Something To Dream On (39 page)

Jensen plops a kiss on my head. “Last round. Be right back.” He then bends down to tell Etta, “Watch her!”

Paul points his finger at me like the rock star he is. “Stay on that sofa!”

I wait until the cars drive off before I get up. This way they won’t hear Etta bark when she catches me in the act. I’m going to fix Jensen dinner. Since my accident, my knight hasn’t left my side, which means he has been sitting around and eating takeout food while grumbling about all of the chemicals in it. He can’t fool me though. He’s been pounding down fries like he fears he will never have a chance to eat them again.

With the exception of the four beers that have taken up permanent residence, the fridge that normally looks like Jensen’s personal farmer’s market is surprisingly barren. Those beers bring me relief every time this door is opened. They also serve as a constant reminder of how fortune has smiled on me. If Jensen ever throws them out, I’ll feel like I’ve lost a friend.

Shuffling to the front door is difficult, but when I sling my purse over my shoulder, fire shoots through my back. Etta doesn’t say a word. Instead she just stares at me. It’s her way of politely saying that I’m being foolish.

“Okay, sweetie. You and the sofa win this round.” Her tail wags as she follows behind. Her stride breaks. Her tail stiffens and she suddenly makes for the door with a bark of dislike. A peer through the peephole shows why—even though my past experience as an undead spy had me knowing before I looked.

Seeing Laura brings up so many conflicting emotions. For years she caused me pain. If what happened wasn’t a dream, she has it in her to be far more awful than I ever gave her credit for. It also means that she’s in a terrible state. I’ve always hated her. Now I have reason to despise her, but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t deserve freedom from the horrible things around her.

With a quick adjustment of my blouse and a rake of my fingers through my hair, I face my nemesis. Though I knew what to expect, my gut turns when I see the once vibrant girl who now looks like a skeleton that has been dragged through muck. “I heard what hap—” Her painted-on grin crashes when she sees a woman. Then her eyebrows rise in the center. After she clears her vision with a few blinks, she steps back. “Lizetta?”

I pretend that seeing her is a happy surprise. “Laura? Hey! What brings you here?”

“What are
you
doing here?”

It’s horrible of me, but this is going to bring me immense joy. “You know my fiancé? I can’t believe Jensen has never mentioned you.” Was that too cruel? I don’t want to be her doormat, but—

“Fiancé?”

My hand pops up to show the ring. As she looks at my hand, I look at hers. It grips the neck of a bottle through a paper bag. Hello, plastic bottle of tequila.

“What!” Her body droops at my news. “
You
are the girl he’s engaged to?
You?
”

I can understand her surprise, but did she have to use that belittling emphasis? It’s hard to remember that she’s not a tramp—she’s an abuse victim with an addiction and a world of other problems that make her desperate.

“You can’t be serious! You’re the girl who has him all up in knots and bettering himself?”

Her words bring back the pain from the years of verbal abuse I endured. Why is it so shocking that Jensen loves me? It may sound cold, but even a junkie that lives a life of horror has no right to belittle me, especially when she has no idea what this heart is capable of. How much other beauty does she miss each day because she lets herself be blind?

I smile to myself. It wasn’t long ago that I was blind, and I am so grateful for the inner vision I have found.

“Unbelievable!” Laura turns to storm off. She is so emaciated that she almost disappears before taking a step. My thoughts don’t come from jealousy or even the snarky desire to shove a sandwich down her throat; my heart aches for her. Her walk is awkward, almost limp-like. Her heels hit the ground like a newborn puppy that has a hard time discovering how his paws function. Unlike a puppy, her swagger is completely void of the pep that implies she’s happy to be alive. I remember that feeling. I experienced it almost every day as I walked home from school, emotionally destroyed because I had spent the day being her victim.

No one should feel like she does—so used that you want to die. No wonder why Jensen is torn. It’s impossible not to want to give her the help she needs, but if he tries to play savior, he may crumble.

Shit! I’ve still got nothing. All I can tell Larry is that Jensen left me for an obnoxious heifer that is too stupid to be mean to me! She should have fought me a million times over by now. Lord knows I’ve kicked her enough. What does it take to get her to fight back? Now that little wuss is engaged to my man. And happy! She just got out of the hospital and she looks fucking happy!

When was the last time I was happy?

I’ll find an angle. I have to.

CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE

Saturday, July 29

Pulling my car into the driveway of Good Samaritan breathed new life into me. I didn’t even bother to set my purse down. Instead, I came straight to the kennels in the back to visit my friends. Another level of relief hits when I see who is back here. “Hi, Sherlock.” He doesn’t remember me, because to him we have never met, but I sure remember him. “Hi, Smiddy. Hi, Frankenweenie.” I then wave to the poodle that nipped at me on this very day in a different lifetime. I can’t help but giggle when it pretends to ignore me.

Being surrounded by my furry friends is what makes me whole, but strolling through this place feels wrong. The single pieces of art hanging on the wall in each exam room are the only sources of emotional brightness. Would it be so wrong to dress it up a bit more? The sparsely padded chairs remind me of the ones my family slept in while watching over me. It is no wonder why it was hard for them to sleep.

On my desk, a beautiful bouquet of roses awaits. Ah, Jensen!

That can’t be. We left for work at the same time.

Griffin’s effeminate voice graces me from behind, causing me to jump. “Don't go getting your panties all wet over those.”

“Jeepers, Griffin! Are you trying to put me back in the hospital?”

“Oh, no way! You have no idea what hell I went through while you were gone. Remind me to quit before you leave for that honeymoon of yours. I am
not
taking the load here by myself ever again.” He leans onto the corner of his desk and crosses his arms, eyeing me as I stare at the roses. “I may have exquisite taste and have gone to a real florist instead of Safeway, but they are not all that fascinating. What's on your mind?”

“I was in the hospital way too long, and it gave me plenty of time to think.”

“You were just there for a night. You make it sound like weeks.”

Oh, yeah. It’s hard to keep reality straight. “Hey, how much time have you spent in a hospital bed?”

He waves me on. “Continue.”

“One of the things that crossed my mind was, why are hospitals always so drab? They dress up maternity wards because someone is coming into the world, but when you get anywhere else in there, it is like death all over the place. And there's never a comfortable spot to sit while you are freaking out over the health of the person you love. Why do we treat people that way? I swear, it is like hospitals try to kill you off as quickly as possible so they can shuttle the next person in.”

Griffin’s chin recedes. “Ooh, what got into you while you were out? I hear near-death experiences do weird things to people, but you just took an intense nap.”

Oh, if only he knew. “I used to have big dreams. It wasn't being a veterinarian that was important, it was doing something with meaning. Everyone needs a helping hand from time to time. What about the flea-infested cat who was tossed in a dumpster and now will swipe the hand of anyone who tries to help it? What about dogs who were raised to fight? Are they really hopeless? I want to change all that.” I rethink my words to fit my resolve. “No, I
will
change that. I will help abused animals who would else be discarded.”

I expect bestie to flameout and get all weird on me about losing my mind, but his straightening back shows I’ve got his attention. “I know you want to. I also know why you haven’t. Do you?”

Yeah, I do now. “I let someone convince me I was less of a person, and it started a downhill spiral of allowing myself to find excuse after excuse to not work for what I wanted. When I learned that I couldn't be a vet, I wallowed. What I should've done was revamp my goals. But it’s not too late. Jensen will be in school for a few more years while working. I can do it, too.”

“How is this business going to survive? You expect someone to hand you money for saving an animal they picked up off of the street?” He says it sarcastically, but he may be right.

“Some people have pets with issues. They can pay us. We’ll find a way to rehabilitate the rest. It just means studying up on non-profit businesses and charitable donations.” Doubt washes over his eyes. I cut him off before he can naysay. “Hey, the idea may need work, but I’m telling you, the answer is in there somewhere. I’m doing this! You with me?”

Griffin’s expression softens. He takes my hand, and I realize my appreciation for the touch of another will never be the same. “Hey, bestie, don't go getting so riled up. We've always had our hearts in the right places when it has come to taking care of these animals. If you're going to take a plunge, I'm there with you.” He looks to the Lord for strength over what he is about to tell me. “I’ll even go back to school, but you are doing the business part. You leave the behavioral part to me. I’ve seen you with poodles. Have mercy! There is one, intsy bintsy problem though. Where are we going to get enough seed money to persuade a bank to help us? Neither one of us has the last name, Rockefeller.”

True, but I’m long past letting doubt intimidate me. That Lizetta was squashed by a keyboard. “You leave the money woes to me. Screw your brain in tight because we are going back to school!”

My little, yellow notepad with the generous wedding budget my parents gave us holds my attention. We could have an awesome party for a fraction of this amount. My parents also wouldn’t have a qualm about me investing a chunk of this into my and Jensen’s futures.

If we are really going to cut back, how much of the guest list do we need to trim? I don’t need to invite everybody I know down to the mailman, just my immediate family and Griffin. “Hey,” I roll over in bed to face Jensen, and a twinge of pain shoots across my back. I hate that I still have to take it easy. “How big of a wedding do you want?”

Jensen shrugs. “I don't have anybody to invite.”

“No one?”

“Well, my mom, and then of course there are couple of people in my family that I should ask, but really, Mom is the only one I need there.”

It is sad that a man as amazing as Jensen doesn't have a guest list that could fill a stadium. It is also a relief not to hear Laura mentioned. Then again, unless she’s called him, he still has no idea that I know her. “So, we don't need to have an elaborate wedding?”

“Nope, I'm going along with whatever you want. If I had my way, we’d go to the park and let nature be our backdrop.”

“Really? The park?”

“Actually, there is a spot where I planted a tree in memory of Granddad. If you and I, Mom, Paul, your mom, Jimmy, and Griffin drove over there, and then had dinner where we had our first date, I’d be content.”

That settles it. No renting a big venue. No expensive caterer. No unwanted guests from our past. “Perfect! It’s settled.”

Jensen crosses his arms and sizes me up, just like Paul would do. It’s awesome. “Wait a minute. What happened to the big dreams you had of the perfect day and a dress fit for royalty?”

“Oh, I am still getting my dress! I nearly died while trying to get it, so I am not going to miss out.” Sweet Lord of all that will not change! A deadly neckline that plunges into beaded, French lace and is finished off with an epic train is mine!

“Yeah, but something weird is going on here.”

I take his hands. Jensen is about to see the real me for the first time, because it’s the first time I’ve seen it as well. “Every moment that I have with you is a dream come true. You have school to pay for, and I have visions for a future that I let myself think was unobtainable. It’s not impossible, it’s just not easy. This money can help us, and in doing that we will help others. You and I are a part of something greater than us. It is time we lived up to our full potentials and flew into a better life.”