Someone Like You (21 page)

“I did way too many times. When I was a kid I thought it was funny, but as I got older, it began to scar my psyche.”

“Well, that morning he terrified the hell out of me. You know he took me up to Lompoc. A few hours
in a prison cell put me right on to the straight and narrow.”

She sighed. “Riley didn't like losing his partner in crime.”

“You got it.”

“So you fought?”

“At first he was just mad and kept expecting me to change. One day we had it out and I told him I wasn't interested in getting in trouble. I wanted to graduate from high school and join the Marines. He laughed and I punched him.”

“About that anger-management book Hollis gave you…”

“Yeah, yeah. So I have a temper. I'm doing better. Or I was until Andy Murphy pissed me off.” Mac didn't want to think about that. “Riley and I both walked away bloodied and bruised. That was the end of our friend ship. We graduated. I left town and he married Pam.”

“Which lasted all of five months,” Jill said. “It turned out she wasn't as pregnant as she'd claimed. Then Riley took off to parts unknown.”

“So what happened to him?” he asked.

“I haven't a clue. I didn't ask and he didn't say.”

“How long is he back for?”

She rested her head on his shoulder. “I'm thinking until next spring, but I'm not sure.”

He knew there was more she wasn't telling him. In formation about the will, but he wasn't going to ask. He didn't want Jill violating her ethical code for him.
Not that she would if he asked. She had principles. He liked that.

“I was wrong,” she said in a low voice.

“Can I have that in writing?”

She nudged him with her knee. “I'm serious, Mac. I feel horrible about what happened with Rudy. You were right about everything and I didn't listen. I thought I knew him. I thought because of all the legitimate business dealings we'd had that he wasn't a criminal. But he is and now he's brought gambling to Los Lobos. I never wanted that.”

“I know.” He turned and kissed her forehead.

“Aren't you mad at me?”

“I can be if you'd like.”

She looked at him. “I'm serious.”

“So am I. I'm not mad. You made a mistake. It's nice to know I don't have a corner on that market.”

“He's gone. Bev's with him. I think they're in San Francisco.”

“I knew that. Bev called to let me know she wouldn't be around to look after Em.”

She squeezed her eyes shut. “I thought coming back here would be so simple. I thought I'd hate everything and leave at the first chance I got. But it's not like that. I got another job offer. This one is in San Diego and it's really great.”

A sharp pain cut through his chest. No way in hell did he want to try to figure out what that meant.

“You should take it,” he said.

“Should I? I'm not sure. Something doesn't feel right
and I don't know what. Everything is confusing. I hate this town. Really, really hate it.”

He tucked her hair behind her ear and tried not to notice how great she smelled.

“Who are you trying to convince?” he asked.

“Don't ask me that,” she said.

“Okay. What would you like me to do?”

“Make love with me.”

“My pleasure.”

 

M
AC DIDN'T WASTE
any time, Jill thought happily, as he instantly stood and pulled her to her feet. Before she could think about where or how or even what, he had her in his arms.

His hands were everywhere. Her back, her hips, her arms, her hair. He roamed her body like a blind man paying tribute. At the same time, he pressed his mouth to hers and claimed her with an intimate kiss.

She parted for him instantly, wanting to taste and feel him. When their tongues touched, she felt the heat pour through her. It was like standing under a waterfall of de sire. Every inch of her skin tightened in anticipation. Between her legs, her body softened, dampened and swelled in anticipation. Her breasts began to ache, while her muscles clenched.

He explored her mouth, then broke the kiss to nibble his way along her jaw. Her head dropped back and she felt her breathing quicken. She held on to him, her fingers curling into his shoulders.

“Bed,” he murmured against her neck, his breath
teasing the places he'd already dampened with his kiss.

“What?”

She couldn't think, not when he made her feel so delicious. Tiny shivers rippled through her with each brush of lips, teeth and tongue.

“Upstairs. My bedroom.”

“Oh.”

Of course. They couldn't make love here, not with Emily in the house. They had to go behind closed doors and be quiet and make sure Jill was gone well before dawn. And they would. In a second. As soon as he stopped licking the side of her neck and…

“Go,” he said, straightening and pushing her toward the stairs.

Laughter filled his voice while passion darkened his eyes. The irresistible combination had her scampering toward the second floor. She headed for his bedroom and waited until he'd shut and locked the door behind him before carefully peeling off her T-shirt and dropping it on the ground.

“I like a woman who takes charge,” he said as he re moved his own shirt.

“Do you?”

She hadn't bothered with shoes when she'd come over, so she only had to unfasten her shorts and let them fall to the floor. Then she stood before him in only her bra and panties.

He followed her actions, dropping his jeans. He, too, had been barefoot. Now he stood before her in briefs that did little to disguise his erection.

“All that for me?” she asked as she pressed her hand against his belly before moving lower to stroke him.

“There's more,” he said, nudging her toward the bed. “Come on. I'll show you.”

He waited until she stopped next to the mattress be fore reaching behind her to unfasten her bra. After pushing away her hand while muttering “Later, I promise,” he drew her onto the bed and knelt beside her.

“So beautiful,” he said in a voice that was thick with need.

His words made her shiver, the intensity of his stare made her want. She shimmied out of her panties and tossed them onto the floor.

“My kind of girl,” he said with a smile before lowering his head toward her breast.

The first brush of his lips on her tight nipple had her arching toward him. When his tongue teased the sensitive flesh, she actually whimpered.

“It feels so good,” she whispered.

“I'm glad.”

He cupped her other breast and matched the movement of fingers to his tongue. Heat exploded low in her belly and radiated to the very tips of her fingers and toes. Her legs moved restlessly as she tossed her head from side to side.

He moved slowly, then faster. He nipped, he licked, he sucked, and he whispered how much he wanted her. The contact, the words, and when she opened her eyes, the visual of what he was doing sent her perilously close to the edge. So much so that when he left her breasts and began to kiss his way down her belly, she wasn't sure she was going to hold off long enough to actually let him get there.

But somehow she managed to keep control so that
when he parted her legs and knelt between her knees, she could draw in a deep breath in anticipation of his soul-stirring kiss.

His fingers gently parted her slick flesh, then he un erringly found that one central point of pleasure and swirled his tongue around it.

Jill covered her mouth with her hand to hold in the scream of pure pleasure. It was better than she'd imagined, better than she'd ever felt. The heat, the speed, the movement, the
something.
Her toes curled, the soles of her feet burned, her back arched, her body shook.

He kissed and licked and teased and soothed until she couldn't stand it another second. She was already too close and when he took her to the edge, she hung on as long as she could before giving in to her explosive re lease. The orgasm ripped through her like a tidal wave of pleasure, tossing her back and forth, filling her with ecstasy before slowly seeping away and leaving her boneless.

“Earth to Jill,” Mac said as he settled in beside her.

She blinked, not exactly sure when she'd closed her eyes in the whole thing. Not that it mattered. She stretched and turned toward him.

“You're really good at that.”

He grinned. “Thanks.”

“No, seriously. You could teach a class or something.” She had a vision of an entire classroom of men eager to learn technique. “Hmm, you'd need some volunteers for them to practice on. I bet I could find a few.”

He tunneled his fingers in her hair. “Not a good idea.”

“The class or the volunteers?”

“Both.”

He leaned in and kissed her. She moved against him and felt his erection pulse.

“I think I like this,” she murmured as she slid her leg between his. “A lot. But one of us is still seriously over dressed.”

“I can take care of that.”

He rolled away and tugged off his briefs. She took advantage of the moment and collected a condom from the nightstand. Seconds later she was on her back, he was between her thighs and they were both starting to breathe fast.

“Ready?” he asked after he'd pulled on the protection.

As he spoke he slipped a finger deep inside of her. Instantly she clamped her muscles around him and felt the first thrill ripple through her.

“More than ready.”

He eased himself inside of her.

Jill reached for his hips and pulled him in deeper. “Don't hold back.”

His blue eyes dilated. “Are you sure? I don't want to hurt you.”

“I'm too wet and swollen for that. Just do it hard.”

He groaned with the pleasure of a man just given a free pass. Then he braced his hands on the mattress and thrust in all the way. The sharp, erotic movement made
her insides quiver with delight. She wrapped her legs around his hips and gave herself up to the feelings.

“Just like that,” she breathed when he did it again and again.

Harder. Faster. Slick. Hot. It was the perfect mating between a man and a woman. When she felt herself once again falling into paradise, she opened her eyes and found him staring at her. They climaxed together, watching each other. Bodies stiffened, muscles tightened and, at that moment, she understood exactly what all the fuss was about.

L
ATER, WHEN SANITY RETURNED
and Jill found she could breathe normally, she curled up next to Mac and pulled the covers over them.

“I can't fall asleep,” she said quietly.

“I know, but I don't want you to go yet.”

His words warmed her from the inside out. “I don't want to go, either.”

She wanted to stay right here, to be with him, around him, making love, touching, talking. Being.

He rubbed her bare back, then played with her hair. She sensed he was with her, but also miles, or maybe years, away.

“What are you thinking?” she asked.

“Just looking over my life.”

“That's a pretty serious topic. Listing highlights?”

“No.”

“Because of Emily?”

“Yeah. I don't want to lose her.”

She wished she could tell him he wouldn't, but she wasn't sure. She didn't know the details of his arrangement with the court, nor did she know what had happened in his past.

She pushed herself up on one elbow. “Tell me what happened, Mac. Why did Carly leave you?”

He stared at the ceiling. “It's a long story.”

“I don't have a whole lot of plans for the rest of the night.”

He was silent for a long time. Not sure if she should prompt him or let it go, she said nothing. Eventually Mac began to speak.

“I met her while I was still in the Marines. We had a couple of long weekends together. Good times, but nothing special. Then she turned up pregnant and I wanted to do the right thing, so I left the service and be came a cop. I thought it would be more stable, and the pay was a hell of a lot better.”

Jill did her best not to react, while inside small explosions of fireworks shot up in celebration. He hadn't loved Carly. She didn't want to think
why
the information was important, but it was and she accepted that.

“So you moved to Los Angeles,” she said.

“Right. I'd been an MP, so it was an easy transition. I liked my job, the people I worked with. Carly and I had to adjust, but then Em came along and I knew, what ever else happened, she'd made everything worth it.”

He exhaled slowly. “I loved her from the second I held her. She's my best girl and the best I'll ever be.”

Jill's heart sighed at the words. “I think she's pretty terrific, too.”

“Thanks. So there we were. One happy family. Carly and I had our problems, but we were good friends and that helped. Then I went to work in South Central L.A., in the gang division.” He turned and looked at her. “I was excited because I thought I could make a difference. I was wrong. Those kids live a life the rest of us
can't begin to imagine. Violence is what they know and understand. I got weighed down and I started to drink to escape.”

Jill hadn't expected that and she didn't know what to say. Mac didn't wait for her to comment.

“I got more distant at home and Carly didn't like that. We started fighting. I knew I had a temper, but I was determined not to show it to her, so I buried it and drank more.” He returned his attention to the ceiling. “One day my partner and I were on routine patrol. We saw some kids jump an old lady and take her purse. We headed out after them, rounded a corner to an alley and ran head first into an ambush.”

Jill tensed even as she began running her hands up and down his torso. “Are you okay? Were you shot?”

He glanced at her. “Twice.” He patted his chest. “Right here. I had on a vest. So did Mark. The difference is, they shot him in the head.”

She gasped. “Oh my God.”

“They said he was dead before he hit the ground. I couldn't think, couldn't breathe, couldn't do anything but react. I was past rage, to whatever the hell place that is. I came out shooting and got every one of them. There were four of them.” He closed his eyes. “Not one of them was older than sixteen.”

She shifted so she could stare into his face, and shook him until he looked at her. “They tried to kill you, Mac, and they murdered your partner. What were you sup posed to do? Let them go?”

“That's what everybody said. Even the department psychologist. But here's the thing. There's a difference
between killing someone because you're trying to save your own skin and putting a bullet in them because you're so furious you can't see straight. I acted out of anger, not fear. I wanted them dead. And I killed them.”

Did he really blame himself? “All strong emotions are closely linked. Passion, rage, fear. They slide into each other. Would it have been better to let them get away?”

“They were children.”

“They were murderers.”

“You didn't have to watch them die.”

She nodded slowly. “You're right. I didn't. So what happened? Did you get in trouble?”

“No. The kids all had serious records, all involving murder.”

“So you didn't accidentally shoot someone innocent.”

“I'm not saying they were decent, I'm saying I didn't want to have been the one to pull the trigger, and sure as hell not because I was angry.” He rubbed his temples. “I started drinking more. Eventually I quit the force and locked myself in the bedroom. Carly left and took Emily. God, I missed my little girl so much, but I couldn't get myself to do anything. I knew if I stopped drinking, I'd have to remember, and there was no way I could survive that.”

She settled back down on the mattress and rested her head on his shoulder. “So you let her go because it was too painful to focus enough to find her.”

“Something like that. Nearly as unforgivable a sin.”

“Is that it?” she asked. “You can't forgive yourself for what you did?”

“I'm supposed to be one of the good guys.”

“I think you are.”

“You're biased.”

“In some ways, but not about this. If you hadn't shot those kids, who's to say they wouldn't have turned around and put a bullet in your head?”

He gave her a weary smile. “People with a lot more training than you have tried to convince me I did the right thing.”

“Let me guess. It's not working.”

“No.”

Men could be so stubborn. She understood he had a lot to work through, but if he didn't stop punishing him self, those kids might as well have killed him.

“So how did you get here?”

He smiled. “One day someone pounded on my front door and no matter how I yelled he wouldn't go away.”

Jill wrinkled her nose. “My father?”

“Uh-huh. I don't know how he found out what had happened. He said something about keeping track of me. I was too drunk to remember much. He stuck me in a cold shower until I sobered up, then he ripped me a new one. Told me I didn't have the right to waste a life he'd helped save. Then he offered me the job here and a chance to get Emily back.”

His mouth twisted. “Sleeping with his only daughter is a hell of a way to pay him back.”

She leaned close so she could whisper in his ear. “I've been married. I don't think my dad believes I'm still a virgin.”

“I sure as hell hope not.”

She grinned. “Trust me. You're fine. Besides, he's clear on the other side of the country. He won't find out.”

“Want to bet?”

She thought about all the people her father kept in touch with. “No. Not really.”

He wrapped his arms around her and held her tight. “I'm going to lose her.”

Emily. She squeezed him. “No, you're not. I won't let it happen. I'm going to find you the best lawyer I can.”

“Why bother? I earned this.”

She pushed into a sitting position and stared at him. “Dammit, Mac, you're not going to take this lying down. Do you hear me? Didn't you just do fifteen minutes on how much you love your daughter? How dare you not fight for her?”

He narrowed his gaze. “Jill, I broke the rules. I lost my temper and punched someone.”

“So? There are extenuating circumstances. You made a mistake, but you can't just give up. You have to fight. She's worth it, isn't she?”

“She's everything.”

There was something in the way he said the words. Something in his eyes, as if he'd been haunted by a spe
cific reality all his life. And then she got it—Mac's universal truth. In his mind the person who wasn't worth it was him.

“No,” she breathed as she collapsed against him and held him. “Can't you see how amazing you are? Everyone has flaws, but not everyone is capable of being honorable and owning up to them.”

“You don't know what you're talking about.”

“Don't I? If you won't do it for yourself, then do it for her. Don't let Emily lose her father a second time.”

He didn't speak for several seconds, then he nodded slowly. “You're right. I promised her I wouldn't go away again and I have to make sure I keep that promise. Even if it means crawling to that prick Hollis.”

“The crawling is an entertaining visual, but personally I'd go the lawyer route.”

“I'll leave that to you. You're the resident expert.”

She kissed him and smiled. “You got that right.”

 

“I
CAN'T BELIEVE
he's here,” Jill said, sounding both surprised and furious as they entered the room for the last pier committee meeting before the celebration the following week. “I want his head on a stick.”

Mac looked where she pointed and saw Rudy talking to the mayor.

“Hey, I'm the one with the temper,” he reminded her. “You're supposed to be the cool, collected lawyer.”

“Not today. I'm still pretty steamed over him playing me for a fool all those years.” She shrugged. “Okay, I suppose technically I knew what he was, but I never really believed it. Sort of like making friends with a
guard dog and then being surprised to find out it has teeth.”

“Big teeth and deep pockets,” Mac said, watching the mayor laugh at something Rudy said.

Jill clutched his hand. “Are you okay?”

As there were a number of things on his plate right now—the charges, an upcoming meeting with Hollis, a potential run-in with Rudy and the mayor, he wasn't sure what she meant. Not that it mattered. He'd managed to confess his deepest, darkest secret and she hadn't turned away from him. Instead, she'd offered support and had believed in him. He couldn't remember the last time that had happened…if ever.

“I'm fine.”

“No punching,” she said, her expression earnest.

He grinned. “Not even Hollis.”

“He's earned it, but you really shouldn't.”

“I promise, I won't.” Hollis. He started to laugh.

“What?” she demanded.

“Hollis and his ideas that all cops make lousy fathers. Ironic that he's wrong about everyone else, but right about me. I do have an anger-management issue and I haven't always been there for Em. I've been so busy hating him, I never bothered to listen to what he had to say.” His humor faded. “Too bad I won't be able to tell him. I have a feeling that today's meeting isn't going to be fun.”

“I'm more than willing to come with you.”

He loved her for offering. “Thanks, but I don't think showing up with a lawyer is going to help my case.”

He could offer explanations, but the truth was, he
couldn't talk away what he'd done. He was going to have to find a way to pay the price without losing Emily.

Franklin Yardley moved to the front of the room and called the meeting to order. Mac and Jill found seats in the back.

“I have wonderful news,” the mayor said excitedly. “We have received a large donation that will completely cover the refurbishment of the pier.”

Everyone else in the room applauded. Beside him, Jill groaned. “Didn't Rudy already write a big fat check? What is he buying this time? The right to bring in prostitution? I swear I want that man's head on a stick. A re ally big one.”

Mac took her hand in his and squeezed. “Deep cleansing breaths.”

“Do they help?”

“Not with the temper, but eventually you start to hyperventilate and then you have something else to think about.”

She grinned.

The mayor waited until the room had quieted to continue. “I propose that in addition to celebrating the pier centennial next week, we make Rudy Casaccio an honorary citizen of Los Lobos and give him the key to the city.”

Several people yelled out their agreement. Jill sank down in her seat. “Great. Now we're going to be the
Sopranos—West
.”

 

T
HE MEETING SEEMED
to go on for days, but it was only about thirty minutes until it ended. While Mac
headed out for his meeting with Hollis, Jill worked her way through the crowd until she stood next to Rudy. She took hold of his arm and dragged him toward a side door.

“Hey, Jill,” he said cheerfully. “Where are you taking me? Not that I'm not flattered, but Bev and I…”

She turned to glare at him. “Don't you dare make jokes with me.” She saw Mr. Smith trailing after them. “You stay out here.”

“No can do,” he said, and she realized they were the first words she'd heard him speak.

She eyed the bulge under his jacket and knew it had nothing to do with him being happy to see her and everything to do with an illegal gun.

“Fine, then keep back because I want some room when I yell at your boss.”

She hated that Mr. Smith glanced at Rudy for confirmation before easing back a few feet when they entered the dimly lit utility corridor behind the meeting rooms.

Rudy, well dressed as ever in chic resort wear, gave her a big smile. “So what's the problem, Jill? How can I help? Is it Lyle?”

She stared at him. “Help? You think I need a favor? You couldn't be more wrong.” She really wanted to punch him or something, but several things held her back. First, the thought that Rudy might hit back and that could hurt. Second, it wasn't her style. Third, and most important, Mr. Smith and his ever-present weapon.