Authors: Wid Bastian
For Peter Carson, “normal” was a temptation. He knew this and he felt the pull of a possible life with Julie and his son trying to divert him from the path God had set for him.
As humbly as he could, Peter asked God if He would allow him ever to live such a simple life. To worry only about how Kevin was doing at school, to hold down a regular job, to have a mortgage, a sedan, and a dog.
The answer came clearly and instantly. No.
Peter knew that what he was asking for was not evil for other men, but it was for him. God must come first, he told himself, and in my case, there can be nothing second. He was reminded that God had saved him from eternal destruction, and whatever He asked was nothing more than reasonable service.
As he knelt on Alex’s patio in prayer, what Peter was given was not permission from God to retreat into a worldly life, but rather the inspiration and instructions required to implement Alex’s plan. After a few minutes of blessed solitude, Peter went back inside and rejoined the others.
“Well, what did the Boss have to say?” Gail asked. They all knew what Peter was doing out on the veranda.
“Alex, you want to tell our story, don’t you? Have us bear our testimony to the world?”
“Yes, Peter, I do. That seems right to me. Do you agree?”
“For sure, but there is more, isn’t there. You want more.”
“The audience loves a show. To attract the maximum amount of attention, it would help if we could do something, uh, how can I say this? Biblical?”
“Would you like to fly over to Egypt and have Peter part the Red Sea?” Julie said sarcastically.
“Can we do that?” Alex asked, more than half seriously.
“No, well not no, but that’s not what the Lord has in mind.”
Peter spent the next hour going over his ideas, or rather God’s ideas, as expressed through him. Alex took notes and silently concentrated, envisioning how best to implement the concepts. Despite her objections, Gail mostly nodded. She knew by now that once God had given His instructions, it was wiser to listen than to argue. Julie had not yet reached this level of spiritual maturity.
“I know I’m new to all of this and don’t think I don’t believe. I do,” Julie testified. “But Peter, what you’re talking about is insane. Plain crazy. Do you realize what will happen? Do you even give a damn about Kevin and me? I know you’re not my husband anymore, you can’t be because of God, whatever. I have to live with that. But you say you love me and I know you love Kevin. What am I supposed to tell him after they kill you?”
“Whether they kill me or not, Jules, is not a consideration. I must obey.”
“Peter, I can sure understand what Julie is saying. How can we protect you if you do this? Every nut from the tree will fall off and come running after you, not to mention the men who rule this planet. Remember them? They have all the money and the guns.”
“What do you want me to do, Gail?” Peter argued. “Disobey? Tell the Master no? I am His servant, He is not mine.”
“Ask Him again. Tell Him it’s too hard. Tell God you have a family,” Julie pleaded.
“Neither you nor I can bargain with God, Jules. Please, learn this lesson. He knows what is best for us. You must open your heart to Him, Julie. It’s tough, but you’ve got to stop thinking about yourself. Let God take care of you, He’s far better at it than you could ever be.”
In response all Julie could do was cry. Between sobs she said, “Excuse me,” and left to find Kevin, who had been sent to the stables for the morning so the adults could be alone.
“Give her some time, Peter,” Gail suggested. “She is still trying to sort all of this out. You know, Peter, despite her many sins, that woman never stopped loving you. Now that the Lord has touched her heart, all she wants to do is be with you. None of this is easy for her, she’s been through hell.”
“I know, Gail, I know. Seeing Julie like this, vulnerable and open and even a bit humble, how do you think I feel? More than a small part of me wants to run after her, tell her I’ll be her husband again, and find the nearest bedroom where we could spend the next three days naked and alone.
“I’ve asked, Gail. It is His will that must be done, not ours. Don’t think I’m not hurting too.”
“Not to change the subject, but … ” Alex interjected.
“No, please Alex. Change the subject,” Peter begged.
“Are you sure about this? I mean the first part of the strategy, telling your story, how the men all came to be in one place, God’s revelations, I was expecting that. But Peter, I’m sorry if I sound skeptical, but … ”
“How did you put it, Alex? You wanted something ‘Biblical’? Isn’t that what you said?” Peter asked.
“Yes, that’s what I said, but I guess I wasn’t expecting you to take my suggestion so literally.”
“Why not?” Peter replied. “When it comes to God, the closer you get to Him, the more careful you have to be. If what you want is what He wills, you’re likely to get much more than you asked for.”
Thirteen
“I thought this would be easier the second time around. I was wrong. It’s much harder.”
Fifteen days after the adventure in Judge Grove’s courtroom, Peter and Gail were driving back to Parkersboro. They were almost “home.”
“Shall I pull over and let you out, dear?” Gail teased.
“Very funny. You know what I mean. The last couple of weeks have been awesome. Even Julie was coming around by the end. Did you notice that too, Gail?”
“I did. A couple of mornings ago I got up early and had my coffee out on the terrace. Wasn’t much past six thirty. I heard some mumbling and looked over at the fountain and there was Julie, still in her nightgown and robe, on her knees praying. She saw me and then I joined her.”
“My Jules praying. Trying to be obedient and righteous. That’s a miracle, Gail … ”
“But?”
“But it’s so unfair. When we both finally get it right, we aren’t allowed to be together. I’ve really been fighting my flesh, Gail. You have no idea.”
“Desiring a little horizontal recreation are we, Mr. Carson?”
“Like you wouldn’t believe, but that is only part of it.”
“I know, well I think I understand at least. I’ve never had a husband, much less an ex.”
“Consider yourself blessed. I hope the water is still cold in the dorm. Boy, do I need a long run and a brisk shower.”
Neither Gail McCorkle nor Peter Carson had much time now for any personal distractions. They had been put on a tight schedule. For Peter especially, this was a blessing. Preaching the Word and living it were two different things, Peter knew that, but the level and intensity of his passions had both humbled and frightened him.
Panos Kallistos discovered that he still loved his ex-wife, and not in a purely agape manner. He had thought that all of those feelings, those deep yearnings that in so many ways had led him into sin were dead and gone, buried along with his “old man.” Peter’s emotional revelation was anything but trivial. God’s plan for his life, for the first time since his awakening in the prison library, now had some competition.
Kevin didn’t make it any easier. Like any child of divorced parents, it was his heart’s desire to see his father and mother reunited. Peter did his best to explain why this wasn’t possible, at the same time reassuring Kev that never again would his parents fight or be bitter and ugly toward each other.
It was during one of these father and son sessions that Peter’s flesh reared up and asked,
Why? Why must you say no to your son? After all he’s been through, doesn’t he deserve better?
This opened the door for a demon to suggest to him that the God Peter served was a cruel one for not allowing him to have a family. For longer than he would ever admit to anyone, Peter actually considered these thoughts, weighed his alternatives.
Julie, whose heart had been opened, but who was still so new to Christ that her spiritual weapons had not yet developed, was determined to change Peter’s mind. She believed that the right thing for him to do was to be with her and Kevin. Why he couldn’t do that and also serve the Lord she didn’t understand, or more accurately, she was not willing to understand.
It was the little things she did that made Peter’s pulse race, and Julie knew it. Walking into his bedroom naked with a bottle of wine at midnight was probably not the right approach, she correctly reasoned, but brushing up against him coyly when Peter wasn’t expecting it, touching his hand while they talked, spending as much time together with Peter and Kevin as possible, these were among her most effective tactics. For two weeks at Alex’s estate, she pursued this strategy, relentlessly.
More than once Peter had almost talked himself into the idea that sleeping with Julie was the right thing to do. “We’ve earned it,” he told himself. “She’s my wife in spirit,” he rationalized. “We need the release. It will help us both to heal,” he lied.
But Peter Carson was not new to Christ. He was keenly aware of the dangers of going off course. Every time his resistance to Julie weakened to virtually nothing, his response was to get on his knees and ask for help. When he did so, always he was strengthened, but the war against his flesh was ongoing and would not be won with a single victory.
Peter was considering all of this as Gail’s sedan pulled up to the camp.
As promised, Alex Anderson was there waiting for them. So was his film crew and van load of equipment that Gail had “approved” to be on BOP property, although more than her approval alone was required. When it comes to dealing with the Federal bureaucracy, Gail knew that it was often easier to ask for forgiveness than permission.
Being one of the most recognizable men in America, Alex had drawn considerable attention to himself already in the hour or so he’d been at Parkersboro. Malik had been briefed by Peter on the phone and was providing as much security as was necessary. The only real threat to Alex at the moment was being pestered to death by curious inmates.
“Told you I’d beat you two here,” Alex boasted, as he greeted Peter and Gail in the prison lobby.
“Any problems?” Gail asked.
“None. Malik and your staff have been very accommodating. We’ve already shot about half an hour of B roll. I know where things are, what to do, and when to do it. How are you two?”
“We were just talking about how nice it was to be ‘home,’” Peter answered snidely. “To tell you the truth, Alex, I prefer the estate.”
“Pay him no mind, Mr. Anderson,” Gail said. “He gets snippy when he’s frustrated. You wouldn’t believe the nonsense we have to put up with from him around here at times.”
Before Peter could offer an equally pithy comment in return, his spirit was quickened by the sight of his men. Malik, Saul, Kenny, and Larry had missed their friend and leader terribly, and worried for his safety every minute that he was away. Handshakes and hugs were exchanged all around.
“We’ve got a surprise for you, Peter,” Larry said, obviously pleased with himself.
“And I didn’t bring you guys back a thing,” Peter joked.
Standing off in the corner were two men Peter had never seen before. Neither were dressed in prison khakis and tees, both wore street clothes. As Peter glanced over, they each waved demurely to him.
“Thought we might get the last two in about now, Larry. What, they just got here, is that why they’re not dressed out?” Peter was feeling happier and more confident with each passing second. Being together with his men settled him and reminded him of his love for God, and the importance of his calling.
“No sir. They are not Federal prisoners. These men, well, let them tell you themselves. They’ve come a long way, Peter, and like all of us, they knew who you were, and who we were, by revelation long before they arrived,” Larry explained.
“I thought for sure … ” Peter didn’t finish his sentence.
“You thought what for sure, Panos?” Larry asked.
“I guess I had it in my head that we would all be prisoners. Let that be a lesson for us, Larry. Never presume. Never get ahead of God.”
“We are all prisoners, Panos,” Larry answered. “As long as we walk this world, we’re all prisoners. Besides, if you think they are a couple of innocents, then that will be twice today that you will have been surprised.”
All Peter could do was smile and say, “Thank you Lord.” He was truly “home.” Home is where your brothers are, he told himself. While it was not the life he would have pursued, recognizing it as the one God had chosen for him and freely submitting to His will returned Peter’s joy and peace to him; the kind of joy and peace that no earthly intimacy could bring.
It was a beautiful afternoon. Wonderfully temperate, both the chill of winter and the swelter of the Carolina summer were absent. The leaves had returned to the deciduous trees that surrounded the camp, green was everywhere. The air was fresh and pure. The songbirds were plentiful and making themselves known.
The perfect day and, strange as it would seem to anyone but them, the ideal setting for the completion of the circle, the fulfillment of a promise. Those present all knew what it meant for the seven all to be together in one place and of one accord.
They met on the outdoor library porch, which by now had become their temple, their holy ground. The other inmates, both God fearing and not, moved away on command, allowing them a measure of privacy.