Sophie Kinsella's Shopaholic 5-Book Bundle (162 page)

“Need any help there?” Luke inquires as he watches me pick my way across. “Having trouble with your inferior pram?”

“I don’t plan to take the baby to any gravel pits,” I retort kindly. I reach the grass and accidentally-on-purpose bump my pram into Luke’s.

“Trouble with your steering?” He raises his eyebrows.

“Just testing your airbags,” I say airily. “They don’t seem to be working.”

“Very kind of you. Shall I test yours?” He bumps his pram into mine, and with a giggle I shove him back again. At the side fence I can see Stuart watching us in slight alarm.

“Any decisions yet?” he calls out.

“Oh yes,” Luke calls back, nodding. “We want three Warriors.”

“Shut up!” I hit Luke with the back of my hand and he starts to laugh.

“Make that four—” He breaks off as his mobile rings. “Hang on a sec.” He takes it out and lifts it to his ear. “Luke Brandon. Oh, hi.”

He lets go of the pram and turns away. Maybe I’ll have a go with the Warrior now. I take hold of the massive handles and give it an experimental push.

“You’re kidding,” I hear Luke saying sharply. I wheel the Warrior round till I’m facing him. His face is tight and pale, and he’s listening with an intent frown to whoever’s on the phone.
Is everything OK?
I mouth at him, but he immediately swivels away and takes several paces away from me.

“Right,” I can just hear him saying. “We have to…think about this.” He’s rumpling his hair as he walks along the stroller course, not even noticing the couple with the three-wheeler who have to dodge him.

Feeling slightly anxious, I start following him with the Warrior. What’s happened? Who’s that on the phone? I bump the wheels down some steps, and at last I catch up with him at the sandy beach section. As I draw near I feel a nervous flip. He’s standing still, clutching his phone, his face etched with tension.

“That’s not an option,” he keeps saying in the same low voice. “It’s not an option.” All of a sudden he notices me and his whole face jolts.

“Luke…”

“I’m talking, Becky.” He sounds rattled. “Could I have some privacy, please?” He strides off down the sand, and I gaze after him, feeling as though I’ve been punched in the face.

Privacy? From me?

My legs are trembling as I watch him striding away. What went wrong? One minute we were pushing prams and laughing and teasing each other and now…

Suddenly I’m aware of my own mobile ringing inside my bag. I have a sudden mad conviction it’s Luke, apologizing—but I can see him on the other side of the stroller course, still talking.

I pull out my phone and switch it on. “Hello?”

“Mrs. Brandon?” comes a crackly voice. “Dave Sharpness here.”

Oh, for God’s sake. Of all the times.

“At last!” I snap, taking out my worry on him. “Listen, I canceled you! What are you doing, still following my husband?”

“Mrs. Brandon.” Dave Sharpness chuckles. “If I had a penny for every woman who phones up to cancel the next day and then regrets it—”

“But I
did
want you to cancel!” I feel like hitting the phone in frustration. “My husband knows someone’s been following him! He saw one of your men!”

“Ah.” Dave Sharpness sounds taken aback. “Now, that should
not
have happened. I’ll speak to the operative concerned—”

“Call them all off! Call everybody off right this minute before my marriage gets ruined! And don’t phone me again!”

The phone is getting more and more crackly.

“I’m losing you, Mrs. Brandon,” I hear Dave Sharpness’s voice faintly. “My apologies. I’m on the road to Liverpool.”

“I said, stop the investigation!” I say, as loudly and clearly as I dare.

“What about our findings? That’s why I was ringing. Mrs. Brandon, I have a full report available for you….” His voice disappears into a sea of static.

“Findings?” I stare at the phone, my heart suddenly thumping. “What do you…Mr. Sharpness? Are you there?”

“…really think you should see the photographs…”

The crackle suddenly switches to a continuous tone. He’s gone.

I’m paralyzed, standing on the sand, one hand still clutching the Warrior. Photographs? He surely doesn’t mean—

“Becky.” Luke’s voice startles me so much that I jump, flipping my phone into the air. He bends down to pick it up from the sand, and hands it back. I can’t quite look at him as I take it with shaky hands and shove it in my pocket.

Photographs of what?

“Becky, I have to go.” Luke sounds as strained as I feel. “That was…Mel. Slight office emergency.”

“Fine.” I nod and start pushing the Warrior back to the beginning of the course. My eyes are fixed straight ahead. I feel numb. Photographs of what?

“Let’s get the Lulu Guinness pram,” says Luke as we reach the start. “I really don’t mind.”

“No. Get the Warrior.” I swallow, trying to press back the sudden lump springing up in my throat. “It doesn’t matter.”

All the fun and easyness has disappeared. I feel cold with apprehension. Dave Sharpness has got evidence of Luke doing…something. And I have no idea what.

FIFTEEN

I DON’T BOTHER with the sunglasses this time. Nor do I bother smiling at the receptionist. I sit bolt upright on the same brown foam chair, shredding a tissue to bits, thinking,
I can’t believe it.

I couldn’t do anything over the weekend. I had to wait until Luke went off to work this morning. I made sure he’d really gone (by looking out the window and then calling him twice in the car to make sure he hadn’t turned round) and then plucked up the courage to ring Dave Sharpness’s office. Even then, I practically did it in a whisper. I spoke to the receptionist, who refused to give me any details of the findings over the phone. So here I am, at eleven o’clock in the morning, in West Ruislip again.

The whole thing feels surreal. It was supposed to be
canceled
. They weren’t supposed to
find
anything.

“Mrs. Brandon.” I look up, feeling like a patient at a doctor’s office. There’s Dave Sharpness, sounding more sepulchral than ever. “Would you like to come through?”

As he ushers me into the office, he looks so pitying, I can’t bear it. Instantly I decide to put on a brave face. I’ll pretend I’m not bothered if Luke’s having an affair. I was only wanting to know out of idle curiosity. In fact, I’m
glad
he’s having an affair, because I wanted a divorce all along. Yes.

“So you found something,” I say nonchalantly as I take a seat. “Interesting.” I attempt a careless little smile.

“This is a difficult time for you, Mrs. Brandon.” Dave Sharpness leans heavily forward on his elbows.

“No it’s not!” I say overbrightly. “I really don’t care. Actually, I’ve got a boyfriend and we’re going to run away together to Monaco, so I’m absolutely fine about all of this.”

Dave Sharpness doesn’t look taken in.

“I think you do care.” His voice descends yet lower. “I think you care very much.” His bloodshot eyes are so mournful, I can’t hold out anymore.

“OK, I do care!” I sniff. “Just tell me, OK? Has he been seeing her?”

Dave Sharpness opens a manila folder and surveys the contents, shaking his head.

“This part of the job is never easy.” He sighs, shuffles the papers, then looks up. “Mrs. Brandon, your husband has been leading quite the double life.”

“Double life?” I gape at him.

“I’m afraid to say, he’s not the man you thought he was.”

How can Luke not be the man I thought he was? What’s he talking about?

“What do you mean?” I say, almost aggressively.

“Last Wednesday, one of my operatives trailed your husband from his place of work. He checked into a hotel under a false name. He ordered cocktails for several…women. Of…a certain type. If you know what I mean, Mrs. Brandon.”

I’m so gobsmacked, I can’t speak. Luke? Women of a certain type?

“My highly skilled operative followed up his alias.” Dave Sharpness gives me an impressive look. “He discovered that there has been trouble at that particular hotel in the past. There have been…regrettable incidents with women.” Dave Sharpness looks at his notes with a distasteful expression. “All of which have been hushed up and paid off. He’s clearly a powerful man, your husband. My operative further discovered several sexual harassment charges which were never pursued…a joint allegation of bullying against himself and a colleague, again hushed up….”

“Stop it!” I cry, unable to listen anymore. “You must have got your information wrong! You or your operative. My husband doesn’t drink cocktails with women of a certain type! He would never
bully
anyone! I know him!”

Dave Sharpness sighs. He leans back in his chair and rests his hands on his huge stomach.

“I feel for you, Mrs. Brandon, I really do. No wife wants to hear that her husband is less than perfect.”

“I’m not saying he’s
perfect,
but…”

“If you knew the number of deceivers out there.” He eyes me lugubriously. “And the wife is always the last to know.”

“You don’t understand!” I feel like slapping him. “This can’t be Luke. It just
can’t
be!”

“It’s hard to come to terms with the truth.” Dave Sharpness is inexorable. “It takes great courage.”

“Stop patronizing me!” I say furiously. “I do have courage. But I also
know
my husband isn’t a bully. Give me those notes!” I grab the folder from him, and a pile of shiny black-and-white photographs falls out onto the desk.

I stare at them in confusion. They’re all pictures of Iain Wheeler. Iain outside Brandon Communications. Iain Wheeler walking up the steps of a hotel.

“This isn’t my husband.” I look up. “This is
not
my husband.”

“Now we’re getting somewhere.” Dave Sharpness nods in satisfaction. “Your husband has two sides to his personality, as it were—”

“Shut up, you stupid man!” I shout, exasperated. “It’s Iain! You’ve followed the wrong person!”

“What?” Dave Sharpness sits up. “Literally the wrong person?”

“This is one of his clients. Iain Wheeler.”

Dave Sharpness grabs one of the prints and stares at it for a few seconds.

“This isn’t your husband?”

“No!” I suddenly spot a photo of Iain getting into his limo. I grab it and point at Luke, who is in the background on the other side of the car, barely in focus. “
That’s
Luke!
That’s
my husband.”

Dave Sharpness’s breathing is getting heavier as he looks from Luke’s blurry head to the photos of Iain, to his notes, and back to Luke.

“Lee! Get in here!” he shouts, suddenly sounding far less smooth-caring-professional and more pissed-off-South-London-geezer.

A few moments later, the door opens and a skinny guy of about seventeen pokes his head round the door, holding a Game Boy.

“Er…yeah?” he says.

This
is the highly skilled operative?

“Lee, I’ve had it with you.” Dave Sharpness bangs his hand furiously on the table. “This is the second time you’ve buggered up. You’ve only followed the wrong bloody man. This isn’t Luke Brandon.” He jabs at the pictures. “
This
is Luke Brandon!”

“Oh.” Lee rubs his nose, looking unconcerned. “Shit.”

“Yes, shit! Yes, I’ve a good mind to fire your bloody arse.” Dave Sharpness’s neck has turned bright pink. “How d’you get the wrong man?”

“Dunno!” says Lee defensively. “I got his picture out of the paper.” He reaches in the folder and pulls out a clipping from the
Times
.

I know this picture. It’s a candid shot of Luke and Iain chatting at an Arcodas press conference. “There, see?” says Lee. “It says, ‘Luke Brandon, right, confers with Iain Wheeler, left.’”

“They got the caption the wrong way round!” I practically spit at him. “There was an apology the next day! Didn’t you
check
it!”

Lee’s eyes have already drifted back to his Game Boy.

“Answer the lady!” bellows Dave Sharpness. “Lee, you’re a waste of bloody space!”

“Look, Dad, it was a mistake, all right?” whines Lee.

Dad?

This is the last time I ever get a private detective off the Internet.

“Mrs. Brandon…” Dave Sharpness is obviously trying to calm himself. “I can only apologize. We will of course restart the investigation at no extra charge to yourself, this time focusing on the correct personage—”

“No!” I cut him off. “Just stop, OK? I’ve had enough.”

I’m suddenly feeling shaky.
How
could I ever have hired someone to spy on Luke? What am I doing in this crappy place? Abruptly I stand up. “I’m going. Please don’t contact me ever again.”

“Of course.” Dave Sharpness hastily pushes his own chair back. “Lee, get out of the way! If I can just give you the other findings, Mrs. Brandon…”

“
Other
findings?” I turn on him, incredulous. “You really think I want to hear anything else you’ve got to say?”

“There was the matter of the eyebrows?” Dave Sharpness coughs delicately.

“Oh. Oh, right.” I come to a halt. I’d forgotten about that.

“It’s all in here.” Dave Sharpness takes the opportunity to press the manila folder into my arms. “Details of the therapist and the treatment, photographs, surveillance notes…”

I want to throw the folder right back in his face and stalk out.

Only…Jasmine
does
have really good eyebrows.

“I might have a look just at that bit,” I say at last, as stonily as I can.

“You’ll also find a few other pieces of information in there,” Dave Sharpness says, hurrying after me to the door, “that had been collated in regard to your husband’s case. Your friend Susan Cleath-Stuart, for example. Now, she’s a
very
rich young lady.”

I feel sick. He’s been checking out
Suze
?

“Apparently, her fortune has been estimated at—”

“Shut
up
!” I wheel round savagely. “I never want to see or hear from you again! And if any of your firm follows Luke or any of my friends, I’m calling the police.”

“Absolutely,” says Dave Sharpness, nodding as though this is a brilliant idea which he came up with. “Understood.”

I totter to the end of the street and hail a taxi. It chugs off and I sit clinging to the handstrap, unable to relax until we’re well out of West Ruislip. I can hardly bear to look at the manila folder sitting on my lap like a horrible guilty secret. Although now that I think about it, it’s probably
better
that I brought it away. I’m taking all this information and I’m putting it straight in the shredder. And then I’ll shred the shreds. I never want Luke to know what I did.

I can’t believe I even went down this road. Luke and I are married. We shouldn’t spy on each other. It’s practically in the marriage vows, “To love, to cherish, and never hire a private detective in West Ruislip.”

We should trust each other. We should
believe
each other. On impulse I take out my mobile and dial Luke’s number. “Hi, darling!” I say as soon as I get through. “It’s me.”

“Hi! Is everything—”

“Everything’s fine. I was just wondering.” I take a deep breath. “That phone call you took the other day, at the pram shop. You seemed a bit upset. Is everything all right?”

“Becky, I’m sorry about that.” He sounds truly remorseful. “I really am. I…lost it for a moment. There’s been a small problem here. But it’ll work itself out, I’m sure. Don’t worry.”

“Right.” I exhale. I hadn’t even realized I was holding my breath.

It’s work. That’s all it is. Luke always has little problems and blips that need sorting out, and sometimes he gets stressed. That’s what happens when you run an enormous company.

“I’ll see you later, sweetheart. All set for the big night out?”

It’s the college reunion tonight. I’d almost forgotten. “Can’t wait! Bye, Luke.”

I put my phone away and take a few deep breaths. The main thing is, Luke has no idea I even went near a private detective. And he’ll never find out.

As we reach the familiar terrain of West London I open up the folder and start leafing through the photos and surveillance notes. I might as well find out about Jasmine’s eyebrows before I get to shredding. I come across a blurry shot of Suze walking down High Street Kensington, and I close my eyes, feeling another wave of shame. I’ve made some terrible mistakes in my life, but this is the worst by a million zillion miles. How could I have exposed my best friend to some seedy private detective?

The next ten or so pictures are all of Venetia, and I pass over those quickly. I don’t want to see her. Then there’s a couple of Mel, Luke’s assistant, coming out of the office…and then…Oh my God, is that
Lulu
?

I stare at the print, bewildered. Then I remember mentioning her when I was making the list of women that Luke knows. I said that Luke didn’t get on with her, and Dave Sharpness nodded knowingly and said, “That’s often the smokescreen.” Stupid man. He obviously got the idea that Luke and Lulu were secretly having a torrid affair or something—

Hang on. I blink, and peer more carefully at the photograph. That can’t be…

She can’t be…

I clap a hand over my mouth, half shocked, half trying not to laugh. OK, I know hiring a private detective was a stupid thing to do. But this is
so
going to cheer Suze up.

I’m just stuffing all the prints and papers back into the folder when my mobile rings. “Yes?” I say cautiously.

“Becky, it’s Jasmine!” comes an animated voice. “Are you coming in, or what?”

I sit up in surprise. First of all, I didn’t think anyone would even notice I was late. And second, since when did Jasmine ever raise her voice above a bored, monosyllabic drawl?

“I’m on my way,” I say. “What’s up?”

“It’s your mate Danny Kovitz.”

I feel a grip of alarm. Please don’t say he’s lost interest. Please don’t say he’s pulled out.

“Is there…a problem?” I can hardly bear to say it.

“No way! He’s finished his design! He’s here with it now. And it’s amazing!”

Finally,
finally,
something is going well! I arrive at The Look and head straight up to the boardroom on the sixth floor, which is where everybody has assembled to see the design.

Jasmine meets me at the lift, her eyes sparkling.

“It’s so cool!” she says. “Apparently he was working all night to get it right. He says coming to Britain gave him exactly the final inspiration he needed. Everyone’s really excited. It’s going to be a sell-out! I’ve been texting my friends and they all want one.”

“Great!” I say in astonishment.

I don’t know what I’m more surprised by, Danny finishing his design so quickly or Jasmine coming to life.

“In here…” She opens the heavy pale-wood door, and I can hear Danny’s voice as we enter the boardroom. He’s sitting on the long table, holding forth to Eric, Brianna, and all the marketing and PR personnel.

“It was just that final concept I needed to crack,” he’s saying. “But once I got it…”

“It’s so different!” Brianna is saying. “It’s so
original
.”

“Becky!” Danny suddenly notices me. “Come and see the design! Carla, come over here.”

He beckons her over—and I gasp.

“You
what
?” My voice shoots out in horror before I can stop it.