Song of the Meadowlark (Intertwined Book 1) (15 page)

“Cora, I’ve invited the ladies from the Country Club over tonight. They’re so anxious to see you and to maybe find an eligible bachelor suitable for you.” Mom chopped vegetables and put them into the sizzling oil in the sauté pan.

“Mom! What are you talking about?” Cora jammed her coffee cup down onto the table and stared at Mom in disbelief.

“Cora, you’re not getting any younger. Clark’s gone, and it’s now time to redeem yourself.” She smiled at Cora.

“Redeem myself?”

“I mean, it’s time to move on, and there are some good gentlemen still left here in the city who are back from grad school and ready to settle down.”

“Mom, I don’t need anyone to find me a boyfriend—or a future husband, for that matter. Seriously! You’re unbelievable.”

Mom laid down the knife and swiveled to face Cora. “Well, what do you want me to do?”

“Give me a little space, Mom. I just got home, and you’re trying to plan every minute of my life out for me. I never said I was back here to stay. I’m not saying that I’m not, but it’s my decision. Maybe I want to travel for a while. I don’t know. But it’s my decision to make. I have to do what’s right for me. I have to do what God wants me to do. I’m not going to make another mistake.”

“Okay. Okay. I’ll leave you alone.” Mom threw her hands up in surrender.

Cora leaned on the bar overlooking the kitchen. “Mom, you and Dad have been great. I appreciate everything you’ve done for me. But I need to acclimate myself. I haven’t been under your roof for years. I’ve been married and then single and independent. I need some time.”

Mom stiffened. “I don’t know why you even came home if you weren’t ready to be with us.”

“Truthfully, I wanted to stay at the beach house for a few nights before coming home and had planned to do so, but you guys surprised me and picked me up at the airport.” She apologized for her truthfulness with her eyes.

“Then why don’t you go there? We certainly don’t want you here if you don’t want to be here.” Dad appeared in the kitchen doorway.

“Dad!”

At the beach house, Cora flipped through the channels on the television, stopping on each one no more than a few seconds. “Five hundred channels and there’s still nothing to watch.” She clicked the power button, turning off the big-screen television and tossed the remote onto the sofa. Closing her eyes, she rested her head back on the arm of the sofa. Her foot mimicked an earthquake that never stopped. She rolled her head around, hearing the popping and crackling in her neck.

Then she jumped up and grabbed her Bible off the coffee table. She walked to the patio door, pulled it open, and stepped into the healing, ocean air. She drew a deep breath. “Now, that’s more like it.”

Cora plopped into the chaise and opened her Bible. The glare of the pages made her eyes burn, so she pulled her new sunglasses off the top of her head and put them on. She smiled and started reading Proverbs.

“Mom? Dad? I’m back,” Cora announced two days later as she opened the front door and closed it behind her. But no one responded. She followed the smell of freshly brewed coffee to the kitchen. “Mmm.” She picked up a mug and poured herself a cup.

She peered out the back window. Mom stood in the garden pruning her roses again. She opened the sliding door and stepped out. “Hey, Mom.”

“Hello.” Ice formed on her lips as the words slid from them, despite the warm temperature.

“I’m back.”

“I see that you are.”

“I really enjoyed my couple of days at the beach.” She tried to catch Mom’s gaze, refusing to let her manipulate her with her silence.

“Good.” Mom never looked up from her roses.

Chapter 13

Cora took long walks on the virtually tourist-free beach and visited St. Andrews State Park and the county pier with Anne. At the jetty, huge ships dredged up sand and pumped it onto the beach to rebuild the shoreline after the spring storms. Cora’s heart felt like that sand…being dug up from the depths, certain feelings having been undisturbed for years.

She read her Bible and prayed more than ever, but she remained restless. Although Panama City was beautiful this time of year with the cool breezes and mild days of fall, she continued to think of Georgia and the fresh start there for her.

Who was she kidding? She couldn’t live in Georgia without being with the O’Reillys. And she wouldn’t go back to be with them since Rex never called her back nor had anyone else. Rex probably didn’t even tell them she’d called.

Cora could rest no more in her room on this rainy late September day. As she headed down the hall to talk to Mom and Dad, she studied the pictures on the wall. Only a few of her were framed and hanging there—nothing like the ones of Rex, Matt, and Clarice at the ranch. The only ones of her were those from beauty pageants and piano recitals. There were no markings on any of the door facings of her height changes throughout the years. The O’Reillys had marked Rex, Matt, Clarice, and now Susie.

“Hey.” Cora entered the sitting room. Outside the window the fall tropical storms brewed, much like her troubles brewed inside her.

“Hello.” Mom glanced her way.

“I need to talk to you.” Cora sat in the blue wing-backed chair.

“What is it?” Dad puffed his pipe.

“I’m not sure why, but I’m not happy here.” Cora’s voice shook.

“It’s about time you admit it. We’ve known it ever since you’ve been home.”

“Are we bothering you? Do you need to get your own place?”

“Do you need to stay at the beach house permanently?”

Cora formed her words slowly and carefully. “No, Dad. At first, I thought that was it. But it’s not living here at home that’s the problem. It’s living in Florida. It doesn’t feel the same. I truly want to be in Georgia.” She sat up straight and stretched her back. The tension never seemed to go away.

“What? Living on a ranch with who knows what kinds of people? Cowboys and ranch hands? Cow manure and tractors?” Mom let out a disgusted sigh. “I thought we raised you better than that.”

“We thought you were home to stay.”

Cora eyed Mom in disbelief at her shallowness and then Dad. “I never said that.”

“I was going to talk to you about investing your money and taking over the travel agency. That way, you’d be settled.” Cora opened her mouth to interrupt, but Dad continued, “I’ve been planning to retire for a long time so your mother and I could travel. How could you deny us that?”

Cora was quiet as the options, or the lack of them, ran through her head. The unwanted responsibility weighed heavily. Finally, she spoke. “I told you in the beginning I was only home for a visit. I think it’s time we get honest with each other. Me being here isn’t what you expected, and it isn’t what I thought it would be either. I never intended on moving back home. I wanted to come for a while to clear my head and to be with you both. Originally, I thought I’d go back to South Carolina.”

“Anywhere but here, huh?” Mom threw in snidely.

“Mom, I’m trying to open up here and share what’s going on in my head. Something is missing. I don’t know if the problem is between us or if it’s just me. But I’m not happy here.” Cora waited to see if they’d say anything.

They stared blankly at her and made no reaction.

Cora ran her finger over the tender scar from the accident on her forehead. “I don’t know if I belong permanently in Georgia or not, but I do know I want to be there now. Caring for Susie was remarkable for me when I was dealing with my feelings about Clark. The love of a little child is so special.” Cora shifted in her chair.

“Yes, it is, and you could feel that every day if you’d just let me find you a husband. You could have as many children as you’d like.” Mom crossed her arms across her chest and huffed.

“Mom! You’re not helping me want to be here.”

Mom blinked her eyes. “Go on.”

Cora cracked her knuckles. “There’s a problem—Susie’s father. I care for him a great deal. I think he cares for me too, but he’s bitter toward God. He’s a widower, and he’s having a hard time opening up to me. But I’m drawn to him anyway.”

“Like a moth to a flame,” Mom said. “Why are you always mixed up with worthless men?”

“You don’t know him. Don’t judge him.”

“Why do you always have to have a man in your life? Can you not just be Cora for a while?”

“Dad! I’ve been alone for over a year now. Besides, Mom’s been trying to match me with someone at the Country Club.”

Dad got up from his chair and stalked from the room.

“Wait! Stay and talk to me.”

“Cora, let him go. He can’t talk to you. He wants you to stay. He wants you to be his little girl…the little girl he never really had.” She looked away.

Cora stared. Mom was crying. “Mother, what is it?”

“There’s so much you don’t know.” Thunder clapped, and Mom jumped.

“What do you mean, Dad wants the little girl he never had? I am his little girl. I always was. Why is he so hard on me? He’s always been that way.” Cora knelt in front of Mom.

“He wanted you to be like him, but you grew up so fast and were gone from us before we knew what happened. We haven’t been a part of your life for so long. You’ve shut us out. We wanted a chance to have what we never had.”

“But Mother, the reason I left when I did is because you two drove me away. I didn’t want to leave. You couldn’t accept my love for Clark. You never let me make my own decisions. I always felt I was doing everything wrong. I know you guys were right about him, but still…” She sighed. “I never measured up to what you expected of me. Why?”

Mom let out a sigh that matched Cora’s sigh. Silence hung in the room like a storm system while Mom rubbed her hands together repeatedly. “For a long time now I have felt you needed to know something about your childhood, but your father insisted I not tell you. What I am going to say will hurt you deeply, but it will also explain to you a lot about your past. So please be patient with me.”

“What is it, Mom? Tell me.” Cora scooted her chair closer.

“Please, sit beside me on the couch.”

Cora moved beside her, never taking her eyes off Mom’s face.

“Please tell me. I have to know why I’ve felt so unworthy all of my life.”

“I don’t know where to begin, except the beginning.”

“Okay.”

“Years ago, when your father was first starting his business, he worked long hours. After we were married for a few years, we started trying to have a baby. But he was always tired and didn’t feel like—”

“I get what you mean, Mom.”

“We had not been successful after trying for quite some time, and I was so frustrated. I think maybe I was even a little crazy. You see, I had always wanted babies. You never think you’ll be unable to have them.”

“What happened?” Cora drank in the sadness in Mom’s blue eyes.

“Your father got tired of my constant crying and moping around the house, so he started spending even more time away. I hardly noticed. As long as he was there at bedtime try to make a baby, I was happy.”

“But you had me eventually, right? You and Dad survived the tough times. Everybody goes through times like that.”

“Yes, we did survive those times, but not unscathed.”

“What do you mean? And how does this apply to me?”

“Your father found another woman. A woman who didn’t cry all the time. A woman who would make him laugh. A woman who could make him happy. A woman who could make…him…a father.”

“What!” Cora jumped up from the couch. “What are you saying? Dad got this woman pregnant? I have a brother or sister somewhere out there?”

Mom sat in silence, focused on the floor.

“Wait, I still don’t see how this would change the way he feels about me. Does he love that child more than me?”

Mom’s gaze stayed pinned to the floor. “You do not have a brother or a sister.” Lightning flashed.

“I don’t understand. Did the woman lose the baby? Or did she abort?”

“No.” Mom got up and walked toward Cora. She placed her hands on Cora’s forearms. “You are that baby. You are your father’s child by this other woman.” Tears poured from Mom’s eyes.

Cora pulled away from Mom. Tears streamed down her own face. She was the result of an affair? She faced Mom again. “No! This cannot be true. How can this be? You’re not my mother?” She shook her head violently.

“I am. I raised you.”

“What about my birth mother? Where is she?” Cora sobbed.

“She died giving birth to you. They were only able to save you.” Mom closed the space between herself and Cora and reached her arms around her.

“Don’t.” Cora yanked away from her. “Why didn’t you ever tell me this? All my life I’ve known you didn’t love me like you should. I’ve always felt there was something holding us apart. I tricked myself into thinking it was Dad. But it was you. Why didn’t you tell me so I’d have understood why you despised me?”

“I couldn’t. I don’t. I wanted to. I—I knew it would devastate you. As it has. Your father didn’t want you to know. Not ever. He’d always been extra hard on you because he wanted me to love you. He thought if you were the best at everything, I’d forget about his immorality.” Mom collapsed on the couch.

Memories of piano and dance recitals, modeling shoots, and pageants flooded Cora’s mind. “I have to get out of here. I need some air.” Cora stormed from the room.

“It’s raining. You don’t need to be out in this weather.”

Cora ran to her room and grabbed her purse. When she sprinted back through the living room, Dad stood by the window and turned to face her. She paused only a moment, staring at the man who’d betrayed her all of her life. Then she hurried from the house, slamming the door.

“Cora!” Dad yelled.