Soul Corrupted (18 page)

Grace

I didn’t know if Keira would get
my text, let alone answer, yet here we are in the Christian bookshop again and
Keira’s actually in a little, white sweater set with black slacks. She looks
like she might be headed to church.

“Quit laughing,” she says. “I wanted to be
inconspicuous.”

I note the white glove still on her left hand and stop
mid-chuckle.

“You came,” I say, not quite sure how to start.

“I needed to see you, too. Lucifer’s going to come for
you. You have to go back to Heaven and stay there. Or at least stay with Josh.”

Her instructions are tempting. I want to run back to
the safety of Josh’s arms more than anything. I swallow down the taste of fear
and desire, trying to remember that she has Noah’s best interests at heart. “Why?”
I ask. “What does Lucifer want with me?”

“He’ll try to convince you he can stop Noah from
becoming the Antichrist, in exchange for your soul. But it’s a lie. You know
it’s too late, so just go back upstairs, okay?” She waits for my response, doing
and undoing the top button on her sweater.

“But Lucifer can’t lie. So how does he plan on convincing
me?” I ask.

“He’ll say it’s only Hell that can interact with Noah
now, so that’s exactly where you need to be.”

“Makes sense.” In fact, it’s the same reason I came
back down here and told Josh not to follow. It’s the only way I can reach my
brother. “Bring me to him.”

“Are you crazy?” Keira screeches. “
Lucifer will
forbid you from seeing him once you’re there. He’ll
own
you. At least in
Heaven, you have free will.
”

I resist telling her that I’m as good as kicked out of
Heaven anyway. That it was my plan to go to Hell. But maybe now that I know
Lucifer
wants
me, I can leverage what
I
want. I can be very
careful about the wording and make it work in my favor. Yes, I must speak to
him.

Keira paces the floor in front of me, sensing my
hesitation. “No one’s going to be there to save you this time if you fall,
Grace.”

I almost believe she’s worried. “I need you to promise
me one thing, no matter what happens. Can I trust you?” I ask. I must be nuts.

“What?” Keira asks, eyes wide.

“Promise me that you’ll be there to make sure Noah doesn’t
lose himself. I know inside he’s still a good person. I don’t care what anyone
says—there has to be a way to still reach that part of him.”

“Maybe you’ve forgotten who I am, Grace, but let me remind
you. Pure evil, remember?” She pulls off her glove and holds up her finger.

I take her hand in mine, and focus my healing powers
on her. I haven’t used them in far too long. We watch together as her finger
glows, the blackened skin melting back into her own flesh.

She stares at her hand, holding it up in front of her
face in awe. “Lucifer wouldn’t fix it, even though he said it ‘offended’ him.”

“Maybe he couldn’t.” I shrug. “Everyone has some good
inside of them, Keira. I hope you’ll choose what’s best for my brother.”

Keira takes my hands in hers, and turns them over,
comparing them as they interlace. “I do want what’s best for Noah.”

“Just…just promise me you’ll be there for him. Help counteract
some of Lucifer’s influence. Any and every little bit matters. I know it.”

“Yes. No. I don’t know! You’ve gotten under my skin
and now I don’t know what’s happening to me.” She turns toward the bookcase and
leans in with her forehead against the wood. “I’ll do whatever I can to help him.
I just need to be able to see him again.”

“If you’re really what he wants when all is said and
done, I will accept that.” I don’t mention that if we truly save him, she
probably can’t be with him anyway. I have a feeling she knows it and the fact that
she wants to help him anyway gives me some confidence in her.

She lifts her head and smiles, and she looks younger
than ever in her getup. Like a real fifteen-year-old. “Thanks.”

“Can I help you?” A young man’s voice forces my
attention. He’s holding a stack of silver crosses in one hand and has a
nameplate that reads “
peter
.”

Keira backs as far away as possible from the
glittering crosses. “No.”

I use glamour to make him go away.

Keira puts a hand on my shoulder. “Listen, about Josh…
I never thought for a second he’d fall for that ‘Hope’ thing. I wasn’t given a
choice.”

I nod, averting my gaze. I guess that was as close to
an apology as a Demon can get. “It wasn’t your fault. It wouldn’t have worked
at all if we weren’t already having issues. I wish I could just turn off my
feelings.” Why am I discussing my relationship with her of all people?

 “Why aren’t you together? Can’t you forgive him?”

“It’s complicated.” That’s the best answer I can give.
I’m planning on going to Hell and I refuse to drag Josh down with me.

“You two were meant to be together and believe me,
Josh wants to be with you no matter what. I know. I know what it feels like to
be away from Noah.”

I consider Keira. She seems so earnest. So desperate.
I know how I feel without Josh. It sucks. It would be so much easier to run
back to him and Heaven and search for help for Noah there. But she doesn’t know
all the ridiculous rules we have to follow.

Keira takes a deep breath. "Listen, I don’t have
a Hell of a lot of time here. You need to get back to Heaven. Decide there if
you do or don’t want to forgive Josh. Just go back to where it’s safe.”

She grabs me by the shoulders when I don’t respond. “Grace,
don’t be stupid. Go back. I’ll do anything. Please.”

“I’m sorry, Keira, but it’s already too late. I have
one last stop to make, and then I’d like a meeting with Lucifer.”

Keira

Just when I was starting to
see a new side to Princess Grace, she makes the worst decision of her existence.
Typical. Josh is the only one left who can possibly stop her, so he’s my next
visit.

I knock at Lucy’s front door, which is something I’m
not used to at all. But I have to keep up appearances. What the Hell is taking him
so damn long to answer? The kid’s family will be home soon and that’s just
going to make it more of a production.

I’m not big on patience, especially with my dwindling
window of time, and I press the button for the doorbell three times, rapidly.

Still nothing.

Fine. Just because I’m supposed to act “human” doesn’t
mean I have to play nice. I open the door, which may now need a new lock. And
frame. But at least I’m in.

“Hey, Josh!” I’m about to get super pissed that he’s
not here when I hear something strange coming from the kitchen. It sounds like eerie
music interspersed with
thumps
.

“You in here?” I ask, entering the kitchen. My chin
drops. Josh is on his knees in front of the kid, water gushing from his mouth,
his hands around his throat. His face is purple. She’s humming some freaky
thing and holding out her hands toward him like a horror flick.

He’s drowning.

My feet cement themselves in the ground as my mind
flashes back to the memory of Maxwell’s hands holding me under. The water that burned
my nose and throat. The sensation of a thousand pounds weighing down my lungs
as I fought for air.

I shake myself out of it. Josh is already dead. He
can’t die
again
, unless… That’s when I notice the blade in her hand. I’d
know it anywhere. I collect them, after all. She has a mixed blade. She
can
kill him.

And me.

“Hey!” I scream at the little bitch as she raises the
blade above Josh’s struggling form, tip pointed downward. “I need him!” I run
forward and give her one good shove, and she flies into the counter before
sinking to the floor. The strange song ceases and Josh vomits up another gallon
of water on the floor while wheezing and sucking at the air.

I grab a napkin from the countertop and carefully
scoop up the blade, shoving it in my bag. Then I push at the girl with the toe
of my suede boot and notice the blood running in rivulets from beneath her
head, mixing with the water on the ground. Oops. Maybe I overdid it a tad.

“You done yet?” I ask, hands on hips, staring down at
Josh as he struggles to get to his feet. I roll my eyes, storm to the sink, and
grab him a glass of water.

“Thanks,” he gasps, taking it from me with a shaky
hand, still careful not to touch my skin. He stares at my pinkie while he
drinks. “Your finger’s okay.”

“Thanks to the love of your life, yeah.” I flex my
hand. “But let’s keep it that way, huh?”

“You saw Grace?” Josh slams the glass down on the
counter and stands to his full height. “You stay away from her, you hear me?” So
much for saving him.

“She likes me now.” I smile. He remains dubious.
“Well, okay, maybe ‘like’ is too strong a word. But she does accept me. In
fact, I’m here to get you to help her.”

Josh folds his arms across his soaking T-shirt. It
makes the outline of his chest stand out. Nice, but he’s no Noah.

“You can’t actually think I’m going to trust whatever
you have to say.”

“After I saved you? You are an Angel. I am a Demon. I.
Saved. You. You don’t see me getting a free pass to Heaven, do you? The least
you could do is listen to me.”

“FYI, Keira, you can’t just get into Heaven because you
did one good deed. Besides, you did it for yourself. I heard what you said. You
need me for something.”

“Yeah. That’s what I’m trying to tell you—”

“Hold on. First I have to help Lucy.”

I grunt and pull myself up to sit on the counter. The
water on the floor is going to damage my boots. “Yeah, about that. I pushed a
little too hard. But I had good intentions, so whatever. She’s probably already
in Hell.”

Josh stares at her body and I swear I see water
swimming in his eyes.

“Suck it up, Angel Boy. Your heroism is needed
elsewhere.”

“What is it you want?” Josh rubs at his throat and
glares at me with his baby blues.

“Here’s the plan,” I say, happy that he’s finally listening.
“You get back with Gracie and go back to Heaven. She needs you.”

“Grace. And she doesn’t want me.”

“Puh-lease. Yes she does. For a former player, you really
don’t get women, do you? Anyway you need to stop her. She’s planning on going
to Hell so she can be with Noah.” I stop and wait for his reaction.

“What? No. That’s insane. Lucifer would never let
her…wait. Saving her helps you out how?” he asks.

“I’m trying to protect her because I want Noah. You
have a much better chance of finding some kind of loophole from upstairs than
down here. You know how it is working for Lucifer. And Lucifer wants her, Josh.
He sent me to make sure she’s at the coffeehouse in…” I check the clock on the
wall, “fifteen minutes.” I reach over and grab a fistful of nuts from a crystal
dish on the counter.

Josh pulls out a dining chair and sits. “And you’re
going against the Boss to tell me this?”

“Yes. Believe me or don’t. But you and I both know
she’ll last all of two seconds with Lucifer.”

He glares, but I can tell I struck a chord. I pop some
nuts in my mouth and chew while he gets his thoughts in order.

“She doesn’t want me anywhere near her.”

I toss the rest of the nuts back in the bowl and slide
off the table onto the tile floor. “What is wrong with you people? She does
want you, Josh. She’s Grace, so she’s trying to do what she thinks is the
right
thing—even though it’s stupid.”

“How do I know I can trust you?” Josh asks, standing
again. “You could be making this all up so I leave Lucy and you can get your
hands on her.”

“Lucy is
dead
.” I step right into his personal
space, trying to resist the urge to smack him. “Don’t you get it? Lucy doesn’t matter
any more. Lucifer has the fucking Antichrist. Now we need to save Noah, and we
can’t do it from Hell. You
know
that. Grace trusts me.” I hold out my
finger for him to see again. “And now she needs saving. Isn’t that your MO?”

“I don’t know where to find her.” But he stands like
he’s ready to run out the door anyway. Thank Heaven.

“She’s at her grave. I might have followed her before
coming here.”

“Fine. I’ll go talk to her.”

I cringe as Josh is engulfed in a ball of Heavenly
light before disappearing. And I thought my smoke was gaudy.

Josh

“Grace?” I find her kneeling
by her grave on the frozen ground. She’s dressed in jeans and a big, gray
sweater, her curls blowing behind her in the wind. I don’t think she’s ever
been more beautiful.

“What would have happened if I hadn’t died?” she asks,
bringing me to a stop. “Do you ever wonder?”

I shrug, thrusting my hands deeper into the pockets of
my coat. “My life wasn’t exactly going great. But I do wish I’d never hurt you.
Even if it means I never got to be with you, Grace.”

She runs a finger over her name on the stone, still
not looking at me. What’s she feeling? I’m afraid to touch her, as much as I
want to. I don’t want to scare her off again or ruin the moment now that we’re
finally talking. Whatever I do, I seem to ruin things. Like Lucy’s life and
afterlife. She’s dead now and in Hell—all because I failed her. I feel
sick.

“I was wrong,” Grace says, voice thick. “I never knew
what was going on in that head of his. I never would have guessed I could hurt
him so badly. I do that. I hurt people and don’t even realize it. I did it to
Cam, too. I pushed him over the edge.”

“Grace, no. That was my fault. I manipulated Cam into
a jealous rage. I was the evil one. I tried my best to do my job when I was a Demon,
and I was good at it. It was me and I won’t let you blame yourself. I’m tired
of pretending that I’m perfect. I’m not. I never was. I don’t deserve your
love, Grace, but don’t you dare try to take the blame for everything.”

Slowly, she rises from the grave and turns to face me,
eyes sparkling with tears, but her face is unreadable. I just laid it all out,
everything I’ve been feeling since I’ve been in Heaven. Now all I can do is
wait for her response. I huddle deeper into my coat, feeling naked.

“Josh, we’re both to blame. Neither one of us is
perfect, don’t you see? Heaven isn’t what we were told when we were kids. I
don’t think anyone up there is perfect. Not even Mr. Griffith, and I think he’d
agree with me. Heaven itself isn’t perfect, but we all do the best we can.”

I want to kiss her, but I keep still because I sense
there’s more she wants to say.

“I love you, Josh. But I love Noah and that’s not
enough. I want to trust you more than anything because I feel like if we work
together—really work together—everything could be possible. But I
can’t trust you. You keep trying to protect me and it turns out to be the wrong
choice every time. I end up more hurt and so do you. I don’t want to be
protected.”

 “I’ll stop. I’ll tell you everything from now
on. I swear, Grace. It’s hard not to want to protect you, but I won’t.” I open
my arms, but she doesn’t run inside.

“You’re here because Keira told you to be. To protect
me from Lucifer. I know she followed me.”

I drop my arms to my sides. I can’t deny it.

“I keep looking the other way, Josh. You were a Demon.
You were being forced—even tortured—by the Devil to do horrible
things. I get it. I even understand that you helped…kill Tommy Two.”

I feel like the dagger’s slicing through my skin
again. I hated being compliant with Cam. “I didn’t help. But you’re right—I
didn’t stop him, either. I tried, but Lucifer hurt me. Still, it was my choice,
and I chose to sit by and take the easy road. I’m so sorry. So sorry.”

“I know.” She presses her eyes closed, squeezing out
another stream of tears and steadying herself. “But when you slept with me,
Josh. When you knowingly made me fall…” She stops again and looks at me.

We never really talked about it. We skirted the issue,
but never faced it head on. “I know. I couldn’t give you up and I thought you’d
choose the same as me. But at some level I knew that was crazy. I knew if I
asked you, you’d say no and then I’d lose everything I cared about.”

“But you might not have.” She steps forward, closing
some of the gap between us. “You might’ve been surprised. Or we might’ve come
up with another way. But because of what you did I couldn’t see what was right
in front of my face. I didn’t recognize Keira when she was Hope. I accepted
that you’d cheat. I couldn’t trust you. Do you see?”

I nod, my throat thick. “I need to trust
you
,
Grace. I need to stop trying to prevent bad things from happening because they
end up worse anyway.”

“The question is, Josh, can we trust each other now?
Can we trust ourselves?” She’s nose to nose with me now. Close enough to kiss.
Electricity tingles in the small space between us and all sense is leaving my
body. Still, I wait for her to make the move. I will not blow this.

“I trust you,” I whisper. “And I won’t be stupid
enough to lose you again. I’ll tell you everything.”

She smiles. “Then I need your help.” She leans into
me, standing on her toes, so she’s talking directly over my mouth.

“Anything,” I say. “As long as there’s still the
sliver of a chance for a future with you, I’ll do anything you want, Grace.”

“I’m going to Hell, and you’re not coming with me. You
have to stay up there. Keira is convinced the key to saving Noah is in Heaven.
Just in case she’s right, we need someone up there doing all he can.”

“Then you stay. I’ll go back to Hell. I know how to
handle it, Grace—”

“Josh. You’re doing it again. I have a plan. Please. Just.
Trust. Me.”

Does she have to beg with those beautiful, honey-colored
eyes? She’s asking the hardest thing possible. Doesn’t she see that?

“Josh, keeping me in the dark hurt and it didn’t stop
me from finding out about Noah’s decision, either. And yes, I get it now. It
was his decision. And maybe I keep making too many excuses for you, too,
because I don’t want to see the truth. Maybe you are only capable of taking the
easy way out.”

Ouch. I suck in a breath like she punched me in the
gut. She may as well have.

Tears well in her eyes and I instantly forgive her.
She’s right. I do avoid the hard choices. Maybe if I hadn’t, I would have seen
a better way with Lucy, or helped her save Noah before he became the Antichrist,
or never have lost Grace at all.

“Josh, I’m sorry. I don’t want to hurt you, either,
but I need you to understand. I have to do this, even if it doesn’t work. It’s
my only chance to save my brother. Holding me back will only make things worse.
It will mean an eternity of pain and regret.
Please
.”

There is so much passion in her voice, and we’re so
close together I can feel her breath on my cheek. I’m unable to stand another
moment with even a millimeter of space between us. I grab her and press my lips
to hers. She melts into me and I pull her close so there’s no space between us.
Then there’s nothing in the world but us. Even as the golden light surrounds
us, I can’t stop kissing her, touching the skin of her lower back beneath her
sweater, feeling her hair tickle my other hand as I press her head ever closer.

My kiss only grows more fervent at we materialize back
in Heaven. I don’t want it to end. I’m afraid of what’s about to happen.

“Ahem.”

Mr. Griffith waits while we slowly disentangle. Grace
is so beautiful I can’t take my eyes off of her—golden curls wild, face
flushed, breathing fast. She doesn’t stop looking at me, either, even as Mr.
Griffith steps between us.

“Why, Grace?” he asks, pain lacing his words.

She stands tall, gaze still locked on me. “I had to
go. And I’m glad I did.”

“I will not change the rules, even for you, even under
the circumstances. But, Grace, you do not belong in Hell. I don’t understand
why you would do this.”

Grace finally looks at him. “Then you know nothing
about love, Mr. Griffith. Because I love my brother unconditionally. And excuse
my language, but maybe your rules are fucked up, Michael.”

Michael
?

“Maybe they are. But I cannot change them.”

Grace looks as shocked as I feel.

Mr. Griffith bends down and kisses the top of her
head. “Good-bye, Grace.”

Grace’s eyes snap back to mine as she begins to glow. Fear
swims in her eyes.

“No!” I scream, reaching for her, but she’s gone, and I
drop to the ground and sob. I don’t care anymore who sees me or how manly I
look. I’ve lost her again. Every moment with Lucifer is insufferable and that’s
where I’ve let her go.

“Josh,” Mr. Griffith’s gentle voice cuts in what feels
like ages later. I didn’t even realize he was still here.

I push myself back to my feet, rubbing at my face with
my fists. “You didn’t have to do that.” I’m shaking.

“I did. I know you want to be with her. I know you
love her. But she knew the consequences. And now, it’s only a matter time
before the Antichrist brings Lucifer’s reign to Earth and I must focus on
preparing Heaven. I expect you to behave as an Angel, Josh, no matter how
difficult it is. I’m going to need you to fill Shona in on what’s happened.
She’ll have to start training more greeters…”

I stand tall, at my full height, and meet Mr.
Griffith’s gaze. I used to be scared of him, and then I grew to trust him. Now
I pity him. Grace was right. He really doesn’t get what it means to be human.

I have to tense every muscle to avoid my inclination
to scream sense into him. It won’t do any good for anyone. Grace wants me up
here for a reason and that’s what I plan to focus on.

I will find a way to help her save Noah. And then I
will find a way to save her.