Sophie's Dilemma (40 page)

‘‘Is this the best you can do?’’

His face tightened. ‘‘What are you asking?’’

‘‘First of all, I am not asking. I am telling you that I have no intention of selling the boardinghouse. Three times the amount you are offering would not be enough.’’ She placed the paper back in his hands. ‘‘And furthermore, spreading rumors about town was not a way to make a good impression. Good day.’’

When she strode into the dining room, Mrs. Sam and her two children were lined up, clapping silently, smiles as wide as their faces.

Fighting tears of fury, she blinked and started to grin. When she heard the front door slam, she hid a giggle behind her handkerchief.

‘‘Well done.’’ Garth strolled in behind her. ‘‘I wanted to make sure he left before I had to throw him out.’’

Sophie turned to see his expression of satisfaction.

‘‘Remind me to never get on your bad side. You about flayed the skin from his bones.’’

‘‘Dat she do.’’ Mrs. Sam stepped forward. ‘‘I ’bout sent Lemuel here for reinforcements, but you done fine. Dat man don’t deserve even staying for dinner, though I make the best chicken and dumplin’s anywhere. He was sniffin’ like a hound on a hunt.’’

The bell jangled over the front door, and Garth stepped back to see who had come in.

Miss Christopherson greeted him as she entered the dining room.

‘‘What a rude man. He nearly knocked me off the steps.’’

‘‘Did he hurt you?’’ Sophie took a step toward her.

‘‘No.’’ She brushed off her upper arm. ‘‘But if I never see him again, it will be too soon. And to think he came into my shop the other day.’’

‘‘He did?’’ Sophie frowned. ‘‘And did he tell you he was buying my boardinghouse?’’

‘‘No, he said he was looking for a gift.’’

‘‘And did he buy something?’’

‘‘No. He fumbled around and then left, saying he’d come see me again when he returned.’’

Others were coming into the dining room, so Sophie signaled her help to begin serving. The next time she turned around, Garth was not sitting at his usual table. He wasn’t in the dining room at all.

Later she found a note on the table in her quarters.

Congratulations on your skillful handling of that situation. Thank you for helping me choose a house. I’ve turned my order in and am catching the afternoon train to Minneapolis. Waiting even another day didn’t make much sense. We have something more to discuss when I return.

Yours sincerely,

Garth Wiste

Sophie reread the note, especially the part,
Waiting another day
didn’t make much sense
. It didn’t make sense for her either. She knew what she had to do. Taking her shawl off the coatrack and pinning her hat in place, she headed for the kitchen. While she figured she could drive the team, she knew her family would not approve. She would borrow Thorliff ’s team and buggy, and Lemuel would drive.

They had to go now before she lost her courage.

On the way she almost asked Lemuel to turn back three times, maybe more. She tried counting fence posts to override her fear, but they blurred with her tears. Where had the spunk she was known for gone?
Oh, God, let this work. Please give me the right words and Pa the
ears to hear
. Would he be out in the fields? She searched the land as they neared her home. No one was out with either team or tractor. Was it too wet to be out there yet, or was something wrong?

‘‘I wait here,’’ Lemuel said as he handed her down from the buggy seat.

‘‘No, you come inside for a cup of coffee.’’

He shook his head and looked out across the fields.

Sophie looked toward the machine shed to see if her father was there. She didn’t see him, nor did she hear him working on the machinery. Not in the field, not in the machine shed—where was he?

Mor opened the door. ‘‘Sophie! How wonderful to see you. Come in, come in.’’

Better get this over with. ‘‘Where’s Far?’’

‘‘Over at Haakan’s. They are shearing sheep.’’

Now what should she do? ‘‘I have to talk to him.’’

‘‘Then go on over. You want me to come with?’’

‘‘No, I want you to pray that . . . that all goes well.’’ She turned back to the buggy. ‘‘Let’s go.’’
Before I lose my courage entirely
. All she could think as the buggy wheels turned, carrying her back to Haakan’s barn, was to keep on going and return to the boardinghouse. She could come on this errand later. But something wouldn’t let her do that, so they turned up the lane she’d walked so many times through the years.

She could hear the sheep bleating before they neared the barn.

She waited for Lemuel to help her down. All she needed to do was slip on the step or something. Then he’d really think she was brainless, and careless too. She walked through the open door and followed the bleating through the barn to a corral behind where Lars was just letting a sheared sheep run back to the flock. Those waiting to be sheared milled around in a separate pen.

‘‘Hey, look who’s here.’’ Andrew waved to her before grabbing another fluffy sheep.

Sophie smiled and returned his wave. She nodded at Haakan’s greeting and looked at her father. ‘‘Far, can I talk with you, please?’’ The words had to be forced from her throat. She welded her shaking hands together.

‘‘Now?’’ He motioned to the waiting sheep.

‘‘It-it won’t take but a minute.’’ The look on his face did not bode well.

‘‘Ja, I guess so.’’ He set his clippers on a box and wiped the sweat off his face with his rolled-back sleeve. When he stopped at her side, he looked down with a frown. ‘‘Couldn’t this wait until later?’’

‘‘I-I might never have the courage to try again.’’ She peered into his eyes, gray like Grace’s. ‘‘Please, Far.’’

He nodded and motioned to the shady side of the barn. The two walked the short distance in silence. When she stopped, he crossed his arms and waited.

Sophie shot another prayer heavenward and cleared her throat. ‘‘I know that I disobeyed you and caused great hurt to you all when I ran off with Hamre, and I have come to plead for your forgiveness.’’ The words tumbled over each other once she started. ‘‘Please. I am so sorry, and I beg you to forgive me.’’

He stood motionless, his arms still clamped tight. ‘‘You’ve already asked for your mor’s and Grace’s?’’

She nodded.

‘‘Why did you wait so long to talk with me?’’

Sophie rolled her lips together to try to keep from crying. ‘‘Because I was afraid.’’

‘‘Afraid of what?’’

‘‘That you would say no. I couldn’t bear that.’’

‘‘Ah, Sophie, have I ever not forgiven you?’’

‘‘No, but I’d never done such a thing before.’’

‘‘I was beginning to wonder if you’d ever come to me.’’ He opened his arms and gathered her to his chest. ‘‘You, daughter, are forgiven.’’ He held her while she cried into his sweaty shirt.

When she leaned back to dry her eyes, she pulled a piece of fleece from the side of her wet face. She sniffed through a wavering smile. ‘‘Guess I’m like the one the shepherd came to find. I’ve even got damp wool to prove it.’’ She held up the bit between two fingers. ‘‘Thank you. I’m sorry I waited so long.’’

‘‘Let this be a lesson to you, you know?’’ His hands clasped warm on her upper arms. ‘‘Waiting to ask for forgiveness just increases the fear and the pain.’’ His face sobered. ‘‘I should have come to you like our Father does. I’m sorry too.’’

Sophie locked her arm through his. ‘‘I have so much to talk over with you. Could you and Mor come to supper at the boardinghouse so we can talk? I really need your advice.’’

‘‘Ja, we will. How about tomorrow night? We’ll be done shearing by then.’’

‘‘I’ll be waiting.’’ She reached up and kissed his cheek. ‘‘Whew, you sure do smell like sheep.’’

Garth had been right. Waiting was not a pleasant situation. But now that Pa had forgiven her, she had one less wait to do. Why couldn’t she have gone sooner to him?

She had nearly two months to wait until the baby came, and she needed some new clothes soon. Her others couldn’t be let out any more. It seemed like she went to sleep one night, and the next day all of her skirts were six inches too small. Her aprons no longer could disguise her expansion either, so she took to wearing one of Mrs. Sam’s.

‘‘What da matter with you, child?’’ Mrs. Sam asked her several days later.

‘‘Everything is too tight. I’ve let out all the seams, and I have no time to sew. Not that I’m very good at it anyway.’’

‘‘Ask Grace. She help you.’’

‘‘I don’t think so. She’s busy getting ready for graduation. Mor is too.’’
And besides clothes for me, I need things for the baby
. She thought of the check she had tucked away in her top drawer. She knew she should put that in the bank, but somehow if she did, it seemed she was severing her last tie with Hamre.

Silly, the baby will always be part of him,
she chided herself. But if she spent some of the money, it would feel like stealing. Hamre had worked so hard for the money, and now his dreams were gone. And yet when she had told Far and Mor how she felt, they both said that the money truly was hers, and in honor of Hamre she should use it wisely. Far also reminded her that she could use money from the boardinghouse for her own needs. She’d told them that felt like stealing too, but they’d convinced her she’d earned her money at the boardinghouse. However, there was one more problem she hadn’t mentioned. Well, two actually. Would that be dilemmas with an
s
? Or would it be two dilemma, like sheep? One sheep, two sheep. Somehow today she couldn’t see the humor in playing with words.

She sniffed and made her way back to her room. Lying down on the bed, she allowed the tears to flow. Some days were just like that, and it didn’t help that it was raining outside too.

And on top of everything she’d not heard a word from Garth since he’d gone to Minneapolis. She missed their nightly chats. That’s all she could think about. What if he didn’t come back?What if he met someone there?

She tried to roll over, but her belly got in the way. Maybe someone slender and lovely and wanting to be the mother to his two children? That thought sat her straight up. What difference did it make to her? Having a wife again would be a good thing for him. After all, he was just her friend. Someone she liked to talk with and share memories with, someone who understood what it was like to lose the one he loved.

She wiped her eyes and nose and made her way to her chair. But looking out at raindrops pelting the street made her feel like crying even more. Waiting.
I never have cared for waiting
.

34

M
AY GREW HOTTER.

Sophie grew wider.

‘‘All women don’t get this big so soon, do they?’’ Sophie let Elizabeth help her sit upright again after an examination in the doctor’s office. ‘‘I don’t walk; I waddle.’’

‘‘I see that. Let me listen again.’’ She put her stethoscope to Sophie’s mound, moving it around, listening carefully. ‘‘I can’t be sure, but I have a feeling there might be two in there. If so, the hearts are beating so closely, I just can’t be sure.’’

‘‘Twins? Two babies?’’ Sophie laid both hands over her belly and stared down where one foot nudged against her hand.

‘‘Well, it seems to run in the family.’’

‘‘Do all twins have twins?’’

‘‘No, but the odds are higher, and you are getting pretty big. I’ll check you again in a week or so. Maybe we’ll know more then.’’ She helped Sophie to step down from the table and stand upright.

‘‘Two babies. I-I . . .’’
How would I take care of two babies and run
the boardinghouse? Maybe I should sell it after all
. ‘‘How am I going to manage?’’

‘‘I’d talk with your mother and ask her how they managed. And we’ll have to find you some help, that’s all. Often twins come early. You will need to rest more. Lie down every afternoon at a minimum. Grace and Astrid will both be out of school. I’m sure they will help you.’’

‘‘Twins.’’ Sophie kneaded her back with her fists. And Garth wasn’t even here so she could tell him.

‘‘If you notice your ankles swelling in the heat, get off your feet. You can lie on the bed and put your feet up on pillows.’’

Sophie stared at her. ‘‘You mean all this, don’t you?’’

Elizabeth assumed her most serious doctor face. ‘‘Yes, I do. If I need to, I will put you to bed here where we can help you.’’ She rolled her lips in a fought-off smile. ‘‘I know what I’ll do. I’ll tell your mother, Ingeborg, and Mrs. Sam.’’ At Sophie’s moan, she turned serious again. ‘‘The choice is yours, Sophie. Do you want the babies to live or not?’’

Sophie sucked in a deep breath. ‘‘You mean my baby or babies could die if I don’t rest?’’ Elizabeth nodded.

Sophie cupped her big belly with both hands. ‘‘Whoever you are in there, I will do everything I can to make sure you live.’’ She shuddered. ‘‘Even go to bed if I have to.’’

When she dragged herself back into the boardinghouse, she headed to the kitchen.

‘‘So what de doctor say?’’ Mrs. Sam asked.

Sophie sank down on a chair. How could walking those two blocks make her feel as if she’d run clear out to her mother’s house and back? She and Grace used to run home from school, and while they’d be panting when they reached the house, in a minute and after a drink of water they would be fine.