Something New (40 page)

The red that had infused Thomas’s face only moments ago drained away in a flood. “Dear God.”

“Dear God is right.” Venom laced Abby’s every word. “I remember now. It’s not just fuzzy stuff left over from a traumatic childhood. I remember everything. You know because you were there, and so was I. If you hadn’t had to leave so quickly, you would’ve kept looking for me. You would’ve found me eventually”—a rush of fear from that day choked her—“and you would’ve killed me.”

“No, damn it, no,” Thomas swore. “You were just a child.”

“But I was a witness!” Abby swiped at the wetness blurring her vision. “You called me by my name, you devil bastard. You tried to lure me out with ice cream.” The tears flew freely, and her voice was stripped raw, but the pain only helped push her more. “If my mom hadn’t looked at me as she lay there dying, urging me to be silent, I might have come out of hiding. You might have slashed my throat too and gotten away with three murders.”

Thomas shook his head. No words, no defense, no explanation, no confession, and no apologies. Just a shake of his head, and his lack of a response stabbed Abby in the heart all over again.

“Do you know how long I sat with those bodies because nobody came?” She screeched at him, but she didn’t care. She couldn’t stop. “You ran to save yourself, but nobody ever came. It was just me in a bloody room with my mom and dad. I couldn’t get them to talk, and they wouldn’t blink their eyes, but I couldn’t accept why.” Her voice cracked on the flood of released emotions. “It went on for hours and hours without end.”

“I know.” His voice broke too.

“You know”—Abby hit her head with her fingers—“but you don’t understand.” She dug her fist into her breast, but the pain didn’t amount to a pinprick of the rage and fear and loneliness she’d lived with every single day after her parents died. “You can never
understand
. You changed my life in a way that can never be undone. I’ll never be someone who didn’t have her parents murdered and stolen from her life when she was eight years old. I’ll never be a person who didn’t bounce through the foster-care system until it kicked her out on the day she turned eighteen. I’ll always be the person who stopped believing in God on the day you stole my parents from me.” Her chest heaved, heavy with old hurts, weighing her down. “Do you still want to point your gun at me and pretend you didn’t do it?”

“It’s not what you think,” Thomas said, his gun not lowering an inch.

“It’s over, Zanger.” Braden’s voice suddenly filled the room.

Zanger? Braden’s boss
? Abby jerked her gaze to the left and saw Braden coming up the outer aisle, his gun drawn and aimed at Thomas. Another man took up point on the right side, his weapon drawn on Thomas too. Abby had been so intent on her parents’ murderer that she hadn’t heard or noticed either one of them enter the church.

“She recognizes your voice,” Braden said, his focus trained on the killer. “We know from the tattoos that Cormack didn’t do it. We can put you in a book club with Elaine Gaines. Once I talk to those people, I’d bet a few of them will remember the two of you were friendly.” Braden kept Zanger’s attention on him and his own steps to a minimum, but he and the man he’d entered with did slowly get closer to Thomas. “We have Abby’s memory of the blond man in the den with her father. I’ve seen pictures of you in your office from that time period. You fish. So did Richard. I bet if I search hard enough, I can find at least one person who remembers you two together. I know it was you.” For a split second, Braden’s attention shifted to the woman with Father Kurt. “If you want to maintain that position with your weapon, we can keep discussing it here. I’d think you might want to do it down at the station and spare your wife any more details.”

“They didn’t know about each other,” Thomas said, his severely textured voice somehow rising in pitch. “They were married, but they were really just companions. It wasn’t like they were really cheating. They were never supposed to know what was going on.”

Braden’s mouth slashed to a thin line. “It’s easy to say you don’t care until you find out there’s another real flesh-and-blood person in your spouse’s bed.”

“Richard called me and said he wanted to end it. He wanted to come clean to Elaine, to get counseling, and try to make a go of the marriage. I knew it wouldn’t work; that wasn’t who he was.” All of a sudden, Thomas became the Niagara Falls of information. “I loved him. I loved Elaine too. I didn’t want it to be over with either of them. I knew Elaine had a charity thing, so I drove out to the house and tried to talk Richard out of it. We… Something happened between us, and I thought we came to an understanding. But afterward, he still said he couldn’t see me anymore. It was the last time we could…do what we did. I left, but I knew Richard, and I knew Elaine too. If they confessed to each other what they’d done, they would need to purge their souls of everything, and they would tell.” Anger entered Thomas’s voice, and the blotches of red returned to his face. “The secret would come out. Someone would overhear something. You tell one person a secret like this, even a priest, and before you know it, two people know, then three people, until the whole town is in on it.”

“And you couldn’t have that,” Braden said, his voice conversational. “You were respected at the station and had the start of a promising career.”

Thomas nodded as if his reasoning made perfect sense. “And I had Karen. We’d just started dating, but I knew she would make the perfect wife. If she’d found out I’d been involved with another woman, and a man too, she would have left me. I would have had nothing.”

Rodrigo growled behind Abby. “So instead you killed two people and left a little girl with nobody to call her own.”

Thomas went very still, and his gaze locked on Abby. “If you’d gone with them, you never would have suffered.”

Everyone in the church gasped.

“You sick son of a bitch,” Braden hissed. “You just confessed that you’d intended to kill a child too.”

Karen grabbed her mouth and doubled over. “I think I’m going to be sick.” As she swayed to the side, she retched violently.

“Karen!” Thomas moved to grab his wife.

The second Zanger took his focus off his weapon, Braden and his partner rushed the man. Braden shouted, “Get down! Get down on the ground now!” The other man shoved Zanger onto his stomach with a boot to his shoulder blades. He kept it there, holding Zanger in place, and pointed his gun to the back of Zanger’s head as Braden yanked his boss’s arms behind his back and cuffed him. His cheek planted into the floor, Thomas pleaded with his wife to understand him, but she just wiped her mouth and turned away.

Father Kurt dropped to Karen Zanger’s side and propped her semilimp form up with an arm around her waist. Braden glanced in the wife’s direction, and the priest assured Braden he would make sure Karen had all the help she needed.

As Braden hauled Thomas Zanger to his feet and read him his rights, Rodrigo wrapped his arm around Abby and tugged her to his side. “It’s over now, Bit.” He pressed a kiss to the side of her head, holding his mouth there. “You don’t have to be afraid to go to sleep anymore.”

“Right,” Abby murmured. Her legs and arms suddenly trembled again terribly, and she wasn’t sure if they would ever stop. She leaned into Rodrigo’s big frame, feeling as weak as a baby bird. Together, in silence, they watched Braden do his job from the sidelines. At the exit, with Zanger cuffed in his custody in front of him, Braden looked back at them and gave them a brief nod.

Abby knew Braden would make sure Zanger put his confession down on paper and that there would be no loopholes through which the man could slip free.

No more nightmares. No more search for a motive and murderer.

Now I just have to figure out how to live with the truth.

* * *

Hours later, Rodrigo answered Braden’s knock on Abby’s door. Rodrigo was a sight for sore eyes, and Braden stepped into the man’s embrace, taking a good long moment to enjoy the security of a pair of big strong arms holding him tight. Braden had been able to do his job today because of Rodrigo. Not only by being able to take time away from Abby to take care of business at the station after everything had gone down, but also because it was Rodrigo who’d texted Braden a brief message
911 episcopal church
that led Braden and Ben to Zanger’s location.

As he pulled away, Braden cupped his hand against Rodrigo’s chiseled cheek, needing to maintain the connection. “How’s she doing?” he asked, even though he’d already called twice tonight.

Rodrigo pressed a kiss to the inside of Braden’s wrist. “Same. Quiet.” He wound his hand in Braden’s and tugged him up the stairs. “She’s looking at a picture of her parents a lot.”

“That’s understandable.”

“Yeah. Chris and Jonah just left,” Rodrigo shared. “They wanted to help but didn’t really know what to do.” He looked back and met Braden’s gaze. “Not sure I do either.”

They reached the landing, and Abby appeared from her bedroom. Sadness absolutely drenched her eyes to the deepest, bluest midnight, and it broke Braden’s heart.

“How’d it go?” she asked, not moving any closer.

“Good, I think.” Braden held his position when everything in him wanted to scoop her up in his arms. “Zanger doesn’t want this being dragged out in public any more than it has to be, and that’s really motivating him to avoid a trial. He made his confession on the record, and now it’s just a matter of the lawyers and a judge hashing out the rest.”

“That’s good.” Abby rubbed her palms on her shirtsleeves and then her jeans, as if she didn’t quite know what to do. “I was hoping you would say that.”

“What can we do for you, Bit?” Rodrigo took one of those hands and kissed it. “Do you want me to make you some dinner? Or I can take us out to eat. Or we can just veg out in front of the TV and not think for the rest of the night. It’s up to you.”

Haggard as hell, Abby looked down at the floor. “I think I’m going to go for a walk.” She squeezed past them. “I need some time alone to process everything that went down today.”

Rodrigo kept hold of her hand, preventing her from taking more than one step. “We can come with you.”

“No.” She tugged against Rodrigo’s hold. “I promise I’ll be fine.” A tremulous smile briefly appeared. “I just need some air and a few minutes by myself. I’ll see you in a little while.”

Braden curled his hand around Rodrigo’s shoulder and squeezed. A moment later, Rodrigo released Abby.

She dipped her head then called out, “Bye,” as she rushed down the stairs.

One glance and Braden could read everything in Rodrigo’s dark eyes. “You’re thinking about following her.”

Rodrigo’s stare remained on the empty staircase. “I know I can’t, but it’s fucking hard not to chase her down.”

“I know,” Braden murmured. “She has to be able to do this in her own time and in her own way. If we push, we’ll screw everything up.”

“I know that too. Doesn’t stop me from wanting to grab her and hold her anyway.” Running his hands through his dark tresses, Rodrigo killed any sense of order or style to his hair. “This has to be what it feels like to be impotent.” His grimace looked feral. “I fucking hate it.”

Braden’s chest weighed heavily as he looked around at the colorful, empty hallway and rooms. Without Abby, the painted walls seemed dimmer and not quite right. “It’s not any easier for me, Rigo.” His stomach growled right then, as it had been doing for hours, and this prowling man next to him needed a distraction. “Are you open to cooking something for me? I haven’t eaten anything since you fed me breakfast.”

Rodrigo staggered to a stop only inches from Braden. “What do you want? I need something to do.”

“Surprise me.” Braden reached out and brushed his fingers through the tufts of Rodrigo’s disheveled hair. “You haven’t disappointed me yet.”

Rodrigo rolled his eyes. “You don’t have to flatter me.” Taking Braden’s hand, Rodrigo led him to the kitchen, adding, “You already know I love you.”

Braden staggered, and it didn’t much surprise him when he uttered Rodrigo’s favorite curse word.

Chapter Twenty

From bed, Abby stared out into Rodrigo’s courtyard, her thoughts and heart and beliefs a jumble she didn’t know how to fully reconcile. Twinkles of early-morning light filtered in through the wall of windows and danced across her purse where it sat in one of the two chairs in the room.

Abby scooted to the end of the mattress to get up, careful not to disturb either of her bedmates. A note sat inside her purse, one she’d read at least twenty times since receiving it at her store yesterday morning. She took out the envelope again and withdrew the cardstock to read what was written on it, although she’d already memorized every word.

They remained together with much love between them because they loved you, Abby. You were their treasure. In the end, nothing else matters.

The card was not signed, but the letterhead told her it was from Father Jim. Abby figured she would never learn exactly what information about her parents—or even about Thomas Zanger—the priest had possessed. She would have to figure out a way to live with that. As much as she didn’t condone Father Jim’s methods or some of his beliefs, something in his desire to preserve the memory of her parents for her had honor in it. Abby no longer believed he’d obstructed the investigation solely as a means to protect the image of his church.

So where does that leave me now?

Not back at the beginning. Abby felt that on a bone-deep level. She couldn’t return to who she’d been before she’d started having those dreams.

In her sight, two perfect men lay fast asleep in bed. Rodrigo on his stomach with the white sheet tangled around him, the brightness a sharp contrast against his beautiful tan skin. Braden was on his back with his arms and legs thrown wide, as naked and incredible as the way God sent him into this world. Abby’s heart ached with such love, admiration, and respect for both of these people that she sometimes thought it would burst inside her and visibly leak out of her pores.

As much as they had become the biggest part of her world, right now, Abby had somewhere to go. Something inside her needed exploring, and she couldn’t ignore it. As much as she wanted these two men at her side in absolutely everything, she knew she had no right to ask them to come with her. She treaded quietly to the walk-in closet, pulled out some clothes, and went out the other side to the bathroom to clean up.