Someone to Love (9 page)

“And you let them laugh, they're just jealous because they would like one too. You know what, Lukas? I am a veterinarian and I take care of animals. And if you feel like it, I'll let you meet some of my furry friends very soon. What do you think?”

The child wriggled closer. “Wow! Mum, as soon as I leave here I want to go to Mia's to see the animals.” Gemma nodded, returning a faint smile.

“You can come whenever you want,” I assured him. “I would like it if you became my own little volunteer. I really need one. There are many dogs and cats in search of cuddles because they have no owner, and I am sure they will like you a lot. But before then, we can organize activities right here in the hospital. Do you think you could give me a hand?”

I looked at his tired green eyes lighting up with interest. Anyone would have understood at first sight how much he loved animals.

Lukas wriggled on the mattress and clapped his hands. “Today is a beautiful day!”

The Director looked at him trying to calm him down. “You can't, little one, unfortunately certain things are prohibited inside the hospital. Drink some tea. The nurse also left you two biscuits on the napkin…”

I tried to take my time and whispered something in Lukas's ear. I stepped back a little to observe his reaction.

He froze for a second and then jumped into my arms. I buried my face close to his neck and breathed the scent of innocence, that unmistakable fragrance of goodness and delicacy. I knew Gemma and the Director were staring at me, but I didn't care. That moment was magical and only ours.

“I don't know about you, but I have a desperate need for a coffee,” said the Director, leaning against the wall. “May I offer you ladies one?”

Gemma touched Lukas's neck with her lips. A gentle and motherly touch. “Mama will be right back. Meanwhile, you have a snack, afterwards we'll go for a walk in the garden, Martina is waiting for us.”

Lukas smiled and grasped the small tea cup.

Gemma was a very attractive woman, with heart-shaped lips and eyes surrounded by dark lashes. From a distance I thought her eyes were brown, but close up they were emerald green. Her long black hair flowed over her shoulders. One could tell right away that she didn't take much care of herself, but she still didn't pass unnoticed thanks to her sleek, curvy physique.

The Director led the way to a day room where you could sit and have a drink and a break. It was a small room but I was struck by some of the details: there were three small brightly coloured plastic tables, suitable for children, and as many chairs. There were pens and pencils scattered everywhere, clean white sheets of paper and others with drawings on them. Painted walls told the story of every child who had been there and their hopes and dreams. The Director began searching in his pockets for some change and Gemma approached me, blocking his view. She wanted to speak to me in private, without being heard.

“Sorry if I looked at you strangely. When you entered the room, I almost burst into tears. You look very much like a very dear person…” she confided.

“Oh, don't worry. I hadn't noticed…” I said, although I had.

“It's been so long now,” she said sadly. “I would do anything to have her back, but I can't. I learned to live with her absence and to be strong. At first I was very angry, but when I heard about Lukas's disease, I couldn't take it any longer.” Her eyes were shiny.

Gemma's sudden dip into the past hit me. There was something in her pauses, in her grief, which gave me the feeling that she wasn't telling the whole truth. I found myself wondering what kind of life she had before her son's illness, and how that event had shaped the person before me.

“I'm really sorry. If you need to vent, please do.”

The Director put a coin in the machine and waited for the first coffee.

Gemma wiped away her tears. “Thank you. What you're going to do for Lukas and for the other children already means a lot. My son is in love with animals, he would like to open a zoo when he grows up…”

“A zoo! That is a singular desire! I could talk to him about my work; basically becoming a vet could be a good compromise,” I said with a wink.

The Director invited us to take a seat, putting our coffee on the table. “As I mentioned, the activities can start next Monday. I think it's better to avoid visiting hours. We can start with two appointments a week. I'm confident because different studies show that improvements are made. Not from a clinical point of view obviously, but in terms of quality of life.”

“And that's what we want to achieve,” I replied kindly. “Pointless to think that my dogs will save their lives, but they certainly will make them smile. Let's face it, my dogs are great clowns and it's impossible to resist them.”

“Tell me about it, animals are a big commitment but give irreplaceable company. I have two boxers at home and I can't tell you the joy they give me. The youngest likes to jump on my son's trampoline and every time he gets angry because both of them can't fit on it together.”

I laughed, amused. “Oh, I remember a similar video on YouTube. But in that case it was an English bulldog doing somersaults, with all that flab wobbling.”

“They're very nice. Maybe sometimes you'll find me taking part in the activities, to distract myself a bit.”

“You're welcome,” I said enthusiastically. “If you don't mind, I'm going to get something from the car, I'll wait for you in the garden.”

“Take your time, meanwhile, I'm going to see if our nurse has brought Giulio.”

“See you later.”

I walked along a grey pebble path lined by flowers growing in rows; the evergreen hedge that bordered the perimeter had just been pruned. There were several dark wood and wrought iron benches at a regular distance from each other.

The sound of crying attracted my attention. I turned and saw a young woman entertaining a little girl with a very pale complexion. She was wearing pyjamas with a flower pattern and had a fairy tale book on her lap. The little girl was screaming and kicking her mother's legs, while she was trying to calm her down. She kissed her on the forehead, begging her not to cry.

I counted the steps that separated us. Nineteen. My feet were moving as if I wasn't able to control them. A gust of wind seemed to push me forward.

The sound of my footsteps on the pebbles drew their attention. The little girl looked at me, her mouth half open and her eyes bright.

“Are you angry?” I asked, leaning forward. I couldn't remember where I read it, I just knew it was important to lower oneself to the height of the child to be able to communicate with them.

Her eyes were green and slightly sunken, her cheeks bright red, and small freckles were scattered all over her nose.

“Answer the lady,”said the young mother.

The child continued to stare silently at me. “What's her name?” I asked the woman.

“Martina. Excuse her, but initially she's a bit shy. As soon as she becomes more familiar you can't get rid of her.”

I put the box on the bench. “Do you want to see something, Martina?” I asked. “But you have to promise me that you'll stop crying.”

Martina nodded insistently and came beside me, resting her hand on my knee. I opened the lid slightly and a small hamster raised its nose, sniffing the air.

“Mummy, look! How small it is!” cried the little girl, excited now.

“You can pet him if you want. He doesn't bite…” I invited her.

Martina stretched out her little hand towards the hamster and touched him. He puffed out his coat and rushed to the bottom of the box to hide.

“He's scared,” I said, looking at her. “We must have patience because he doesn't know you.”

Martina smiled. “Is he afraid?”

“Everyone is afraid, but there are little tricks to get over it and one of them is dealing with something that makes you happy.”

Martina watched me curiously. “Like when Mummy makes me chocolate cake?”

The woman hugged her. “Yes, my love. When I make your favourite cake I feel very happy. Because then you eat it all and I'm sure you like it.”

Martina clapped. “And are you here because your child is sick?” she asked.

“No, darling. I don't have any children of my own, but I came to visit one. And I think he's your friend…” I said. The little girl pointed at the people behind me and ran off, returning almost immediately, hand in hand with Lukas. “Is everything okay?” asked the Director as he approached.

“Yeah, I just met the famous Martina,” I answered politely.

“Now I realize who you are. Martina was looking forward to meeting you,” said the woman, shaking my hand.

I realized she was very curious about me, now she knew who I was.

Lukas walked over to the box and peered inside.

“Mum, it's like Blueberry! Look at it, Mum! Now!” he cried excitedly.

Gemma sat at his side, her face a few centimetres from his. “You're right. It's the spitting image of Blueberry.”

“Who would Blueberry be?”

Lukas said elated. “He's my hamster. He lives at home with Mummy waiting for me to come back. I miss him very much, but I know that he's waiting for me. He loves me very much.”

“Of course he's waiting,” said Gemma, nuzzling Lukas.

The Director spoke. “Mia has become the main topic of conversation in the department. I wanted to introduce her to Giulio too, but his mother isn't on duty today. Maybe next time.”

“What a pity. But if I understood right, I can start on Monday?” I asked.

The Director nodded. “If that's all right…”

A pager rang, interrupting the moment. The Director took it from his pocket and silenced it. “I have to go. Mia, if you have no more questions, I'll see you on Monday and let's hope for good weather. It wouldn't hurt to start the activities outdoors. In any case, you'll know better than me what to do,” he concluded, shaking my hand.

“I'll say goodbye for now, but I promise you I'll be here on Monday,” I said, with a broad smile.

“Are you bringing the hamster again? I want to show Dad and Granddad”, asked Martina, her voice quivering and full of excitement.

I whispered in her ear. “I promise you something much better.”

She chuckled, putting a hand over her mouth.

“Thank you, you don't know how happy it makes Martina to talk to someone and enjoy herself without thinking about her illness,” said the woman, taking her daughter in her arms.

I realized she was sincere from the tone of her voice. “It's a pleasure.”

Lukas and Martina said goodbye enthusiastically. Gemma, on the other hand, watched me leave as if she was expecting something from me, a gesture or an extra word. At that moment, I hated her coldness and wondered if she really was the same woman that showed so much affection for her son.

I tried to appear relaxed and walked away, accompanied by a strange feeling.

I went down to the kitchen and began to prepare dinner. I cut onions and tomatoes, while warming the olive oil over a low heat. The rhythmic beat of the knife on the cutting board relaxed me. I rinsed some basil leaves under running water, which I would use to flavour the sauce.

It was nearly eight o'clock when the doorbell rang. I stirred everything one last time and rocketed out of the kitchen to answer it. The bell rang again.

“Coming, coming!”

I was stunned: standing on the porch was Diego clutching a bunch of flowers to his chest. Some were still in bud.

“Am I disturbing you?”

I immediately felt nervous. “Yes, but you already know that.”

Diego looked at me without showing amusement. “What a warm welcome.”

I was still very upset about what had happened at the clinic, but I wanted to give him the chance to apologize. “Mia, you'll learn that life is a continuous source of surprises. Don't close your heart, always listen to others and give them second chances,” my grandmother used to say when I came home upset by yet another disappointment. “Sometimes eyes lie and just see what you want them to see.”

“I hadn't planned to drop in tonight, but then I thought I'd surprise you. These are for you,” he said, handing me the bouquet.

I smiled, and nodded to invite him in. “So, truce then.”

I buried my face in the roses and breathed in the scent. Bubu, jumping around, reached Diego and dropped something from his mouth. Diego grabbed the ball and threw it in the direction of the stairs. Bubu ran after it to continue the game.

“Anyway, thank you, you shouldn't have,” I said, trying to find a fairly large vase to put that beautiful bunch of flowers in. “Welcome to my lair.”

Diego set foot in the kitchen and looked around.

“Are you expecting someone for dinner?” he inquired, noticing the pot on the stove.

“No, nobody. If you haven't eaten, I'll add another place.” I invited him to share my meal without thinking; obviously whatever connected my brain to my mouth was out of order at the time.

He looked at me and nodded as he settled in the armchair and Bubu rested his muzzle on his legs. My dog was a pimp.

“It smells delicious, what have you prepared for me?” he sighed. “Let me guess, parmigiana?”

I shook my head. “No.”

“Lasagna?”

“Nearly.”

“Stuffed homemade cannelloni.”

“Yeah right, and who has all afternoon free to do that?” I asked, amused.

“Women aren't what they used to be,” said Diego.

“I think you're wrong. Women today are more entrepreneurial and determined. Only many have lost the talent in the kitchen of previous generations and they can't replicate their mothers' recipes. Everything I know, I owe to my grandmother, the Queen of the kitchen,” I confirmed, blushing slightly.

“Does she still teach you a few tricks of hers?”