Sookie 09 Dead and Gone (9 page)

He smiled. “This is good.”

I didn’t know if it was or not.

“You know we’re not really married, right?” I said. I had to say something, as much as I wanted to forget the whole thing had ever happened. “I know vamps and humans can get married now, but that wasn’t a ceremony I recognize, nor does the State of Louisiana.”

“I know that if I hadn’t done it, you’d be sitting in a little room in Nevada right now, listening to Felipe de Castro while he does business with humans.”

I hate it when my suspicions are correct. “But I saved him,” I said, trying not to whine. “I saved his life, and he promised I had his friendship. Which means his protection, I thought.”

“He wants to protect you right by his side now that he knows what you can do. He wants the leverage having you would give him over me.”

“Some gratitude. I should have let Sigebert kill him.” I closed my eyes. “Dammit, I just can’t come out ahead.”

“He can’t have you now,” Eric said. “We are wed.”

“But, Eric . . .” I thought of so many objections to this arrangement I couldn’t even begin to voice them. I had promised myself I wouldn’t start arguing about this tonight, but the issue was like the eight-hundred-pound gorilla. It simply couldn’t be ignored. “What if I meet someone else? What if you . . . Hey, what are the ground rules of being officially married? Just tell me.”

“You’re too upset and tired tonight for a rational conversation,” Eric said.

He shook his hair back over his shoulders, and a woman at the next table said,
“Oooooooooh
.
”

“Understand that he can’t touch you now, that no one can unless they petition me first. This is under penalty of final death. And this is where my ruthlessness will be of service to both of us.”

I took a deep breath. “Okay. You’re right. But this isn’t the end of the subject. I want to know everything about our new situation, and I want to know I can get out of this if I can’t stand it.”

His eyes looked as blue as a clear autumn sky, and as guileless. “You will know everything when you want to know,” he said.

“Hey, does the new king know about my great-grandfather?”

Eric’s face settled into lines of stone. “I can’t predict Felipe’s reaction if he finds out, my lover. Bill and I are the only ones who have that knowledge now. It has to stay that way.”

He reached over to take my hand again. I could feel each muscle, each bone, through the cool flesh. It was like holding hands with a statue, a very beautiful statue. Again, I felt oddly peaceful for a few minutes.

“I have to go, Eric,” I said, sorry but not sorry to be leaving. He leaned over to me and kissed me lightly on the lips. When I pushed back my chair, he rose to walk me to the door. I felt the wannabes hammer me with looks of envy all the way out of Fangtasia. Pam was at her station, and she looked at us with a chilly smile.

Lest we part on too lovey-dovey a note, I said, “Eric, when I’m back to being myself, I’m going to nail your ass for putting me in this position of being pledged to you.”

“Darling, you can nail my ass anytime,” he said charmingly, and turned to go back to his table.

Pam rolled her eyes. “You two,” she said.

“Hey, this isn’t any of
my
doing,” I said, which wasn’t entirely true. But it was a good exit line, and I took advantage of it to leave the bar.

The next morning, Andy Bellefleur called to give me the green
light to reopen.

By the time the crime scene tape was down, Sam had returned to Bon Temps. I was so glad to see my boss that my eyes got weepy. Managing Merlotte’s was a lot harder than I’d ever realized. There were decisions to make every day and a huge crowd of people who needed to be kept happy: the customers, the workers, the distributors, the deliverymen. Sam’s tax guy had called with questions I couldn’t answer. The utility bill was due in three days, and I didn’t have check-writing privileges. There was a lot of money that needed to be deposited into the bank. It was almost payroll time.

Though I felt like blurting out all these problems the minute Sam walked in the back door of the bar, I drew in a calming breath and asked about his mother.

After giving me a half hug, Sam had thrown himself into his creaking chair behind his desk. He swiveled to face me directly. He propped his feet up on the edge of the desk with an air of relief. “She’s talking, walking, and mending,” he said. “For the first time, we don’t have to make up a story to cover how fast she can heal. We took her home this morning, and she’s already trying to do stuff around the house. My brother and sister are asking her a million questions now that they’ve gotten used to the idea. They even seem kind of envious I’m the one who inherited the trait.”

I was tempted to ask about his stepfather’s legal situation, but Sam seemed awful anxious to get back into his normal routine. I waited a moment to see if he would bring it up. He didn’t. Instead, he asked about the utility bill, and with a sigh of relief I was able to refer him to the list of things that needed his attention. I’d left it on his desk in my neatest handwriting.

First on the list was the fact that I’d hired Tanya and Amelia to come in some evenings to make up for Arlene’s defection.

Sam looked sad. “Arlene’s worked for me since I bought the bar,” he said. “It’s going to be strange, her not being here. She’s been a pain in the butt in the past few months, but I figured she’d swing around to being her old self sooner or later. You think she’ll reconsider?”

“Maybe, now that you’re back,” I said, though I had severe doubts. “But she’s gotten to be so intolerant. I don’t think she can work for a shifter. I’m sorry, Sam.”

He shook his head. His dark mood was no big surprise, considering his mom’s situation and the not-completely-ecstatic reaction of the American populace to the weird side of the world.

It amazed me that, once upon a time, I hadn’t known, either. I hadn’t realized some of the people I knew were werewolves because I didn’t comprehend there was such a thing. You can misinterpret every mental cue you get if you don’t understand where it’s coming from. I’d always wondered why some people were so hard to read, why their brains gave me a different image from others. It simply hadn’t occurred to me it was because those brains belonged to people who literally turned into animals.

“You think business’ll slack off because I’m a shapeshifter or because of the murder?” Sam asked. Then he shook himself and said, “Sorry, Sook. I wasn’t thinking about Crystal being your in-law.”

“I wasn’t ever nuts about her, as you well know,” I said, as matter-of-factly as I could. “But I think it’s awful what was done to her, no matter what she was like.”

Sam nodded. I’d never seen his face so gloomy and serious. Sam was a creature of sunshine.

“Oh,” I said, getting up to leave, and then I stopped, shifting from foot to foot. I took a deep breath. “By the way, Eric and I are married now.” If I’d hoped I’d get to make my exit on a light note, my judgment was way, way off. Sam leaped to his feet and grabbed me by the shoulders.

“What have you done?” he asked. He was deadly serious.

“I haven’t done anything,” I said, startled by his vehemence. “It was Eric’s doing.” I told Sam about the knife.

“Didn’t you realize there was some significance to the knife?”

“I didn’t know it was a knife,” I said, beginning to feel pretty pissed but still maintaining my reasonable voice. “Bobby didn’t tell me. I guess he didn’t know himself, so I couldn’t very well pick it up from his brain.”

“Where was your sense? Sookie, that was an
idiotic
thing to do.”

This was not exactly the reaction I had anticipated from a man I’d been worried about, a man on whose behalf I’d been working my butt off for days. I gathered my hurt and pride around me like a jacket. “Then let me just take my
idiotic
self home, so you won’t have to put up with my idiocy any longer,” I said, my voice even enough to support a level. “I guess I’ll go home now that you’re back and I don’t have to be here
every single minute of my day
to make sure things are running okay.”

“I’m sorry,” he said, but it was too late. I was on my high horse, and I was riding it out of Merlotte’s.

I was out the back door before our heaviest drinker could have counted to five, and then I was in my car and on the way home. I was mad, and I was sad, and I suspected that Sam was right. That’s when you get the angriest, isn’t it? When you know you’ve done something stupid? Eric’s explanation hadn’t exactly erased my concerns.

I was scheduled to work that evening, so I had until then to get my act together. There was no question of my not showing up. Whether or not Sam and I were on the outs, I had to work.

I wasn’t ready to be at home, where I’d have to think about my own confused feelings.

Instead of going home, I turned and went to Tara’s Togs. I hadn’t seen a lot of my friend Tara since she’d eloped with JB du Rone. But my inner compass was pointing in her direction. To my relief, Tara was in the store alone. McKenna, her “helper,” was not a full-time employee. Tara came out of the back when the bell on the door rang. She looked a little surprised to see me at first, but then she smiled. Our friendship has had its ups and downs, but it looked like we were okay now. Great.

“What’s up?” Tara asked. She looked attractive and snug gly in a teal sweater. Tara is taller than I am, and real pretty, and a real good businesswoman.

“I’ve done a stupid thing, and I don’t know how I feel about it,” I said.

“Tell me,” she commanded, and we went to sit at the table where the wedding catalogs were kept. She shoved the box of Kleenex over to me. Tara knows when I’m going to cry.

So I told her the long story, beginning with the incident in Rhodes where I’d exchanged blood with Eric for what turned out to be one too many times. I told her about the weird bond we had as a result.

“Let me get this straight,” she said. “He offered to take your blood so an even worse vamp wouldn’t bite you?”

I nodded, dabbing at my eyes.

“Wow, such self-sacrifice.” Tara had had some bad experiences with vampires. I wasn’t surprised at her sarcastic summation.

“Believe me, Eric doing it was by far the lesser of two evils,” I assured her.

Suddenly, I realized
I’d be free now if Andre had taken my blood that night
. Andre had died at the bombing site. I considered that for a second and moved on. That hadn’t happened and I wasn’t free, but the chains I wore now were a lot prettier.

“So how are you feeling about Eric?” Tara asked.

“I don’t know,” I said. “There are things I almost love about him, and things about him that scare the hell out of me. And I really . . . you know . . .
want
him. But he pulls tricks for what
he
says is my own good. I believe he cares about me. But he cares about himself mostly.” I took a deep breath. “I’m sorry, I’m babbling.”

“This is why I married JB,” she said. “So I wouldn’t have to worry about shit like this.” She nodded, confirming her own good decision.

“Well, you’ve taken him, so I can’t do that,” I said. I tried to smile. Marriage to someone as simple as JB sounded really relaxing. But was marriage supposed to be like settling back in a La-Z-Boy?
At least spending time with Eric is never boring,
I thought. Sweet as he was, JB had a finite capacity for entertaining conversation.

Plus, Tara was always going to have to be in charge. Tara was no fool, and she’d never be blinded by love. Other things, maybe, but not love. I knew Tara clearly understood the rules of her marriage to JB, and she didn’t seem to mind. For her, being the navigator/captain was a comforting and empowering role. I definitely liked to be in charge of my own life—I didn’t want anyone owning me—but my concept of marriage was more in the nature of a democratic partnership.

“So, let me summarize,” Tara said in a good imitation of one of our high school teachers. “You and Eric have done the nasty in the past.”

I nodded. Boy howdy, had we.

“Now the whole vampire organization owes you for some service you performed. I don’t want to know what it was, and I don’t want to know why you did it.”

I nodded again.

“Also, Eric more or less owns a piece of you because of this blood-bond thing. Which he didn’t necessarily plan out in advance, to give him credit.”

“Yep.”

“And now he’s maneuvered you into the position of being his fiancée? His wife? But you didn’t know what you were doing.”

“Right.”

“And Sam called you idiotic because you obeyed Eric.”

I shrugged. “Yeah, he did.”

Tara had to help a customer then, but only for a couple of minutes. (Riki Cunningham wanted to pay on a prom dress she’d put on layaway for her daughter.) When Tara resumed her seat, she was ready to give me feedback. “Sookie, at least Eric does care about you some, and he’s never hurt you. You could’ve been smarter. I don’t know if you weren’t because of this bond thing you have with him or because you’re so gone on him that you don’t ask enough questions. Only you can figure that out. But it could be worse. No humans need to know about this knife thing. And Eric can’t be around during the day, so you’ll have Eric-free time to think. Also, he’s got his own business to run, so he’s not going to be following you around. And the new vampire execs have to leave you alone because they want to keep Eric happy. Not so bad, right?” She smiled at me, and after a second, I smiled back.

I began to perk up. “Thanks, Tara,” I said. “You think Sam will stop being mad?”

“I wouldn’t exactly expect him to apologize for saying you acted like an idiot,” Tara warned me. “A, it’s true, and B, he’s a man. He’s got that chromosome. But you two have always gotten along great, and he owes you for you taking care of the bar. So he’ll come around.”

I pitched my used Kleenex into the little trash can by the table. I smiled, though it probably wasn’t my best effort.

“Meanwhile,” Tara said, “I have some news for you, too.” She took a deep breath.

“What is it?” I asked, delighted that we were back on best-friend footing.

“I’m going to have a baby,” Tara said, and her face froze in a grimace.

Ah-oh.
Dangerous
footing. “You don’t look super-happy,” I said, cautiously.

“I hadn’t planned on having children at all,” she said. “Which was okay with JB.”

“So . . . ?”

“Well, even multiple birth control methods don’t always work,” Tara said, looking down at her hands, which were folded on top of a bridal magazine. “And I just can’t have it taken care of. It’s ours. So.”

“Might . . . might you come around to being glad about this?”

She tried to smile. “JB is really happy. It’s hard for him to keep it a secret. But I wanted to wait for the first three months to pass. You’re the first one I’ve told.”

“I swear,” I said, reaching over to pat her shoulder, “you’ll be a good mother.”

“You really think so?” She looked, and felt, terrified. Tara’s folks had been the kind of parents who occasionally get shot-gunned by their offspring. Tara’s abhorrence of violence had prevented her from taking that path, but I don’t think anyone would have been surprised if the older Thorntons had vanished one night. A few people would have applauded.

“Yeah, I really think so.” I meant it. I could
hear
, directly from her head, Tara’s determination to wipe out everything her own mother had done to her by being the best mother she could be to her own child. In Tara’s case, that meant she would be sober, gentle-handed, clean of speech, and full of praise.

“I’ll show up at every classroom open house and teacher conference,” she said, now in a voice that was almost frightening in its intensity. “I’ll bake brownies. My child will have new clothes. Her shoes will fit. She’ll get her shots, and she’ll get her braces. We’ll start a college fund next week. I’ll tell her I love her every damn day.”

If that wasn’t a great plan for being a good mother, I couldn’t imagine what a better one could be.

We hugged each other when I got up to leave.
This is the way it’s supposed to be,
I thought.

I went home, ate a belated lunch, and changed into my work clothes.

When the phone rang, I hoped it was Sam calling to smooth things over, but the voice on the other end was an older man’s and unfamiliar.

“Hello? Is Octavia Fant there, please?”

“No, sir, she’s out. May I take a message?”

“If you would.”

“Sure.” I’d answered the phone in the kitchen, so there was a pad and pencil handy.

“Please tell her Louis Chambers called. Here’s my number.” He gave it to me slowly and carefully, and I repeated it to make sure I’d put it down correctly. “Ask her to call me, please. I’ll be glad to take a collect call.”

“I’ll make sure she gets your message.”

“Thank you.”

Hmmm. I couldn’t read thoughts over the phone, which normally I considered a great relief. But I would have enjoyed learning a little more about Mr. Chambers.

When Amelia came home a little after five, Octavia was in the car. I gathered Octavia had been walking around downtown Bon Temps filling out job applications, while Amelia had put in an afternoon at the insurance agency. It was Amelia’s evening to cook, and though I had to leave for Merlotte’s in a few minutes, I enjoyed watching her leap into action, creating spaghetti sauce. I handed Octavia her message while Amelia was chopping onions and a bell pepper.