Sought...Book 3 in the Brides of the Kindred series (45 page)

“Obviously,” Aunt Abby agreed. “Oh, and you
can expect a visit from Detective Rast. He’s going to be coming up
soon to see what other information he can get.”

“Of course, he’s welcome to come.” Sophie
nodded eagerly.

“I’ll talk to you later. If you get any more
information about Lauren or her whereabouts, I’m always available.”
Aunt Abby nodded once more and was gone.

“Whew.” Sophie put a hand to her head. “That
wasn’t so good. I guess we should have told her in the first
place.”

Liv frowned. “We agreed not to for her own
good. Though I guess I can understand how you’d want to know any
information you could about your child.” She cupped her still-flat
belly protectively.

The maternal gesture caught Kat unawares and
she nearly started crying again.
I’ll never get to meet Liv’s
little boy,
she realized suddenly.
Never get to hear him
call me ‘Aunt Kat’ or have any babies of my own. Oh God…

A knock on the viewing room door interrupted
her morbid thoughts. She looked up to see Deep standing there, his
broad shoulders slumped wearily.

“Yes, what is it?” Olivia asked him at the
same time Sophie chirped,

“Did you find it? Did you find the
cure?”

“Forgive me,” he said heavily. “But could I
please speak to Kat alone?”

Liv and Sophie exchanged glances that held a
world of silent communication. They nodded at the same time. “Of
course,” Liv said quietly. “We’ll be outside in the hallway if you
need us.” They stepped out together, the door
whooshing
shut
behind them.

“Did you find anything? What did Mother
L’rin say?” Kat tried not to sound too eager but she couldn’t help
herself. Surely the wise little healer would be able to help her.
Surely…but Deep was shaking his head.

“I’m sorry, Kat but she says there’s nothing
she can do.”

“Nothing? Nothing at all?” Kat could
scarcely believe it. “No magic plants or herbs. No spells?
Just…
nothing?”

“Forgive me.” Deep bowed his head. “I have
failed you in the worst possible way.”

“No.” Kat shook her head, trying to keep
back the wave of despair that was threatening to drown her. “No,
it’s not your fault.”

“It
is
my fault,” he said forcefully,
looking up. “
I
was the one who insisted we cut the bond
between us.
I
was the one who pretended I didn’t…didn’t love
you so that you would agree to our separation.”

Kat’s breath caught in her chest. “What are
you saying?”

“That I
do
love you. Oh, Kat…I’ve
been such a fool. Such a Goddess damned fool when it comes to you.”
His voice was hoarse with emotion.

“Deep—”

“I’ve always loved you,” he went on, taking
her hand. “From the moment Lock and I first laid eyes on you. He
was male enough to admit how he felt but I…I was afraid. So afraid
that what had happened once before might happen again.”

“I know about that,” Kat said quietly.
“About Miranda. I saw it when I was dream sharing with you. I know
how deeply it affected you.”

“You didn’t seem to want us at first,” Deep
said, examining her small hand in his big one. “I hardened my heart
against you then. I told myself I wasn’t surprised that such a
gorgeous elite female wasn’t interested in joining with Lock and
me. After all, we’d already had our chance once and failed
miserably. Or I should say,
I
failed miserably.”

“It wasn’t your fault Miranda killed
herself,” Kat protested.

“Yes it was. Just as it’s my fault you’re
going to…to…” Deep shook his head, apparently unable to go on.

“You don’t have to say it.” Kat squeezed his
fingers. “And it’s not all your fault. I
was
against being
with you and Lock to start with. It was scary—the idea of being
with two guys at once—really big guys too. And having your emotions
in my head all the time, at first it was awful. Now…now I kind of
miss it. Miss
feeling
you, Deep.”

He raised his head. “When did you change? I
thought you seemed different while we were on Twin Moons but I
didn’t let myself believe. I was too afraid. And then you collapsed
after we made love and I told myself it was for the best if you
didn’t want us. I was so afraid, you looked so much like
her
at that moment.”

“I understand,” Kat said quietly. “I thought
it might be something like that. But as for when I changed my mind
about you and Lock, It was so gradual it’s hard to say. I think it
was on Twin Moons, before we were captured by the natives, when I
first realized how
nice
it could be feeling you and Lock
inside me.” She blushed. “Uh, you know what I mean.”

Deep smiled sadly. “Yes. Don’t worry, I
won’t mock you.”

“That’s a change.” She gave him a tiny smile
back. “Anyway, I noticed that when both of you were in harmony,
when you were loving each other and…and caring for me, it was
wonderful
feeling your emotions. Like being filled with
sunshine. I think that’s when I began to feel less opposed to the
idea of being bonded to both of you permanently, even if it was an
unconscious rather than a conscious decision.”

Deep sighed. “Lock and I haven’t had many of
those brotherly moments lately. I’ve made him hate me—just as I
tried my damndest to make you hate me, Kat.”

“Well, you never really succeeded.” She
squeezed his hand. “Although I certainly thought you were an
asshole.”

“I was,” he said seriously. “And a bastard
and any other Earth vernacular names you can think of to call me.
But worst of all, I was a fool. Lock and I could have had you in
our lives forever if I hadn’t been so arrogant and cowardly.
Now…there’s nothing I can do except admit my faults to you and say
goodbye.”

“Deep—” she started to protest but he shook
his head.

“I do not ask for your forgiveness. I know
full well I am beyond redemption.” He sighed and looked into her
eyes. “But please let me say it once more—
I love you,
Katrina O’Connor of Earth. I love you with everything that is in
me. I will never forgive myself for the way my foolish actions have
harmed you. And for this…” he brushed her wounded cheek with his
fingertips. Kat felt the tingle and knew the curling green lines
must have progressed. But she didn’t pull away from his touch.

Deep studied her eyes for a long moment.
Searching for something,
Kat thought.
But what?
If he
was searching for hatred or recrimination he didn’t find it. Even
though she was going to die, Kat couldn’t bring herself to hate
him. He had acted horribly but in the end, it was her best interest
he’d had in mind.
He was trying to save me…save me from himself.
And now it’s too late.

“Kat…” Deep’s voice was filled with need. He
pulled her close and Kat didn’t fight him. She expected a
desperate, burning kiss filled with passion and Deep didn’t
disappoint her. But then, suddenly, the kiss turned gentle and his
touch was soothing rather than demanding.
This is how he could
be all the time, if only he let himself,
she thought as he
deepened the kiss, sucking her lower lip tenderly before exploring
her mouth.
If he could let go of his past, his bitterness, his
fear. If he could have let himself admit he loved me before it was
too late…

She clung desperately to him, her heart
drumming in her ears, feeling like she was going to die if he let
her go.
But you’re going to die anyway, no matter what,
a
little voice in her head reminded her. Kat pushed it away. She
didn’t want to think of that right now. She just wanted to let
herself melt against Deep and know, finally truly
know
that
he loved her.

Even if it was too late.

At last he pulled back and studied her face.
“Thank you.” His voice was hoarse and there was a bright sheen of
tears in his bottomless black eyes. “Thank you for not hating
me.”

“Deep, I could never—”

“Forgive me, but we need to use the viewing
room.” Two Beast Kindred officers came in with Olivia and Sophie
trailing behind them.

“Sorry,” Liv said. “We tried to stop
them.”

“That’s all right.” Deep straightened and
nodded at them. “I think we’re finished here. Aren’t we, little
Kat?”

“I…I guess so.” She wasn’t sure why but she
had the feeling that she needed to say or do something else. But
what? What else could she do but let Deep go as he seemed intent on
doing.
There is one thing I can do, though,
she thought.
“Deep,” she called as he turned for the door.

“Yes?” He turned back for a moment.

“Please, if you meant what you said, tell
Lock everything you just told me,” she said quietly. “He needs to
hear it as much as I did. Maybe even more.”

A grim look crossed his face. “Don’t worry,
little Kat. That’s exactly what I’m going to do.” Then he turned
again and was gone, through the doorway as silent as a ghost.

Kat watched him go, strangely troubled. But
then Sophie and Liv were taking her by the hand and leading her out
of the viewing room.
I’ll see him again,
she promised
herself.
Before it’s too late, I’ll see him one last
time.

Lock packed slowly, putting his clothing
into the compressor and watching as the machine minimized each item
and spit it neatly into the waiting box. Using the handy little
contraption, an entire household full of items could be packed in
one or two small crates, making moving out much easier. Physically,
anyway. Emotionally, he was torn.

He had taken a long shower, washing the
AllFather’s muck from his body and it was there, with the hot water
pounding on his head, that the idea of leaving had presented
itself. Lock wasn’t sure where he was going, only that he needed to
get away.

Living with his brother had always been the
most natural thing in the world. But now that the connection they
had shared since birth was cut, it didn’t feel right any more. Even
if he and Deep had still been getting along, it wouldn’t have
worked. And since they’d declared open warfare on each other, the
idea of continuing to live in the same suite and share the same bed
as they had since they were babies was completely unthinkable.

I’m an island now. A single that used to
be a double.
It was something he had secretly wished for
sometimes as a child. Deep had always been abrasive and
argumentative, making it hard to make and keep friends. Sometimes
Lock had wished he was a different kind of male, a Blood or Beast
Kindred instead of a Twin. Someone who could live life on his own
instead of always being tied to another.

But now that he had his wish he just
felt…empty.
I don’t even hate him anymore,
he realized
tiredly as he packed.
Because he’s not my brother now that the
tie between us has been cut. He’s just a stranger. And I’m
alone…all alone for the first time in my life.

He would be even more alone once Kat died
but he didn’t want to think about that. He wanted desperately to go
see her, to tell her how he felt one last time before it was too
late. But something kept holding him back—maybe it was the fear
that once he said goodbye the whole situation would finally be
real. Lock knew it wasn’t logical to delay for such a reason but he
couldn’t help himself. He didn’t want to admit the woman he
loved—the only woman he had ever loved—was going to die.

Oh my lady…Oh Kat…

“I’m back, Brother.”

The sound of Deep’s voice behind him
startled Lock and he turned to face his twin.

“What did Mother L’rin say?” he demanded.
“Did she give you any hope?”

“None. I’m sorry.” Deep’s shoulders slumped.
“She did say there might have been hope—if we were both bonded to
her. We could have diluted the poison—shared it between us until it
was no longer deadly. We
could
have saved Kat’s life.”

A swell of fury and despair threatened to
overwhelm Lock but he stood his ground, his hands clenched into
fists. “But we can’t now, is that it? Now that you’re no longer
bonded to either one of us?”

“We can’t,” Deep acknowledged heavily.
“Because of me. Because of my foolish pride, my fear, my arrogance.
I’m sorry, Brother. This is all my fault.”

Despite the emotions tearing him apart
inside, Lock couldn’t help looking at his twin in surprise. “What a
shock—the infallible Deep finally admitting he has some faults. But
saying you were wrong now won’t help anything. It won’t save Kat’s
life…or keep me from leaving.”

“I noticed you were packing.” Deep nodded at
the compressor and the half full box. “Where will you go?”

“I don’t know,” Lock said tiredly. “I’ll
stay here until Kat is…until she’s gone. But after that…” He
shrugged his shoulders. “Who knows?”

“Anywhere away from me, I guess,” Deep said
in a low voice. “I can’t say that I blame you, Brother.”

“Don’t call me that,” Lock said, but without
heat. “As you pointed out, it no longer applies.”

“Lock…” Deep came forward and put a hand on
his shoulder. Lock wanted to shrug it off but he was too tired. He
looked into his twin’s eyes instead…the eyes of a stranger.

“What?”

“I know I’ve made a mess of everything. I’ve
ruined all three of our lives and cost Kat hers. But I need a
favor.”

“A favor?” Lock raised an eyebrow at him.
“After all you’ve put us through, you have the nerve to ask me for
something?”

“It’s easy. And small. It will only take you
half a second—less. I swear.” Deep looked at him earnestly.
“Please, Brother, if you ever loved me, grant me this one
thing.”

Lock sighed. “All right, I should say no
but…what is it?”

“First swear you’ll do it.” Deep’s grip on
his shoulder tightened. “Swear on our fathers’ graves.”