She was guilty of a lot of things, but this wasn’t one of them.
“That’s exactly what I’m saying. Whether or not you believe me is up to you.”
He made a disbelieving noise in the back of his throat as he leaned his hands on the desk. “You promised me a hell of a lot more than your fidelity. Love. Honor. Cherish.” His lips twisted and she swore there was something that resembled pain in his eyes. “Better or worse,” he continued. “Richer or poorer. Sickness and health. Do you remember those?”
“And you haven’t kept a thing hidden from me over the years? What about all this?” She swept her hand out, encompassing his office. One wall was almost completely windows, looking out over the sharp relief of the hills. “You didn’t tell me about DMQ. You let me believe you were the same old Devin.” Her voice rose and her breath caught. “You don’t run the old place at all, do you? You don’t even live there.”
It made sense. The old furniture, the nearly empty cupboards. It was still his, but it wasn’t his home. The moment she’d realized it she’d felt so stupid. As Ella confronted him, those feelings came rushing back. It was humiliating.
“Sit down. You’re getting worked up.”
She thought of the biggest lie of all standing between them and sank weakly into the chair. She’d wanted to keep this cool, business-like. And within seconds the whole situation had flared into a passionate
he said she said
. Exactly what she hadn’t wanted.
“You also didn’t tell me you were planning on paying all of Betty’s medical bills.” She took a deep breath, let it out. Felt pleased at how her last sentence had come out just as she intended. Cold, professional and skewering him to the spot. The brief look of surprise in his eyes spoke volumes. “You never wanted me to know, did you?”
“I never intended for
anyone
to find out. That was a private matter.” His jaw tightened.
She smiled smugly. “Then you should have covered your tracks better. Why didn’t you just pay her bill? Why the benefit?”
Devin sighed. “Because I understand something that you never have. There is a community here. People band together. My lawyer was handling the legal part with the HMO. The benefit was supposed to help Betty with some of her expenses.”
Ella shook off the feeling of being chastised and focused on the issue at hand. “But?”
“But the legal channels were taking too long and Betty needed to start her treatment. The few thousand we raised is a drop in the bucket, you know that. So I paid for her chemotherapy.” He sent her a hard stare. “Anonymously.”
Devin regarded her for several seconds, and that slow turning returned to her stomach. A teasing or even angry Devin she knew how to deal with. But he was neither of those things right now. He was calculating. In control.
“Nothing is truly anonymous if you know where to look.”
He gave a small, satisfied smile and resumed his seat. “Exactly. I didn’t realize my finances were going to be examined quite so closely. You found out about Betty, but you didn’t know I owned DMQ? Do you honestly expect me to believe that?”
Of course he would pick up on her mistake. The truth was she hadn’t
wanted
to know. She hadn’t wanted to see how Devin was living without her. It was easier to think of him still at the cabin. Easier to think of him exactly as she’d found him that night at Ruby Shoes. It made her decisions feel that much more justified. So while she’d done scads of research during her degree and now for her job, the topic of Devin was one she left very much alone. That denial was coming back to bite her in the ass…big time.
“Wow, you really do have an ego, don’t you?” She flashed a smart-aleck smile that she didn’t feel. “I didn’t have any reason to check up on you. We were
over
. If I hadn’t been looking into Betty’s story, I wouldn’t have known a thing. Your little deception last weekend would never have been discovered.”
“And are you disappointed?”
She wrinkled her brow. “What do you mean?”
He rocked back in his chair, tossed his pen down on a blotter. “It was easier to think of me being that deadbeat, wasn’t it?”
That he could still see inside her thoughts as clearly as he always had was disconcerting. “You’re talking nonsense.”
“Oh come on. You made it perfectly clear when you bought me in that auction. You thought I was still on the ranch, thought I still lived in that tiny place content with a beer and a ball game.”
Ella had the grace to blush. It was exactly what she’d thought.
He rose from his chair and came around the desk. “You never did give me enough credit, Ella. DMQ is mine. I decided building wasn’t enough. I wanted to own the properties I was building.”
“It’s obviously working for you.”
He stood in front of her, close enough she could smell his aftershave, their bodies only inches apart. It was like a hit to the gut, the scent taking her back a mere few weeks to the cabin and being held against his muscled, bare chest. Her breasts peaked in response and she was at once grateful for the dark blazer hiding the evidence.
“Tell me something,” he murmured, his voice silky in the quiet of the office. “Am I more attractive to you now that you know I have money?”
Ella bit down on her lip, unbearably turned on by his nearness and abashed by his accusation. “That’s not it,” she tried, but knew it came out sounding shallow and insincere.
“Does it help to know I’m a millionaire? Does that make me irresistible? Do you still want a divorce now? Or are you back for half of everything?”
He took a step closer and she swallowed. Her body was going into overdrive just having him this near. What was it about him that kept her wanting more? That made her forget all the reasons why they were wrong for each other and simply crave the feeling of his body pressed against hers?
“Dev, don’t…” The protest came out weakly. Dear God, she’d come as a last chance to get his signature, and she was carrying his child. How could she possibly…
Devin erased all thoughts from her mind as he took the last step in, the lapels of his jacket brushing seductively against the tips of her breasts as her breathing labored. His gaze burned into hers and his lips parted. She wanted those lips on hers. She wanted them everywhere. The muscles between her legs clenched in anticipation as his gaze slid down her face to the V in her blazer, focusing on the shadowed hint of cleavage.
“Does knowing I have a condo overlooking the mountains, one with a very large, very plush bed, make it easier to accept?”
For a breath, the words seemed to lodge in her throat. Both their chests rose and fell like runaway trains, straining against endless buttons. “Make what easier to accept?” she finally got out, the words sounding squeezed.
His gaze rose, clashed with hers once more. “This,” he growled, then reached out and pulled her flush against his body, his mouth meeting hers in a grand explosion of passion.
Chapter Seven
Devin felt her soft lips open beneath his and his blood surged. He hadn’t been able to erase her from his mind since the morning she’d gone back to Denver. He woke in the night, aroused and in a sweat from seeing her in his dreams. When he’d checked the appointments this morning on his BlackBerry, he’d been darkly pleased to see Ella’s name scheduled in.
It was all working the way he’d wanted for the most part. He knew by not signing the papers he was forcing her hand, ensuring she’d be back. And this time he’d be in control of the situation rather than on the wrong foot. She was unable to avoid the truth any longer—that she’d made a big mistake leaving him behind all those years ago. Now she could see him for who he truly was. What he’d made of himself. What he’d promised her if she’d only be patient. He’d done exactly as he’d said he would, only she hadn’t had faith in him.
He was torn between wanting to rub her nose in it and wanting to ignore it all in favor of another chance in her eyes. How was it that one taste of her made him forget all the reasons why he should still hate her?
Her sun-streaked blonde hair was up in a tidy, professional coil, and he blindly felt with his fingertips, pulling out pins and dropping them carelessly on the floor as he kissed her. The mass of gold fell over his hands, the floral scent of vanilla and jasmine rising from the strands as he twined her hair around his fingers.
She’d haunted his thoughts day and night ever since the auction at Ruby’s when he’d seen her standing there looking like a fish out of water. In her slim skirt and expensive blouse, sipping on ice water and looking like she was above it all. All he could think about was unwrapping the layers, trying to get to the girl he’d fallen in love with.
And now she was here, just like he knew she’d be. One more layer peeled away.
She moaned into his mouth and his pulse leapt. He wanted her so much it was becoming hugely uncomfortable. The fireworks exploding between them were stronger than ever. The night at the cabin had proved that. Had she truly thought he could let her walk away after they’d made love again? After he’d felt her, tasted her, heard her sigh his name in the dark?
No damn way. It had moved well past revenge now. He’d known she was leaving, but he did the one thing he knew would ensure her return. He didn’t sign the decree. He wasn’t the idealistic boy she’d married. This time he’d fight for Ella, and this time it would be on his terms. He wasn’t young, poor and helpless any longer.
His fingers found the buttons of her blazer and he turned them, feeling the thick material fall away as it gaped open. Beneath it she wore a navy silk camisole, soft and sultry. Tiny spaghetti straps held it up, but they were superfluous. Her breasts were rising and falling rapidly with her increased breaths, the peaked nipples straining against the fabric as he covered them with his palms.
Ella pulled away from his kiss, her eyes wide with denial. “No Dev…I didn’t come here for this…”
It wasn’t fear he saw in the blue depths of her gaze. It was uncertainty. And longing. And something else…guilt? He was on good terms with guilt—it was easy to recognize. But what did she have to feel guilty about?
“Then why did you come?” Devin kept his voice soft, seductive, and moved back slightly. He gentled his hands, teasing the tips of her breasts with his fingers. She released a gratifying, shaky breath.
“To get the story…” Her eyes slid closed.
So it wasn’t all about the papers. Or she was covering? Either way, at this moment she wasn’t focused on the divorce. He slid his hand over the curve of her bottom, smiled at her gasp as he drew her close against him. He knew she was focused on exactly the same thing he was. The intense passion between them that had never disappeared.
He moved to the door and flicked the lock, wasting no time. There was no way he wanted to kill the moment. He’d waited years for her to come back. He’d exacted his pound of flesh at the cabin and it had left him unsatisfied. Only holding her in his arms had given any relief. Now he had something to prove—to her, and to himself.
There was no room now for revenge or playing games. This was want, pure and simple. A lust so strong he had only ever felt it for
one
woman. Ella.
When he returned to her, she was scrambling to button the blazer.
“Don’t,” he commanded, and her hands fell still.
“I can’t do this,” she whispered, and the words somehow reached in and touched his heart.
“You don’t want to? Because you know I’d never force you, Ella.” He ran his hand over her hip, grazing her bottom, loving the feel of her in the tidy little skirt. “You say when. You say how far this goes. You know that.”
He hooked a tiny strap around his baby finger. “Your skin is as soft as the silk,” he murmured. But he waited. He could be a very patient man. Years of necessity had taught him how, and then it had paid off in more ways than he’d expected. He’d stayed the course and it had made him a very rich man. He could be patient with Ella too. It didn’t mean he was above being persuasive. Not when he knew it was what they both wanted. “I want to touch it, you know. Your skin. All of it.”
“Why, Dev?” Ella ran her tongue over her lips. “Why now?”
“You haven’t guessed?”
She shook her head, the blonde cascade of hair falling over her shoulders. God, she was beautiful. The need to get back at her for the past faded away, leaving him shaking with the truth. He still loved his wife. Or at least the woman he’d married. But he couldn’t bring himself to say it. There was such a thing as too much honesty, and he didn’t want to hear her denials or have his words handed back to him.
“The last time wasn’t nearly enough. I want you so much it’s killing me not to be inside you right now.”
The words seemed to shimmer in the air.
“But if that’s not what I want?”
It if wasn’t what she wanted, he’d back off. It’d damn near do him in, but he’d do it. He wanted her to come to him of her own free will.
“Is it what you want?”
Silence fell in the room. “We’re in your office,” she whispered, but he heard the temptation in her voice. He knew she was on the verge of giving in and the blood in his veins pulsed faster.
“I don’t give a damn where we are. Do you? The door’s locked.” He caught her gaze with his, let his lips curve up in a conspiratorial grin. “My schedule is open until lunch.”
Ella’s body was going into overdrive and she was fighting as best she knew how. She was here to gather information. But she’d never been able to resist him. It was one of the reasons she’d had to make a clean break. Being near him would have ruined all her plans. It would have muddied the waters. Made her lose her focus.
Like it was now.
But she wanted him, so badly her body was weeping for his touch. The door was locked, and the look in his eyes was electrifying. The memory of how good it was between them refused to fade into the background. There was something forbidden and illicit about his office that excited her.
Goosebumps erupted on her skin as he touched her. What would happen when he found out about the baby? He’d hate her all over again. With his hands on her body and his smooth voice playing devil’s advocate, she weakened, wanting one last time with him before it all blew up. She was like a Devin addict, swearing each time that this was the last one and then succumbing to him all over again.
“Ella,” he murmured, and his fingers grazed the tips of her breasts once more. A rush of desire settled between her legs, hot and wet.
She reached out for his suit jacket and pushed it off his shoulders. It fell to the floor where it would surely crease, but with her hands on him neither of them seemed to care. Her fingers trembled—with anticipation, not fear—as she undid the buttons of his shirt, pulling the tails out of his trousers. Finally, finally, she touched the warmth of his chest, her fingertips playing over the smooth skin. At this moment she didn’t see him as the enemy. Maybe she should. Maybe then common sense would outweigh the elemental excitement from touching him and having him touch her. But it was more than that. As his fingers unzipped her skirt and pushed it down over her hips, she realized she was about to make love to the father of her child.
And as her heart stuttered over the enormity of that fact, she was hit with another.
It
would
be making love. Because she had never stopped loving Devin McQuade. And it was a damnable thing to love a man you were determined to divorce.
Her skin broke out in goosebumps again as he stepped away from her, the heat of his body suddenly absent. She stood before him, dressed in only her navy camisole and matching silk panties, sheer stockings and her favorite silver heels.
“You are more beautiful now than you ever were,” he murmured, staring. “I didn’t think it was possible.”
The words sat on her tongue, begging to be said. That there was a tiny life inside of her that was his. But in all the chaos created by her libido, she was at least clear-headed enough to know he still needed to let her go, and he wouldn’t if he knew she were pregnant. She would not lose herself in him once again. She’d seen enough of that as a child, seeing her mother fall deeply in love, molding herself to her lovers’ expectations only to be abandoned within months.
Marrying Devin had been a mistake, a reaction to a terrible time. She’d been too lonely, too idealistic to see it for what it was. Now it was a one hundred and eighty degree turn. Dev was a highly successful, single businessman. A wife and a baby… She knew her own aspirations would count for nothing. He would expect her to play a supportive role. For him to go from nothing to this… She had been around enough to know how many hours of work that took. He wouldn’t give it up.
There was no room for her here. Not without sacrificing all her dreams and hopes for the future.
So she hugged the secret to herself, wanting, needing, to feel that closeness one last time before their marriage ended one way or another.
“Make love to me, Dev.”
He didn’t need a second invitation. He came forward, the incorrigible smile she adored dawning once again, his body pushing her backwards until her bottom lightly hit the edge of his desk.
She reached for his belt at the same time as he reached for her, sneaking a finger inside the elastic of her panties, touching her deep inside.
Her eyes closed as her hands stilled momentarily. The scrap of silk was forced aside as he cupped her with his hand, torturing her sweetly with his fingers. She moaned softly, fingers working at his button and zipper. She rested her hands on the edge of the desk, bowing backwards as his mouth closed over a silk-encased nipple.
“Dammit, Ell, I don’t have a condom,” he ground out, one hand bracing the middle of her back, the other still working its magic as her knees weakened.
“It’s okay. You don’t need one,” she replied breathlessly. She worked against gravity and forced herself more upright so she could reach inside his trousers and shorts and take him in her hand. So hot, so smooth. His fingers stilled and she felt powerful, knowing her touch had made him forget everything but what her hand was doing. She shifted, perched on the edge of the desk, guided him forward. Devin ripped the scrap of fabric aside and she guided him inside her.
And oh, the feeling. Hot and hard and soft and utterly right. He slid deep, paused, and the connection between them rocked her to the core.
And then he was moving, and her head tipped back, reveling in the feeling of him inside her, touched to the soul by the depth of their union, surrendering to him in the only way she knew how. She heard his name on her lips, a thought given voice. She heard his murmured response and tightened her legs around his waist, linking her shoes behind his back as the sensations grew more demanding, threatening to take over everything. Her skin tingled as her muscles began to contract with urgency. She looked up at Devin. His eyes were focused on hers, so intense they were like blue fire burning into her soul. She bit down on her lip as his arm came around the middle of her back, holding her close as she came completely undone around him.
She was dimly aware of his forceful thrusts as her muscles liquefied. And then he too stilled and the only sound in the office was their harsh breathing, amplified in the passionate silence.
“Ella.”
He held her close so that her cheek rested on his chest, and she felt the vibration of her name even as she heard it. He was still inside her and the feel of him there made her want to weep. It felt like it was exactly where he belonged. And for the first time ever, she questioned her decision to leave him all those years ago. He had been right at the cabin. She had walked out on their marriage. And yet to stay, she had been certain—was still certain, for that matter—that she would have ended up resenting him.
Oh God, it was so confusing. Wanting a man, loving a man and yet knowing you were absolutely wrong for each other.
And now he was part of her job. How on earth was she going to play the angle in the story now? Why would Dev take it upon himself to pay thousands of dollars for a neighbor’s treatment? Why Betty? Every instinct she had told her there was more to the story.
Her heart was telling her it would be wrong to expose his secrets, whatever they might be. But she had always been loyal to the truth. There was no room for loyalty elsewhere. She couldn’t do both.