shown by Maleficent and her surprising BBC addiction, but it took someone with wicked smarts and ample power. I wasn’t sure Simeon had either one of those. However, I did not discount Naomi’s smarts. It was likely she would be looking in the same places as us and we needed to stay on our toes if we ran into her.

In my rampant, overly superhero-ish daydreams, I always imagined running into Naomi and completely destroying her. I’d crow in delight as I held her severed head up for an adoring audience who would scream with delight at the gore and my victory. Alas, real life didn’t actually go like that, and Naomi was crazy powerful. I wasn’t arrogant enough to believe it was wits that allowed us to win last time—more like sheer, dumb luck. That seemed to be my thing lately. Some wits, some strokes of sheer genius, and a whole lot of how-the-hell-did-that-happen luck. I also wasn’t naïve enough to think my luck would hold out, especially when a power hungry tyrant was involved.

Soon, it would be do or die. I just hoped it would be me with the doing and Naomi with the dying. A girl could only dream, right?

The atmosphere was subdued, but underneath it all was an air of excitement. We were about to have another adventure. Finally! We’d been close to living out the rest of our days over literature and a Scrabble board if we hadn’t found anything. In which case, I would have been on the hunt for a ceiling rafter, a rope, and a rickety chair. I was only halfway kidding about it, too. When things were normal, I would either be working or hunting for some new artifact. Cyndi would be out doing her wish thing—which still freaked me out by the way—and Belle would have been doing her thing. Never the twain would have met and all that.

Now, we were all inexorably bound by friendship, hope, and a little bit of terror. We would stick together to the end because we were friends—no, we were family. I just hoped by the time the cards fell, we were still strong in our relationships with each other. Right now, I could feel the secrets between us. Even though I wasn’t sure we all knew what our secrets were, all of us would be exposed soon enough—for better or worse.

There was only one odd man out here: Rumple. I was comforted by his presence simply because I knew the odds of some supernatural power screwing with us and getting away with it within the next twenty-four hours was extremely low. I could probably go to sleep tonight with no worries…unless he tried to slit my throat in my sleep. I sighed. My paranoia sure was good for giving me insomnia.