Snuff the Magic Dragon (and other Bombay Family Bedtime Stories) (Greatest Hits Mysteries) (4 page)

“And that is the end of the discussion.” Mom narrowed her eyes at us. “We leave in the morning.” And with that announcement, she left.

“I guess if we don’t tell the other Bombays,” Ria started.

“Then they won’t get upset about it,” I finished.

An hour later we were in bed. Staring at the ceiling, I began to think about the concern in Mom's eyes. If she was that worried, I started to worry that we might, in fact, need Mom and Lydia’s help. Which worried me even more. At seventeen, Ria and I were supposed to be working on our own.

“Sam?” Ria said quietly. “We’ll come up with something. We won’t need Mom.”

“My thoughts exactly. Night Ria,” I said with a great deal less confidence.

* * *

Aegina was a gorgeous little island with full sun and cute boys. Not that we had time for that. After arriving, we made our way to Lydia’s house, and after unpacking (you simply cannot have toooo many sandals!) the four of us made our way into town.

Ria and I told Mom and Lydia that we were going to check out the theater where Draco was slated to perform in two days. Only two days! Mom and Lydia decided to do some research.

The theater was the typical round-type arena. Boring. The crowd would enter from two locations, and Draco would already be installed in a dressing room at ground level. At the appropriate time, he would enter the stadium, and the crowd would cheer.

“You never told me what you overheard the other day,” I said to Ria as we headed back to the festival (with, I might add, no ideas).

“The big thing,” my sister said, “is that they are worried Draco won’t get a huge, warm welcome. He’s less popular than he was twenty years ago. They want him hailed as a hero.”

I nodded. “All I heard was what clothes everyone was wearing. Then they had a bit of a pissing match over who had the most colorful and heaviest woolen cloak for the event.” I rolled my eyes for effect.

Ria clutched my arm and stopped suddenly. “That’s it!” She threw her arms around me and squeezed. “I know exactly what to do!”

I frowned. What was it? A bunch of talk about how to get the people to honor Draco and the thickness of women’s cloaks? And then it dawned on me. Yes!

* * *

It took us a while to find Mom and Lydia, but once we did we dragged them home and told them about our plan.

Lydia and Mom looked at each other and burst out laughing. They weren’t twins, but were very close.  Maybe they could read each other’s minds too?

“That’s very imaginative!” Mom said as she wiped her tears of laughter away.

“What makes you think you can pull it off?” Lydia asked between gasps.

Ria shrugged nonchalantly. “You don’t have to do it with us.”

“We can do this ourselves,” I finished. “It’s just a matter of marketing.”

Mom and Lydia looked at each other, then leaned forward. “What are you planning, specifically?” they asked in unison. I guess they were a lot like us after all.

So we told them. And they started laughing. Again.

In this day and age in Greece, applause is so, so yesterday. The real way to honor someone is to throw your cloaks, tunics and hats onto the floor of the arena when they enter. It’s considered one of the biggest props you can show. Yes, it’s stupid. And how do you collect your clothing afterward? What if you really, really liked that cloak?

But the wealthy don’t care. They will do it to show that they can afford another cloak. And they want everyone to see them throw their cloak. That’s the important thing. We’d just use their vanity.

The Aeginian politicians would love this because it would honor Draco’s visit, and they want to show all of Greece that they revere the idiot who wrote those stupid laws. We’d just use their need for spin.

And hopefully, we would smother Draco to death under the weight of a thousand wool cloaks and hats before he even uttered a word. It’s brilliant really. You’re welcome.

It would be expensive. We needed to find a printer to make handbills to hand out to every one of the ten thousand attendees, encouraging them to send their capes to the
theater floor. And we needed to volunteer at the theater to hand out the handbills so they went to everyone.

Actually, that was the easy part. Who wouldn’t want a pair of cute twins working for them? We told the management we were huge Draco fans (gross!), and they loved the idea. Mostly, they loved the idea that we were encouraging the guests to honor Draco. It would make them look great. 

Of course we went to the theater in disguise as blondes. The wigs were pricey, but we’d had them for years just in case something like this came up. We couldn’t go as ourselves—what if someone figured it out? Duh!

Mom and Lydia, on the other hand, had their own tasks. As wealthy women, they infiltrated the bored housewives club and spread the word that
the
latest
thing
would be to take your heaviest, most expensive cloak to the theater that night and throw it away on the arena floor. You might think this would be laughed at – but it wasn’t. Word spread like wildfire, and outrageous competitions arose to see who would outdo whom.

“I hope this works,” Ria said as she paid five hundred drachmas to the printer. Again, we were wearing our blonde wigs and a bit too much makeup.

“If it doesn’t, we'll just have to do something else. The great thing about this plan is that it doesn’t seem to be what it is.” I had to be vague because we were in public. Ria knew what I meant.

Back at the house, Mom and Lydia were drinking wine on the terrace. Lydia had an amazing view of the sea, so we joined them and showed them the handbills.

“In honor of the visit from the Legislator Draco,” Mom read slowly, “please show your pride and appreciation by tossing your cloaks out of deference to this great man!”

“Cheesy,” Aunt Lydia said. “But the way the society matrons have leaped on the idea means it just might work.”

“What I like about it,” Mom replied, “is that there’s very little risk to you girls. It wasn’t like that when we were seventeen, was it Lyd?”

Her sister shook her head vigorously. “No it was not. If we had an assignment back then, we stabbed the guy and ran like Hades!”

Mom laughed. “Ah the good old days! Now—”  She pointed at our huge stack of fliers.  “ —it’s all spin and publicity.”

Lydia nodded. “Things sure have changed.”

Ria and I rolled our eyes. I mean really! Listening to them talk about the “good old days” was nauseating.

* * *

The next morning we were up at dawn and getting ready. Ria and I had to be at the arena early with our fliers. Mom and Aunt Lydia had rounded up everybody they knew and were going to tailgate in front of the stadium. They were even taking extra cloaks. So prepared!

I personally liked the tailgate idea. Mom thought a drunken party before the event would encourage people even more to throw their clothes. It was an epic idea.

It took a little longer for Ria and me to get ready. The wigs were hot and a total pain, but we wanted to make them look like our real hair. We added more makeup than normal to further disguise ourselves and even wore colored chitons. Normally, we just wear white. Two blondes were rare in Greece. Twin blondes would be a huge novelty—which would help with flier distribution. That was what we were counting on.

The tailgate party was in full swing when we set up at the arena. Ria and I each covered an entrance and both looked out at the front. Mom and Lydia really nailed their job. I think everyone attending Draco’s event was drinking out there. Good. Drunks made it all better.

Draco arrived with a huge entourage of Aeginian and Athenian lawmakers. He came through my entrance.

“One of the blonde twins.” The manager pointed me out, and I bowed in deference. Draco nodded appreciatively and took one of the fliers from my hand.

“What a stroke of genius!” Draco roared with glee. 

“Thank you!” The manager bowed and scraped. I didn’t mind him taking all the credit. If it worked the way we wanted it to, he would be also saddled with the blame…sort of.

Draco put his hand on my arm and gave me a leering grin. It took all I had not to cringe and pull away. He had to believe I was his biggest fan—that was what we’d told the manager.

So I beamed and nodded. When he took his hand off me, I sighed with relief. I was sure I’d been forgotten moments later as they took Draco to his dressing room.

People began lurching through the doorway a few moments later, and I handed each and every one of them a handbill. I’d never seen so many expensive, brightly colored woolen cloaks! The local society was really doing their part! I made a mental note to thank Mom and Lydia later.

“Don’t forget to throw your cloaks out of respect when Draco steps onto the floor!” I called out as I handed out all my thousands of handbills. Everyone was having a pretty good time from the huge tailgate party out front. They rushed past me without giving me a second glance.
             

As soon as I handed out my last flier, I raced to the other entrance to join Ria, who was just handing out the last of hers. We looked at each other, then raced up into the stands to watch what would happen.

We had stashed our cloaks earlier underneath where we planned to sit. Sitting near Mom and Lydia would not be a good idea. We didn’t want anyone to connect us to each other. Besides, Lydia still operated on this island, and we didn’t want to endanger her turf.

Our work was done, really. All we could do was sit and wait. Have you ever been a teenage girl who had to sit and wait? It’s agonizing torture. Ria and I were so nervous we couldn’t even talk. What’s that about?

Time was passing slowly, and the audience was growing impatient. A new worry crept in. What if they started to sober up? What if Draco was a total diva and decided to be fashionably late? What if people threw their cloaks too early?

I’d only ever seen a cloak drop once. It was a kindly old poet from Sparta. Because it was the heat of the summer, people only threw light tunics. The poet was so happy he cried, which was cool cuz he seemed nice.

This would be different, if it worked at all, I told myself. I pinched Ria, who was examining her manicure again. She gave me a look that said,
What can we do but wait?

The trumpets started up, and the crowd was on its feet. The moment had arrived! The fanfare ended, and at the far end of the arena, Draco stepped forward onto the floor, arms raised and a smile on his face. The crowd cheered and a few cloaks began to fall as Draco walked toward the center of the arena.

I held my breath, waiting to see if we pulled it off. The crowd began to roar as Draco stopped in the center of the floor, arms raised as he spun around.

Cloaks and hats rained down on the man like a wool thunderstorm. The sky was blocked by the thousands of huge, heavy rectangles of cloth that fell. It was more than I ever imagined. As more fell, the crowd got louder and rowdier.

On the arena floor, cloaks started to land on Draco. He laughed like a child, delighted in the amount of tribute. What an egomaniac. More and more clothes filled the air and more piled on top of him.

Draco laughed a bit more, crawling out from the cloaks only to be covered by more. He started to struggle with the weight of the material, and his smile began to fade.

The amazing amount of clothing inspired the crowd to roar louder as if they were going for a world record. To my shock, men around me began stripping to the waist, throwing as much as they could. Even sandals were starting to rain down.

“Well this is a bit much,” I mumbled to Ria, who seemed hypnotized by the frenzied mob. The smell of half-naked, sweaty and drunken men around us was dizzying, and the air started to fill with fuzz of all things.

On the floor, Draco was seriously struggling. After a moment, I lost sight of him entirely as more and more cloaks, chitons and tunics flew from the stands. The lump beneath the weight of material slowed in its struggling. It was alarming and fascinating at the same time.

The manager seemed to realize what was happening and started to run out onto the floor, shouting for the crowd to stop. They just buried him too—not fatally, I think.

Draco’s entourage started to run out to the floor, dodging the capes as they made their way to the middle. More clothing flew, and I worried that the people around me were now completely naked. I didn’t even look to see, but I thought I saw Ria turn.

The men on the floor were desperately trying to keep themselves above the material as they tore at the covered body of Draco. The crowd had gone completely berserker, seeming to forget what they were doing there.

Ria tapped me on the arm and I nodded. We fought our way through the crowd until we made it to the ground level. I was covered in bumps and bruises and half deaf before we made it there.

The manager had been knocked unconscious and was being carried out by a few men. Several of the entourage had given up and crawled out past us. The crowd was just starting to calm down. It was as if they were hypnotized, and I thought they looked like they didn’t know where they were.