Someone to Watch Over Me (7 page)

Jax smiled at her and pushed a strand of hair back from her face and tucked it behind her right ear. He kissed the tip of her nose—which made her smile—and maybe he was going to actually touch his lips to hers. Maybe. How would that be?

But before he could, someone called his name. A woman.

He turned his head, and Gwen did, too.

Standing outside the gate to Gwen’s aunt’s house was a very angry-looking woman in a bright pink dress with a lovely scarf around her neck, obviously a funeral attendee and obviously very unhappy.

“Jackson Cassidy!” she roared. “Honestly, at your own mother’s funeral!”

Gwen straightened guiltily. Her cheeks positively burned. Jax moved more slowly, easing himself away and getting to his feet. He looked down at Gwen and said, “Sorry. My sister, Katie. She’s been thinking I still need a mother, and she may have to take on the job.”

“No, I’m sorry.”

“I’d introduce you, but let’s save that for another day, when she’s not so wound up.”

“Jax, I swear,” the woman began again. “Even for you, this is low.”

“Katie, enough,” he said sternly. He looked at Gwen one more time, mouthing,
Sorry,
then turned to the dog. “Let’s go, Romeo.”

Gwen sat there and watched them go, the woman stalking off ahead of them, the dog whining and trying to get her to play, to somehow make amends, Jax in his silly purple-flowered shirt, hands buried deep in his pockets looking as if he had the weight of the world on his weary shoulders.

Jax set a leisurely pace, refusing to hurry to catch his fuming sister.

She stalked ahead of him, muttering as she went. Romeo was trying to fix things by trotting beside her, licking her hand every now and then. Katie was having none of that. You’d think she’d caught Jax half-naked, the way she’d carried on.

He’d had enough of her whole attitude toward him, but he really didn’t want to get into it with her today. He didn’t want to get into anything today. Because he really didn’t want to yell at his poor sad sister today, but he wasn’t going to take garbage off of her, either.

Katie finally stopped about ten feet ahead of him, turned around and planted her hands on her hips, glaring at him.
Great.

“You just buried your mother four hours ago,” she said.

“I know. I was there.” He glanced down the block to their mother’s place, five houses away. Thank goodness no one was outside on the porch. Maybe no one would hear.

“Ahhhh!” she growled, no words seeming adequate for her in her state.

“Katie, I swear, you’re going to blow a fuse one day if you don’t tone it down.”

“She was our mother!” Katie said. “And you sneak out of the house after the funeral to go pick up some girl?”

“I walked out of the house because I couldn’t stand to be there any longer. Can you understand that? Would you rather I stayed and screamed my fool head off at the lady in Mom’s cancer support group who was bawling and saying she didn’t know how she’d get along without Mom because she took such good care of all of them. I was thinking, Lady, she was my mother. I need her. My sisters need her. This stupid dog needs her. Don’t think you need her any more than we do. And then the minister started telling me how much better off she is now than she was here on earth, and I’m thinking, What does that mean? That we’re selfish for wanting her to live? To be with us? I don’t want her to hurt the way she did the last two awful years. I’m the last person who’d want that for her. But I still want her with us.”

“Me, too,” Katie said.

“So I walked out of the house rather than growl at somebody and make a scene. Big deal, Katie.”

“But you didn’t have to go see a woman.”

“You’re saying I should swear off women out of respect for my dead mother?” he asked. Not that he hadn’t. He hadn’t been out on a date in months, hadn’t had a minute to himself.

“On the day you bury her, I would think you could keep your lips to yourself,” Katie said.

Jax scowled at her. “It wasn’t a big romantic moment. She was upset, Katie. She’s had a lousy year. I’ve had a lousy year. She was telling me about hers, and the next thing I knew, she was crying. What was I supposed to do? Be insensitive and do nothing while she cried her eyes out? What does that have to do with losing our mother?”

“You were kissing that woman,” Katie said. “I saw you. Anyone walking down the street would have seen you.”

“Well, you know what? I really don’t care. Let ’em say what they want. Let ’em think what they want. If they don’t know us well enough to know I loved my mother and that losing her was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to face, then I don’t care what they think.”

“I do.”

“That would be your problem.”

He was nearly shouting at the end, frustration and the exhaustion of the past few days getting the better of him. His sister stood there on the street, looking smaller and sadder every moment. She could be fierce when she tore into someone, laying down the law or defending someone she loved, and right now, to her, she was defending someone she loved. Jax got that. He knew why she was the way she was. He just didn’t have the strength or the patience to deal with her right now.

But before he could say anything else, she lost every bit of anger inside of her. It drained away in a moment, leaving her as weary-looking as he felt, every bit as defeated and every bit as sad.

Tears filled her eyes and rolled down her cheeks. Romeo whined and licked her hand, then glared at Jax.

Inside, Jax was roaring, railing against fate and cancer and near to weeping himself. But for his sister, he didn’t let any of those things show. He slowly walked to her, took her gently by the arms and pulled her to him. She clung to him, just as Gwen had only moments before, and he just let her cry it out. Jax was an expert at tears. With three sisters, he’d had to be.

Too bad none of their problems of late had involved skinned knees or bad grades or a boy who’d pulled their hair on the bus to school.

“I’m sorry,” Katie said finally. “I shouldn’t have yelled at you.”

“It’s okay,” he insisted.

“It’s just that when I saw the two of you, I thought…I know he loved her, too. I know he loved her as much as I did.”

“You know I did.”

“It looked like you’d forgotten her. Like it wasn’t hurting you at all.”

“Believe me, Katie, it hurts.”

“That woman—”

“Gwen,” he said. “Her name is Gwen. Someone jumped her in an alley last year and nearly raped her, and she’s still a mess. The night Mom died, she brought over a plate of food. When I offered to walk her home down the back alley, she nearly broke down. She was terrified to be alone with me, and I wanted some details about the attack, in case anything else happened. You know, so I’d know what to
look for. When she was telling me about it, she started to cry. That’s all.”

“Oh.”

“And I’m telling you not because you have a right to know, but because if you see her, I don’t want you saying anything about me and her kissing on her porch the day we buried our mother.”

“Okay. I’m sorry,” she said, genuine regret in her sad, watery eyes.

“It was a peck on the cheek, Katie, because she looked so sad.”

“Okay.” Katie sniffled and looked chagrined as he dried her tears as best he could.

“Be nice to her. She could use all the friends she can get.”

“Okay.”

“And she brought those pretty flowers for Mom, because I told her I wanted Mom to have them but I didn’t want to go against her wishes. So Gwen gathered the flowers out of the neighbors’ gardens.”

“That was nice,” Katie admitted.

“She is nice. And shy and scared and definitely not my type. I mean, come on. You know me. I want someone easy and fun. No strings.”

“You don’t really want that, Jax.”

“Yeah, I do. I like it just fine.”

“You’re going to see how wrong you are about that someday.”

Which was way too close to what his mother had said with her dying breath.
Mom
…
God, please. Please.
He didn’t really believe. Losing his mother made him want to, because if all that stuff she believed was true, then she wasn’t really gone. She was in a much better place, and nothing hurt her anymore, and he had a shot of seeing her
again sometime, somewhere, and that’s what he wanted for him and for her.

But he didn’t really believe.

He looked over at his sister, who seemed just as heartbroken.

“The cars are gone. Looks like everyone’s left,” she said.

“Good.” They were all nice people, and they all loved his mother. But he just wanted to lock himself into a room and hide, not letting anyone get near him, not even his sisters. He loved them, but they needed so much from him right now, and he wasn’t sure how much more he had to give.

What do I do about that, Mom?

Of course, she didn’t answer. She was gone.

T
he next morning, Gwen found herself walking ever so slowly past Jax’s mother’s house, just in case he came outside and one thing might lead to another, and then, there she’d be, back in his arms.

Just as a test, of course.

She hadn’t been afraid when he’d touched her. It was the most amazing thing, and she needed him to hold her again, to be sure it wasn’t a fluke or something. If it was just him or if she’d be okay with other people being that close to her.

The twelve-year-old girl inside of her had come up with the brilliant plan of creeping past Jax’s house—in hopes that he might see her and—

“Hello, dear.”

Gwen yelped. There was no other word for it. It sounded like something Romeo might say. She whipped her head around, cheeks burning, to find Mrs. Altman, who lived next door to Jax’s mother, standing by her mailbox and smiling at her.

“Hello, Mrs. Altman,” Gwen called out, hoping against hope that the sweet old lady hadn’t noticed her stalking Jax.

From the look Mrs. Altman was giving her, kind of like Gwen might have sprouted antlers or something, she had.
Great.

But raised in the South in a gentler era, Mrs. Altman didn’t mention it. Instead, she smiled kindly and said, “That was a lovely thing you did for Ellen. The flowers were just beautiful.”

“It was no trouble at all,” Gwen said. And done with what she thought were completely pure motives at the time, but maybe she’d been wrong about that, too. Maybe she’d been after Jax even then.

“You look troubled, dear,” Mrs. Altman said. “Has anything happened?”

“Oh…. No. I’m fine,” Gwen stammered.

“Do you need to speak to one of Ellen’s children? Because I’m fairly certain they’re inside. You can just go up there and knock on the door.”

“No. No. It’s nothing like that. I was just…thinking about some things…on my way to work.” That was it.
Work.
“And I really have to hurry or I’ll be late. Joanie really doesn’t like it when anyone’s late. So, I have to run. Bye, Mrs. Altman.”

And with that, the odd, sprouted-antlers look was back on the kind older lady’s face.

Gwen escaped and hurried to the flower shop, afraid of other blunders she might commit along the way. Plus, she
was
nearly late. She rushed into the shop at eight fifty-five, five minutes shy of opening time.

Joanie arrived at nine-thirty, and Gwen managed not to do anything silly until all of 10:07, when out the front window of the shop, she caught sight of a man and a dog running through the park.

She’d have known that pair anywhere. Jax was running shirtless in the bright spring sunshine, his gorgeous flirt
of a dog right next to him on this exceptionally beautiful day. Did the sky truly look bluer than ever, or was it Gwen’s imagination?

It was like a disease she’d never had before.
Man sickness.
She could not get him off her mind. She could not pry her eyes away from him, as he ran past the store window.

Maybe that was why it had felt so good when Jax held her.

He and the dog ran down a small hill, nearly disappearing from her view. Gwen stood up on her toes, leaning into the window for balance, and—

“Ahhh!” She nearly upset a huge bucket of gladiolas at her feet.

“Gwen?” Joanie came flying out of the back room. At five feet tall and maybe a hundred pounds, she was like a tiny cyclone, always busy and always stirring things up. “Are you all right?”

“Yes. Fine. Sorry I scared you. I was just…” She righted the gladiolas and then glanced guiltily at the window, thinking she was safe, her crime hidden. But just her luck, Jax ran back into view.

“Oh, I see,” Joanie said, a whole new tone coming into her voice.

“No. Really. It’s not that—” The flat-out lie stopped Gwen cold. She really tried hard not to lie.

“Oh, honey, don’t apologize. I appreciate the sights as much as any woman. Don’t you just want to go up to him and thank him for being kind enough to run past our window?”

Gwen just whimpered in another Romeo-like communication.

“You know what my mama always said?” Joanie continued. “If God wanted him to be ugly, he would be. But he’s not, and I happen to think that beauty is a thing to be admired, whether it’s a pretty flower or a tree or the sky or a man.”

“Oh. Okay.”

“Besides, I’ve known him forever. Believe me, he wouldn’t mind.”

“I believe you about that,” Gwen said. “How do you know him?”

“Every woman in town knows Jax. If they weren’t friends with his mother, they knew his sisters or they dated him or had a daughter who dated him or a friend who dated him. But everybody knows him.”

Gwen grinned. “But how do you know him?”

“I’ve known his mother for years. And he also dated my two younger sisters. That man has a way with women.”

“I know.”

“You do?” Joanie sounded so shocked, it was funny.

“I mean…I didn’t mean it like that. Really.” She tried to backtrack.

“No, it’s okay. I didn’t mean it like that, either. It’s just that you haven’t shown any interest in men since you came here, so I was surprised.”

“He’s been kind to me, and I guess he can’t help but be charming.”

“Oh, he can’t. It’s in his genes. His father, Billy Cassidy, was the best-looking man I ever saw. The funniest. The happiest. He never met a stranger. Never hurt anybody.”

“What happened to him?” Gwen asked.

“Somebody shot him almost twenty years ago. He was a cop, too. Walked into a convenience store one night when he was off duty, and stumbled into a robbery. There were a half-dozen people in the store, and he put himself between all of them and the guy’s gun, trying to talk the guy into giving up, and the guy shot him dead, just like that. It was just one of those things, you know?”

“Yeah. I know.”

“Jax was only eleven, I think, and the oldest, the only boy. He grew up fast. I mean, he still knew how to have a good time and everything, but underneath all that…He was a big help to his mother and really good with his sisters. They could have fallen apart, but the whole family just kind of pulled together and kept going. You’ve got to admire people who can get through something like that and still find a way to be happy.”

Oh, yes. Gwen was just starting to see how hard that was—to pick up and keep going. To be anything close to happy.

And yet, Jax and his family had done it.

So…maybe he could show her how.

Sure.
She could just walk up to the man and tell him she was a wreck and that being in his arms had been the nicest moments she’d had in almost a year, and could he please just do it again? He’d think she was pathetic, but he’d probably do as she asked because he was a nice man.

Gwen frowned. Would it be worth it? Baring her soul this way?

Maybe it would.

“Oh, honey,” Joanie said, “I have to tell you, he’s one man you don’t want to fall for. He never stays with anyone for long.”

“I know. It’s not about that. Really.”

Then what was it?
Gwen waited for the question that never came.

Joanie studied her with an even more worried look.

“That reminds me,” Gwen said. “How did he manage to date both your little sisters?”

“That part was easy for him. The real question is how he did it and still managed to have them both liking him in the end. I mean, the man manages to stay friends with just
about every woman he ever goes out with. It’s like women just can’t get mad at him or they can’t stay that way.”

“Is he…seeing anyone now?” she thought to ask. Just in case. Really.

“I was gonna say he’s always seeing someone, but honestly, I don’t remember the last time I saw him around town with anyone. The last few months, I think it’s all he and his sisters could do to take care of their mother. She really wanted to stay at home instead of in the hospital, and they managed, right up until the end. They were really good to her.”

So, Jax was tired and lonely and sad, and Gwen was thinking of using him to try to make herself feel better?

Maybe she’d have to go for the completely honest, straightforward approach or nothing at all. She’d march right up to him and explain the situation. He was a reasonable man. He’d understand.

Besides, she needed to know if she was truly over her fear of men. How could she possibly make plans for her future if she didn’t know? And he probably hugged a dozen different women a day. It was probably his favorite way of saying hello. What was one more woman to hug?

There.
She’d made it sound practically noble and necessary to her entire future that she get herself back into Jax’s arms.

After they got back from their run, Romeo started crying. He searched the house, inch by inch, sniffing all the corners, nosing things aside, pawing at closed doors until Jax opened them.

“What?” Jax said.

Romeo practically howled, and then he went into Jax’s mother’s bedroom and came back with the scarf he’d worn
to the funeral in his mouth. He dropped it at Jax’s feet and then barked out what sounded like a demand for answers.

“Don’t do this, Romeo. Not today.”

Romeo growled and pawed at the scarf.

“Look, the lawyer’s coming, okay? Remember? Alicia. You like her.” One of Jax’s ex-girlfriends, actually. She and his mother thought it was so funny, how his mother kept running into women he used to date. She said it was proof he’d dated too many women. “It’s time for the reading of the will. You’ll probably be the richest dog in town.”

Romeo howled once more. Obviously, he wasn’t after Jax’s mother’s money.

“Okay, I know. Not funny.” Jax actually sat down in front of the dog and tried one more time to explain. “Mom would just love seeing me do this, you know.”

Was he really going to have a conversation with the dog?

Romeo scratched at the scarf again, more insistent than the last time, and barked like he could cheerily tear Jax apart if he didn’t produce his mother ASAP.

“Okay. Here we go,” Jax said very slowly, as if the dog read lips or something. “She’s not coming back. I’m sorry. I miss her, too, but there’s nothing I can do, and if you keep wandering through the house, crying all day, I don’t know what I’ll do to you.”

And then the crying sound came back. It was just awful. A squeaky, pitiful sound that went on and on and on.

“I don’t understand it myself,” Jax said. “How can I possibly explain it to a dog?”

Romeo just cried.

“How about a muzzle?” Jax suggested. “Could we get you a muzzle? I know it keeps dogs from biting, but does it keep them quiet, too?”

Jax didn’t know. He didn’t know anything.

Except that he was actually talking to the dog.

How do you like that, Mom?

“Okay, just go ahead and cry,” Jax said, getting to his feet. He glanced at the clock and saw that he was running late. He headed for the back bedroom, which was his, and started pulling on jeans and a T-shirt because he’d just gotten out of the shower when Romeo started fussing.

Romeo followed, sniffing through Jax’s closet and his dresser drawers.

“I didn’t hide her in the bureau, I swear,” Jax said, then nearly tripped over the dog, who was sniffing under Jax’s bed.

Jax closed his eyes and sank down to the floor. Romeo sat up and they were eye-to-eye again.

“Look, I just can’t do this,” Jax said. “Do you understand? I can’t listen to this. I can’t watch you search the house for her or wait at the door for her or look at me like you want to know why I can’t bring her back. She’s gone.”

Romeo whined again and looked out the window, still hopeful.

How had he gotten the job of breaking the news to the dog? He wanted to sit down and whine along with Romeo, and then someone else could come along and explain everything to both of them, especially why they couldn’t be with her now.

Great.
His mother always said he and the dog were just alike.
I’m finally starting to see the resemblance, Mom.

Jax wondered if it was the pressure of losing his mother and being stuck with her constantly whining, fussing, crying, heartbroken dog that had him losing it.

At least Alicia Campbell was coming this morning with the will. If Jax knew his mother, and he did, she’d laid out everything, all nice and neat, down to the smallest details. Custody of Romeo would be high on her list. She’d loved
the silly creature too much not to put a lot of thought into who would raise him.

So, this was a turning point. They’d see the will. He and his sisters would find all the things she’d promised to everyone, deliver them, clean out the house, put it on the market, and then, maybe, things would slowly get back to normal. Jax would go back to work, find an apartment, pick up with his old life. Somehow, he’d take care of the girls, and he’d forget all about the dog.
Sorry, Mom. I need to do it. All of it. It won’t be the same without you, but I can’t stay in this limbo much longer. It’s too hard, too painful.

She’d understand.

So, Jax had a plan. Divide up her stuff, sell the house, get on with his life. He hoped it worked, that it gave him some small measure of relief, because he still couldn’t imagine being without her.

Jax’s sisters arrived an hour later, looking solemn and teary-eyed. Alicia showed up right on time, ten minutes later. She was wearing a beautifully cut, dark blue suit and heels, briefcase in hand, looking impossibly grown up compared to the girl he’d dated sophomore year of high school.

“Hi, Jax,” she said, kissing him softly on the cheek, then greeting his sisters one by one and the dog.

Jax’s mother had gotten a real kick out of hiring Alicia. Thanks to her, his mother knew more about his life in high school than Jax remembered sometimes. She’d offered to hire another lawyer, but said if she tried to avoid every woman Jax had dated at one time or another, she’d have to move to another town. Either that or give up eating out, getting her teeth cleaned, buying a car, buying insurance,
banking, gardening, going to the gym and having chemo. One of his exes had been a chemo nurse.

Jax had told her she was welcome to see any of his former girlfriends anytime she wanted and talk about anything she liked. She’d laughed and told him she was going to laugh the loudest on his wedding day.