Something About Joe (11 page)

“Worrying?”

“No. He’s in good hands.”

“Good hands! With that biker? I didn’t want
to say anything, but are you out of your mind—leaving your child
with a person like that?”

Clive always
felt he should be looking out for her. But this wasn’t about
work.

“
I’m very
happy with the way Joe cares for Mitchell. In fact...in fact he’s
the best nanny I’ve ever had.”

As she said
the words, she realiz
ed how true they
were.

“
He’s taken
a real interest in Mitchell and Mitchell adores him. I hadn’t
realized how much he needs a man’s presence in his
life.”

Clive reached across the table and took her
hand. She resisted the urge to snatch it away but left it lying
lifeless in his. He let it go.

“
I’d hoped
you were beginning to realize that, and that’s why you agreed to
come out with me.”

His
words
startled her. She hadn’t expected
Clive to state his case so bluntly.

“Allison, it isn’t only Mitchell who needs a
man in his life. What about you?”

“
I’m
managing fine without a man thank you,” she protested.

“
Having
no
one is better than having Peter, I
suppose. How do you think it was for the people who care about you
to watch the way he treated you?”

“
He...
he just couldn’t handle the
thought of a child.” Allison felt uncomfortable discussing her
marriage with Clive. With anyone.

“
It wasn’t
just that. It was before then, too. The put-downs, the way he
pushed you around—”

“I don’t want to talk about this.” She put
up her hand to halt his flow of words. “It’s irrelevant.”

“
No, it’s
not. Not to someone who...who had feelings for you, but couldn’t do
anything about them.”

“
You were
married, too. Remember?”

“
Only
because I couldn’t have—
”

“
Don’t say
it. Don’t say it, Clive, because it isn’t true.”

“You mean because you don’t want to hear
it.”

“Perhaps,” she conceded.

Clive looked at her through narrowed eyes.
“It’s that biker babysitter, isn’t it?”

Allison felt
herself flushing. “The babysitter?” Her voice sounded strained to
her ears.

“
Yes. I
thought he was going to punch my lights out when I picked you up
tonight.”

She tried to laugh. “Oh don’t be ridiculous.
Joe isn’t interested in me.”

“Are you blind? The lust in his eyes was
enough to burn your dress off.”

“Clive!”

Allison
affected indignation, but something deep inside her was beginning
to stir with a slow, pulsing excitement that Joe’s attraction to
her was so obvious to another man.

“
I could be
a lot more vulgar than that, my dear. That guy wants to get into
your pant—”

“Clive!”

“
And
I’m
wondering if he’s been given any
encouragement.”

Clive had
shown jealousy before, when one of the guys at work had tried to
hit on her. She’d laughed it off at the time but now it was making
her feel uncomfortable.

“
Don’t be
crazy
. For one thing Joe is five years
younger than me, he’s a cool, musician kind of guy, he—”

“
Methinks
the lady doth protest too much.”

Allison let out a strangled cry of
annoyance. Clive laughed at her reaction. But then he sobered into
deadly seriousness.

“
I don’t
want to see you going after the wrong kind of man again. Tangle
with this guy and you’ll only get hurt. He’s not for you. A man
like me is what you need, though it might take you time to realize
it.”

“
Clive,
I—
”

He took her
hand again. His eyes bored into her face so intently she shifted in
her seat. “I can look after you, Allison. Give you the kind of life
you deserve. And Mitchell, too, he needs a father. I’ve got
daughters—I’d welcome a son. And you know I’ve learned from my
marital mistakes—the next time I marry it will be until death do us
part.”

This was
getting worse by the second. She didn’t want to be looked after by
him. That kind of a relationship was a no-no. She wanted a
relationship of equals. And she feared that, although Clive
respected her professionalism at work, as soon as she married him
he’d expect her to revert to the “little woman”. Just like
Peter.

Yet she knew Clive’s heart was in the right
place.

She looked back at him and was surprised to
see a nerve flicker at the corner of his mouth. Despite his
self-assurance, Clive was nervous and she resolved to be kind to
him.

Because
nice as he was, familiar
as he was, thoughtful as he was, she didn’t feel one flicker of
physical attraction for him. His hand on hers felt clammy, and it
was with an inward shudder of revulsion she imagined him touching
her intimately.

Allison
didn’t trust physical attraction as a sole reason for a
relationship, but it had to be part of it. And she would need a
general anesthetic to go to bed with Clive. She knew that
now.

But she
didn’t have the courage to say it. Instead she looked at her watch
again. “Clive, it’s late. I…I can’t think about this right
now.”

He squeezed
her hand before letting it go. “I want you to think about it. I’m
the man for you—not your biker babysitter.”

Clive
signal
ed the waiter for the
check.

Allison’s
thoughts raced as Clive drove her home. This date had not been a
good idea. Clive was not for her and now she knew it. Trouble was,
he didn’t know it. She couldn’t just blurt out, “Clive, you don’t
turn me on.” That would hurt his feelings. And he was still her
boss. They still had to work together and she didn’t want any
awkwardness. She’d have to think about the best way to let him
down.

He saw her
safely to her door.
“Don’t see me in,
Clive,” she said, dreading the thought he might expect to be asked
in for coffee. She tried not to cringe away from the light brush of
his lips across her cheek.

She was
grateful Clive hadn’t tried to prolong the evening. She knew now
that a working relationship was all she would ever want.

She wasn’t sure what she wanted from
Joe.

After Clive
left, she
stood outside for a moment,
breathing in the cool evening air scented by the wisteria blooms
that hung from the veranda’s iron scrollwork.

She took a
deep, calming breath, but nothing could stop the tripping and
fluttering of her heart.

Y
et what was the point of
yearning for Joe? Clive was right—her boss probably was the man for
her: he was secure in his job; he was from her world; and she
wouldn’t have to worry about money. As well, he was looking for
commitment. All those things were important to her.

Joe,
compellingly attractive as he was, was at a different stage of
life—where his sole ambition was to play in his band. A wife and a
ready-made family were hardly what he’d be planning for. And she
wasn’t looking for a meaningless fling.

Joe Martin
was not for her. While the thought of a fling with no future was
heart-stoppingly appealing, she knew she couldn’t live with herself
if she indulged in a sex-without-strings affair. Casual sex went
against everything she believed in—her religious upbringing, her
family beliefs. And, underlying everything, the knowledge of what
had happened to her mother. If her mother had been married to her
father, Allison’s life would have been very different.

So why spend
so much time fantasizing about Joe? Why feel so pleased that Joe’s
feelings had been so obvious to Clive?

She pushed
open the door. The lights were dimmed, and she could hear the low
murmur of the television in the living room. She slipped off her
high-heeled shoes, always conscious of waking Mitchell even in his
bedroom above, and went in.

Joe lay
asleep on the sofa, illuminated by the flickering light from the
television. The baby monitor stood nearby on the coffee table, its
green “on” light glowing.

Joe’s face in repose was even more handsome.
A thick fan of dark lashes rested on his cheek. His chin was
shadowed by a day’s growth and his firm lips were slightly parted.
He looked both vulnerable and strong at the same time.

His long, hard body was sprawled across the
sofa in total relaxation, one arm flung above his head. The
powerful muscles of his chest moved up and down against the tight
fabric of his T-shirt as he breathed. His boots and socks lay where
he’d kicked them off. An empty can of Coke and three crumpled,
empty potato chip packs were scattered on the coffee table near the
monitor.

Her heart
gave a painful twist inside her and a tremor of desire ran through
her. He was so handsome. And sexy. The sexiest man she’d ever
known. She wondered what it would be like to wake each morning to
see that face just kissing distance away. To watch his eyes open
and focus on her, to have him pull her to his naked
body...

But it wasn’t only his physical perfection
that had her heart turning so painfully. She liked Joe Martin.
Really liked him. There was a strong, decent core to him she was
beginning to admire and to appreciate. He was the kind of man you
wanted on your side.

She switched
off the television then padded softly toward the stairs. She could
stand and feast her eyes on Joe all night, but she had to check on
Mitchell.

She went upstairs. Mitchell, too, lay
sprawled on his back in peaceful sleep.

A wave of
love swept over her at the sight of her son’s innocent, sleeping
face. He’d kicked off his covers. She pulled them back over him,
gently tucking them around him.

A wonderful feeling of contentment filled
her at the thought of the tiny man sleeping here, and the grown man
sleeping downstairs on her sofa.

Somehow it seemed so right to have them both
with her.

But it was a contentment that was fleeting,
an indulgence she allowed herself to hug to her heart for just
seconds. Mitchell was hers. Joe Martin was not.

She went downstairs again.

She
perched on the edge of the sofa and allowed
herself the delicious luxury of watching Joe sleep.

No matter
how many times she reminded herself that sex-without-strings wasn’t
a good idea, she forgot it as soon as she came within kissing
distance of Joe Martin.

That now
familiar tremor of excitement seized her as she admired his long
denim-clad legs, the breadth of his powerful shoulders. She looked
at his mouth and remembered with a shudder of pleasure what it felt
like to kiss it.

She wondered what he would do if she lay
down beside him and pressed her body against his, slid her hands
under his T-shirt and caressed his body, undid the heavy buckle of
his belt... Her nipples tingled at the thought.

She knew if
she were to behave sensibly, she would wake him so he could go
home. But sensible was not what she wanted to be, past midnight,
and alone with Joe Martin.

CHAPTER SIX

J
oe was dreaming. It was a warm,
fuzzy dream, the edges blurred by a swirling kind of
mist.

He was
walking along a beach with Allison; their bare feet gently washed
by curling, teasing little waves. He was holding her hand and, as
he squeezed it, he looked down at her and was almost blinded by the
look of passionate promise that shone from her eyes.

He caught
his breath from the wonder of it, the exhilarating, joyous wonder
of it and squeezed her hand harder…

He woke up to find himself gripping the arm
of a sofa. For a bewildering moment he didn’t know where he
was.

But then he
saw her sitting at the other end of the sofa, her gorgeous legs
elegantly crossed. Her wonderful perfume wafted across to him. A
smile curved her lovely mouth, and her eyes were warm with an
emotion that echoed his dream.

He must still be dreaming. He hadn’t woken
up at all.

But the sofa
was hard and uncomfortable. He was definitely awake.

And the
woman he’d been dreaming of making love to on a beach was just an
arm’s length away. He wanted to pull her to him and make the dream
a reality.

But he’d
promised himself he wouldn’t touch her
.

He pushed
himself up into a seated position.

“You’re home,” he said.

“Yes,” she murmured.

He stood up. She got up too.

“You’ve caught me sleeping on the job,” he
said.

“
No matter.
It’s very late.
”

A spasm of jealousy racked him. He searched
over her shoulder. “Clive’s not with you?”

“No,” she said.

“Good,” he said. Then again. “Good.”

He could see the delicate blue veins that
pulsed under the creamy skin of her throat. For the first time he
noticed her dainty ears and the dusting of tiny freckles across the
bridge of her small, straight nose.

He noticed her glossy, red lipstick seemed
very intact. She hadn’t been kissed tonight.