SOMEONE DIFFERENT (21 page)

I nodded.

‘It’s just that, well, we still don’t really know that much ... ya know about what happened an’ why it happened. My mum’s in a right state about it all; she just wants the bastards caught.’

My breath looked like a ring of smoke as I breathed out. ‘I’m sorry, I just can’t remember. I know we were down at the shops, then we started to walk to our house ... but after that it’s proper blank ... right until I woke up in the hospital. Them old people that found us s
aid there were four or five of ’em, but that’s all I can tell ya really.’ I looked at the grey slushy pavement and shrugged. ‘Sorry,’ I said again.

Shaun and his dad glanced at each other, then his dad stared at the end of his fag before he said, ‘An’ is there any chance your memory’ll come back?’

‘They haven’t said.’

‘Well if it does
– if you think of anythin’ – you’ll let us know?’

‘Sure; course I will.’

‘D’ya wanna us to drop you off at your house?’ Shaun asked.

I didn’t really, but I didn’t want to seem ungrateful either. ‘Yeah, that’d be cool; thanks.’

Nobody spoke for the minute or so it took for us to get to our house. I looked out of the window and stuck my hands between my knees to try and keep them warm. But as I opened the backdoor to get out of the car, Billy’s dad turned round. ‘Anythin’ at all, yeah; you’ll come an’ tell us?’

I nodded, then said, ‘Cheers,’ before I shut the door.

God, everything was just way too hard. I mean what if I’d got it wrong? What if I wasn’t doing the right thing? It’d seemed proper easy, you know, you just don’t grass – not ever – simple as. Especially on some psycho drug dealing gang who’d rather kill you than look at you.

But thinking about what that cop had said and what Anna had said and what Billy’s dad had said ...
suddenly it didn’t seem straightforward anymore. And always, always in the back of my mind, there was Billy. Did I owe it to Billy?

I didn’t know. But even the idea of having to leave Anna was too much; I just couldn’t think about it.

Maybe one day my memory would come back, maybe one day I’d tell them; but it wouldn’t be yet.

32 – Anna

Having Jay back at the riding school was awesome. Although usually it wasn’t for very long, we got to see each other almost every day, and thankfully without too much sneaking around. He struggled a little with his injuries at first, and we all knew he shouldn’t really have been there, but Becky was a sweetheart and covered for him, and he made a steady recovery as the weeks went by.

Spring put in an early appearance as
well. By the beginning of March the weather had improved so much, that as I walked down the drive one Sunday morning towards the yard, the green daffodil shoots had opened into miniature golden sunshines, and the branches on the cherry trees were dotted with marshmallow pink blossom. It was still early though, and a heavy, silvery dew sparkled on the lawns.

Grandad was repairing some fencing and I waved at him as I skipped past, then I turned the corner into the yard. Jay was grooming one of the horses. He winked at me and flicked his head towards the tack-room.

I smiled as I said, ‘Hi’ to Becky, who was putting a bridle on another horse behind him, then wandered in there.

‘I’ll go an’ get Sherry’s saddle, shall I?’ Jay said to Becky out in the yard, and the next second he walked through the door, pulled it closed behind him, and we were in each other arms. He tasted of fresh, minty toothpaste, and as his hands circled over my back, then my neck, then my cheek, the feel of it rippled right through me; God, I loved him so much.

A minute later, as we pulled back a little, he said quietly, ‘I’ve got somethin’ for ya.’ He reached into his jacket pocket and brought out a bright blue paper bag.

It rustled as I opened it up, and I peered inside to see a bracelet. It was made out of three, black, shiny sections of thread plaited together, and next to the clasp hung a small silver horseshoe.

‘Awe, Jay; it’s so sweet! Thank you.’

‘D’ya know what it’s made of?’ he said.

‘Err, I’m not sure; nylon?’

‘Tia’s tail.’

‘You’re joking!’ I looked at the bracelet again and giggled. I could see then, exactly where those glossy, black strands had actually come from.

‘It were a right job convincin’ Becky that Tia needed it trimmin’,’ he said, as he fastened it in place. ‘Then I had to sneak it away and take it to be made up for ya.’

I ran my thumb over the smooth strands and smiled. ‘It’s really kind and thoughtful of you. I love ... it.’

He beamed at me. ‘It’s not much, I know that, but I wanted to get you somethin’ outa my first wage. I saved some for credit, and well, my dad took some for board, but I thought you’d like it.’

‘It’s lovely. Thank you.’

We kissed again, until stomping footsteps and a loud cough came from outside. Jay let me go, and whispered, ‘Meet me in the barn, later?’

‘Yes, of course,’ I said, tucking the bracelet inside my coat sleeve. Then I found Tia’s grooming box, Jay picked up Sherry’s saddle, and Becky came in humming, smiling and acting completely normal.

Amazingly, Tia allowed me to brush her without any bloodshed. Her eyes followed Jay around the yard, and she stamped a couple of times when he disappeared out of sight, but she was definitely more settled than she had ever been with me before.

For the first time, I actually felt quite confident about riding her. The bright
, spring sunshine warmed my back, the bracelet snuggled against my wrist, and Tia tolerated me; nothing could possibly go wrong, could it?

Well, OK, that was a stupid question. But I didn’t realise exactly how stupid until at that minute, at that precise minute, Mum, Dad, Rory and his parents strolled on to the yard.

‘Oh, darling, she’s looking stunning,’ Mum said. ‘I told you, Gillian, didn’t I, how pretty she is?’

‘Just like her owner,’ Rory chirped, and as they chuckled and made ‘ahh’ noises, Tia and I tensed up.

Dad reached out to pat Tia’s neck, but changed his mind as her ears flattened back. ‘Err, let’s get her saddle and bridle on then shall we, and see how she performs today.’ He glanced around as Jay came out of one of the other stables. ‘Get her tack will you?’ Dad called across.

Jay looked at us all, then nodded and went into the tack-room.

‘New staff?’ David said.

Dad’s face broke into a smile. ‘Cheap staff,’ he answered. ‘It’s one of those vocational scheme things; Becky’s supposed to offer training, and it takes some supervising of course – but during the week, they actually pay us to have him here.’

‘No?’

‘Really. And even at weekends it’s for nothing virtually. You don’t have to commit to keep
ing them on or anything, and they’re all kids who are failing at school, so there’s always plenty to choose from.’

David nodded, impressed; I turned away.

While Jay was getting Tia ready, I remembered I’d left my things in the office. I opened the door into the empty room, picked up my body protector, and was halfway into it when Rory appeared.

‘Oh, let me help you with that,’ he said, coming to stand close up in front of me.

‘It’s OK, I can manage.’

But he pulled the straps tight around my chest anyway, and as he slowly fastened up the zip, the air in my lungs became more and more restricted. ‘There we go. That should keep you nice and safe.’ He smiled with his hand still resting on the zip, until gradually he moved it up to my neck. ‘So
, have you thought anymore about what I said; you know, about us?’ He didn’t even pause for me to answer. ‘It’s just really, I can’t stop thinking about you. I couldn’t wait to come over today, to ask you something.’

I backed away from his hand. ‘What’s that?’ I said.

‘One of the boys from school – he’s having a birthday bash down in London, and I’d love it if you’d be my guest.’

My fingernails picked at my skin. ‘I’m sorry; I just can’t right now. I don’t have time for anything like that, or ... anyone ...’

‘Don’t say that, please. Tell me you’ll think about it.’

Gillian peered round the door. ‘Oops, sorry to interrupt, but the horse is waiting ... as soon as you two are finished.’

‘We’re finished.’ I picked up my riding hat and followed her out.

Gillian looked down at it as we crossed the yard. ‘Why don’t you let Rory go first, dear? He can calm her down a little, ready for when it’s your turn?’

I hesitated. Although she could be a cow sometimes – Tia that is, not Gillian – she was mine. All at once, I didn’t really want Rory anywhere near her. But on the other hand, the prospect of Tia dumping me in the mud in front of them all made me gip.

Rory came up behind me and put his arm around my shoulder. ‘Don’t worry,’ he whispered. ‘She’ll soften like butter in my hands – she is female, after all.’

Swallowing down the nausea, I nodded at Gillian. ‘OK,’ I replied.

As Rory approached her, Tia’s head shot up like a periscope. Her muscles tightened under her glistening coat, and her hooves danced on the spot.

‘Is there any chance of someone holding her?’ Rory snapped, as she circled around him and he tried unsuccessfully to get on.

Becky tried her best, and after another minute or so, Rory flopped into the saddle.

The horse pranced up and down, backed off, then jumped forward as he kicked her sides and told her to ‘walk on’. Gillian looked at David, suddenly her expression was far less confident.

Becky opened the gate into the ménage then, and after a lot of encouragement from her, Tia walked through it sideways.

But then she stopped. Right in the centre. He kicked her harder and shouted at her louder, but she totally ignored him. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Jay standing behind us. I turned round a little, but he didn’t see me; his eyes were fixed firmly on Tia.

Rory looked across, his face becoming redder. ‘You,’ he said, nodding at Jay. ‘Get me a whip.’

Jay’s startled gaze flitted over us all then finally fell on Becky, and she got the message immediately.

‘I really don’t think that will help,’ Becky said. ‘She’s already very nervous.’

‘Nonsense.’ David laughed. ‘She’s not nervous at all, she’s trying it on.’ He stared at Jay. ‘Now get him that whip will you, like you’ve been asked?’

Jay opened his mouth, but Becky broke in quickly. ‘OK, OK; I suppose we could give it a try. I’ll fetch one.’

She went to get the whip, and Jay and I exchanged glances. What could I do? I knew he was right, I hated all this as much as him, but the last thing either of us needed was a huge scene. ‘I’m sorry,’ I mouthed silently.

Although Becky hid the whip until the last possible second, Tia shied back about six feet as she handed it over to Rory. ‘Right, you little bitch, let’s see what you make of this.’ He jabbed his heels into Tia’s sides, and when she still ignored him, he held the reins tightly in one hand, raised the whip above his head, and brought it crashing down on to her shoulder. A deafening crack echoed all round the valley.

I reached out and grabbed the rail. Jay sprung forward. ‘What ya doin’?’ he yelled.

But Rory really wasn’t in a position to answer. Tia reared up until she was almost vertical, then as she landed, she started to buck and bronk higher and faster than any rodeo horse ever had. She flung him around like an old teddy bear. His arms flapped, his legs swung, and he lost the reins completely. A second later, she dug her front hooves into the woodchip and stopped dead. Rory flew high over her head, hitting first the fence then the floor with a thud.

Gillian sprinted to him.

‘I’m alright, I’m alright,’ he spat out
, as he scrambled to his feet. Gillian picked some woodchips off his sleeve, but he pushed her hand away, then looked over to where Tia stood shaking in a corner. A lather of white sweat covered her coat, and froth dripped from her mouth. Rory picked up the whip and walked towards her.

‘No.’ Jay stared at us all. ‘You’re not gonna let him do that to her again, are ya?’

Dad smirked. ‘How nice, that you’re so concerned; especially after working her for such a short time, and having such little experience.’

I bit my lip. Please, Jay; please don’t have a go. Don’t give them any excuses. But I had no choice but to agree with him. ‘Just look at her though, Dad; she’s terrified. Surely this can’t be doing her any good.’