Authors: Lori Leger
“Yes, finally!
And I’m a dumb son of a bitch, Carrie. I’m sorry. I know you must be tired of hearing me say that, and thinking I must be a hell of a slow learner, but if you give me one more chance, I promise you won’t be sorry.”
“Oh, God,” she said, overwhelmed with relief at the sound of his voice. She wiped a tear that trickled from the corner of her eye. “I wanted to call you back, but I washed your card in the pocket of my jeans and I couldn’t read it anymore.”
“The number’s been busy, Carrie. Did you take the phone off the—”
“He called again, Sam. And he talked to me, and the things he said to me...and I don’t know how he got this number...how’d he know I wasn’t at my old house anymore?”
“Jesus, Carr—”
“So I called the police department and they called the sheriff’s department, and just like before, it’s the pre-paid cell and they don’t know who’s calling, but this time...this time he was closer, Sam. He was just ten miles away from me.”
“Oh God.”
“And I
know
he knows where I am...and I’m scared, Sam. There’s a cop parked outside the house but I’m still so scared.”
“God, Carrie, what can
I
—”
“And I washed the card with your number on it, and I tried to get it. I checked the phone directory and called information trying to find your number.”
“I’m not listed—”
“I was afraid you’d think I didn’t want to talk to you, but I did...I really d—”
“Carrie, stop,” Sam cut in. “Are you okay? Tell me you’re okay.”
Something about the sound of his voice made her give in to the rush of emotions that bubbled to the surface. “Yes…No…Oh hell, I don’t know!” Tears flowed hot and heavy, down her cheeks, as she paced back and forth, trying to calm down.
Nothing helped, and before she knew it she was blubbering into the phone like a two year old.
The hammering in Sam’s chest increased as his panic level rose. “Listen to me, Carrie. Everything will be okay.” His voice sounded calmer than he felt. If only he knew whose
sick
ass to kick for this. “Can you hear me?”
“Y
..Y..
es
.”
“I can be there in an hour or less. I could leave this very minute.”
“I
..
I d
..don’t
know, S..Sam.”
Finally, she sputtered, “I’ll b
..be
o..
ok
..
kay
.
M..my
n..
nerves
are j..
just
shot,
th
..
that’s
all.”
He continued to speak in soothing tones. “I want to go to you, Carrie. Tell me how to get there.”
“Oh, God, this is so h
..
hu
..
m
..
miliating
,” she stammered. “And my head is k
..killing
m..
me
.”
“Do you have any aspirin in the house?
Maybe a shot of whiskey?”
“I don’t know, g
..give
me your number and I’ll c..
call
you back in awhile.”
Sam hated to end the connection with her. “Please let me go to you, Carrie.”
“I c
..can’t
let you do that, Sam,” she said.
“I’ll call you. Give me your number.”
He sighed, praying it wasn’t a line. He called out the digits then cleared his throat. “Maybe you should take your phone off the hook until you’re ready to call back.”
“You b
..bet
your a..
ass
, I will,” she told him.
He smiled at her return of spirit. “Promise you’ll call me back?”
“I p
..promise
, Sam.”
“Okay.” He hit the disconnect button and set the phone down on the counter.
Sam hoped...
prayed
she’d call back. God almighty, the more he got to know that lady, the more he wanted to protect her. He paced back and forth in his small living room. A room that until one week ago, held nothing but a sofa, recliner, console television set, and a space heater against one wall. Now it boasted a seven foot tall, fresh cut Christmas tree in the corner by the windows. Every pass of his body sent the smell of pine wafting through the air.
The full tree, sparsely decorated with a handful of wooden ornaments he’d scraped up and colored lights, mirrored the room, both victims of the death of a marriage.
He waited a full forty-five minutes before breaking down to call her back. By then it was nearly nine p.m.
“Hey,” she said, sounding unsure of herself.
“You sound better. Are you okay?”
“I’m embarrassed.”
“You should be. You broke your promise,” he said.
“I’m sorry, Sam. I’m mortified at falling apart like that. I just couldn’t make myself call.”
“Don’t feel that way with me, Carrie.” He stopped pacing as silence filled the air waves. “Are you there?” His shoulders drooped in relief at the sound of her slow, but audible, exhale.
“I’m here. I swear I was fine until I heard your voice.”
“Well, hell, that can’t be good.”
“Actually, it is,” she began, sounding hesitant. “It’s like talking to my mom when I’m upset, but trying to hold it together. If I hear her voice, it’s over with...I fall apart. She makes me feel secure enough to let go.”
Another silent pause filled the airwaves as Sam let her comment sink in. “I’m taking that as a compliment.”
“That’s how I meant it.”
He stood in front of a grouping of various sized framed mirrors, one of the few things Linda had left when she walked out. His smile at her comment reflected back in multiples. “So, can I go to you?”
“Aw Sam...”
“Just say the word, Carrie.”
“Thanks for offering, but I can’t ask you to do that. Tomorrow is a busy day for me,” she said. “I’ve got to help my mom with some baking for Christmas Eve. I’m sure you have some last minute shopping and other things to do.”
“I’m done with my Christmas shopping,” he answered.
“No last minute food preparation?” she asked him.
Sam chuckled.
“Nope.
I only have the one big meal with my family on Sunday, and leftovers for lunch on Christmas Day. I’m a poor bachelor so they don’t ask me to bring anything but my bright, shining, countenance.”
“Oh, brother, you mean because you are so shamelessly spoiled by your mother and sisters,
Baby Sam
.”
Ever since the day she’d heard about his nickname, he’d had to put up with her merciless teasing. “I bet you look good in
envy
green.”
“Bright, shining, countenance, my ass,” she grumbled.
Sam chuckled. “Hey, I figure as long as they don’t ask for my
incontinence
, I’m okay.”
Her laughter rang out, sounding light hearted and sincere. “God, you make me laugh.”
“God makes you laugh, too?” After a moment, he heard her whispered reply.
“How do you do that?”
“Do what?” he asked, wishing he could hold her face in his hands. “Take me from feeling really crappy to laughing so quickly.”
“I’m glad I could help you out.”
Damn this feels right.
They stayed on the phone for another hour, learning things they hadn’t known about each other. As ten o’clock neared, Sam heard Carrie’s failed attempt to suppress a yawn.
“I’d better let you go, lady.”
“Yeah, I’m tired,” she admitted. “But your phone call saved the evening for me.”
He gave one loud ‘ahem’ to brace himself. “Here’s the thing, Carrie. I tell myself to go slow with you, so I don’t scare you off. I mean, hell, I’ve been single a lot longer than you have, and I’m ready to move on with my life. But you may not be ready yet.”
“Mentally or physically,” she added. “I’ve had three kids, two of them a set of twins...big twins. God, I was huge. My body...I’m not...I don’t look like I did the last time I dated.”
He heard the self doubt in her voice and shook his head. “God, Carrie...You think I do? Do you honestly think I don’t have all the same insecurities that you do?”
Carrie heard his question and closed her eyes, remembering how she’d wanted to bury her face in that big barrel chest of his. She could still smell his cologne. He wore Davidoff’s Cool Water, she’d bet her life on it.
Oh God, I haven’t had sex in over a year.
“That long?”
Her eyes flew open at the sound of Sam’s deep voice, containing a hint of amusement. “Please tell me I didn’t say that out loud.”
“Okay...You didn’t just say out loud that you haven’t had sex in over a year.”
She covered her eyes with her free hand, so thankful he couldn’t see her blush. “I have to go now.”
“Carrie, wait.”“Goodbye
Sa
—”
He cut off her words. “Listen to me. All I’m trying to say is that maybe we could allow ourselves the chance to be happy again.”
She bit her lower lip to stop it from trembling as he continued to speak to her in low, soothing tones.
“I care about you, Carrie, and I won’t hurt you the way he did.”
His declaration sounded so heartfelt it brought tears to her eyes. Overwhelmed by her emotions again, she sniffed and wiped at her eyes.
“Are you all right?”
She nodded, forgetting for the moment that he couldn’t see her.
“Carrie?”
She smiled at his concern. “I’m okay
,
It’s
just that, you make me feel special.”
“You are special.”
Several seconds passed before she could speak. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath.
“Thank you.”
“Yes, ma’am, I aim to please.”
“Good night, Sam.”
“Good night, Carrie.”
Sam dropped the phone on the sofa and walked over to the large, sparsely decorated tree. He watched the multi-colored lights twinkle in the semi-darkness of his living room and wondered what Carrie would think of this place. He’d called this simple wood structure home for two decades. He’d always thought it was good enough. But would she?
He gave it a slow walk-through, taking mental notes of things he could change to make it more appealing. New carpets, paint, fancier trims, and built-ins.
Would
it matter to her?