Soul Catcher (66 page)

^{Before he knew it, he'd blurted out, "I don't need to answer to some . . ."}

^{He didn't say some runaway slave, some white man's nigger bitch, but they both knew that's what he meant. She gave him a look at once angry and hurt, and turned and walked farther into the woods where she'd made camp. In silence she built a fire and began to cook supper, not even looking over at him.}

^{"Plans have changed," he finally said.}

^"Yeah?"

^{"Yeah." He explained the business about the other runaway, that they had the militia out looking for her and that they couldn't use the ferry. Once across the river, he told her, they were going to meet up with a man who ran the Underground Railroad.}

^{"He'll take you north," he explained.}

^{"What about that place you talked of?"}

^{"It's too risky. Not with all the patrols they have out on the roads. But he'll see that you get to Canada."}

^{"Canada?" she said. "I don't know nothin' 'bout Canada."}

^{"You'll be safe there."}

^{"Why don't I go back to Boston, then? 'Least I knew folks there. There was other Negroes in Boston."}

^{"You'd never be safe in Boston. You know that. He'd find you."}

^{"Just take me back there."}

^{"No. That's crazy."}

^{"Then let me make my own way."}

^{"I said no."}

^{"Am I still your nigger slave or am I free?"}

^{"You're going to do what I damn well tell you. And that's final."}

^{They ate supper in an awkward silence. Cain sat there morosely sipping from his flask. He regretted the comment he'd made before. He didn't even know where it had come from. Just some ornery dark place that was buried deep in him. That place that all white men resorted to finally, ultimately.}

^{"What about you?" she asked after a while. "Where you gonna go?"}

^{"I told you. I'm heading west."}

^{She pretended interest in the food on her plate. Then she looked across the fire at him. "Take me with you."}

^{"What?" he said, looking up at her.}

^{"Take me with you. I wouldn't be no trouble."}

^{"How the hell am I going to take you with me?" he said.}

^{"Why not?"}

^{"Because it'd be too dangerous."}

^{"I come all this way with you, didn't I?"}

^{"And we both nearly got ourselves killed in the process! I tell you, it's too dangerous."}

^{"You just want to be shut of me is all."}

^{"That's not why. It's just that it's safer for you to go north with those Underground Railroad people."}

^{"What about last night and this morning? Didn't that mean nothing? Or was that just sport? Havin' you a little fun."}

^{"You know that's not true."}

^"No?"

^{"No!" Cain snapped at her. He wanted to tell her what he felt. He wanted to tell her that he loved her, loved her more than he'd ever loved anything. But something held him back, something turned his love to anger and to bitterness. "Don't you understand?"}

^{"Only thing I understand is the man I love don't want me."}

^{"It just wouldn't work, Rosetta. Out west is not going to be any different. They wouldn't let us be."}

^{She got up and came around the fire and sat down beside him. She put her hand on his arm, got up so close he could smell her warm breath on his face.}

^{"I could make like I'm your slave. Nobody'd have to know 'cept}

^us."

^{"No," he replied.}

^{"Listen to me, Cain. It could work."}

^{"Just stop it."}

^{"I'm willin' at least to try."}

^{"I told you to stop."}

^{"You're just afraid?"}

^{"Afraid? Of what?" he hissed at her.}

^{"It ain't got to do with nobody else. It's got to do with you afraid of being with me." She put the palm of her right hand against his face. "Please, Cain. I'm beggin' you."}

^{"Stop it."}

^{"Don't do this. We could be together, me and you." She tried to hug him then, but he shoved her violently away and stood up.}

^{"Godamn it. I said enough," he cried, staring down at her. "Tomorrow you're going north, and I won't hear any more about it. Do you hear me?"}

^{With that he stomped off into the woods.}

^{Chapter 23.}

^{W
hen Cain woke, a dull rattling commenced in his head, almost as if, while he'd slept, someone had poured buckshot into his ear. Shielding his eyes from the bright morning light, he tried to form spit to have something to swallow the foul taste in his mouth. Rosetta had already been up for a time, having made a fire and boiled coffee.}

^{"You want coffee?" she asked just this side of surly.}

^"Please."

^{She poured him a cup and he sat up and took it.}

^{"What time is it?" he asked, more just to break the silence than to engage in conversation with her.}

^{"Figure 'bout seven. More riders come by earlier," she said with a nod toward the road below. "When we leavin'?"}

^{"At nightfall."}

^{They spent the day pretending nothing was wrong. Cain cleaned and oiled his gun, replacing the percussion caps, while Rosetta occupied herself with darning her socks. An awkwardness had set in between them, so that when they spoke at all it was like strangers sharing a stagecoach. At one point she looked at him, frowned, then said, "See you cut your beard," to which he replied simply, "Yes." Later on, he told her he was going to take the horses down to the river to water them. While he was there, he watched the traffic on the Ohio, some of it headed north to Pittsburgh, some south to Cincinnati. There were flat-bottomed crafts and scows, dugouts and droghers, barges filled with coal and lumber, as well as a long stern-wheeler headed upriver. On the other side, he saw a colored man behind a large draft horse plowing a field. Not a half mile away, freedom loomed like an impenetrable fortress.}

^{He picked up some stones and skimmed them across the water. They danced on the surface for a while, slowed, then sank beneath the current. He thought about his conversation with Rosetta the night before. He couldn't take her with him. That was just plain crazy. It would just be too dangerous. Besides, a life together wouldn't work. He wondered if it was true, as she'd said, that he was afraid. Afraid of what people would say? Was he still, in his heart of hearts, a southerner, a white man? Despite everything they'd been through, everything he felt for her, could he never renounce that? Maybe his father had been right. Or was it simply that he was afraid of tying his life to another, losing his freedom by shackling himself to this woman? He couldn't say.}

^{When darkness fell, he told her, "Let's go."}

^{They circled around the town, keeping to the woods as much as possible. The night was pleasant and clear, with a nearly full waxing moon hanging above like the eye of a cat. They made their way toward the river and dismounted, walking the rest of the way. As they got down closer to the water they could hear the raspy chorus of frogs and the metallic drone of crickets. It was cooler down near the water. After a while, Cain made out the shack. A light shone inside. As they approached, Hermes neighed once and bobbed his head nervously. Cain froze. He drew his Colt and peered warily into the woods around him.}

^{"What?" Rosetta whispered.}

^{"I don't know."}

^{They waited for several minutes. When nothing happened, he told her to wait there with the horses.}

^{He crept up to the front door of the cabin and crouched in the darkness, trying to hear any noises that might be coming from inside. Nothing. He rose up and peered through the window, saw the man sitting at the table drinking from his jug. At that moment, Cain heard something behind him, and he whirled around. It was the cat, oblivious to how close it had come to losing all of its nine lives. The animal simply rubbed its nose against the gun's barrel. Finally, Cain stood and knocked. In a moment the door swung inward, and the man stood there, holding a lantern aloft.}

^{"Wondrin' where you was," Pettigrew said. Glancing down at the gun in Cain's hand, he asked, "What's that for?"}

^{Cain looked over the man's shoulder into the cabin. Only when he was sure it was safe did he holster the gun.}

^{"We all set?" he asked the man.}

^{"You got the money?"}

^{"I do."}

^{Pettigrew stuck out his hand. "Let's see it."}

^{"We said when you get us across."}

^{"You
said. Things changed. You'll need to pony up now or we ain't goin' nowhere."}

^{Cain didn't like paying in full before they were across, but the other man held all the cards.}

^{"Where's your sheep?" the man asked, looking past him into the darkness. "We ain't got all night."}

^{"I'll be right back."}

^{When he reached Rosetta, he tied the horses to a tree.}

^{"Come on," he said to her. They found Pettigrew back inside, seated at his table drinking from the stone jug.}

^{"Want a nip?" he asked Cain.}

^{"I thought you were in a hurry."}

^{"We got us a little time. Set yourself down and relax," the man said, smiling unctuously.}

^{"I want to get going," Cain replied. "I have an appointment on the other side."}

^{"All in good time," he said, staring at Rosetta. "Now I see why you were so all-fired-up to get her across. Ain't she a likely thing."}

^{"We need to go."}

^{"Just hold your horses, mister," Pettigrew said, glancing toward the front window. "I'm waitin' on somebody."}

^{"What?" Cain said.}

^{" 'Nother passenger."}

^{"You didn't say anything about that."}

^{"Didn't figure it was none a your business."}

^{"I'm paying you good money."}

^{"So's he," Pettigrew explained. "Don't get your dander up. Have a drink and relax. Maybe your nigger'd like a drink."}

^{"I want you to take us across now."}

^{"What say you to a drink?" he said, extending the jug out to Rosetta.}