Someone to Trust (7 page)

As was customary, Pastor Dan asked the congregation to greet one another before they returned to their seats. “This morning, let’s all take a moment to say hello to those around you. Let them know you’re glad they are here.”

Megan turned to her right first, but as she was sitting at the end of the aisle, there really wasn’t far to go. She did say hello to the woman in front of her as she turned back to her left. Lee had just shaken hands with the gentleman on his left and turned toward Megan.

“It’s good to see you here, Megan.” He offered her his hand. She placed her hand in his and a tingle ran up her arm.

Static electricity. He must drag his feet when he walks!
She didn’t really believe this explanation but it was certainly better than the alternative. S
he found him attractive. Very attractive indeed!

“Thank you. It’s nice to smell you as well.” At the look of confusion and then humor on his face, she realized what she’d just said.

“See you…I mean see you as well,” she managed to croak. “It’s nice to see you.”

Lee lifted his brows and then gave her a wink. As they were seated, she wondered if the pew would open up and swallow her if she prayed hard enough.

Pastor Dan again approached the podium. “Can you all turn with me to the Book of Jeremiah, Chapter 29, and Verses 11 through 13? If you don’t happen to have a Bible of your own, there are guest Bibles in the pews.”

Megan opened the Bible Cindy had given her in college. With some difficulty, she located the passages while Lee seemed to find it with ease. Apparently, he was more familiar with his Bible than she was with hers.

The pastor read the scripture aloud. “‘
For I know the plans I have for you,’
declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart
.’”

Megan nearly gasped. Cindy had said something very similar at lunch only a few days ago. Twenty minutes later, Megan realized she had forgotten about the handsome gentleman sitting next to her. She hadn’t been distracted by the clean fragrance emanating from him, or her stupid comment about it. She had been so focused on Pastor Dan and the message he was sharing she had lost the ability to worry about anything else. Her complete attention had been in the words spoken and what she was sure had been meant just for her.

The shepherd smiled lovingly at his flock. “I want to remind someone here today, perhaps more than one someone, of the love of our Heavenly Father. A father who loves you so much He sacrificed His only son on your behalf. You do not have to walk aimlessly through this world. God has a purpose for you, and if you will trust Him, He will fulfill that purpose in and through you.”

The young minister began to candidly share the emptiness he’d experienced in his life before turning to God for answers. He stepped down from the pulpit, onto the floor closer to his flock as he told his story.

“My search for acceptance and meaning began when I was a child. As a little boy, I never felt accepted by my mother. No matter what I did to gain her approval, it wasn’t good enough and she was very emotionally and verbally abusive to me. Physical abuse came close a few times but I think she knew to draw the line there though because my father would not tolerate it. I never spoke with anyone about it and this added to the isolation I was feeling.”

He paused for a moment, his brows drawn together pensively as he went on, “When I was fourteen years old, I discovered the reason. When I was only eighteen months old, my biological mother left my father and me. The woman I knew to be my mother wasn’t. Finally, I understood why I felt out of place and as if I didn’t belong when I was with her and her family.”

Megan could relate to the perception he once held, of never belonging anywhere and of not truly fitting in. Unlike what he was relating, though, she still could not comprehend how God could help those feelings.

“Unfortunately my search for acceptance continued on through high school and into college, where I tried to dull the ache of emptiness with parties and alcohol. And…” Pastor Dan paused as if he were embarrassed about what he was going to say next, “…in relationships with girls.”

He immediately turned to Penny who was sitting in the front row. “Now I only have eyes for you, honey.” This brought a round of laughter from the congregation. He smiled and as the laughter subsided, he returned to the podium and a serious note.

“In spite of all these things, I remained empty and wounded. In fact, they only added to my wounds. It wasn’t until I turned my life over to God and walked the path He chose for me, that my emptiness was assuaged and my wounds healed.” His voice was filled with sincerity and his eyes misted with tears. Megan’s eyes misted as well.

“Perhaps,” Pastor Dan continued, “you are very much like I was, and you have suffered a great deal of emotional pain in your life which has left you angry and bitter. Or maybe your pain comes from past mistakes you have made or from others who have failed you.”
Was he looking directly at her as he said that? Did he know? How could he? She had not spoken of it with anyone.

His simple message was striking a chord within her. “God will never fail you. He will forgive you. Not only that, He will help you to forgive yourself and those who have hurt you.”

As the pianist began to softly play the benediction music, Megan bowed her head as everyone else did.

“I want you to take the Jeremiah scripture home with you and think about it. If you have any questions, try doing what the last portion of that verse says. Call upon God and pray to Him; He will listen to you. Seek Him with your whole heart, and you will find Him.”

Megan’s heart was stirred. It seemed her doubt about there being a God vanished, but there was still some hesitation as to why God would love her. And,
if He truly loved her
, why had her childhood been like it was? Could there be a purpose for her childhood and the mess she’d made in her adult life? Was there a purpose, as Cindy proclaimed, to her being in Laurel Ridge? Would this search for meaning ever end?

Yes.
A still small voice whispered to her aching heart.
I have the answers you are searching for.

Megan looked quickly at Lee to see if he had spoken, but his head remained bowed. She shook her head.
No, the voice had come from within.
She shook her head again, but she was unable to shake the tingling sensation she was feeling. This time it had nothing to do with Lee.

At the close of the service, people filled the aisles to leave. Many of the children raced outside to play chase in the valley, while their parents mingled and socialized in small circles.

Somewhere in the process of it all, Lee slipped out, unnoticed by Megan. She couldn’t fathom how a man his size could move that quickly and unobtrusively. Nevertheless, she fully intended on locating him before he left.
She must talk to him
.

Megan made her way down the aisle, quickly saying her farewells as she passed a few of the people she had come to know and headed to the front steps of the church. Pastor Dan was shaking hands with the flock as they departed. Momentarily not caring what he thought, Megan blurted, “Did Lee Grainger pass this way?”

After a quick recovery from his surprise, Dan pointed down the hill toward the gravel parking lot. “He’s headed toward his truck.”

“Thanks,” Megan gushed and dashed away.

“Nice to have you here, Megan,” the minister called behind her with a laugh. Megan decided she might need to explain her actions later, lest he think she was interested in Lee on a personal level.

Megan caught up with Lee, just as he was about to get into his truck. She was out of breath from the speed in which she was attempting to walk down the steep hill and through the gravel lot to where he was parked.

“Lee,” she called, getting his attention. He paused and turned toward her. Just as Megan reached the bottom of the hill, she stepped on some loose pebbles. Given that she was wearing heels which were not at all conducive to this terrain, she felt her ankle twist, causing her to lose her balance. She landed face first in the dirt at Lee’s feet. Once there, she just lay, motionless.

“Megan!” Lee called, with concern kneeling over her. “Megan?”

Still, she lay there. Silently.

Oh, God, please let the ground open and swallow me up.
She moaned.
If You care about me the way people say You do, You’ll just allow the ground to swallow me.

She knew it was a ridiculous prayer, but it made such perfect sense at this moment in time.

There wasn’t the slightest rumble, or the tiniest groan, issued forth from the earth. There was no movement at all. Except that of gentle hands rolling her over onto her back. She kept her eyes tightly closed.

Much to her dismay, two huge tears escaped the confines of her tightly closed lids and rolled down her cheeks.
Great to add insult to injury, I can’t even stop crying
.

“Megan, are you hurt?” Lee asked anxiously. “Megan, look at me. Are you hurt?”

She opened her eyes, trying to see him through the cloudiness of tears. “No, I’m not hurt.” She pushed herself up into a sitting position.

“I’m not hurt,” she repeated.

“You’re crying,” he stated the obvious, as he checked her legs for broken bones.

“That’s true,” Megan admitted. “I’m sorry about that. Could you please just help me up, before someone sees me lying here and my humiliation is complete?”

Lee nodded, stretching out his hands for her to grab as he pulled her to her feet. She winced the moment weight was put on her ankle.

“You are hurt.” This time it was a statement.

“Not really, only my pride is broken. I think I may have twisted my ankle, but it’ll work itself out in a bit. Really, I’ll be fine,” she assured him, wiping the tears from her cheeks and straightening her clothes.

“I feel like such a fool,” she muttered more to herself than to him.

Lee stood gazing down at Megan’s tear streaked face. Even disheveled, she was more than lovely. A couple strands of chestnut hair had escaped the clasp and were framing her perfect, oval face. Her warm amber eyes glistened from fresh tears, some of which clung wetly to her long lashes like a couple of diamonds. Her creamy skin reminded him of a porcelain doll. As Lee examined her face more closely for scratches, he thought he saw a smattering of freckles across the bridge of her nose, which he found adorable. His eyes were drawn to her mouth where she was chewing nervously on her lower lip. Lips that were—

“Lee?” Her husky voice brought him to attention.

“Yeah?”

“I followed you out here because there is something I need to say to you.” She had his
complete
attention.

“Okay, I’m listening.”

“I needed to say…what I mean is…I wanted to apologize.” She held up her hand to silence him when he started to interrupt her.

“Please, let me finish. I’m afraid I’m not very good at this. I need to apologize for my behavior the other day when…when you asked me out.” She cleared her throat and continued. “I’m not excusing my actions but I reacted the way I did because I thought you were married.”

“Married? Where did you get that idea?” Then a light went on for him. “Wait a minute, that night at the church fellowship after the macaroni salad episode, you mentioned my wife. I was on the phone with an emergency when you rushed off. I didn’t have time to explain to you that I don’t have one.”

Megan nodded. “Yes and then when you asked me to dinner I was furious. I assumed another man…I assumed a married man was asking me out.”

“Megan, I realize you don’t know me well enough to know this, but I would never ask a woman out on a date if I were married, or committed in any way. It goes against everything I stand for.”

“I’m sorry. For believing the worst about you and for judging you without knowing you.”

Lee waved his hand. “Let’s put it behind us, shall we?”

Megan nodded her agreement. “I would like that.”

“Why don’t we start from scratch? On the right foot, so to speak?”

“What do you have in mind?”

In answer, he extended his hand. “Hi. I’m Lee Grainger,
bachelor,
animal doctor extraordinaire, and all around good guy. I am currently looking for a friend.”

With a giggle, Megan took his hand, clasping it for a firm handshake and finding herself rather tongue-tied.

“And you are?” he prodded with feigned ignorance.

“Oh.” Megan chuckled again. “I’m Megan McCormick, copywriter, and Laurel Ridge’s local klutz.”

“You don’t say?” he asked in mock surprise at her admittance of being a bit accident-prone.

“It’s true,” she countered. “Anyway, pleased to meet you, Dr. Grainger.”

Lee shook his head. “Oh no, if we’re going to become friends,
Miss McCormick,
you must call me Lee and I’ll call you Megan, if you’ll permit.”

Megan laughed. “Very well then.”

“I have another idea,” Lee interposed. “What do you say we skip the formalities all together and have lunch? I know a great little—”

Megan extracted her hand and backed away one step. Lee saw the look of confusion on her face. She was as skittish as a new colt and he had no desire to scare her away.

“As friends,” he reiterated. “Let’s go to lunch together—as friends. Look, I may spend most of my time with what some people would refer to as dumb animals, but I can plainly see when a girl isn’t ready for a serious relationship.” She seemed to relax a bit.

“Besides, I don’t believe a man and woman can have a real relationship unless they are first friends.”

Slanting her head to one side, she studied him warily, much as he’d seen many animals do as he tried to gain their trust. She seemed torn between bolting and coming closer. He proceeded with caution.

“Come on…” he coaxed. “It’s just lunch. Afterward, if you decide being friends with me isn’t a good idea, then that will be it.”