Sophie's Voice (Sex and the Season Book 4) (11 page)

She couldn't even form the words in her mind. Ally would be fine. She had to be.

Maureen started to fuss a bit, and Sophie rocked her gently. “It's all right, baby. Your mama will be with you soon.”

Sophie nearly jumped out of her shoes when a knock pounded on the door.

“Yes, come in!” Evan yelled, his tone laced with anger and fear.

The door opened, and Bertram stepped in. “My lords and ladies, the doctor has news.”

S
ophie's nerves jumped
, and she nearly forgot to breathe. Millicent rushed toward her and took baby Maureen. Sophie looked to Evan, who had paled even further than she thought possible.

“Is Alexandra all right?” he asked.

“I'm afraid I don't have that information, my lord,” Bertram said. “Mr. Graves sent me up to tell you all to come down with haste. The doctor is waiting for you in the library to discuss her condition.”

Sophie didn't know whether to run out of the room and down the stairs or walk slowly. Her mind was such a jumble. How could she be so happy about the babies and so sad and frightened about Ally at the same time? Emotion gripped her like a vise. Fear surged through her veins, cold as ice. She turned to Evan. Ally was his wife now, and he should take the lead.

Evan handed the other baby to Millicent as well. “Very well. Thank you, Bertram.”

“We've got you, son,” the earl said.

Somberly, they all marched down the stairs into the library.

Dr. Michael Blake stood next to a bookcase, his clothing soiled with Ally's blood. Sophie's heart sank.

“My lord,” Dr. Blake said to Evan, “perhaps we should speak alone.”

“No,” Evan said. “I would like my parents and my sister-in-law with me. They love Alexandra as much as I do.”

Thank God. Sophie wasn't sure she what she would have done if she had been ushered from the room.

“Very well,” the doctor said. “Lady Alexandra has lost a lot of blood.”

Evan shot his eyebrows up. “She's all right, then?”

The doctor nodded.

Sophie let out a sigh of relief. “May we see her, Doctor?” she asked.

Dr. Blake shook his head. “Only Lord Evan at this time,” he said. “The next few days will be critical. She has lost a lot of blood, but she is a young and healthy woman.”

“Whatever you need, Doctor. Whatever you must do, do it,” Evan said. “I need my wife, and these babies need their mother.”

And I need Ally
. But Sophie didn't voice the words. Now was not the time for her to be selfish.

“There is every reason to believe she will recover,” the doctor said. “As I said, she is young and strong, and she has a will of steel.”

Oh, the doctor had no idea. Sophie couldn't help a small smile.

“However,” Blake said, “there is something else.”

Evan visibly flinched. “What is it?”

The doctor cleared his throat. “She had lost so much blood by the time I got here, I had to stop it as quickly as I could, and there was only one way to do that.”

Sophie's heart pounded against her sternum as if a herd of antelope were trampling inside her.

“Lord, what did you do to her?” Evan massaged his temples.

“I'm afraid I had to take her womb.”

S
ophie sat in the nursery
, rocking baby Maureen. Maureen had just finished a bottle and was dozing. Baby no-name had been fed earlier and was sleeping in her bassinet. Such good babies, not fussy at all. Of course, they were both still exhausted from the birth. Fussiness would come later.

They were both so perfect, and they were the only children Ally would ever have. But at least Ally was alive, although still unconscious. Dr. Blake, Evan, and the earl had managed to move her up to her suite of rooms, where she could rest comfortably in her own bed. The expensive Oriental rug in the parlor had been ruined, but no one cared. All thoughts were on Ally.

A knock on the door startled Sophie. She did not want visitors right now, but it might be news of Ally. “Yes, do come in, please.”

Bertram stood in the doorway. “You have a visitor, Lady Sophie. Mr. Zachary Newland has come to call.”

Zach. Although Sophie had cleaned up a bit since the birth, she was certainly in no condition to receive callers. “Please give him my regrets, Bertram. I do not wish to see anyone at the moment. I'm sure he will understand.”

Bertram nodded. “As you wish, my lady.”

Sophie bent back to baby Maureen. How nice for Zach to come by, but he was no doubt looking for another rendezvous in the alcove. Sophie didn't have it in her at the moment.

But perhaps someone to talk to… Yes, she did want to see Zach after all. She placed Maureen in her bassinet and ran to the door. Bertram was just making his way to the stairwell at the end of the hall.

“Bertram,” she called, “I've changed my mind. I would like to see Mr. Newland. Please have him wait for me in the small parlor.” The good Lord himself only knew when the main parlor would be presentable again.

Bertram nodded and continued descending the stairs.

Sophie left the babies in Millicent's care. Because Ally had delivered so early, she and Evan had not yet hired a baby nurse. Right now, Haley and Millicent were caring for the babies.

Sophie went to her own chamber to check her appearance. The looking glass did not do her any favors. Her hair was wilted and looked plastered to her head, and her complexion was wan and pale. She bit her lips and pinched her cheeks, but it didn't help much. She couldn't really bring herself to care what she looked like at the moment, even if she was going to see Zach. If he didn't understand what she had been through today, and if he was only interested in her appearance, perhaps he wasn't a man she wanted to be spending time with.

Sophie walked down the hallway and descended the staircase, making her way to the smaller parlor. Zach stood, his back to her, looking as regal as ever in one of his fine tailored suits, his unfashionably long auburn tresses curling around his collar.

She swallowed. “Good afternoon, Mr. Newland.”

Zach turned, his expression grave. “Sophie, thank you for seeing me. I came by hoping to take tea with you, but your butler told me what happened with Lady Alexandra.”

Sophie nodded and gulped down a lump in her throat. “I don't know what to feel. I have two new beautiful nieces, and that's a wonderful thing. But my sister nearly lost her life and may still, and she'll never have another child.”

Zach strode toward her and took her hand, lifting it to his lips and kissing it. “I know. It must be very difficult to know exactly what to feel right now. How is your sister doing?”

Sophie walked to a chair and sat, gesturing for Zach to join her in the chair across from her. “She seems to be stable, according to the doctor, and he is optimistic that she will make it. But she did lose a lot of blood. She's resting in her room now, and Evan is with her.”

Zach sat in the chair Sophie motioned to. “Is there anything I can do for you? I know rehearsals are supposed to begin tomorrow, but if you're not feeling up to it, I completely understand.”

“Yes, perhaps you should give the part to Miss Lloyd. I'm not sure I could do it justice in my current condition.”

“Miss Lloyd is no longer with the company,” Zach said. “But if you prefer, I will choose another soprano. Of course, none of them can hold a candle to you.”

Sophie sighed. She had made a commitment to Zach and to the theatre. She could do nothing for Ally right now, at least not until she woke up. She let out a small laugh as she imagined what Ally would say to her if she knew Sophie was thinking about giving up the role.

“You know, I think I will be at rehearsal tomorrow after all. If I backed out of this, my sister would haunt me, telling me I should have done this.”

Zach smiled. “If you're sure, Sophie. I would truly love to have you in this production, but I don't have to tell you that. You know it already.”

Sophie nodded. “Right now, Ally is my first priority. And what Ally would tell me is to continue with the role, so that is what I will do. For her.”

“I am happy to hear that. Truly. Would you care to take a short walk with me? Some fresh air might do you good.”

A walk sounded tempting, as long as they didn't end up in the alcove again. She was not ready for that right now. Plus, she wanted to stay close in case Ally woke up. But would Zach be after a rendezvous?

As if reading her mind, he said, “And I am talking solely about a walk, sweet. I know you're not in any condition for…other adventures.”

Sophie gazed into Zach's brown eyes. He was a good man, a special man. Not to mention an extremely talented and handsome man. He had shown her some amazing phenomena. She would always hold him close in her esteem for that. Even in her current condition, when she looked at him, her heart jumped. He invaded her thoughts day and night, and even now, with Ally and the babies first and foremost on her mind, she found herself thinking of Zach.

Was it possible she was falling in love with him? She'd never been in love. She'd resigned herself to spinsterhood long ago, but here was a man who didn't see her as a timid lady of the peerage, a wallflower. Zach was interested in her voice and grooming her to be a top-notch performer. And while he may not be in love with her, he certainly seemed to be attracted to her in a way no man had ever been.

Her cheeks were burning as she let out a deep breath. “Thank you for being so understanding, Zach. I think I would enjoy a short walk.”

Zach smiled, his white teeth glowing. “I'm glad. We shan't go far. But it's a sunny day, and I would like for you to enjoy it with me.”

Zach offered his arm, and Sophie took it. Together they left the parlor, walked through the foyer, and out the front door.

“I don't know much about your sister, Sophie,” Zach said, “but from what I can tell, she is an incredibly strong woman. If anyone can get through this, she can.”

Sophie nodded. “Yes, she is strong. She is the strongest person I know, except for maybe my mother. They've both been through so much.”

“I'm sorry to hear that,” Zach said. “Would you like to talk about it?”

Sophie shook her head. “It's not something we talk about.”

Zach cleared his throat. “I understand. But if you ever do want to talk about it, please know that I am here and am always willing to lend an ear.”

“Thank you.” She didn't know what else to say.

“Tell me about your two new nieces. I understand you were present for their birth.”

“Yes, it was the most incredible thing I've ever seen. We had no idea Ally was having twins, so it was a complete surprise. She went into labor quickly, and the babies were actually delivered by one of our maids, Elspeth. The first one is named Maureen Iris, after both Evan's mother and Ally's and mine. The second one doesn't have a name yet. Evan is waiting until Ally wakes up to discuss it with her. Right now, she's baby no-name.” Sophie sighed. “If only Ally would wake up. She lost so much blood, Zach. I nearly emptied my stomach, watching it happen.”

“Well, she has the best doctor money can buy. Dr. Michael Blake is the finest in Bath.”

Sophie nodded. Dr. Blake had saved Lily's womb after a bad fall over year ago. He hadn't been able to save Ally's, but he probably could have if he'd gotten there sooner. Sophie hoped he had at least saved her life.

She stayed quiet for a while, simply walking, enjoying the green surroundings and Zach's company. When they came to a large boulder, Zach gestured for her to sit.

“There's something I've been thinking about, Sophie.” He took one of her hands and held it in his.

She looked up into his beautiful eyes, dazzling in the late-afternoon dim sunlight. “And what is that?”

“I find that…I'm having feelings for you that I don't think I've ever had for any other woman.” He shook his head. “That didn't come out right at all. I am feeling very fond of you, Sophie. I've never actually courted a woman before, but I would like your permission to ask your stepfather if I can formally court you.”

Sophie dropped her jaw open. Had she heard him right? All those liberties she had allowed him, and he still wanted to court her? Perhaps Ally'd had the right of it along. Holding back liberties had gotten her nowhere with Van Arden or anyone else. On the other hand, she was certain many women had allowed Zach many liberties, yet he hadn't asked to court any of them. Was it possible he actually had feelings for her? Feelings that went beyond his love of her voice? His enjoyment of her company?

“Aren't you going to say anything? Surely I haven't offended you, have I?”

“Of course not. I'm flattered. I truly am. I just never thought…” Deep breath. “I mean, you and I have already… And please, please don't think I've ever done that with any other man, because I haven't.”

He smiled. “I believe you. I know you haven't been with any other man.”

“But you've been with many other women, haven't you?”

He smiled, a glint in his eye. “I will not lie to you, Sophie. I've been with many women in my life. But never have I asked to court any of them.”

Sophie let out a sigh. “I just never thought…”

Zach let go of her hand. “I understand. You're not interested.”

Sophie shook her head. “No, that's not what I mean. I
am
interested. I just… I'm of an age… And I had pretty much resigned myself to… Oh, this is embarrassing.”

Zach took her hand once more, rubbing his thumb lightly over her knuckles, making her shiver.

“You needn't be embarrassed with me, Sophie. I like you very much, and I think these feelings I'm having might blossom into something more. You're a beautiful woman, so much lovelier than you believe. Will you allow me to court you?”

Sophie quivered, her whole body turning to marmalade. Why she was so nervous, she couldn't say. She had already been naked in front of this man, had allowed him to spank her bare bottom. “Yes, Zach, I would be honored to have you court me.”

She smiled. Perhaps this would work out. Perhaps babies as angelic as little Maureen and her sister were in Sophie's future after all. Of course, courtship didn't automatically mean marriage. And Sophie had been through so much. Could she be an adequate wife and mother? She didn't have Ally's strength.