Something Like Thunder (50 page)

“That’s the one!” Layne released them so he could take it. “This should liven things up!”

Kelly nodded toward the inflatable castle. “You might want to think twice about getting people drunk and shoving them in your ball pit.”

“It’s not a ball pit,” Layne said patiently. “It’s a bounce house, and it happens to be my most ingenious plan yet. Just imagine me and a handsome boy jumping around in that thing, bumping into each other and getting all handsy until he falls on top of me and… Well, paint your own picture.”

Kelly chuckled in appreciation. “So who’s the lucky guy?”

Layne nodded to one corner of the yard where three guys stood. Nathaniel looked without much interest. One was tall and pale, his hair crimson. The other two looked like brothers, their skin and hair dark. One wore a tank top, his rounded shoulders glowing bronze in the sunlight.

“Which one are you after?” Kelly asked.

“Any of them will do,” Layne said with a wistful sigh. “Or all of them. I’m hedging my bets. I figure I’m tripling my odds by inviting all three here.”

“Are they from the youth group?” Kelly asked.

“Imported. God bless the Internet!”

“Hungry,” Nathaniel muttered, interrupting their gossip session.

“If you’ll excuse me,” Kelly said, patting his arm, “I have to go feed my man-beast.”

Layne smiled at him longingly. “Have fun, you lucky bastard.”

Nathaniel was led to the buffet, which offered everything he needed: food to satiate his bodily hunger, a focus so he wouldn’t have to mingle, and an excuse to keep his mouth full so he couldn’t respond to small talk. Kelly was already making the rounds, Nathaniel happy to remain alone and eat. His plan backfired somewhat when Layne’s mother lit the candles on the cake, attracting more people to the buffet. The rest were called over by Layne, who made them watch and wait while he struggled to find the ultimate birthday wish. While this decision was being made, Kelly returned to his side.

“Did it work?” Layne asked once he blew out the candles. “Are you all madly in love with me?”

“Yes,” the crowd moaned.

Layne appeared delighted until he spotted something in the distance. “My beautiful palace!” he cried. “It’s shrinking!”

Kelly turned and snorted. Nathaniel followed his gaze. The multi-colored inflatable castle was drooping around the edges, one of the parapets already limp and lifeless.

“This is worse than the Hindenburg disaster!” Layne declared. “Oh, the humanity!”

“The air pump motor is still running,” Nathaniel said to Kelly. “The connection probably came loose.”

“Think you can fix it?”

He took one look at those hopeful, pleading eyes and puffed up his chest. “I’ll try.”

“Best boyfriend ever!”

Nathaniel sauntered over to the castle. Layne was trying to lift the parapet, as if that would help. Nathaniel went instead to the motor, crouching down beside it and trying to make sense of all the tubes.

“What have we got here?” a female voice asked.

Nathaniel glanced up. Bonnie. Kelly’s best friend. They had only met a few times, but Nathaniel liked her. He thought of her as a plucky lesbian, but if he ever told her that, she’d probably get him in a headlock and make him apologize. She was a fraction of his size, but her spunky style and feisty personality more than compensated for her stature.

“You know anything about air pumps?” he asked.

“Yep.” Bonnie hoisted up her belt like it was heavy with tools and squatted next to him. In a quieter voice she added, “Not a clue. I just wanted to avoid being drafted into food service.”

Nathaniel glanced back to Kelly, who was dishing out cake, talking to each person as he handed them slices. “You guys are lucky,” he said, returning his attention to Bonnie and the air pump. “I should have found myself a youth group when I was a teenager. When I first came out, everything that followed was anticlimactic. My parents didn’t care, so no drama. I didn’t know any other gay people, so no action of any sort. Basically I told the world I was gay, and it replied with a half-hearted shrug.”

“Could be worse,” Bonnie replied. “My mom created a profile for me on an online dating site, trying to get me hooked up with the right sort of guy. She figured I was confused and just needed a feminine boy, or maybe she was trying to confuse me. Either way, it was extremely misguided.”

“I’m sure nothing came of it,” Nathaniel said, checking various connections.

“Oh, I totally went for it. My mom offered to double my allowance, and I’ve always been a sucker for bribes. I actually found out about the gay youth group from one of my dates. He wasn’t gay, despite being feminine, but his brother was queer enough for them both. Butch as hell too. Funny how the world works sometimes.”

Nathaniel laughed. Then he noticed the problem, reattached a tube that had come loose and tightened the metal clamp around it. Brushing off his hands, he stood at the same time Bonnie did. “You should hang out with us more often,” he said. “I know I’ve been hogging Kelly, but you’re welcome at my place any time. I don’t want to keep you guys apart.”

Bonnie smiled. “Don’t feel guilty. It’s not your fault Kelly is busy being famous.” She looked over at her friend. “These days he seems to find fans wherever he goes.”

“No kidding.” Nathaniel followed her gaze. “Did he tell you about the woman at the…” He trailed off, puzzled by what he saw. One of the guys Layne was hoping to seduce was standing in front of Kelly, lifting up his sleeveless shirt to reveal his torso. Even from here Nathaniel could see he was toned. Kelly was clearly taken aback, but kept talking to the guy even once his bare skin was covered again.

“Nothing to Hulk out over,” Bonnie said. “You know you can trust Kelly.”

When she placed a hand on his arm, Nathaniel was surprised to notice how tense he was. In the distance, Kelly turned away, giving his full attention to cutting cake. This didn’t seem to discourage the other guy, who leaned in closer and continued to speak, teeth flashing when Kelly eventually looked over at him again.

“Who is that?” Nathaniel grumbled.

“Rico,” Bonnie said. “I don’t really know him. He’s from out of town. We can go over there. Introduce ourselves. I’m sure once he sees you he’ll get the hint.”

“Good idea.”

Nathaniel walked toward them, watching as Rico continued talking to Kelly, who appeared slightly confused. Then Kelly wiped at a cheek self-consciously, Rico shaking his head and reaching out, as if to help. For one brief moment, Nathaniel was no longer in the middle of a teenager’s birthday party. Instead he was in the parking lot of a Tex-Mex restaurant in Connecticut, Caesar reaching forward to wipe Rebecca’s chin. Nathaniel had mentally replayed that scene countless times, agonizing over the kiss that had ruined two relationships at once. Now history was repeating itself, except Rico was no friend, that hand of his hooking behind Kelly’s head. Their lips met, a growl escaping Nathaniel as he charged forward. He saw his boyfriend’s eyes go wide in shock, his body stiffening before he tried to pull away to end the kiss. Nathaniel could definitely help with that. He reached them and used both arms to grab Rico around the torso, lifting him off the ground and flinging him to one side, sparing the table and cake. A shame, because Nathaniel would have loved seeing him roll through the food like the pig he was. Still, throwing him on the grass would make beating the living hell out of him a lot cleaner. At least until Nathaniel drew blood.

Rico rolled onto his back. Nathaniel pounced on him with his full weight, forcing breath to wheeze out of his lungs. Rico wouldn’t need to breathe for much longer anyway, because Nathaniel was pretty damn sure he was going to kill the little shit. He pulled back a fist to punch, but someone grabbed his arm, slowing him enough that Rico was able to dodge. Nathaniel glanced over to find Kelly pulling on him, his expression pleading. Rico said something in Spanish and lashed out, popping Nathaniel on the chin. His jaw rattled painfully. Now Kelly’s expression matched his own, his fury evident. He released Nathaniel’s arm, freeing him to slug Rico in the face with an ugly crunching noise. Rico touched his nose instinctively and saw blood on his fingers. Then he snarled, about to lash out again, but Bonnie skidded across the grass like a referee ready for the count.

She shoved Rico down with one hand and pushed at Nathaniel’s chest with the other. “Break it up!” she shouted. “Come on, guys. You don’t want to do this!”

Kelly pulled at Nathaniel until he got off Rico and stood. He braced himself for Rico to rise and continue the fight, but Bonnie was still holding him down. Layne rushed over to help, dabbing at Rico’s bloody nose with a cheerful napkin depicting streamers and balloons.

Layne spoke and Kelly answered, but their words were lost on him. Nathaniel was too busy huffing, staring down at Rico and resisting the urge to stomp on his face until his head was buried in the ground.

“Come on,” Kelly said, yanking on his arm. “Let’s go.”

Nathaniel stumbled along with him as they left the yard, walking around the house. When he saw the car, he picked up the pace. Kelly released his arm, going instead for his hand. Nathaniel knocked it away, not in the mood for tenderness.

This didn’t please Kelly, who forced him to stop. “You
know
I didn’t want to kiss him, right?”

Just the mention of it made his blood boil again. Nathaniel wanted to turn around and finish beating the hell out of Caesar. He winced and shook his head. No, not Caesar. Rico. But for a second he had seen Caesar on the grass, Rebecca holding him down and trying to stop the fight. Old ghosts. When would they cease haunting him? Nathaniel wanted them to finally fucking go away. Forever. He headed for the car again.

“I’m driving,” Kelly said from behind him. “You’re way too emotional right now.”

Nathaniel dug in his pocket for the keys and tossed them over his shoulder. He waited by the passenger door until it unlocked, then slouched in the seat and covered his eyes with one hand. His head hurt, his temples pounding. When the car finally stopped again, they were at his apartment. He waited for Kelly to unlock the front door, then went inside and ignored Zero’s excited greeting, instead going straight into the bedroom. Once there he shut the door behind him and locked it. Then he pulled down the blinds so the room was dark and got on the bed. Curling into a ball and covering his head with a pillow, he squeezed his eyes shut and willed the images to cease.

The restaurant parking lot. Caesar leaning toward Kelly, Bonnie leaning toward Rebecca, Rico honking the horn of a car before running Nathaniel over. He felt insane, rage still coursing through him. As the minutes ticked by, his thoughts started making sense, his anger fading. He soon missed it, since it helped disguise the pain.

He had thought they would be safe. Two damaged soldiers, returning home scarred. He knew Kelly hadn’t wanted to hurt him, would never willingly put him through an experience like that. And yet it had happened. In a way it felt inevitable. Nathaniel had been worrying about Kelly since Cancún. His anxiety had begun there, and though he had brief reprieves, the fear remained, bubbling away in the back of his mind. What if Kelly were to fall or be attacked? What if he lost interest? What if Nathaniel failed him in some way, no matter how unintentional, and Kelly was hurt?

Nathaniel had fought against these possibilities. He spent every spare moment trying to shield Kelly. He poured over the details of each new modeling assignment, trying to make sure they were safe and respectable. Even the new prosthetic was born of this anxiety. Kelly was more mobile now, able to run or reach for his phone if—heaven forbid—Nathaniel wasn’t there when the worst happened. And in his mind, those nightmares were ongoing, all the worst-case scenarios imaginable. Nathaniel entertained each and kept trying to find ways to prevent them and protect Kelly.

Now he knew that he couldn’t. If a kid’s birthday party wasn’t safe, what was? Nathaniel gripped the pillow even tighter. Some slimy guy had kissed his boyfriend. Kelly could survive that, could survive anything. Look at what he’d been through! What a joke, what arrogance to even think he needed protecting. Kelly, who had been through hell and still had the strength to cock one eyebrow at the world as if to say, “Seriously? You wanna mess with me? Go ahead and try!”

In truth it was Nathaniel who couldn’t handle this. He hurt and seethed and ached because of a betrayal from
years
ago. He still hadn’t recovered from what Caesar and Rebecca had done, and they were nothing compared to Kelly. Nathaniel had loved them both, but not as much as he loved the guy in the other room. If losing them had hurt that much, was able to send him into a blind rage even now… He was weak. Too weak to protect anyone. He was grateful for Kelly’s strength, because it meant he would be okay after today. After what needed to be done. Nathaniel lay there until the slivers of light around the blinds grew dark. He forced himself to revisit the image of Rico kissing Kelly over and over again even though it hurt more each time. Such a thing was inevitable. Someday Kelly would move on and find another guy to kiss him. Nathaniel had only glimpsed the future today.

He steeped in his own misery, tossing aside the pillow, wiping at his tears, punching the mattress in his frustration. Then he forced himself to rise and go to the bedroom door. It was time. Nathaniel was tempted to flip the switch. He hadn’t needed to for years. Nathaniel wasn’t even sure he
could
shut himself down, turn off his emotions, but he wanted to try. Just not yet. He had to show Kelly his pain, because only then would he understand.